ClareMsUK

hey, i felt the same at 14! and if i'd done it i would have missed out on so much. give yourself time to settle into the adult world, give your hormones time to settle down. i know its hard, but there are people out there that have no hope at the end of the tunnel and you really do! trust me, please just hang in there. PM anytime x

hey that's great you met someone, its even good to have someone else occupy your thoughts even if he lives far away! i'd give anything to get my guy out my head for 5 seconds!! i used to love sleeping because it got me away from thinking about him but now i dream of him every night and its drving me crazy!! like you i have felt this way for 5 months now and its not getting easier. i think i am fine and then like you i hear something about him and it all comes crashing back. i hate it!!!! i'd rather just have him not exist at all in my head. hang in there, there will be more good days to come x

ok, without knowing fully the situation, it sounds to me like he was just being a typical guy. not really wanting to hurt your feelings but at the same time not caring enough to not. its possible also that he is so aware of how good looking you are that this makes him feel intimidated. guys were probably checking you out all day, that you were unaware of but him, being a guy noticed it. guys cannot be discreet about it, ever!! it was disrespectful and id advise him to never do it again in front of, tell him that you are aware that its normal to appreciate beauty but not to ogle. also point out that you do it yourself, let him know that you are not immune to good looks, but you respect him and your relationship enough to be discreet. try and not let this set you back, as you were doing so well. jealousy just eats you up and thats an awful thing, especialy when that group of girls would probably give anything to look like you. find strength from within and then no matter what anyone says or does it cannot affect you. don't look to others to build self esteem they are only good at knocking it. tell him how it made you feel, then leave it at that. if it happens again after that get tough. don't play tit for tat games or anything as this will not solve anything. i hope i have said something to make you feel better, i would have felt the same, but you have to remind yourself that at the end of the day if he's gonna cheat he will do it anyway whether you are jealous or strong, so my best advice is to find inner strength and fight the jealousy, but point out anything that annoys you so he knows where he stands and knows never to do it again. i don't think this means he will cheat i think he was doing what all guys at some point do. good luck x

This is hard for me as i have been accused of flirting before when i don't even fancy the person, in my head i am just being friendly!! (recent example my driving instructor thought i was available as i had been flirty!! i am not the best driver so to cover my nerves i was probably laughing and stuff but not actively flirting!!) So my advice is to not concentrate on others, but to get to know people and discover who you like!! Then once you know who it is you want don't feel the need to jump right in there. be friends, be flirty yourself and without having to rely on complicated signals and playing games you will soon find out if you both feel the same way. yeah it may take longer than just reading signals but in that time you will have built up a friendship and trust etc, all these things being more important than how much you fancy a person. if she's the right person for you, you will just know. have fun and be relaxed instead of trying to decipher body language etc, women don't need to analysed so much just trust your instincts and go with the flow. good luck x

You should talk to your partner about how you feel. don't accuse him or blame him in any way as this will get his back up and then he won't really understand how you feel. you have to explain that this is how you feel, and that you understand your feelings may be heightened by lack of sleep etc but that you are unhappy with the current situation and the two of you will have to come up with a better solution. it could mean you doing less hours, and him getting some hours work. Basically if he respects your feelings he won't question why u are feeling as u do and he will understand. you can't help how u feel and as a loving partner he should take your feelings on board. i must admit id be feeling the same way in your situation. its not jealousy you are feeling, this is more to do with you than this other woman. take her out the equation and you still have the same problem. so don't focus too much on that when talking to your partner but focus on your feelings as a mother and wife and try to compromise. good luck x

hey, you have been through a lot, so stop beating yourself up for feeling things that any human and mother would naturally be feeling at a time like this. your honesty in explaining your own feelings is to be admired not something to be ashamed of! i think you should seek professional help and talk this through with someone, i also would expect your daughter gets help with it also. You have to move on but this will take time, it will also make you more able to judge people in the future and hopefully not repeat past mistakes. i would use therapy as an outlet for your feelings but i'd advise displaying your anger and hurt i front of your daughter. her feelings have to come first in the house, but outside by all means do all the yelling etc that u need to do in order to unleash your anger. i am really not good at this type of thing so i hope u can take something away from what i have said. Be thankful that you did find out, and were able to do the right thing to protect your family. good luck with everything x

sometimes when we feel down in general other things become significant and important, things that normally we can get by with and are not a big deal! its good to sit and ponder over love songs and get your emotions out, everyone does it. talk to your boyfriend tomorrow, guys sometimes find it more difficult than us to talk about feelings though so be gentle, just cos he's not saying the right things doesn't mean he doesn't feel them! emotions are crazy things, hormones and everything can affect them, just bear with it and things will start to feel better. have you seen bridget jones diary? whenever i am crying to sad songs i always think about the bit where she is singing to 'all by myself' and is crying and that makes me laugh! keep your chin up babe x

