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kate111

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Everything posted by kate111

  1. kate111
    I totally agree with this. You seem like a very respectful person. I have decided that if someone dumps you with no explanation they must either: 1. Not care about you at all; 2. Be trying to get away from you; 3. Be with someone else. I can't think of any other possible reasons? Tell me if you think there could be some others. If someone has doen that to you, why bother giving them respect back. You owe them nothing. If someone chucked an egg at you would you smile and say "hello" to them? No. So if someone has shown you obvious disrespect by not even telling you proper reasons, then stuff it. Just do no contact. Oh thought of another reason: they are a little bit selfish and a little bit of a coward.
  2. kate111
    My exex whose heart I broke told me that he was glad we broke up as it forced him to become a better person. He said everyone should be miserably dumped once in their lives so they can feel proper empathy. I am going to celebrate the aspects to my life that I stifled during the relationship. Read books, learn what I like doing, meet new people, take risks, and try to enjoy life. For the first time in my life I am going to try to nurture myself and start growing as an individual BEFORE I jump into a new relationship to fill the void. I'm planning to have a love affair with myself.
  3. kate111
    This is exactly what I shall do. I hope.
  4. kate111
    Yes exactly.
  5. kate111
    I suppose the best thing IS to be selfish. But unfortunately this is hard when you have been thinking of another person for so long.
  6. kate111
    Yes true. Also I owe him nothing anymore. He definitely didn't respect me in the way he broke up with me so stuff him. He can think what he likes about me. If he chooses to wipe his hands and not think about me- well then it's his loss. If he thinks I am incapable of change and he is "done" with me then he has underestimated me. If he is too cowardly to face me ever again then that reflects on him not me.
  7. kate111
    I am letting go and leaving him. I'm trying to at least.
  8. kate111
    I'd tell them that if they want to increase their chances of getting them back to ignore them and go out with other men to get some perspective on the relationship. I'd tell them that exes have this uncanny knack of calling you when you have met someone else that you find interesting. and that in the end it is the other person who broke it off so there is nothing you can do apart from live your life without them. If they never contact you again then they probably aren't worth it.
  9. kate111
    Yes I do feel like that. I was committed to him.
  10. kate111
    Hmmm. What would I would tell them? Probably tell them not to contact the other person to give the person a chance to miss them. I'd tell them that if this person left them high and dry at such a point in their life that they are not worth fighting for. I'd tell them to get revenge by being successful. Not sure what else I'd say.
  11. kate111
    Interesting. Yes what you are saying is right. I do repress feelings, they resurface as obsessions I think. You think my feelings on this indicate a fear of failure and being alone eh? Anything else they indicate?
  12. kate111
    Noooooooo! Taking my own advice! It's easier to give it out as you can see the situation more objectively. When it is happening to you it is harder to see things clearly.
  13. kate111
    I hope so.
  14. kate111
    Maybe fear holds me back. Passivity. I really hope you are right about the confidence/ independence thing.
  15. kate111
    It has already been over a month. How long should I wait?
  16. kate111
    1. So I can feel I have tried to understand him. So that people I see out and about don't think I am angry or hurt. So that he isn't driven further away from me. 2. I will be ok in the sense that I wont kill myself, but yeah it may hurt. 3. Shows I am mature, shows I am in control of my emotions and am reasonable. Also shows that I can accept and deal with reality and am not running away. Shows that I truly love him even though he may be rejecting me. 4. I would hope that he will gain a new respect for me because I understand him. He will feel closer to me. I would hope he would be surprised by how easily I dealt with this and perhaps that will make him love me more. 5. What I REALLY wish is to tell him how much he has hurt me and ask the REAL reasons for break up. But I know that is a bad idea. What do you think of those reasons?
  17. kate111
    So does this mean I am in a state of arrested development or what?
  18. kate111
    So I shouldn't respond to his email then?
  19. kate111
    Yes you are right. Thanks for making me feel better.
  20. kate111
  21. kate111
    Hmmm. It's all just so depressing. Will I really get over this? So maybe I should just write back to him saying something acknowledging he has written to me.
  22. kate111
    How relevant is guilt to whether an ex will come back? What happens if you alleviate guilt? Or is it better to let them stew?
  23. kate111
    Both, but either is fine.
  24. kate111
    But if you say you will definitely reconcile isn't that making things a bit too easy for them?
  25. kate111
    Yeah but what if they email you to try to explain their reasons? Some books say that by being defensive (ie not replying) you are not listening to them and they will feel that you don't listen to them or understand them. Then they feel justified in breaking up with you.
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