dikaia880

If he's worth being married to is he not worth waiting for? How long have you two been together? I really seem to think that he wants it to be special and is waiting to give you that special proposal... the other think I believe is that an engagement isn't something that should be rushed by ultimatums...If you love him, you will wait until he's ready, so I guess the real question is do you love him? It seems to me you do, but that your frustrated, which I can understand...but if it's been talked about and plans have fallen through for reason out of his control I think it's headed that way...It doesn't seem like he's making excuses...

Tough situation, but I think that you might be getting a little pushy with the engagement... I think that it's alright to wait to get engaged, if thats what both of you want a little patience is worth it... At age 21 theres no reason to rush into getting engaged, it could actually hurt the relationship more that it might help...as long as you know that your heading towards marriage the only difference is whether you have a ring on your finger or not...I thinks it thoughtful of him that he wants it to be special...and it seems like he has good reasons to wait... Don't throw away a good relationship for impatience...

Mako...No offense, but I pretty much hate Slipknot.... When I get home i'll throw in "The Decline" by NOFX and crank it up...Then I'll have throw in either Dropkick Murphy's or maybe a little Flogging Molly... Shocked, thanks for the reply, it feels good to vent like that..helps get the things out of my head a little...I have much more..maybe I'll jsut put a couple a day... Oh yeah, I'm sorry that when I saw you a month after we broke up that you cried for three days before sending me an email that I, my roommate, and his fiancee all thought was basically saying you wanted to get back together...and that you said once you saw me "all the feelings (you) had supressed for me came to the surface" leaving you crying...I'm sorry that I read into that email and thought for once you would let you heart lead your decisions....I'm sorry that your email gave me so much hope that now 3 or 4 months later I'm still holding on, that you are still constantly on my mind, day and night...I'm terribly sorry...

Hey Everybody... Maybe I'm hitting the anger stage, or it's just an angry day, but I do know that you need to get anger out or it will eat you up...so here's some ranting and venting...Keep in mind I have a very sarcastic sense of humor most of the time... I'm sorry that I tried as hard as I possibly could, and that according to you I was "everything you ever dreamed of"...that must have made it really hard on you... I'm sorry that I would drive hours and hours to come see you...again it must have been hard for you to see me as much as that... I'm sorry that I would talk to you for hours on the phone each day, staying up late when I had to work early...I wish I had been able to talk to you as much as you wanted to... I'm sorry that you cried because you missed me, I'm sorry that you missed me too much to be with me... I'm sorry that you were the one that talked me out of buying a house, a dog, and others things I wanted because when we got married I'd have to sell the house, and the dog wouldn't like you because you couldn't see it all the time, I'm really sorry that in the end after all you talk of marriage your the one that wasn't ready for a serious relationship...sounds like a damned excuse to me... I'm am really sorry that all those times your boss/friends/parents/whoever pissed you off, or that when you just needed to hear my voice, or when you missed me after you broke it off that I was there for you to make you feel better, even at 2 or 3 am...I'm sorry I helped you get over me... I'm sorry that everytime you felt like talking about your feelings for me that I listened, but when I had something to say about 'us' you just didn't want to talk about it...I should have realised that it's a one way street...your way or no way... I'm sorry that someday your going to realise I am the one for you, and I'm sorry that I just might not be available, and I'm sorry that it's going to hurt... I'm sorry that I put everything else below you...I'm sorry I treated you better than you may have even deserved at times...I'm sorry I was so understanding... I'm sorry everyone else but you see's your mistakes... I'm sorry that I'm still in love with you, that I still hold you above most everything... I'm sorry that if we ever get back together that I won't be the way I was...I won't be the push over all the time...I won't go out of my way for you until you do the same for me.... Okay, I could go on and on, but I gots work to do... I still love this girl with all my heart, and even though all the crap she's put me through, i don't see that changing anytime soon...It's been 5 months, and I haven't let myself let go...maybe this anger stage will help, if thats in fact where I'm at... Again most of this is sarcastic, and maybe won't make sense to some of you, or maybe it will make perfect sense...I'm just frustrated with my life at this point and needed to get some of that off my chest.... Much Love for all of you who come here...it's been a huge help for me and others...I get on here almost everyday, and I can truly feel the love and caring all of you people have, it's amazing the way we all care about people we don't know....

