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kate111

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Everything posted by kate111

  1. kate111
    Hmmm. Sounds like he can't commit to you but likes having you around. Are you happy to be his friend? If so then I would be nice to him and see him occasionally. If it is hurting you I would suggest being cordial to him at work but nothing more. If he looks at you with puppy eyes don't give in. Ignore it. Be happy and positive but say you don't want to see him. I'd go for the second option personally.
  2. kate111
    I don't find them that bad at all. The first one is a bit ainful because the roots of the hairs are deeper but over time it gets less painful as the hairs are less entrenched.
  3. kate111
    When the ex dumps you in a horrible manner are you entitled to get angry at them? Or be assertive about your own needs financially? Or is it better to shoulder all the financial stuff yourself, do no contact cut them off like a rabies infested limb? Mine dumped me at a very bad time and has left me with a bit of a financial burden (I need to find a new place to live, pay rent, find new job) which he seems to be happy to leave me in. I'm tossing up whether I should "take him to the cleaners" or whether I should try to do no contact and just deal with it all myself. Thoughts? Regrets?
  4. kate111
    Ouch! Yeah that could be true. Sounds like someone I know.
  5. kate111
    Does it matter if the ex KNOWS that your usual break up method or dealing with someone you are annoyed with is to ignore them? Also, I'm starting to see the things my ex would have been annoyed at me about, that I didn't dress up enough, didn't go to the gym enough, wasn't happy with work, drunk too much etc etc. Do you have to change all those things during no contact? Or do you rediscover yourself?(which probably means doing the opposite of what they would like).
  6. kate111
    Interesting. I've read your story and it seems you broke up in similar circumstances to me, and you a similar type of temperament to me. Sounds like he thinks enough time has gone by for you to be friends. He's trying to fish for what is happening with you. I wouldn't give him the ego boost of knowing you still care. I'd probably ignore his email, but perhaps I am not up to your level of healing yet.
  7. kate111
    Don't talk about her to anybody but a few trusted friends. You have to try to erase her from your life. If she comes back she comes back, but don't plan your life around it. I should take my own advice.
  8. kate111
    Oh right. That must have been life changing for you. This happened 3 weeks ago or so.
  9. kate111
    Oh wow. He never came back. After 10 years? Do you know what happened to him? Mine has done a similar thing except it was 3 and a bit years. We lived together though.
  10. kate111
    Very true.
  11. kate111
    Sounds like she didn't know what she wanted to me. You don't want someone like that. you want someone who loves yoou and only you.
  12. kate111
    10 years. That's hard.
  13. kate111
    Well done HJC. Not sure I could have handled things so well.
  14. kate111
    Day 23 probably need to email the ex about financial matters. I must be a strange person because I actually dread contact. I don't crave it because I know that it will hurt me.
  15. kate111
    The ex who said it to me hadn't been in a serious relationship for years. His point was that he was not able to fall in love until he had healed. It is apparently a sign of being healed that yoou can love another. You can't love again until then. in relation to your ex transferring attention, perhaps she never really loved, or else she had gotten "over" the relationship (and thus healed) before she called it quits formally. Sad but true.
  16. kate111
    Yes I think Caro is right. Also you stop seeing the person in love and hate terms. You stop thinking about it as other things in life seem to become important. I think the other persoon apologising properly or explaining things properly, in time, when you aren't hurting, could help.
  17. kate111
    I spoke to an ex recently and he said yoou know you have moved on when you fall in love with another. Perhaps that is when yoou forgive as well. I know with my exex I didn't properly forgive him for more than a year. Even now I don't trust him. I wouldn't get too close to him again.
  18. kate111
    Argh. I feel I can relate to this problem.
  19. kate111
    Donster you are helping me as well. I didn't have an open relationship with the ex but I allowed him to indulge in excess porn, which was fine in the beginning but towards the end, whether it was a symptom of his changed attitude or a cause, he had changed into someone who wanted to screw random women, oggle their bodies and search for meaning in his life that way. It's sad. Perhaps he is too young. Perhaps your guy was too. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. All we can do is watch for these signs in future I suppose. Personally I think I shall be wiser about these things, now that my heart has truly been broken.
  20. kate111

    Help

    kate111 replied to Radiohead's topic in Breaking Up Advice

    I wonder what she says to the guy she is seeing. I think if she is saying she would rather be with you than him, and whilst you were going out she was interested in other ppeople, then she can't commit to one person.
  21. kate111
    I'm afraid of being one of those people who don't get over their ex. That someone I love just as much won't come along. That I will never love as hard or faithfully again.
  22. kate111
    Somebody you think is "better" then. I know I loved this ex more than last ex for instance and we much more compatible. I thought he was the end of the road actually, and that we would always be together. But am wondering if in time I will realise that he wasn't quite right and my new partner will seem even better.
  23. kate111
    ^ hmm. Yes that makes sense. Also, when I broke up with an ex about 5 years ago, he was heartbroken. But he says that in retrospect he is glad it happened because it made him a better person. He also said he saw me flounder around after we broke up, going out with people he thought were not my equal. He said he had to examine his life and make it better, whilst I just repeated the same mistakes. I still love this guy. I don't want to get back with him, but he has always been someone I respected and have alot of time for. So does this mean that sometimes the dumped ARE better off than dumpers in the long term sometimes?
  24. kate111
    A few people have mentioned to me that when they have been dumped, they end up finding someone better anyway. The theory is that you rediscover yourself, develop yourself as a person and learn a whole heap about yourself from the break up. Then when yoou look back yoou realise that the new partner is way better than the old one. Not sure whether this is a myth to make people feel better, whether it is objectively true (ie you really change for the better) or whether it is a matter of perception. What do you think?
  25. kate111
    It may have been the worst day of my life as well. You hear it in all the movies, books etc that a broken heart is the worst, but you never really know until it happens to you just how bad it really is.
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