laurag78

I don't want to confront him just yet. I'm known to be aliitle paranoid when it comes to these things and we have gotten in huge fights over my jealousy issues and i dont want him to think that I'm doing it again. He's never really given me any reason, but i just have a hard time trusting and I think way too much of anything. He's a great husband a great father we get along really good and he's very affectionate. There is one thing that bothers me though, he's not very sexual. There are times that I think that he's faked cumming. What goes up must come down, right? Well, that's a whole other issue that i'm having. It's humiliating to me and it makes me feel undesirable to him. What do u think? Do alot of men suffer from low sex drives? Do men really fake it at times and if so what are some of the reasons? I appreciate any advice. Thanks, Laura

I found a white stain on his boxers. I don't know what to think. Can in mean only one thing? Question to men, Can there be any other reason for the stain besides sexual reason? Please help! This is driving me crazy today. I know that i can be a little parranoid at times so I need some input. Anyone who can give their 2 cents in, please!

How about when the other girl he is staring at isnt even all that pretty?

It's the way he did it that hurt me the most. The image plays in my mind over and over again. I have trouble looking him in the face, it hurts me. I look at him and i dont see the same person. I dont know maybe i'm just crazy!

Thanks for the advice, but that's just it I didnt see him before as a typical guy, I thought that he was different. Maybe now his true colors are beginning to show and it's scaring me. I'm really trying to feel better and on the surface I look okay, but deep down inside " Im hurting". I admit that i'm a very sentimental person and my emotions get the best of me sometimes and I can't help it!

Hi i'm 25 years old my hubby is 29 and we have been married for 3 years. I find myself very attractive and my self esteem that used to be great has been at it's ultimate low lately.I know that this may seem like nothing to others but this really hurt me. I have had problems with jealousy before and ive been working on it and I was doing really good in controlling it until this past Saturaday. We took the kids to the seaquarium and I had noticed him looking at some younger girls (probably like 16-18 years old) and I paid it no mind, and later again another woman with large breast barely dressed, ok paid it no mind again. Then later after one of the shows as we are leaving, while he's holding my hand we pass by the younger girls that are still sitting in the front row and he turns his head and gives them a stare like as if he wants them to notice that he is looking at them. Mind you he has NEVER acted this way and it has changed the way i see him. If he's doing this in front of my face, imagine what he does when i'm not around. I found this to be very disrespectful towards me and i dont think that i deserved that, I would NEVER disrespect him that way, dont get me wrong if i see a good looking guy, I'll look and say to myself hey that's guys really good looking guy, but i wouldnt go as far as to make it so obvious as to straight out and stare and try and get his attention. Anyhow, I got upset and disconnected for bit because i was really hurt, I looked damn good that day why did he feel the need to do that. I confronted him and told him that i saw him and to let me know if he wanted to be alone since he was acting as if that's what he wanted, at first he stayed quiet and then he started being all nice to me, real nice, he knew he had messed up. Now, I have a reason to feel jealous and it's driving me insane, just when i thought i had overcome it. Everytime i think of what i have been through with him, everything that i have done for him, and that he would do something like this to hurt me. It's opened my eyes, now i see that he's no different than the rest. I KnoW that eyes are made to see and that it's only natural to glance at woman you find attractive, but i think there is a way to do it discreetly, to spare the one you love the pain. I honestly think those girls werent even pretty at all, I dont see the reason and when i asked him WHY? ofcourse i got the "I don't know why I did it". Bull! I just don't know if I can trust him now. Any advice on how to overcome this. Why do you think he felt the need to do this? Does it mean he may possibly want or will cheat? Any advice will be helpful. Everytime i Think about it, I want to cry! Help!

I agree, I don't think that i would be able to forgive. However, i've never been in that position to say for certain. I just know that i could never cheat on my husband, despite any problems we may be having. I think that if you really love some one, you couln't do that to them. If i found out that the person i was with was unfaithful, I think that, that would be it. As much as it would hurt me to go, it's something to me that is unforgivable, especially in my situation with my husband (I waited 2 years faithfully while he was away). If he were to do that to me, I wouldn't be able to forgive. I hope i never have to come to that.

