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About Leges39

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  • Birthday January 4
  1. Wow, it is now December 2020 or about 16 years since i started writing here about my ex. What is my update? Well, I am happily married to Jen and we recently purchased a new place together in Chicago. Do I think about the ex? Sure I do. We talked back and forth for a while on the phone, but that stopped about 6 months ago when she started to develop feelings for me. I understand that. She is living alone with her daughter from the guy who she met at the new years eve party about 30 pages back. He left her and that is that. She is very religious now and does not drink or smoke
  2. So, although this happened a month or two ago, i thought i would share to keep this thread real. one of my best friends, who still spends time with the ex, told me that my ex said she wished that she never left me. "Doesn't that make you feel good?" she said... No Nancy, it doesn't. it confuses the * * * * out of me. i start thinking all over again.
  3. ok ok! You all see through me. I am still in love with my ex. So what. It means nothing. My wife is still in love with her dead boyfriend and that is no dif. I would never go back on my commitment to my wife who I love.
  4. I know deep down based on a long long path that even if I wanted to be with the ex she does not or will she ever love me (if she truly did) again. She made it clear at the end. She cares but not to be in love. Remember how I connected to the girl kristen? The ex called me and before I knew it kristen and I broke up. The ex did not contact me till I was married this time. Point of no return.
  5. I really should have posted here before going to see her... the ex. i really underestimated how she would react. and when i did finally go, i thought she was just being quite on the subject, but knew i would be going. Honestly, i did not contact her. she saw me out somehwere alone, approached me and started to cry when i told her how happy i was with my new wife, home and life...i comforted her, of course...who wants to see a woman of 31 cry? remembering that my wife always wished that the ex and i were friendly (not friends as i realized later) i tried to comfort her with words (that alway
  6. So what did the ex and I talk about? Mind blowing stuff!
  7. Ya. I'm an idiot. I did go to c her out of compasion but failed to c how upset my wife would b. I'm still feeling the affects of my poor judgement but she says she has let it go undr conditions that I don't "hang" with her ever, don't talk on phone with her or text or email. I can chat w her if she is a a paryt (we still have many mutual friends) and even include her "if I wish" for parties. Of course I won't send invites and keep chating to a minimum. Unless my wife becomes her friend somehow.
  8. i erased it, but it basically is upbeat and states how much she looks forward to see me and catch up. i told my wife, of course, and she is upset i even said that i would go. i understand.
  9. Nc or better yet. I should have handled it better. It is what it is. I'm guessing she is just lonely and guilty and feels that this contact with me will help with her breakup pain she is newly feeling
  10. How do I feel? Well it has impacted me enough to check back in to ena like a clinic. Was I anticipating an email at work this am? Yes. It arrived when I was sitting dwn. I felt a pump of something in my chest I didn't expect. This is a bit scary. I think that after 5 years I still care. That is all it can or will be. I love my wife.
  11. Married as of the end of june. New home too. But you wouldn't believe what happened just last night. I was with my new wife at a nearby bar and I stepped next door to get something to eat when she stayed in bar. I planned to bring it back. Anyway. I'm on my phone writing this btw. T. The ex. Walks up behind me in the grill and surprises me. After telling me congrats on wedding I told her how happy I was and then she started to cry. Evidently her last relationship resulted in her moving out of his place. She said she even stopped drinking. She discussed how he dropped her cause
  12. not so much of a break up as it was my failed attempt to get back with her. i was wrong to do that and when i read these passages, i see how desparate i was and how i just drove her away even more.
  13. im crazy about her... absolutely... and madison is laying right here next to me... now 3.5 years old.
  14. It can happen. it took me a long time, but it can happen. this does not mean that i do not think of her from time to time... "the first cut is the deepest" they say. but jen loves me and we are good together. she loved me from the start. and the middle and now.... the beginning of the start again.
  15. Yes. i just met her family in New Hampshire. Very rewarding.
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