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dikaia880

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Everything posted by dikaia880

  1. dikaia880
    This isn't necessarily about love, but fate... "Fate...is what people who are not willing to try rely on...Yes, Fate is real, but for fate to become real one must help it along..."
  2. dikaia880
    I'm not saying what your feeling isn't real, but I am saying that the feelings change a lot quicker when your younger...it's easier to get over someone... I know of no relationship that started before the age of 16 that lasted... I'm not trying to be harsh, or belittle you because of your age. I'm sorry for your pain, but I don't think there's a whole lot you can do...not to mention she has feelings for someone else she dated before...
  3. dikaia880
    Well, I know it's tough...but if she has feelings for another guy, just let her go, if it's meant to be it will work out... But to be honest at your age relationships rarely last...and feelings are rather easily changed... It hurts I know, but to be honest I got hurt by a girl at your age and I can honestly tell you I laugh my butt off when my buddies bring it up... It will hurt for awhile, but when you get older it will just be one of those great childhood memories... You can try to talk to her, but I don't think it will help much...
  4. dikaia880
    Exactly, The next crash... It's always there...whether it's us that causes it or the ex's. When I saw her thurs and fri nights I was fine we had fun...the saturday the booze got to me and I tried to tell that I'm good with us being friends, but I don't think it came out that way...also I wondering what else I may have said that I don't remember...I do remember being in her car and saying "nice CD player" a couple times (I bought it for her last summer as a surprise....this would all be fine and dandy but she was stone cold sober and I was wrecked....I don't know how it may have come accross. Oh well...she still hasn't called me back after Sunday night when I called her...I think I should email her or call her today to let her know what I was trying to say, becuase she just cut me off and said we'll talk when your sober.... damn booze!!!
  5. dikaia880
    While my ex still finds ways to rip my heart out ( I know she doesn't mean to, she doesn't even know she's doing it) I know that I have all of you here to be my backbone when I get weak...And that makes me believe, believe that there are people out there (all of you) that care for others...gives me hope that while I'm four months into the worst time of my life (no exagerration) There will be a time in the future when I'm either A.) Back together with my ex, or B.) Over her and on with my life... Neither of those two are going to happen tomorrow...but someday... I thank all of you for you thoughts and prayers! I hope that I can repay some of you for the strength you all give me from day to day....I hope all is well with everyone.
  6. dikaia880
    thanks for putting this one here... Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the hurt and pain of my break up to remember that God's Will is all that matters... If my ex and I are to end up together it's because it was meant to be...and that i do need to let go and let God show me the way through life and understand that things happen for a reason and that one way or the other I will be alright, whether I'm with my ex in the future or not it doesn't matter because at this point she doesn't want to be with me, not because of who I am but because she isn't ready for a serious relationship... "If it's meant to be, then it will be..." Thanks for the uplifting post!
  7. dikaia880
    One thing to remember is that I think guys respond to contact from girls they broke up with in a bad way... He broke up with you for a reason, let him live with it and until you're "out of his life" by not calling, emailing, and the rest he doesn't have to live with the fact that he left you... I think girls who have been left are better off with no contact than guys that have been left are...I think it's the way we think and act on emotions. Guys will think...she hasn't called I've made a huge mistake I miss her...(albiet not in every case) Girls will think....he hasn't called, I was right it wasn't meant to be...(again not in every case)
  8. dikaia880
    No...I am thinking, too much, what if she's lost any of those feelings she did have for me... What if it wasn't necessarily the long distance that ruined things... What if I get back there in three months and nothing happens with us... I know she's been really busy lately, i'm wondering what will happen when she doesn't have school to keep her busy (one of the things that has kept us from talking a lot, and one of the things she complained about, that we just wouldn't have enough time to make it worth it...) I'm wondering what she feels...I want to know she still cares...I want to know the future (obviously I cannot) At the club saturday night I was dancing with all kinds of different girls, I was flirting and having fun and if I had wanted I could have gone home with one of them (she asked me too) I didn't want a one night stand... And I realized even with all the fun I had with those girls, none of the came even close to comparing with my ex...and it scares me....what if I never find someone that compares to her...when do I settle and how do I live without her...I'm worried that my feelings and the love I have for her will never leave me... I always guarded my heart, I was always happier alone that with someone...until I met her and now I hate being alone...The one time in my life I finally found someone good enough to let in (and the realized how good she is) it ended up hurting me...it's why I always guarded myself and now I wonder how can I get myself to let someone back in? Why did this have to happen to me...it wasn't supposed to...maybe I just want my life to be like a good movie... Why can't she see that me and her could never be wrong together...
