goddess23

hey its totally possible that you two can last through it all. there are always some exceptions, but realisticially looking at your age, when you dont see that person pretty often that elation will die down. unfortunately after summer vacation my bf became confused about his feelings, but everybody is different. your feelings might change and hers might not, or vice versa. its great if you guys can stay together and it is a possibility, but there are some major obstacles, see how it goes, obviously you have no choice but be prepared for what might happen. the next IM could be we need to talk...maybe its just going to make it stronger and end up being a marraige made in heaven. take a look at my signature...that might help lol. bye

ya i agree that things are changing. but about how guys fall harder, i think its the opposite, actually i think gender actually has nothing to do with that...more the individual. i know that there are girls that are the dumpee, it just seems as if its so uncommon i feel as if its an insult. anyways, go on everyone lol.

hey, WOW U JUST GAVE THE EXACT SITUATION I WAS IN WITH MY EX. he asked me out, but when it came to making a move he was super shy. honestly it will take TIME, just think it took me n my ex 2 months just to have our first kiss. after time he will not be so shy trust me, but it will take time. for me, when we would talk about it, i would let him know exactly what my limits were at the time and what not, part of our converstaion would be about thigns like that. so talk about it, and give as many subtle hints as possible in your actions as well, time will help him with his shyness, trust me ive been through it lol.

hey everyone. okay this is a weird post its just something that ive noticed and its been on my mind. i notice on this forum, its always guys saying how their gfs broke up with them and they need new ways to impress their gf, i dont know just stuff. guys are always trying to be sweet or are always at the negative end of the relationship. i dont mean NEGATIVE, just like the guy is the one who is always hurt. and it makes me feel as if theres something wrong with me because the two guys ive liked im the one who got her heart broken. i may have broken a few hearts as well, but ive only been in one relationship and i didnt get that kind of attention. i dont feel its necessary, and it just makes me feel as if maybe i should be expecting a guy to be like this. trying to impress their girl. like today for example, this couple who lets just say i dont respect, theres just some serious issues. but today was their 9 month anniversary so the guy who is my age dressed up in a suit and everything to school because his gf has mentioned that he never dresses up for her. i dont know, i think this is insane, am i just not "needy" enough, is it weird if the girl is the one who is hurt? i look at posts and its always the guys trying, i dont know...any comments are just welcome lol. thanks bye.

hey im sorry to hear about your situation because im in a similar one with my first ex. its so difficult, he went on vacation came back confused. at this point we're friends talk a lot, still attracted to one antoher but he isnt ready for the relationship we had which was intense. im going through it first hand, and all i can tell you is that just pretend you dont REALLY CARE in the relationship becoming romantic again. show that you care about her as your friend and all but try not to bring up the relationship. you guys have talked about it, and she gave her answer, you know right now it just wouldnt work so leave it at that. let time pass, there will come a point where you may just not be able to take it anymore, and maybe you will need to tell her that you cant just be left hanging like this, and you need an answer. maybe you two will realize that you guys are just better off as friends, who knows. i think right now you should just play it cool, explore new possibilities, take some time for YOURSELF, and find out what want. as well as let her do the same while still upholding the friendship if possible. i know how hard this is, and i know what a complicated situation it is...but time is the only thing that will give both of us any answers. because in this situation we just have to go with the flow and realize that whatever is meant to be will happen. good luck!

hey at least you have a good way of thinking. i know its hard im just over the month of the breakup with my first bf. its pure torture...but just like you i know its not the end of the world...you know its not, and im very happy that you can understand it. i was wondering thought wat exactly the "stages" are of a breakup. i was new at the relationship thing and unfortunately im new at the breakup thing.

hey thanks for the reply. honestly im coming to terms with it being over in that sense...but honestly i can handle the friendship. i know it sounds weird but im happier that way. we did talk though...we both said taht we miss the time we spent together...so we have been spending more time together just talking and chilling. but i do admit it does complicate it...sometimes there are moments when you feel as if its just the same...like you're going out and this is the cue to kiss. but overall im happier with the friendship. its hard to explain but he was really one of the only people in my school that i can truly trust and he is a good person who i just enjoy spending time with...not just the making out. but i will keep in mind that if later i feel as if its making me feel like im just all into it all over again then i will come back and vent and get your answer again and try to follow through lol. for now the frienship is working with a few tough moments...so i do agree with you...we talked about how hes feeling right now and he finally gave me an answer that he doesnt want a relationship right now. so that helps me, because i need to know ok its over, and done, and then i can "mentally prepare" myself for moving on. any more comments or advice on this is welcome and i thank you for your advice, i know that the best advice comes from ppl who have been in the same shoes.

hey everyone thanks for the replies. the thing is, i know its not the end and i know i will meet someone later but whats depressing is probably not until university b/c the guy i was with was the only guy i liked in a LONG TIME. ive only liked 2 ppl in my life....and this guy was my first bf, first kiss, first dance! lol...there are so many memories...and most of the time im arite, but i find myself sometimes just bursting into tears in the privacy of my room...and i just cant stop. when we talk he always touches me and holds me like he knows im hurting. but thanks for all the advice...i guess the first can be the hardest sometimes. i would love to hear some stories about your firsts...and how you dealt with it, how you felt.