We have similiar problems and maybe you should read my post about it. I know exactly how you are feeliing and we are not the only ones check out some comments from other women feeling the same thing: · "I felt like I was begging , really begging for him to touch me, show me some affection...I just felt like such a loser, such a chump." · "I feel rejected and not accepted by my husband, and, as someone else said, 'unattractive, unloved, uncared for..' etc." · "It's difficult to be married to a wonderful guy whom I love and respect, yet he has little interest in intimacy. We've slept apart for 15 of our 16 year marriage, with occasional sex. We get along well, share similar interests, rarely argue. But in the bedroom, the deep sadness I feel has become more than I can bare. Everyone thinks we're the perfect couple, and it's all a sham. I've had several deep heart to heart talks with him about my needs, only to have a loving, polite "we'll work on this" response, and no change in the relationship at all. Being lovingly ignored is agony, there is no place to release my frustration. I have finally accepted the fact that my husband and I are just wired differently. It doesn't mean he is a bad person, it doesn't mean he doesn't love me. It just means he shows love differently and has different needs than I do. Having said that, it also doesn't mean I can live like this for another 15 years. That's where the sadness comes in. I don't want to leave him and give up the life we've built together, but this is a big part of life, and not having it is a big price to pay." · "It's such an embarrassing , humiliating experience." · "For so many years, I thought it was my fault that my husband wasn't as interested in intimacy as I am. Maybe I wasn't pretty enough or sexy enough. Maybe I wasn't a good wife. So I tried and worked to perfect being the ideal wife. My self esteem got lower and lower, but I kept myself busy building my business. Two years ago, there was nothing left to sink myself into...In this last 2 years I've had to face my sadness and depression about it all. Some people call it a mid-life crisis, I call it a reality check. I even went into counseling for a couple of months. I was still trying to fix ME, I thought it was MY problem." · "The rejection is the worst part. Or is it the kindness that's the worst part? Sometimes I wish he would do something that I could be angry about, other than the hurt of rejection. It's the niceness, the politeness, the honest love my husband shows that makes this so difficult. When he does wonderful things it makes me feel guilty for wanting more." · "My husband would be totally happy if I never came to him for sex and he doesn't like to talk about how much it bothers me. He just says he is sorry! I love my husband very much and I feel that if the shoe were on the other foot I would do what ever it took to make things right between us. I would never want him to feel the way I do right now. I feel if he truly cared about my feelings, he would help work this out because it really hurts when he turns me away!" · "Most men don't want to admit they have a problem. I think either they have it in them or they don't. You can scream blue murder or swing from the chandelier, when his libido is gone, it's gone. But I guess one has to go on trying before taking any drastic steps." · "When i express my love in the way I want to, I begin to feel empty and rejected after a while. When I notice that no love is coming back to me sadness, confusion, and rejection set in, then a deep dark desolate loneliness. I got to where i just couldn't tolerate the pain any more. Worse was the realization that I guess it wasn't so great for him or he'd do it more, or he didn't really love me, or I was too fat, too skinny, not pretty enough, smelled bad, looked bad. Something must be wrong with me. In other words, I would begin to not like me, to feel something was wrong with me. But there isn't anything wrong with me. I know that. Being with him was causing me to not like myself. When I realized that, I had to decide if it was worth it. " · "It's a big part of life to be missing. I am facing the fact of our differences, but it's so sad, so very very sad, because I love him so much, and I know he loves me too. I know he does, but I just can't live that way. It hurts too much. It's too sad. It began to just spill out and poison other parts of our really good relationship. Now there is almost nothing left. I feel nothing. But I still love me. I still have me." · "I also wanted to bring up the emotional strain of being the 'sex driven' partner. Even if the problem is medical or hormonal or whatever else, you still get a feeling of self doubt and insecurities like why don't they find me attracive any more etc. These can eat away at you and your relationship big time!" Reading this made me cry,my intentions were not to make you cry or anything like that, just so that you can see that you are not alone. It really may help to talk to him about it, i think if some 1 really loves you and they know that they are hurting you, they will try to work it out somehow. Me and my husband had a deep discussion the other night and i feel as though he is really trying to work this out. I can't give you a solution, since i am still searching for one myself, but if it makes you feel better, you are not the only one. Good luck to ya

Thanks all, for your advice. Nenez, I will try that approach, lets see how that goes. I'd do anything to make this right. Great advice. Thanks BobBurton, I couldn't flirt with anyone else, to me that would be wrong and disrespectful, however i could try wearing clothes that will maybe make him notice me more. Thanks for the advice. WoopsyDaisy, I don't think that he is suffering from depression and we spend alot of time together. When we are not at work, we are together. Thanks for your reply. Another thing i forgot to add on the post is that we were apart (physically not emotionally) 2years. right after the baby was born. Legal issues. So imagine i would think that after 2 years of no intimate relations, that he would want to be intimate.

This is my second post on the subject, but i haven't been able to understand why my husband has NO interest in SEX! Let me explain I have been married for 3 years now and my husband has no interest in sex. He is otherwise very affectionate and loves to cuddle. After the first couple of months that we were together sex became more and more less frequent, i was pregnant and he blamed it on that, then other problems we were having, so i tried to be understanding and dealt with it. However things now seem to be getting better for us financially and less stressfull and im obviously not pregnant anymore. It seems that i always have to initiate sex and most of the time i get "i'm tired" "in the morning". "Do u think i feel sexy in the morning with my bed head and morning breath" not really. When he does give in it feels like he's only doing it so that i won't be angry, what i call "pitty sex", which i don't enjoy. Just last night he initiated sex (it's been a week 1/2 since the last time). I started by going down on him and he wouldn't get an erection, i got so upset that i started to cry, and he said that he had no idea what was wrong with him. I asked him what was the matter, why he didn't want me. He said that he did want me and that he didn't know what was wrong that he love me so much and that he wanted to try sex again, hesitatently i said yes and he had no problem getting an erection this time. So, what the hell was wrong the first time????? You have no idea what this has done to my once high self esteem. It's to the floor. What is going on? We have a really good relationship minus the sex. What do you guys think can be the problem. I am willing to do anything to get that passion we once had back. I've tried watching dirty movies with him, no change, ive tried initiating outside of the usual bedroom, rejected. What else can i do? Please help i'm stuck!

I'm glad to hear that things are better. Hope that everything works out. Good Luck! P.S. CONGRATULATIONS on your new house!

I really think that you should leave it alone. Be happy for what you guys have together. You are just fueling a fire, by bringing that up. He is with you and he's been with you for 4 years. He's not with the ex. You should really just let it go. You know what it is, you think to much. Stop thinking of what did or did not happen, think about now and how much you love eachother. Focus on that and everything will be fine. Good Luck!

Some discharge is normal and it happens to the best of us, especially right before menstruation. It could be that she wanted to wash up because she was embarrassed. It's not something that we want to share with the world. Have you noticed this before? It could be the Yeast infection, which is way more than the usual discharge. Or it could be what you thought. I guess that you will have to keep your ears and eyes open. If something is going on, you will find out eventually. For now, just give her the benefit of the doubt. Hope that helps. Good Luck!

Two words "Move On"!

I totally agree. You should talk to him and tell him what you heard and let him straighten it out with her. Don't go around him and talk to her, that will just make things worse. Good Luck!