  9. dikaia880
    I've never felt more comfortable with someone like I do with my ex... She's one of the sweetest people I've ever met, and I would do anything to spend the rest of my life making her happy... Unfortunately she's not ready for that...but maybe one day she will be and maybe i'll be lucky enough to be the one thats there when she does.... Simply put...I am amazed by her and everything she does, seeing her smile and making her laugh make me happier than I ever thought possible. maybe thats why it's so hard to let go....
  10. dikaia880
    Hey Everybody, Seems like I missed a bunch...I'll catch up later.. Here's what happened to me this weekend... I get to her town thursday night and go out for a couple beers...she calls me from here work (a pub) and asks where i was and then she told me to go over there...So I do and I get over there and she gives me a huge hug...nice! So her friends are there...and there all saying stuff about how good I'm looking and all this...(she said many times how cute I was looking) One of her friends had just gotten dumped so i hung out with her and tried to make her feel better...It was a good night. Friday I went to her bar with some buddies...no big hug this time, but a little chit chat and I joined my friends... Saturday was the big party I went up for...she had to work until noon and had other stuff that she needed to be sober for (it's an all day drinking party) She called a couple times asking me what was going on...and I think I basically said I understand you got stuff going on so if you want stop by and if not I understand....Well she came over around 5 or 6 and i was way to drunk...But I didn't say anything stupid I was having fun and I think she saw that...she took us over to a buddies place and we talked a little (unfortunately a buddy's girlfriend told her not to lead me on, so I started trying to explain how I understood where we were at and even though the feelings are still there I'm okay with everything, she cut me off and said we can talk when your sober, so apparently it didn't come out the way I thought it was...) then she went on to her things she had going on. Then after a long nap, me and my boys went out to the bar...some how I managed to get on of the uni. sports teams pissed (I don't think I did anything) and had to spend half the night standing up for myself/trying not to get into a fight...eventually it all settled down after my ex's roomate (who dates one of the guys on the team) saw it all going down and told her boyfriend who came over and told his boys to grow up... It was good to see her, but at the sametime today is a horrible day...I called her last night to let her know I got home safe but she didn't answer and hasn't called back (now I'm wondering if I said something I didn't mean to on saturday, again I was way too drunk) And today would have been our one year anniversary, which shouldn't bother me, but it's all I've been thinking about.
  11. dikaia880
    Hey GeeCee, thanks for the advice! I'm going to hold off the call for now...Maybe she'll call as we only had a chance to talk for a couple minutes last night... It all just seems so weird....Why haven't my boys told me she was planning on being there? Did she know I'd be there... Another thing...and this is possibly me reading into things, but it's an odd thing... She says the store she works for is opening a new store and she's been doing a lot for it...But when she talks about it she keeps saying the date, even though it's on Monday...It doesn't seem normal the way she keeps saying the date it's May 3rd this and May 3rd that...you know she says the date when it doesn't need to be said...Okay here's why it's bugging me... May 3rd would be our one year anniversary if we were together...She never talks in terms of dates unless their way off in the future...but next week? most would say on Monday...Probably reaching I know, but it just seems weird to me...any thoughts on this? I won't bring up the "it would have been our anniversary" talk, but it'll be interesting to see if she says anything on it being a year later...