well honestly my bf and i recently broke up and i just wnat the friendship because he was an amzing person. its just so awkward...you need to let him know STRAIGHT up that you just want a friendship, make it clear that you do not want a romantic relationship but that you really like him as a person and would really value the friendship. he may not be able to be just your friend...and thats something you're going to have to accept. but you can try to make it clear how you're feeling and see what happens.

my ex was my first everything. and its just tough for me to get over him...everytime i think of how close we were and how great things were, i just want to burst into tears. i know its not the end of the world its just i KNOW theres no one else in my school that i am or will be interested in. its kind of depressing, i miss liking someone, i miss what we had...i dont know what to do...i love him. and i know theres no one else at least in my environment right now that im going to like. its just i miss the excitement of just liking someone, not even dealing. im so ready for a relationship...and my ex just wasnt ready. basically im wondering...how do you get over your first...what was your first breakup like? does it get any easier? is there anything i can do to make it easier on myself? do i give up on love since i know that theres no one i will really like. dont get my hopes up and just wait until a new chapter of my life begins? i know its weird but any comments would really help me...im just feeling down.

a few more details would help. but if this is the first time this has happened then i wouldnt worry TOO MUCH. stress is a big factor for me, im like a clock only under SEVERE stress i come late...so maybe for you it will come early. as well if you have engaged in any new sexual activity, im not sure if it has to be intercourse but maybe just heavy petting and stuff can somewhat change your cycle. so a few details, think about whats going on in your life right now, but again if this happens again or if this has been going on for awhile then i would get it checked out.

i would go with a week before or whenver they start selling tickets. btw...about your original question...it wasnt too long ago that i was in the eight grade and what we like about a guy...well it does depend on the girl. but generally speaking the attraction is the main thing...which does incorporate looks but its only part of it. and what her friends think about you does play quite a role at that age....um...and a guy that is mature, because i remember eighth grade and the guys at that time were REALLLLY IMMATURE...so a guy thats somewhat mature which just means you give her respect stand up for her, thatll prove alot.

hey...i know how hard it is. me n my bf broke up just over a month ago. and it is so hard. but all i can do is remember that it was good while it lasted, something better is waiting for me, he will always be special to me, but just like before hes not MY LIFE, he was part of it. i have to realize that 9 months of bliss is over, and now its time to focus on myself, on school. honestly i truly dont know how you can get used to the misery. i mean truly accept it. everytime i start thinking what we were and what we are now, it just makes me want to burst into tears. so getting my mind off it, dont think of what could be or would be because everything happens for a reason. he was brought into your life for a reason, and it ended because there is something more waiting for you. its so hard to know hes moving on...but it just makes you know its time for you to, for me to...at least we know where we stand. trust me im going through it first hand. i know i will always love him, i know i will never forget him, i know i will think back about him many times to remember my first kiss...gawd im crying right now...and at least i can know he changed me somehow for the better. and im sure your ex did the same. try and realize that your life isnt over, and although its so hard to watch him...so close yet so far, at least you can try and keep a friendship. and if you dont want that, once you start getting wrapped up in your own busy life, something new will come. sorry im rambling...but its just i really know how you feel...try and not worry about it.

um...2 nights ago...i was walking and some guy called out of a car saying "hey girl, why are you so beautiful?". ya...but alot of my friends tell me that...and that always means more because you know they consider the outside AND the inside. and i will admit it is a nice feeling.

hey everyone. well...maybe some of you have seen my story...one month ago me and my bf of 9 months broke up. basically things were PERFECT, he went on vacation, came back confused. i was heartbroken. our breakup was holding hands and hugging. since we broke up we talk alll the time online...lately its slowed down because i havnt been online, been busy. but about...a week and a half ago, he told me how hes still attracted to me, still likes me but hes scared that if we got back together he would lose his feeligns again and he doesnt want to hurt me again and go through another breakup (he claims it was hard on him too). but in school we barely talk, just hi and bye, maybe a LITTLE more, but he goes home right after school anyways, and other then that what time is there. its so hard, its like i dont want us to be like two aquaintences after everything. and its so confusing to deciphor how he feels as well. should i ask him about it? should i pretend i dont care? what should i do?? pleeeaseee help, im so confused and not sure what i should do. i know i still love him, but i dont know what to do. should i go up to him in school and talk more...should i ask him straight up about our conversation a little while ago? just any comments and or advice are very much needed.

well ofcourse im going to try my best to make sure he doesnt catch me but even if he does if i really like him i wont be able to help stop staring. ill still do the same thing, maybe just even MORE CAREFULLY. what about you guys, what do you do when you like a girl??

i like it...i mean if your cuddling with a guy you like its a gr8 feeling to know you can turn him on. it makes me even more turned on. at first its kinda weird like woah...but its a good thing lol.

