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kate111

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Everything posted by kate111

  1. kate111
    So what if the way they ditched you was mean? Are you still nice to them?
  2. kate111
    I've read so many books and things on the topic of break ups. Some advocate no contact and letting the other person wonder about you. Whilst others say you should just agree with the other person, accept it and then move on. What do people here think?
  3. kate111
    Don't expect that supporting somebody to achieve success will make them appreciate you. They may just upgrade you when they are confident instead.
  4. kate111
    So sad but so true. Thank you.
  5. kate111
    Ahhh. Just walked through the city and there were so many hot young chicks. I walked by the nightspots and felt old, tired and worn out. Damaged goods. The ex is probably feeling so free and eager to discover all these new and exciting people. My heart aches. I tried to look at men to see if I felt interested but I only felt sick. I became so loyal with my ex that I just was not interested in other people. :sad:
  6. kate111
    Fair enough. I like your idea of 1.5 years. I'm going to do that too.
  7. kate111
    Can I email you my situation Superdave?
  8. kate111
    Yes you are right. Hurry up and heal Kate! I just keep analysing things and seeing them in a new light.
  9. kate111
    Hmm yes true. It doesn't make it easier when they are nice does it?
  10. kate111
    Well it's good you are able to move on and hope for a new experience. Also, what do people think of that policy of agreeing with the other person? Ie agreeing for their reasons for break up etc to give them dou bts? Anyone actually pulled this off successfully? I'm just doing no contact now to stop myself making mistakes. Most people beg and do the wrong thing in the first two days right?
  11. kate111
    I have learned I have a tendency to become codependent that I have to fight against. I have to learn to be more assertive.
  12. kate111
    But what did he do? The relationship was going downhill partly as a result of my own codependency. I wasn't seeing friends and was living through him. No wonder he wasn't happy and wanted out. Maybe if I change for the better he will come back.
  13. kate111
    I don't want to hear from him unless he says the words that he is sorry and made a mistake. I do not want to be friends. It would be too upsetting. I feel silly for trusting him completely in the relationship and not seeing warning signs. The break up felt like total abandonment with no warning. I still have nightmares about it. Apparently you CAN get to a healthier place in a few months and attract them back according to ebooks. But does it really work? Anyone tested it? Or are you just leaving yourself open to experience more pain? Is it better just to move on?
  14. kate111
    Perhaps it is more than just pride stopping me. I don't want to be hurt either. Of course, like most dumpees I wish he would call and say those words.... but in the absense of them I have to move on. Argh I feel so silly for trusting him completely.
  15. kate111
    Supposedly you can attract them back by having an approved appareance, and outlook on life.
  16. kate111
    If you do no contact should you break it at any time or does it continue forever. Some break up books advocate meeting them after 30 days. Has anyone ever tried this? What happened? I'm not going to do it as I have too much pride I think but am just wondering.
  17. kate111
    Interesting thread.
  18. kate111
    Ahh. How depressing. But after reading a bit of stuff on the net it seems there is two theories: 1. The taxi theory- a man is not ready to settle down until a certain age and then grabs a suitable woman when his settling down age happens; 2. A man can ALWAYS commit, if they say they can't it is an excuse they are using because they don't want to be with you. So which is it I wonder? Maybe a bit of both.
  19. kate111
    Hmmm. Interesting. I'm not dating anyone under 30 anymore.
  20. kate111
    Yes I think you did. You got the "business"sorted. I think now you should do no contact. Don't answer any calls and try to grieve this relationship on your own.
  21. kate111
    Thank you very much for your response. I'm on 31 days I think. The losing oneself thing and forgetting who you are thing happened to me as well. Live and learn.
  22. kate111
    To never live through someone else. You have to live for yourself.
  23. kate111
    What age do men feel ready to commit generally? Does it just come down to whenever they meet the right person? Or do you get to a certain age and then want to "settle down" and fnd the nearest suitable person? Do exes ever realise what they had in the past after they have shopped around and come back?
  24. kate111
    The ex's email made me regress. Does that mean I have to start all over again? I was forced to contact him before.
  25. kate111
    Awesome advice.
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