  12. dikaia880
    Well, I'm not going to not go....It's my fraternity's annual party...it's a big deal and usually one of the best times you'll ever have, so not going is out of the question...Bringing a date would be hard as I don't live there...but I could convince another ex of mine who is a friend of mine... I wouldn't want to do that though as it comes accross pretty obvious in the intentions... I just need to be confident...I might email her and say... You didn't sound to sure about being at the party when we talked. It's been awhile since we last talked about us, and I've been able to get my head straight about our situation...I know what you want and I know I can't change that and I don't want to change that. If you honestly wants to be friends, I think this would be a good time for us to have fun with each other and just get comfortable again...If you really don't want to be friends and you've just been saying that to make me "feel better" or if you think you'll feel awkward than maybe you shouldn't go. I'm comfortable with you being there, and in fact I think it would be a lot of fun, but if your not ready then thats fine... What do you all think? I don't know if she'll be checking her email the rest of the week, thats why I'm a little hesitant to email...what about a short phone call?
  13. dikaia880
    My question is simply, how does a guy put himself into the assertive catagory... There are times when I move in-between all three...How does one go about controling there temperment/personality to fit into the middle ground? I was everything me ex ever wanted, we (mostly her) talked about marriage and the future... I wasn never really submissive with her until the last couple weeks where I felt i was losing her and out of instinct I gave and gave and gave, ultimately looking needy...thereforeeee I lost her. I would like to be in that middle ground, but I suppose the concept is lost on me...any thoughts?
  14. dikaia880
    That is one of the best articles I've ever read... I've heard all to often, from girls I would have loved to date... "Any girl would be lucky to have a guy like you" "He's just too nice, I can't see myself with him." I think all of us nice guys have heard the lines before...and it tears at the heart most of the time.... I'd just like to apologize to my ex...For being too nice to her, for treating her like she deserves...For the time I drove an extra 5 or 6 hours after a duck hunting trip to be with her for 3 hours before driving another 5 hours home...For all the times I drove to see her because she missed me...for all the sweet things she thanked me for...For all the "wonderful" things I still do for her... I'm sorry that after all you said about the future, I'm sorry that "I was the best you've ever had, and that no one as ever treated you as good as I did, that you were all you ever wanted...and yet that wasn't enough for you... Sorry for being me, a nice guy that any girl would be lucky to have...
  15. dikaia880
    Hey Spatz... I wish I could give you an answer on this one, but as we know our stories are all to much alike... You're able to start letting go, I'm happy for you... I can't get myself to that point and I don't know why... I, like you, will never understand how our relationships ended. How the ex's could go from what they used to say to breaking our hearts...how they can tell us how much they care and want us in their lives...and yet not want the same thing... I'm honestly starting to wonder if she's been lying to me to keep me from hurting more... Things were so good, but then they weren't...She's told me there was no one else, that she just lost feelings... I'll be seeing her this weekend, at the annual party that was our first date a year ago...She was planning on stopping by and my boys knew and didn't tell me, supposedly they thought I'd be upset...but most of them know I'll be there....I wonder if she knew I'd be there before I told her... Like Kuhl said Breathing does help...Keeping as many positives thoughts in you head helps too...but sometimes the pain can be too much...I hear your pain bud and I wish I could help...
  16. dikaia880
    Okay, so I think my last post got deleted...oh well. So now here's another thing that comes up... We've been playing phone tag up until last night...We talk briefly and she was busy and said she needed to get going, so I mentioned that I would be in her town for the weekend starting thursday night...My college fraternity is having it's annual end of the year date party (which was me and the ex's first date, a year ago) Well she says oh for the party, I have to work in the morning but I was planning on stopping by...and get this then she says "the boys weren't going to tell you because they weren't sure if you'd be pissed..." So my boys are holding back, they should tell me....they know I'm going to be there and how I feel about her.... I wonder if they told her I was going to be there? We'll see what happens...she kept asking "well if you don't want me there i won't come by" I said no, it'll be fun (it would be) but she says "you kinda hesitated there, you sure? I don't want it to be awkward" Again with the awkward, she's the one thats making it awkward... Some how I need to make her relax and understand that i won't be pushing for the relationship anymore....sex, well I might try to get that, but I need to make her relax around me....any thoughts on how? I think her being at this party is a good thing, hopefully I can get her to stay for awhile and cut loose, get over the awkward bull____. I just hope I don't get down because it should be our one year anniversary...
