Biffy
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Everything posted by Biffy
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Yeah, this has turned into a sickly thread... what happened to all the beer that was so readily flowing??
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Pass me one of those bad boys over and yes, that pic is me.... dressed up as slash for halloween but, yep dats me!
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Someone mention beer?
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What else can you do though? What else is there besides a genuine connection between people? It's the basis of any relationship I guess...
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Hey guys, my ex contacted me again today. If you don't know my story I'll include a bit of background for good measure. My ex split up with me, I begged as you do, then had a period of LC... as close as NC as possible as we work together. The less I responded to her daily contact and the more aloof I was the more she contacted me/ flirted with me. She was phoning me for b/s work reasons to change it into meaningless chat or just emaing/ im'ing me. It got to the point that she was contacting me one way or another up to 10 times a day. I reached the end of my tether and said - do you want to get back together with me? she said no, so I said then please don't contact me again unless you change your mind. That was about 2 weeks ago. She emailed me last week to wish me a happy birthday, I let that slide but this afternoon she IM'd me... it went like this - Her "Hi" Me "errrm... hi" Her "How's you?" Me "Great, especially as you want to get back together with me." Her "I didn't say that" Me "I asked you to only contact me if that were the case" Her "You were serious??" Me "As a heart attack" Her "oh." Blows my mind... Though may make one or two of you chuckle!
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No dude, you're being emotionally suicidal! You still love her, playing the friend card whilst still harbouring those feelings will eat you up inside and it won't work to "win" her heart back. If she wants to get back together with you... she knows your number. Until then, NC buddy.
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I think heloladies is right, that an ultimatum is required BUT after a period of time for her to reflect. Give her some space and THEN initiate contact, tell her how you feel and that you want her back - if she doesn't bite then move on.
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I bought myself one heck of a nice leather jacket... Honestly, I put it on and it's like well hello Mr. Stud-Muffin!
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Or even better, attach tiny mop heads to MJ's feet and watch her skate around the kitchen floor whilst simultaneously cleaning it - it's fun and practical! Thanks for the words there Lone, you've been a great help to me.
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Your friend is very lucky to have someone like you looking out for him. I think all you can advise him to do is to go NC for a while, give her some space to think about things and then ask her one last time to reconsider and then he knows for sure that it's over and he can move on.
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please please give me some advice
Biffy replied to kath123's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Well Kath, sounds to me that your ex thought the grass was greener and has very quickly found out that the grass was actually a mild diarrhoea kind of brown instead. He wants to have his cake and eat it too... Wants to keep trying with the lady he left you for but at the same time keep his foot in the door with you. Not nice at all. NC all the way. -
Baby steps Lone... I know what you mean about getting annoyed with yourself - it gets to the point that it just gets so old that you get bored with it. I've been doing pretty well recently but this weekend I decided to stay in by myself - In the past 3 months since my split I've hardly spent a night in by myself. So I thought I should stay home and take stock of all that's gone on in my life in the past few months. - Girlfiend (misspelt on purpose) splits up with me by email - WILL NOT leave me the hell alone to get over it. - An ex from years ago that I've become good friends with in the last year (even though when we were together for three years she cheated on me and screwed me out of a load of money) made a move on me! Unbelievable, I went for a drink with her after I helped her current boyfriend box up all of her recently deceased mother's belongings and then boom... she's all over me... all very weird especially considering how nice her boyfriend is. - I was in a car accident that left me with a grade 4 concussion, severely lacerated arms and 2 broken ribs. - A friend of mine selfishly decided to kill himself - My favourite aunt has been moved to a hospice after discovering she had terminal cancer. So yeah, quite a crappy couple of months. So I took stock as planned and cried like a new born... And as you say Lone, you get to the point where you look at yourself in the mirror and say - aren't you bored of this yet? And yes, I am. It helped though as I now know for certain that my ex wasn't good enough for me - seriously, she's not in my league as a person! But alas I do still love her but I'm not thinking about getting back together with her anymore, not at all so that's got to be a good thing. Wow, that kinda turned into a rant.... Anyway Lone, next margarita's on me.
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I'm no expert but if I received a text like that I would immediately think that my ex had put the friend up to it. When my ex split up with me I was bombarded by her friends over the course of the 1st 2 months all armed with bait and fishing rod... It's a bit odd if you ask me. When I have split up with people in the past I have never tried to remain friends of to check up on them - I just think it's more repectful and causes less hurt to both parties that way. I'd reply but give absolutely nothing away, tell the friend it was nice to hear from the person and say you hope to see them some time. And that's all.
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Well - what is it you want? Do you want to get back together with him? If so, do you think he wants the same - from what you said "he always thinks about me sexually" do you think he just wants a fwb deal... if so is that what you want?
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^^^^^^^^^^^^ Spot on. I'm in a similar position - it's my birthday on Wednesday and although I have made it very clear to my ex to only contact me if she wants to reconcile I think she will contact me to send me birthday wishes... If she does, do I respond, you know just a quick "thanks" or ignore??
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Yes, cards out on the table. Find out if she wants to get back together if not then back to nc you go.
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Half way down their legs! In all seriosuness - as long as it's nicely kept I'm not fussed.
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There's nothing pathetic about it - You love this girl and want her back, there's nothing pathetic about that at all. You just have to move on though I'm afraid, she's made her decision and nothing you can do will change her mind. All you can do is cut her out of your life - no relationship means no friendship either at least until you feel you don't want her in any romantic way. Work on you, worry about you. Apply negative thoughts of her each time a positive one pops into your head.
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You may "feel" that but what does your head say about the whole thing? I think you know that it won't change anything. NC all the way sir.
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Can be a whole host of things. For instance my latest ex I wasn't particularly attracted to her when I first met her - she has very large eyes which I immediately found a bit of a turn off. However once I got to know her I found her more and more sexy for various different reasons and ulitmately the thing I found sexiest about her were those big old eyes of hers! Attraction is odd.
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The question we all want answered?????!!!
Biffy replied to romanticlover's topic in Breaking Up Advice
I'm with you on that too... I hate the "fate card" my ex used in in a different way "I guess it just wasn't meant to be" disassociating herself from her on decisions and actions. -
Great thread Andy, very inspiring.
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Yep, you're missing a partner as mature as you! You sound like you have a good understanding of how relationships SHOULD work especially in that you shouldn't stop living your life ans spend all your time with your partner. As long as you don't let BIG issues slide then I can't see any problem with your handling of conflicts either. Maybe your only problem is finding a partner that's suited to you??
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You just haven't met the right guy yet. Some of us like a good sense of humour and fun!
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whats the cutest way of telling a girl you like her?
Biffy replied to FamousAmos's topic in Dating Advice
Maybe dressing up in a little bear costume or something and saying something like "I weally wike woo" (I really like you) Forget cute... Just tell her outright you like her (as confidently as you can) and ask her out somewhere. Good luck.