I think it helps you out to be as fun and happy as you can be in that situation... As far as a gift, I don't think you should give her anything... A rose is beyond a friendship thing, and may make her think you still want more, which would be a negative to the weekend... I think the best thing you can give her is your happiness and laughter... I hate saying this because people always say it to me and it doesn't make me feel any better, but I know it is true...with that said... What's meant to be is meant to be... Good luck and have fun...life is too short to sit around and be sad, esp. when your with your ex...I mean really, who want's a depressed person anyways? I'm sure she know's your hurt, so you don't (and shouldn't) need to show it...

I've been in the same situation for the past five months, but as far as I know my ex isn't dating... Your in a hard place to be in, for me talking to the ex always throws me for a loop, there are always things that are said that just give your more questions... I think you know what to do, play it cool have fun, and things will work out the way their meant to... She does miss you, like my ex missed (and hopefully misses) me...My ex hasn't come back to me (I am moving back to her town in two months) so it's hard to tell if just missing you is enough...My ex missed me too much when we were together and thats pretty much what ended my relationship so missing someone isn't always enough... Best of luck, I things will work out for you in some way or another!

Okay so last night, I had a nice dream of her...but then I had a long nightmare, woke up and my buddies dog who i'm watching for the weekend is licking me...well anyways, I get back to sleep and I have a dream about her...all it is is that she's telling me she's engaged...I woke up feeling almost sick... I like my good dreams, at least I'm happy for a little while

Okay, what the hell does this mean? probably nothing, but I had a long dream where me and my ex were at a buddies place and just hanging out with friends holding each other and laughing having a great time...I had it right before I woke up, and I think for the first time after having a dream like that I woke up and smiled instead of letting it get me down...huh...

I should get one of those dream dictionaries... I'm thinking that in reality our dreams are simply our sub-consious finding a way to express those emotions and thoughts that it can't express in any other way... I just hate to get hope from something that could be nothing more than our sub-consious telling us what we want to hear...

I posted on this a couple months back... For me I've never really dreamed about a girl I've liked until I met my ex, then I dreamed of her alot... I know I was dreaming of her last night, but as I was at a Jimmy Buffett concert, I was a little drunked up and don't remember what they dream was about... But if I remember, like singer, there have been nights where I'm at my wits end with all of it and thats seems to be when i have the most vivid dreams about her.... One dream, I will probably never forget...My ex and I were sitting somewhere, really there was nothing around us, just like a dark fog and we were staring into each others eyes for what seemed like forever, It was so peaceful and after a long time (it was really odd how long nothing happened, just staring) and then she smiled and said, "we'll still be together" and thats when I woke up... Dreams have always interested me...where do they come from was my question in the thread I started... I'll wonder if it was just my sub-consious saying what I wanted to hear, or if it's my sub-consious picking up on something that the consious can't pick up on... Or is it the answer I've been asking God for... The thing is people tell you that when you start thinking of your ex you need to push those thoughts out so you can start to move on...if thats true, why does our very own sub-consious sabatoge us from not thinking of them?