  17. dikaia880
    It's tough, tough to know whats right...whats best if I want her back, I know that at this point she doesn't want a serious relationship with me (or anyone else according to her, which I believe.) So maybe the emotions that would come from having sex would change her mind, maybe not...maybe teasing her and then not giving it up would do that, probably not...Either way no matter what happens now or in the next couple months...The game changes (for better or worse) in three and a half months when I get back to school... She might want me back now, but doesn't want to let me know that so that I make the decision to go back to school for me and not her, maybe she needs to know that I am going back for me and thats why she's holding back... Maybe she doesn't want a serious relationship... Maybe she's been lying to me for the past four months, maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe she left me for him, maybe she doesn't want me to be her friend and she's just being nice...I doubt that and I think GeeCee could agree with me, but it will all be evident when i go back. Maybe i sleep with her this weekend, maybe we go out and have a fun time and leave it at that...Maybe she doesn't want to see me so we don't even meet up... I don't really care at this point...I'm just sick of what if's!!! I'll do what I feel like doing at that moment and go with the flow and know that i did whatever I felt best at the time and be at peace with that!!! I do hear what your saying though scout, dangerous dangerous!!!
  18. dikaia880
    College changes a lot of people, but not everyone...but most. I became a much more confident person, much more out going... I joined a Fraternity, and although I wouldn't say its for everyone, it was the best part of my college experience...The leadership i gained from it would be hard to get anywhere else...My house was smaller, but I got to know so many guys very well, from around the country...it like any other organization opens your eyes to things that are different from any thing you've experienced...simply by just listening to their stories fomr back home. Be careful though...if you join (or anyone else) a fraternity or sorority be wise about which house you join...be sure they don't haze, I've had friends in other houses tell me some horror stories...And make sure that you join the house that feels right, not the one that's "okay, but my roommate is joining it so I will to." it's gotta feel right to you... Then if you do join one...try not to indulge in the partying too much...grades always come first, and if anyone asks me my best memories from my house, 85% of them don't involve the partying (even though I did quite a bit of that!) In general people become more open, more out-going, usually more confident in their own skin... You will lose some of your friends from High School, not all, but you will make up for that loss in new friends!
  19. dikaia880
    I guess the thing is that I can tell myself I won't feel anything, but I'm sure I will...question is what will I feel... I know I could go into it knowing that it wouldn't be us getting back together, just having some fun with someone you've had "fun" with before. I think the problem may be that I'd hope too much afterwards, that what happened made her re-think....Maybe I did something that seduced her past just her sexual feelings...something that touched her emotionally as well...but I don't know exactly how I'd feel.... Like someone's signature line..."life is the worst teacher, it gives the test first." Or maybe I could work her up to the point she wants to sleep with me, and then not give it too her...just be a tease all night...that would be fun and I would simply look back and say "i know what I could have done with her." LOL, I love it... Oh well I guess we'll see what happens...right now we're playing phone tag so bad that our messages back and forth have simply become "tag, your it!" I'll be at a Baseball game tonight so I probably won't get to talk to her...more tag! Hope everyone is doing good...thanks for the thoughts! Anymore!?
  20. dikaia880
    Well now I'm a big boy with some highlights in my hair... The hot girl at the hair cutter said "you know you'd look good with some frosted tips.." Well I don't know how good it looks but I got um...oh well. We'll see if I even get a chance to hang out with her this weekend...hopefully, but you never know... We've been playing phone tag, but I set up a business meeting with one of my agencies in her town, and her aunt happens to work there, so she'll know I was there whether I end up talking to her or not...
  21. dikaia880
    I do want to...I mean...it's been quite awhile since my last time, mainly because I don't want to go sleep with randoms and I'm not interested in a relationship with anyone (well, other than the ex of course) due to the fact I'm moving in three months or so... I don't think it will mess with my head that much...but here's where I wonder if it's possible to "get her in the sack" During one of our conversations when she told me she doesn't want a serious relationship, blah blah blah...she said somewhat jokingly "WHY CAN'T WE JUST HAVE SEX!?" So I know that she'd probably be up for it...unless (and heres my problem) she thinks that it will mess with my head and that it will be giving me those mixed signals that I've called her on before... How do I go about making sure she knows I won't get hung up on it? If we're out having fun, I don't think I can just say "hey we should go have sex...It won't be giving me mixed signals...just having some fun." or can I? Oh well...time to play a little phone tag....it's fun calling her knowing she can't answer and that she'll call back...hmmm will I answer? yeah probably this time.... Hope all is well ( or as well as it can be) with everyone.
