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kate111

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Everything posted by kate111

  1. kate111
    You have to respect her wishes Dan. Just trust us on this one. It's for the best.
  2. kate111
    How do I find a mod? Is there a list somewhere?
  3. kate111
    Oh I see. Well I shall make this my personal writing pad for expressing my fears, feelings everything then. Shall pm a mod.
  4. kate111
    Well I know if I was the girl I would want to get away very fast. But perhaps that is just me, I'm not a passionate person who wants high intensity drama. I withdraw if someone gets like that. If she is anything like me she texted you out of guilt. She feels pity for you because you are so out of control. But you are making her resolve to break up with you stronger aren't you? We are like opposites Dan. I witdraw probably too much whilst you seem to go the other way. If I was you Dan I would leave it for a month or so. Painful as that is.
  5. kate111
    Thank you for your kind words. Yes I probably need to write it all down. I feel too sad to do so yet. It's like I am frozen. I have a few offline friends and have talked to them heaps. I just really really hate being alone right now. Is that normal? When will that feeling go away?
  6. kate111
    I just feel so incredibly sad and confused. It's really hard to deal with the fact that he doesn't care and can just leave me after 3 years. He's done this cutting off completely thing before. Do you think it will ever catch up with him? Is there some way I can move this thread into the healing section?
  7. kate111
    Oh Dan. This is the old Dan isn't it? You need to let it go. I know it hurts, I'm going through this now and have the same tendency to obsess and overanalyse. You are driving women away by being too needy. You have tried hard enough with this lady. Unfortunately you need to sit and wait now. If she wants you back she will call you. Easy to say and not to do I know.
  8. kate111
    Help! I can't deal with this. I have an inability to make any decision. Tell me it will be ok and I will get over it. When I think of my ex it really really hurts. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  9. kate111
    I, like many people here had a sudden unexplained breakup, and my ex isn't telling me what happened. So far I have been doing no contact. Is this really the way to behave in relation to a breakup so as to retain dignity and grace? I want to handle this the best way I can to get my self esteem back and so that when I look back and I can feel proud of myself? Is it better to get angry? Tel the ex off? Disappear? Scream and rage in private but never show the ex this side? Also is the way to get the ex back the same way as whatever method would retain dignity? Or do you have to try for one or the other?
  10. kate111
    Thank you BeStrongBeHappy. I'm starting to wonder whether doing no contact and withholding my anger is healthy for mental health. Wouldn't it be better to call him and blow up at him about all I am angry about and then withdraw? Surely all this repression and bottling up is going to make things harder.
  11. kate111
    Thank you all so much for your kind advice. I went back to the apartment to collect some stuff and it suddely occurred to me that I'm sure that my ex cheated on me a couple of days before the split and then called it off rather than telling me. Probably because he thinks he is sparing me hurt. He probably figured he wanted out anyway so there was no point telling me. I found evidence that he is already trying to hook up with some random girl. Should I email him and let him know that I know or just leave it.
  12. kate111
    Thank you all so much for your support and insights. They have helped hugely. What shocks me is how he can cut me off with such razorsharp precision. Is he going to miss me at all? It seems the consensus is to move out. Argh, flatmates again. So hard. My friend says men often do this cutting off compartmentalising thing and that it helps them not feel anything and that this kind of man feels less than women. Is this true? Is there a man who reacts like this on enotalone? Can you tell me what he is feeling? I can handle the truth.
  13. kate111
    I asked him that and he said there is noone else.
  14. kate111
    So what do I do about the apartment? Keep it or move?
  15. kate111
    My partner of 3 years and live in partner of 2 years informed me we need to spilt up asap 2 days ago. He said that the relationship had been "stagnating"awhile and that he wants to try out being single. He said 3 years is along time and he had to work out here the relationship is going, and he has decided it should split. I asked if it is a break or permanent and he said he can't see us getting back together. I said that I couldn't imagine our relationship ending. He has offered to move out of the apartment but I said he could stay there as I am with family at home. Not sure if I should move back in and find a flatmate or find somewhere completey different. I feel very shocked and can't function. I can't sleep, I can't eat and I want him back more than anything in the world. What do I do? How do I get him back? Is that even possible? So many questions.
  16. kate111
    Aminae, Forgiveness takes a long time. It was very hard. This happened to me 3 years ago.
  17. kate111
    Thanks StolenShadow. Thanks alot.
  18. kate111
    Yes, I understand and respect what you are saying. For a long time ( 2 years) I held your very same viewpoint, ie why help the guy feel ok about his crappy actions? But he kept contacting me every 6 months or so and every time he contacted me it would affect me for a few weeks afterwards, so I forgave him so that he would have no reason to contact me anymore and I wouldn't be upset. I also figure, what he does with himself and chooses to think about his actions is his own affair now. He hurt me and I forgave him and the fact that I have forgiven him reflects on me and has nothing to do with him. Is my way of thinking healthy people?
  19. kate111
    Yeah my ego does want him to get back together so that I can feel like I am the one with the power, yes, I agree with you. You are wrong with your assumption that if I was single I would get back with him if he wanted it though. I broke it off at the time, he didn't say anything about breaking up, and I decided that I would not talk to him again in light of his actions. I could never be with him because I could never trust him.
  20. kate111
    Thanks Fantasia. You're a sweety.
  21. kate111
    Yes that could be Crazyaboutdogs. Mysteries can be so annoying. You just want to know what happened!
  22. kate111
    Thanks fantasia. *hugs* I don't like when he contacts me. It takes ages for me to get over it when he does it. You think I should have forgiven him already?
  23. kate111
    How do I feel about it? That depends on whether his text was made out of genuinely feeling bad about what he had done or whether it was centred around making himself feel better. I hope its the former but if its the latter then my feelings towards him remain the same. I suppose the problem with text messages is that it is very hard to know how things are written. It is so mysterious and able to be misconstrued.
  24. kate111
    What do you think of my theory?
  25. kate111
    Thanks Majord you are probably 100% right. I was also thinking about something Friscodj posted about people very seldom doing things out of the blue. I now have a theory.... When my ex and I spilt we split because he went to another country and met somebody else and forgot to tell me until he came back months later. 3 years later he has text messaged me from another country to tell me he is sorry. My theory is that he is still with his girl but she is not in this other country with him just yet. He is getting scared that she will do the same thing to him as he did to me.
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