hey. i really can somewhat connect with you because im going through something very similar, not exactly the same but ya. but the way hes acting, he seems to really just not want to deal with you. in the sense that he really has lost the feelings he has for you. i think you need to start showing him that you're moving on even if thats not the case. see how he reacts...then he will really know how he feels. its just a little to much the way hes going on...try and do waht i told you, i know its hard but try your best. maybe you can help me with mine. same idea...thigns were going AMAZING, we had just started getting more intimate, not sex but a lil further. he went on vacation for a month came back confused about how he feels. said he needs time. we talk online all the time, he msgs me, stuff like that, talk about everything. i asked him if he has gotten any answers he says no, and then a couple nights ago we were talking and hes like the only reason hes not dating me right now is because hes scared he'll lose his feelings again and we'll have to go through a breakup which he doesnt want to go through. like where does that leave me. i feel as if i shouldnt pester him about it, but it just leaves me kind of waiting for him. should i ask him about it? should i just play it out pretend i forgot and give him more time?

when i was grade 10--A GIRL, i went out with a REALLLLY CUTE gr 9 guy...and it was great...it just ended after 9 months, both of us our first relationship. guys go out with younger girls allll the time, if the opposite can happen, theres a gooood chance with your situation happening. there are some obstacles with dating someone that is a different age than you especially right now...but generally speaking i say 2 grades is okay right now. and he could totally be interested...just try flirting now!!

nair products can be AMAZING for some people in some areas, but for some it can burn your skin seriously. like i was using it at first (like when i first started having to care about hair removal) and it was going great. and then one day it caused this burning sensation under the arm and left a red scarry thing for like 2 weeks. now i use the one for right above the lip, sometimes its gr8 other times it causes the skin above the lip to be sore and dry for a day or two. so do a patch test first.

hey im sorry to kind of ask for help here but i need the other side of my current situation. my bf sort of did the same thing to me--not sure how he feels, needs time. it was almost a month ago...and a couple of nights ago he told me how basically the reason he doesnt want to deal with me again is because hes afraid taht he'll lose those feeligns again and we'll have to go through this whole breakup again which ofcourse is tough. so im just wondering, what does this mean, as a guy, honest opinion, is there hope?? does it seem like we should give it another try? i love him, i know that, but hes "confused"...i dont know what to think. thanks. btw...i think your gf just wants to seem like she can survive without you...which is true but i think she just wants to let you know she is still desirable to other ppl or whatever. as well since what happened with my bf, my feelings have somewhat changed and i needed time to think myself, so it seems like you two are going to be arite.

hey. wow its just like me n my recent ex. loved eachother but the phone just SUCKED. honestly that was one of his flaws, i didnt like that about him, i know he isnt THE ONE, because i need someone who i can just talk to for hours and just be so into it...honestly im not saying breakup or anything but it should be something you think about. but about getting her to talk...theres no real way...you guys are dealing, if the comfort level isnt there yet i dont know when its suppose to show up. try using other forms of communication, email, IM, maybe the conversations are better, they were much better for us (i think the phone was hard b/c of him scared of his rents hearing). so try other ways...that might help. try asking her questions, random conversational questions or deep WATEVER, she might end up getting the idea. good luck with that, because for me it became very annoying.

hey wow...im sorry...i know how confused and hurt you're feeling right now. im in a similar situation...but not the sex part...like getting more intimate was a step and now its like we talk sometimes in school and stuff but its not the same. he says the only reason hes not dating me now is cuz hes afraid that he might lose his feeligns again and he doesnt want to go through a breakup so where does that leave me? honestly...i dont know your age, but i think he did love you, but obviously he didnt know himself well enough to really know how he feels about another person. although it seems the relationship has been going sour for awhile, so during that time he was sort of moving on already. im sure it hurts to see him going after another girl, but i think you should just TRYYYY and remember he did love you, you loved him, the memories were gr8 but now its clear its time to move on. honestly though just talk to him. me n my ex, almost every night we've talked for over an hour about all kinds of stuff including our relationship and its given me SOME clarity. its hard, i right now feel as if it ended because of the fact we started getting more serious...same thing first bf/gf, and i know how hard it is. he said he loved me and now i feel as if every word was a lie. but ive come to realize that its not like that...hes just still in a place where he doesnt know what love REALLY is, to him it was love, and maybe it was, but its just not the way we look at love. try to keep your head up...i will try to keep mine up. good luk...i dont think he used you for sex, he wouldnt have waited 2/5 years lol, honestly. but sex does change everything and it couldve made him realize that this is a big step and maybe he himself isnt ready to get so serious. as in, for you sex is a big deal, so you would become much more involved in the relationship, maybe he isnt ready for THAT MUCH OF A COMMITMENT and responsibility.

um...ya that definitely indicates a problem. it seems shes losing interest. unless you know that there are legitimate reasons for the two of you to be really busy or something but lack of intimacy means losing interest in the RELATIONSHIP. she may still care, but maybe it is best if you two take a break to figure thigns out. ofcourse talk to her again and really ask her about this.

sounds good! you could always officially tell her that you're interested in her and was wondering if she wanted to something with you without the group. but ya, doing something different where the two of you alone is a good giveaway unless you two are really tight as friends. if you guys are, then i would definitely suggest telling her how you feel straight up. (actually you guys are lucky, you can be subtle, we analyse EVERYTHING) lol. take her hand or REALLLY FLIRT, anything!