Hey, a tip is to masterbate before having sex or that day at least, then u should last longer. also at point where u know u are on the way to orgasm pull out or change position and start again, keep doing this and then the orgasm wil be even better! as for her orgasm the best way is to rub her clit, this can be done during sex if u are behind her (very good position) u should be able to tell from her expression and noises if she has orgasm, but ask her to tell u what she likes and stuff, be vocal it adds to the enjoyment! enjoy x

haha, yeah i have often thought about that one!! as for sending her anonymous gifts, i'd prefer it(if i were the girl) that the guy was straight with me! especially if i had children, it shows you are not trying to woo her as such! u know? if u just start talking to her about the weather or the kids a friendship can grow then if you both want something more that will then happen! yeah gifts are nice but sometimes women just want a man! someone who is straight to the point and no BS. but thats probably just me cos im fed up with guys going for my looks and not my fantastic brain haha!

you give such good advice to every one else i have noticed! i know u answered your own question so ill keep this short, i think its fairly normal to mull over or even fantasise about things we know we'd never ever do. thats how we make sense of things in our heads. its important not to let the bad days take control over feelings as they will come and go like any other day. i'd advise you to try and find some inner peace and security that cannot be affected by others. its the only way to get by as at some point people will let u down whether its meant or not. i don't mean shut out people, just find a place inside that u feel safe and happy and go there whenever the outside gets tough! am i making sense at all? if u want me to elaborate or re-word in english just pm me, haha! good luck x

you could try talking to her in the park, to see if you actually get on! she has children though so she will probably and should be wary of new men in her life, so take things slow. even if she is the woman of your dreams (looks and person) then her first priority should be her kids so thereforeeee that would have to become your priority too if things got serious. if however you are not looking at long term then id back off before taking it further. you sound nice though so i hope it works out, just be yourself when u do chat and don't try to be too charming, be relaxed and happy and the conversation will flow, then hopefully that will lead to you being able to ask her out proper. x

hey, i don't mind at all so long as there has been good foreplay before hand that has allowed me to 'feel pleasure'! if a guy goes on too long i find it can get boring but thats probably just me haha!

there are always ways out of things honey, if u lived in scotland id offer you a place to crash! people do care if u let them in, u just have to ask sometimes. there must be a teacher or a friends parents that could help u out for a bit. killing yourself just isn't the option, u have so much more to do with your life, having barely lived at all yet. things get hard for everyone at times but when they do u have to realise things can only get better. let out your feelings on this site that's what it's here for and just ride out this storm for a bit and soon the clouds will pass, i promise you, u just have to keep your chin up. good luck x pm anytime x

hey, i had a friend who was anorexic and bulimic and she died last year aged 23. i don't know about every case but hers had nothing to do with thinkin she looked fat or anything. she had obsessive compulsive disorder and this escalated into her having to control everything even food! it was horrendous to watch, i was her best friend and she hid it so well and if at any time i tried to help she would push me away and just not let me close at all. after she stopped eating, her mind didn't function properly and this made it even more difficult to overcome as it was like a vicious cycle. if i could go back now i don't know what ive have done different. she was sectioned under the mental health act for a year, got therapy and stuff but nothing helped her. basically she didn't want help and i think thats the first step, u really have to want to get better and u have to want to live with all your being. sometimes i get angry with her for leaving us all behind and not caring enough to get better for us but her mind was gone. i wish i could give you more help, the key is to find something that is not scary, i.e her food that was not scary was bread and she would nibble this, its a good first step! but then build up with other things and over time food will not seem scary. usually there are other issues for having an eating disorder, it is nothing to do with food, but the anxiety gets misplaced and becomes all about food, so its important to seek help and understanding of this and not to focus solely on eating, as the two go together whether u realise it in your own mind or not. don't shut people out either, they love you and just want to help. i hope u get better soon, eating is something that u will enjoy again one day if you sort out the other issues in life! pm anytime x

hey, you sound lovely that was a really nice gesture! i'd leave the next move to her though. the ball is in her court! good luck x