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ElektraHere

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Everything posted by ElektraHere

  1. ElektraHere
    1. Your ex friend he DID leave you. He left a long long time ago. You seemed to hold on to that mirage of a "loving" friendship. It is a great first step in recovery that you let him go. 2. You know the answer to that question. You have to know. You have to stop asking others and just do it. 3. Quit thinking so much. You have too much idle time on your hands. Go out enjoy the day. Go someplace. The beach, a park, a small little town to explore. Go out and buy that digital camera you wanted and go take pictures. Anything to get your mind off of thinking so much and to occupy your time.
  2. ElektraHere
    RW Scout took the words right out of my mouth. You are seeking things from the boards that either you dont want to take or hear. You also are transferring your dependency of T to the other friends. You must must must seek some sort of professional help so you can sort through all this. The board will be here but you are beyond getting advice of others you need a trained person to help get you back on the right track. Please for your own welfare and wellbeing seek that help for yourself
  3. ElektraHere
    I did the Atkins diet about 4 years ago. I lost about 20 pounds. It seems like "ahhh the holy grail of diets" BUT when you go off of it its the "hell of all diets." I loved it the first week and then I got really tired of cheese, meat, low carb veggies. I craved an apple the whole time. I didnt eat much fruit at the time so craving an apple only tells me my body was CRAVING it. Actually needed it. After I was off of the diet I gained half of it back. Since then I have lost 30 pounds by increasing my activity level. Taking the stairs when I can, parking farther away from the door at the stores, and so on and so on. When they say moderation and exercise is the name of the game it is. I also think one can eat whatever in moderation if they incorporate physical activity. The point I am getting at is I would NOT reccommend the Atkins diet. It is really hard on the body. Just my two cents.
  4. ElektraHere
    Regardless if he was single, split up, or on a "break," he is with her and not you. If he was truly not with her he wouldnt have moved. You got involved with someone who was obviously "playing the field." We all learn from each relationship. The lesson you learned from this is to ask a few more questions in regards to past relationships. When was the last one, how did it end, or is there a possibility you would want to reconnect. Dont tell the friend its not your responsibility to inform her. He and only he alone holds that responsibility. Move on and know that any guy who moves to his g/f is NOT available.
  5. ElektraHere
    Sorry V, I have to concur with RK and Mystic. He was probably no I take that back he was feeding you what you wanted to hear. I would chalk it up as a bad decision and move ahead with your life.
  6. ElektraHere
    I think you can really like them and all but love not too sure. You need the physical connection, you need to see their quirks, you need to be able to look in their eyes and see whats inside. My hairdresser told me about her husbands friend who had an online relationship with a gal for quite awhile. He was in love so he went to go finally meet her and she was a obese 45 year old passing herself off as a 22 year old fit blonde. It turns out she was still married a mother and had used her daughters pictures to send to him. I think you can make an amazing connection through talking but the clencher is the physical connection. Plus didnt you say he is moving out to where you are? That is REALLY bold because you have never met.
  7. ElektraHere
    RW If you have health insurance you can look in the directory. Take some of the names and google them. Sometimes you can find Psych Assoc websites that specify what type of treatments they offer. What style they use, etc. Its just you have to do your due diligence. I think when you call to talk to them thats also when you ask questions. About their style and what exactly is your issues. If it doesnt work out then you pick another it really isnt that difficult. When you buy something dont you research a bit? Well you have to do the same with therapists too.
  8. ElektraHere
    Meds help some people because they act as a buffer. Meaning when your in the trenches of figuring out things the meds can help you get through that. Meds are not the magic cure all and you MUST remember that. What makes everything "cured" again goes back to what I said before. YOU! I guess I have my fears but not as strong as yours. It seems your afraid to live because you feel your not worth it. We all have our moments but you had surrounded your life around someone who was soooo bad for you. Little by little a part of you was picked away until you were left a pile of bones. Rewind all that. Start putting yourself back in the world and you will be alright. Remember that you WILL be alright.
  9. ElektraHere
    Again RW it is YOU that makes that choice not I, other Enotters, T, your family, or other friends. What I think you may be missing is in order to have control you must take all of it back. You have given it out to so many that you have actually lost the control. Time to reclaim it sister! The more control you have on your life the more grounded, happy, and strong you will be. Take it from someone who actually has been in therapy, has done the meds, and who once lost all the control.
  10. ElektraHere
    RW You can ask everyone in the world if therapy will help. The only for sure answer to that is with you. You have to want the change, you have to want to move forward, and you will have to start making decisions for yourself for the best you possible. Plain and simple. Doing is not just biding your time it is actually getting up, dusting yourself off, and putting one foot in front of the other. Do what is in YOUR best interest. It doesnt matter what I or anyone else here tells you. It is YOUR truth, YOUR life, and YOUR well YOU!