  22. dikaia880
    Hey all, Hope everything is good... At this point for me things are good...I've been on a sort of no contact thing for the past couple weeks...after I put my feelings out there the "one last time" it was probably a good thing that we didn't talk for awhile... Well after very limited contact (a couple emails over the past two weeks) She called me Saturday afternoon...I didn't answer as I was just going into the gym. I didn't call back either...as I was out with my buddies that night she called again...I didn't answer...Had a blast that night, flirting with girls (and actually getting hit on by some hotties, puts a guy in a good confident mood I must say!) Sunday as i was again heading to the gym she called....didn't leave a message (she must have been a little irritated with me So i waited until about 8 in the night to call back...got the voicemail (which I was kinda hoping for) She called back later but my phone was off (I wonder why? ) Then she called this afternoon and left a message on my work phone while I was at Lunch... I'm going to call her this afternoon...when she's in class. I like having this upper hand so to speak...she wants to talk and I'm not giving it to her that easily...I like the control that I have at this point...she wants to talk to me, but can't, that seems to be bugging her! I'll be in her town for a long weekend...actually for the annual party that was our first date....maybe when i tell her it'll give her something to think about (how it could be our one year anniversary) At this point my emotions for her are locked up in a cage in my heart...the only time I let them out is when i'm at the gym...I use them for motivation, they push me to work harder... Maybe I should try to meet up with her this weekend...it'd be nice to "hook-up" for a night too (right GeeCee ) As long as I know going into it that nothing other than a night of "fun" will come out of it, she's the only one that will have to face the emotions afterwards... I know that all sounds sort of bad, but It's not meant to hurt her...just have a fun night and maybe, just maybe it'll shake her emotions loose... Any thoughts, or I'm I just being a guy???
  23. dikaia880
    It seems to me she's using the "avoidence" method of breaking up...You just ignore someone hoping they end it... I could be wrong, but at the sametime why would you want to stay in a relationship were this girl doesn't call or see you for weeks at a time? You've only been together a short time so she might not feel the need to actually break up with you...kind of like not calling after a second date, if that makes any sense... I'd get ahold of her phone email or whatever, and say in your own words..."you know...I really like spending time with you, and I think we're a good match but if it's not what you want, just let me know and I'll walk away..." Don't let her see that you care if it goes on or not...it may just shake her and make her realize that she likes you and needs to put more effort in...or she make be getting the break up that she wants...either way it allows to you know whats going on... Just my 2 cents...good luck!
  24. dikaia880
    No actually we had a great relationship...Long distance got in the way (when we split up we were looking at 2 and a half years of LD) and she's been confused about things but has decided that being alone is best right now...thats whats she's said... Our good times were not only in the bedroom... My other thing is...well I'm a guy, I haven't had sex since we were together, and i don't want to sleep around (even though I have a "friend" who would want to) So, if she's up for it, I'd go into it know nothing would come out of it...it wouldn't get her back, I know this...but it would be fun... This is all considering it's even a possibility... I'm heart broken over her...but to me the sex isn't what I miss about our relationship, it was great, and I know that I could sleep with her without it becoming an emotional thing for me... What would it do to our current "relationship" I don't know...it could almost make us more at ease with each other...who knows...the possibilty of it actually happing aren't all that good anyways...
  25. dikaia880
    true...but as I see it there's no way we'll be getting back together until at least I'm back at school...So, when I'm up there visiting...what would it really hurt? Once I go back to school I could cut it off, but in the meantime... Well this is all considering she'd even be up for it...I think she might shy away from it because she might worry what it would do to me emotionally as she knows she's given me mixed signals in the past and doesn't want to hurt me anymore... But you never know what happens...heck maybe it makes her remember the old times and miss me more...or not...but either way as long as I'm confident and don't let it get to me emotionally (or at least that what I show her) what would it really hurt?
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