Wow, a lot of thoughts there... I would think that being in your position as a "lower status" individual within your school setting does not allow you to all of the sudden switch into an authortative individual by making jokes... The proverb you mention..."It is better to laugh than to be laughed at..." is a good thought, but it needs to be put to use in a more constructive manner... Rather than making jokes at this "authoritative" individual, you should be laughing at yourself (nothing shows confidence and self-esteem more than self-depricating sense of humor, i.e. if it doesn't bother you why should it bother anyone else?) Now I am not saying that your should allow the authoritative individuals to "cut you down to size" so to speak, by ignoring it you show a lack of confidence to stand up for yourself, but by laughing at it you show your confidence.... By making jokes at the authoritative few you lower yourself to their level....why would a "high status" individual need or want to waste his or her time putting someone down...You see the real authoritative individuals have a good sense of humor and charisma neither of which involve cutting someone down...While in high school it may seem that way, once beyond that it simply makes them look like idiots... I think the better plan is to show your charisma, your confidence, and quality sense of humor...good natured ribbing of your friends and those with "authority" is good (after all if they are truly authoritative why would it bother them or upset them? all that shows is their true lack of confidence...) Good luck as you strive to find your place, but remember as you say your school sets a personality on you, it does not seem to be your real personality so break free of that....and always remember that high school, in reality, means nothing more than four years of akward learning experiences...

It can be sort of hard to play, but I can hit it pretty well and I've only been playing for a couple months... "Sister Golden Hair" by America

There is always a chance of pregnacy, but using the protection your talking about it should be pretty safe... 16 is in my mind too young to be having sex, it makes you grow up way to quick...Im not telling you not to, but just make sure that he's the real deal and in it for the long term and that you're really ready for the resposibilities and the emotional impact it can and will have... Remember it's one of those things you can never get back...just be really sure...

This is one of those hard questions because so many guys are different... Out of a relationship I want a best friend, someone I'm comfortable around all the time, someone who I can love and know that my love make a difference in her life... Not all guys cheat, I would say that most guys don't cheat...but there are bad guys out there that make the rest of us look like them... I'll be honest there are times when all guys just want one thing...it's part of our nature, and I think you know what I'm talking about... But it is not all of the time...there are times when we want to just cuddle, hang out, goof around, it's not all sex all the time... When I used to tell me ex I just wanted to cuddle, she'd say yeah right, and we'd end up having sex, no complaints but I really did just want to cuddle! If they show a lot of interest in you, don't sleep with them, if they keep coming around despite you not always sleeping with them, then their interested in more than just the sex... Just my viewpoint, I could be wrong, but I think men are stereotyped into sex-crazed, don't give a #@%$ punks that would cheat giving the opportunity...not true!

Good to see you back Luxe! Sorry your still not there, we all know how it is! Sounds like your doing great for the position your in, keep it up and things will be fine!!!

I wouldn't go out of your way to contact...I like the giving him a ride thing you mentioned you did...if the chance to talk or say hi presents itself do so, just be confident and fun...it will work out...

I think you should be honest with her... Simply tell her what you said in your last post.. That your trying to move on and if all she wants is to simply be friends your not ready for it...Remind her of what you said, which is a great quote by the way!, Say "Remember when I told you love never dies, it just falls asleep? At this point I wouldn't want to make things difficult by trying to be friends and have the love I have for you emerge again causing problems with being friends. (if you do want to be friends tell her that in time you two can be friends but that your just not ready) tell her (without saying it directly) that you'd want to try again, but make sure it's done in a sub-conscious manner...make her wonder if thats what you'd want... She may be trying to get back together with you and you obviously don't want to shut out that possibility...or she may just trying to be friends...the cat thing is suspicious, esp. if she never did it when you were going out... She could be using it as an excuse to contact, or she could simply be using you because she's in a jam and thinks you will bend ove backwards for her (probably not, but it's not a bad idea to be careful, you don't want to be her doormat!) Good luck and I think the answers will come to you soon enough!

Thats a really tough position... The only thing you can really do to show him your happy and fine with it all it to really be happy and fine with it all (redundant I know) What I'm trying to say is that you just need to be friendly and upbeat when you see him, even if your having a bad day you need to be cheery around him until he's comfortable and knows you won't cause drama (whether you have in the past or not) So give it time, be his friend and he'll come around...I've been there before a couple times in High School and they will come around...and as far as the two of you are concerned what ever's meant to be will work out, maybe you two will be together, maybe not...time will tell! Best of luck!

