Dudeguy15

Yeah. I'm 16 and I'm a sophomore.

Okay. FIrst off, I want to say that I've never liked a guy in my life in a way besides friendship. I have had crushes on girls since I can remember. Lateley however, I have discovered that looking at gay porn turns me on. I don't understand why. I like a girl right now, and I'm always taking different routes to classes just so I can walk past her, I'm always staring at her, I'm always thinking about her, and worrying about what she thinks about me. Since I have found out that I am turned on by gay porn, I have been very confused. Is this very common? Is it just a stage? Is it a sign that I am gay?

I stare a whole lot... almost to the point of being creepy... then I always go out of my way just to be able to see her, like taking a different route to get to my classes. I'm also usually shy around them in fear of revealing something about my personality that she may not like.

I've had a lot of alone time, and I've been thinking about life. It seems like the purpose of life is to tease us, by giving something so enjoyable, but then we are always stripped of this thing we love so much eventually. Knowing that I am going to die in the next hundred years seems so depressiong. I also feel like getting a job is stupid. Its as if we work and work all our life, until we are too old to get out and have fun. I have been thinking that I would rather live on the streets and not have to worry about morgage, tax, and bills. Everyone has been asking why I am so sad lately, but I never want to talk about it in fear of my thoughts making their life depressing also. I need someone to help me realize why I choose to live, just to die later.

I absolutely cannot stand girls that have no intellectual side. I like a girl that's into music. Breast size or the shape of her butt doesn't really matter to me either, I'm more of a "legs man" I think.

I'm not sure, but I seem to be afraid of just about anything I have no control over, such as my sexual orientation, war, apocolypse.... I shift from fear to fear, and currently, I'm afraid of being "gay."

I think I would stop them, but I don't know if thats because I'm not letting myself be gay. I think I'm just overanalyzing everything.

The idea of ME having sex with a guy makes me feel uncomfertable, but when I think of OTHER guys having sex with eachother, sometimes it arouses me. Maybe I'm just curious.

Staring, being nervous, etc.

Scientific studies show that when a woman/man sees an attractive member of the opposite sex, their pupils tend to dilate. It may be hard to tell, but if its possible, check and see if her pupils are growing.

I've also been researching "reparative therapy"

Ok. I'm going to make this easier, and just rephrase it. *I've never had a crush on a guy. *I've had crushes on many girls. *I've dated girls. *I've kissed a girl, and I was very aroused by it. But the only problem is, I LIKE TO "PLEASURE" MYSELF TO GAY PORN! I just don't get it.....

I have the same problem. Its confusing. Check out my thread called "Can't decide."

Well the thing i don't understand is that I've always had cruses on women, ever since i can remember. I remember in preschool, I got in trouble for kissing another little girl. I've always liked girls, but now all the sudden that I've found out that gay porn arouses me, I am started to wonder.

I'm just worried that it's an early sign.