redsuede
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Wow.. DId you write that?
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Side note: Red colored glasses are never OK.. live in reality.. not through shades!!
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Uh.. Yah they do work. I found my other half on one of those sites. I dont know why you would say never, when there are so many people even here that say that they have met their soul mate online! It can happen.
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Dumper feels being powerful. Dumpee feels like you have saturated your soul in hell. Dumpee IMO gets the most work done.
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A woman will be more accepting of that, I truly think, although I dont think you need to worry about it. Some words of advice first though, when you meet someone new, make sure you develop a bit of a relationship with the girl before doing too much integration. Yes, the kids sake but also, for the sake of your relationship. A relationship needs a bit of time first to develop before other things get involved. You will be fine! good luck!
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As far as your question about single parents... well, I think that is a very common thing these days. Most people are single parents, or have kids. They both have it tough.. No one wants anyone to come along in their life and treat their kids differently than they would. Its test time for the guy, which is never fun either.. Its hard on both ends I read your question completely wrong.. Disregard the rose colored glasses comment.. Sorry...
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Rose colored glasses is a term used to describe someone who romantisizes a relationshiop. You see only good, and put the bad out of veiw. You see the relationship in a totally different light than what it really is.
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The one that has it the worst is the one still wearing the Rose Colored Glasses.
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This is exactly how it should feel for now. I really want you to keep in mind that the more that you "sit" through those feelings and allow it to pass, you will soon notice that they start coming less and less. During these times, it is very important that you monitor your thoughts during these fragile times. Remember.. WHAT YOU THINK IS WHAT YOU FEEL!! Please keep us posted!!
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Post your progress too!!
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Houdini.. Big hugs to you. What you are going through truly is heartbreaking. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. You sound like even though you are going through hell, you have your head in the right place. You are right. Life is unfair. I dont have any magical words of wisdom.. I only can offer you empathy. **fellow prison mate**
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Just 5 words for you... YOU FEEL WHAT YOU THINK!!! You need to try to refocus on your thoughts. This is seriously taking too huge of a toll on you. We are all here for you, but no one can do it for you. You have no control of this situation, just like the rest of the world has no control over what anyone else does or doesnt do. What you can do however, is taking control of your own thoughts. Try really hard to see that life is not only about this girl. You have your whole life ahead of you, and your life is not over. I know how much it can feel this way. Pull yourself up, and be good to yourself. I promise you, it will be OK. We are all here for you. Make sure you are eating, sleeping, and I highly recommend staying away from drugs and alcohol completely at this time. Take this time to heal and figure out why you need her so much in your life.
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You are young, and probably feel like you need to live a bit before settling down.. By knowing this though, I think you owe it to her to be completely honest with her as its not fair, then you two can decide together what is best.
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when the person who dumped you was the one at fault
redsuede replied to sunday13's topic in Breaking Up Advice
Im so glad to see that you wrote "I dont know what good that would be" in context to contacting him. That is the bottom line with contact. Would it do any good. Most of the time NO. It might make you feel things you have laid to rest. I can tell you that nothing sucks more than putting so much in a relationship, doing most of the work just to have them break up with you, ... So, for that... My deepest empathy to you.. I am sorry you are going through this. -
Okay, so from what I understand, he is in another relationship. That always makes it feel 10 times worse. Please understand that all of these things that you are seeing, and that are happening, do NOT come someone who you really want in your life. You are worth something, and its not what you are going through. I know you are confused and hurting. I know that its very hard to go through this, but just stay strong and ONLY focus on you. Dont get in the trap of thinking "I wonder what he is thinking" or "I wonder if he misses me when he saw me" things like that. Only think of how you are feeilng. If you find certain situations are making you feel more anxious, please try hard to avoid those situations in the future. Concentrating on how you feel is a major key to healing.. It gets better, I promise.