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kate111

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Everything posted by kate111

  1. kate111
    Wow he didn't even admit what he did with that other wman was wrong. He sounds like a horrible person.
  2. kate111
    There is not many is there. But thought we could be putting together a list. 1. The weight is just falling off (no diet necessary- instant lack of appetite); 2. Colours seem more vivid and songs deeper; 3. Reflection on life is necessary to make new life.
  3. kate111
    What did you text? In what context? Hard to say?
  4. kate111
    19 days. Is that good?
  5. kate111
    I reckon nobody is too intimidated to go out with someone. It is an excuse. He is trying to tell you that there is a quality in you he doesn't like, but he is trying to say it in a nice way. I know it is hard to accept. But you wanted an honest opinion.
  6. kate111
    Argh 8 years. You poor thing. Have you got a break up buddy you can moan to? Family? Otherwise I would write it all down in a journal. I agree the book "It's a Breakup Because its Broken" helps. See a psychologist as well. Also I'm finding reading a good escape. Especially books featuring break ups.
  7. kate111
    Wow! That's great. True revenge. I hope this happens to me.
  8. kate111
    I hope so. I feel so alone. I mean I have people all around me, but still, I miss him. So the vilification by the dumper thing is why we should act decently and not irrationally in a break up? They'll probably find something to complain about anyway.
  9. kate111
    I know how you feel. I just read something on the internet where someone expressed the view that the dumper feels guilt so tries to vilify the dumpee so that he/she can feel justified in dumping them. It said that they also have built up resentents about you that they need to express so will often talk negatively about you.
  10. kate111
    Life is cruel.
  11. kate111
    almost 3 weeks.
  12. kate111
    Terrible. I feel a hole.
  13. kate111
    My ex must feel guilty at some level. I don't know if he justifies what he has done to himself or not. But he is avoiding me, certain people etc. He is running away. How will this impact on him in the long run?
  14. kate111
    This blaing yoourself thing is kind of a stage. I went through it too and probably will again. It's a rollercoaster. You go from blaming them to blaming yurself, to sadness, to hate, who knows what is next. I suppose this is why no contact is the best. To get your emotions in check. Tell yourself you will evaluate it and come to a decision in 2 months. That is what I am doing. At the end of the day though, she called it off. She wasn't willing to commit. All relationships take wrk. They all have ups and downs. Nobody is perfect all the time. The thing is the ex was not willing to put the work in, or willing to try to actively fix things. She was happy to abandon things. You have to try to think of this as her lss and try to get revenge in the best way. By getting up and moving on. Changing your life for the better and showing her you don't care. Cripes, I should take my own advice. Easy enough to give it out.
  15. kate111
    You should go on the date Sandyv.
  16. kate111
    Forget him. It is only the beginning of things and he is no longer keen. If he changes his mind he will call you.
  17. kate111
    Is it better to separate friends and have them take sides? How have people handled the friends you have in common?
  18. kate111
    I'm curious about people who visit prostitutes. Do you fantasise/ believe the prostitute enjoys it too or do you just not care about the other person's involvement?
  19. kate111
    I'm in no contact but friends are not in no contact with ex and his friends. What is the best response/ attitudes for my friends to have?
  20. kate111
    I wouldn't reply. Why is she telling you this? It's useless information. How insulting. Just leave it, let her chase you even if she wants to be friends. Get a new phone and then if you see her tell her you changed your number.
  21. kate111
    Yes very wise. So what about the situation where they earned your trust and then changed in the relationship into someone else? Are you supposed to always keep track? I'm doing no contact. He doesn't deserve me. I realise that now. Is that setting limits?
  22. kate111
    Yes I think this is a valid point too. I have resolved to be more determined on this and take notice when I become too selfless.
  23. kate111
    3 years. Lived together. He suddenly called it off and moved out because he couldn't commit.
  24. kate111
    Rimshot you have helped. What else are you supposed to do when someone risks losing you altogether by breaking up with you? They have called it off so you need to create a life without them to survive. If you were in constant contact it would prolong suffering. I've taken comfort in the idea that if I was devoted enough to commit to that level, love as hard, then that is a reflection of me and my capacity to love. I can feel good knowing I could do that. One day I will meet someone who is capable of that too. Then the love will be explosive. Hoping.
  25. kate111
    I personally think you should avoid blaming yourself. I fall into this pitfall as well sometimes. So you have values. Time you met someone who shared your values. Perhaps you were more mature than her. Hold your head high Jason and keep acting with dignity and grace. It's her with the problem.
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