They do get back together...and at the end of the movie...their together... Great movie, but if somebody were to do what Rob does to win laura back he probably would never get her back... I like swinger's better for break-ups... Esp. the opening...Mike and Rob are taking about Mike's ex and Rob says "unfortunately there is nothing you can do to get her back, there are only things you can do to make sure she doesn't come back..."

Okay finding the right card that says "hi friend, happy birthday but also says "you love me and will realise it and come back to me" you know subconsiouly, is really hard to find Any one have any more thoughts? Especially on the question of sending the cd's or not...I'm really stuck on this one....HELP! thanks all!

Main question...Who broke up with who...and why? If you broke it off with him, then you need to be proactive and show him how you feel and really explain to him why you ended it.. If it's the other way around, if you haven't done all the beggin and pleading then you could try writing him a nice letter explaining how you feel...but it cannot come accross as needy...More like Hey I still have feelings for you and would like to hang out more and see where it leads if your up for it... good luck!

The only answer that is right (unfortunately) is Maybe... I know that doesn't help, but it's the truth... I do the same thing, will she miss me and realise what she lost? Maybe... There's a song by Jack Johnson where the lyric goes "it seems to me maybe, pretty much always means no." I don't think thats necessarily true, but the question is do we hold on to a maybe? Like I said I ask all these questions too, but the real question is what do we gain from asking questions that cannot be answered....the answer is nothing...I am much happier on the days when I'm able not to ask them...but it's hard not to... I feel ya, it does get easier though (yeah I know, you've heard it before) but it's true....Best of luck, and sorry your having to go through this...

I think in more situations than not the dumper thinks of the dumpee.... I don't care if my ex thinks about me...the only reason I want her to think of me is if she's thinking of me in the "i messed up, I want him back" way... I think of a girl that I hurt really bad all the time...we had become friends two years after i hurt her and we talked a lot...a year and a half ago (two years after the break or so) I actually thought I wanted her back for awhile...or at least thought I was having feelings for her...And thats after I broke up with her because after 7 and a half months I knew I didn't love her and never would becuase I had been trying so hard to fall in love with her, but just couldn't.... So as much as I hate all of this and thinking about her and wondering if she thinks of me...I'm sure she does...I don't see how she couldn't... It's like on Swinger's (the movie that is about my life, right down to the part where I'm moving back, not for her, but still) Mike's ex calls him after 6 months, just as he's found someone else...and he asks his ex why she hadn't called if she missed him? She tells him she picked up the phone everynight... Now I can't say our ex's pick up the phone everynight, or how much they really miss us....but they do think of us...and someday they will call...the question is where are we going to be when they do call...Someday's I like to think at that point I'll be moved on and not care, other days i just wait for the call...time will tell... Hig Fidelity is a great movie...except he does everything your not supposed to do to get someone back...and he gets her back, it would never work that way in real life (well maybe, but probably not)

I watched swingers last night...wish i had a long time ago...great movie...I'll probably watch it every night until it's due back...and then I might just not return it...

Oh the likeness between our situations Spatz...you must be my UK counterpart... All my ex could keep saying half the time was I'm confused, sorry I just want things to be clear... I give you clear...I am and always will be the right guy for you...okay I didn't say that, but sometimes I wonder what if I had... Oh well... I sort of envy you at this moment spatz and at the same time I don't...you get to see your ex this summer, soon if I remember correctly...but then she'll be off back to college....who knows what will happen to you, I, or anyone else...I have to wait to be around my ex, but then it will be for a long time...Maybe your ex comes back to you this summer, hell maybe mine does too, maybe neither... What bothers me most about this, like my last pm to you spatz is that I do not know what it is I am supposed to learn from all this...every other relationship I've been in has taught me a lesson, now it's five months and the only thing I've learned is that no matter how much someone cares for you, no matter how hard you work to keep it alive, it may just die (well hopefully it's just hibernating) So far all it's taught me is to protect my heart and be careful with the love I have to give...I don't think thats what I want to learn...urgghhhhh...well at least it's time to get away from my desk and hit the gym... Goodnight all...