  11. ElektraHere
    RW ~ I can't emphasize this more but you must start living. Its like you are living a life in your own jail. T was not a healthy relationship. What he does and did to you are not what a real friend is. Like RayKay said find something to do. Be it exercise, class, art workshop, a job. ANYTHING!! I was unemployed all last Spring and Summer I can tell you I really started to go batty. My friends and family wanted me to do something to occupy my time. Well I signed up for school, really got serious about finding a job, and eventually got my life back on track again. All the time you live "on hold" is time you can not get back. You really need to get out of the pity party mode (I dont mean that in a b!tchy sense) and start living. Motivate yourself. That is the best medicine...motivation.
  12. ElektraHere
    Sukerbut, You really need to move on from this. Go back to some of your last posts. You were happy, confident, and seemed well on your way. Its like you are almost around the board and you seem to pick up the "Go to jail" card again and again. Get out of the Monopoly she has on you and move on.
  13. ElektraHere
    Regardless about the phone he lied lied lied!!! I would not trust anything he had to say.
  14. ElektraHere
    Sorry but why is it people always use the excuse that they are separated? He wasnt honest upfront what makes you think he will be upfront about other things. He just wants to have his cake and eat it too. Get up, put one foot in front of the other and walk away from this and him. No good can come on anything based on dishonesty.
  15. ElektraHere
    Well I think the reason why NC isnt working for you is you still have hopes of getting back together. I would also say throw the camera it doesnt work and neither does this relationship anymore. Time to move on and really move on.
  16. ElektraHere
    You may not contact him but what are you doing for you in the meantime? Are you out and about living your life or counting the days that you havent contacted him? NC is all about you remember that.
  17. ElektraHere
    Well the only for sure thing is to get rid of the little things. But that is not an option. I am stumped. I can't imagine taking medication constantly so I can keep a pet. My mom and my friend are the same way they have HORRIBLE allergies but they wont get rid of the culprits that cause it the cats and the dogs. Why is it people who are allergic to pets keep them and relegate themselves to unessesary medications?
  18. ElektraHere
    I am sorry for how you feel. I also know alot about anxiety. Are you on any sort of medication? When I get really anxious over something I take Passionflower drops. It is an instant reliever of that anxiety. Check with local homeopathic stores in your area. I know that when we break up with a person we love it is like this pain that wont go away. The thoughts invade our minds at all hours. The fact is it does get better. There is no timeline on when a person should "start getting over it." You must in order to move ahead. This could be a gray cloud with that proverbial silver lining. Keep posting here we are here to help.
  19. ElektraHere
    Then obviously she knows the buttons to push with you and you dont trust her. Put those two things together equals a troubled relationship. Which is not set for success but pain and agony, struggle and mistrust. Not good my friend not good at all.
  20. ElektraHere
    Being a control freak and showing respect and love are two whole different things. I think you are getting the two mixed up. I want a man to care about me, respect me, and show me love. Not control me, forbid me from people, etc. She obviously isnt going anywhere with this guy so why are you worrying about it? Also kind of a double standard that you are talking to your ex no less and that is alright. WHAT???? You may think your intentions are good but they are very destructful. Its bound to destroy any relationship.
  21. ElektraHere
    I think you first should rationalize this. She is telling you what is happening right? She is saying no to the advancements right? I think if forbidding her to talk to someone is a bit extreme. Is she not allowed to have friends or guy friends. This may sound mean and its not meant that way but Im sorry the world does not revolve around you. Meaning not everything is about you. If you keep up this insecurity and worry you will eventually do what you are so afraid of....pushing her away and out the door.
  22. ElektraHere
    Sweetdreamer I am sorry that you are feeling this way again. Perhaps you just werent ready to resume a relationship (friendship) with him yet. I would say just try and move forward. I know easier said than done but in order for this pain to go away its a must. Try to think of it as you tried it didnt work to the results you had hoped for. Pick yourself up and dust off and move on down the road
  23. ElektraHere
    No just women.. Too many risks to take the chance with Accutane. I knew a girl who took it and on the pill pack for it there was a No Baby sign on the package. A baby with the no insignia over it.
  24. ElektraHere
    Accutane is very very risky to use. You must be under a DRs watch with that stuff. You also must take birth control pills and I think sign a contract saying if you were to become pregnant you would abort. Accutane causes SERIOUS birth defects. Plus it can cause liver damage. Try other avenues before Accutane.
  25. ElektraHere
    Sometimes extra oily skin is actually dry skin in disguise. You are probably thinking WHAT??? If you use the wrong products to cleanse with your skin will produce more oil to compensate for the products results. What types of products do you use on your face? Facial cleanser, makeup, etc. Also do you eat alot of meat and dairy? I know when I did Atkins long long ago my skin seemed to be oilier than usual.
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