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byates5637

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Everything posted by byates5637

  1. byates5637
    Brilliant. If only i thought of this before. If there was a way i could of explained all my intellectual interests to my ex-girlfriends in terms of fashion maybe they wouldn't be ex-girlfriends. lol
  2. byates5637
    Ailec - I rejected my religion as a kid because of serious doubts i had in my mind. I still am not religious. I just feel that no one really has a better explanation for why we exsist besides the "god" explanation
  3. byates5637
    Belinda- I would actually prefer a girl who has her own opinion on issues. I like open debate. I don't really want a girl who is just going to agree with me. I have a very open mind to things and i love when someone can show me a new perspective.
  4. byates5637
    I'm sorry keenan. Didn't mean to make a generalization about women or anything. I know there are plenty of women interested in this kind of stuff. Just kind of wanted to survey the people here and see how many would like this vs. how many wouldn't. I am a bit confused and lost right now. I have spent the last 6 years of my life in 2 long term relationships with girls that hated when i tried to talk about this stuff. I just don't really know much about casual dating i guess.
  5. byates5637
    try this-- After you do a little foreplay or whatever to get each other in the mood, take a seat in a chair or a stool. Your computer chair will probly work fine. Tell her (don't ask) to get on top of you, facing you, and ride you. Let her do this for a few minutes until it looks like she is getting a little fatigued. Then, without saying anything, stand up holding her like a reverse piggy back. rest her back against a wall if you need to, and start going at it. She will love this. Note: make sure you are stong enough to support your girls wieght for at least a couple minutes or you may just embarrass yourself/make her feel fat.
  6. byates5637
    This is a question for all the ladies out there. I am a multi-faceted guy with many interests. I like doing "normal" guy stuff like going out to bars with friends, parties, playing pool, etc. But my one true passion in life is the pursuit of knowledge. I love all kinds of science related things. I love discussions about the origins of the universe, the role of God in science, new technology, computers, etc. My ex girlfriend never liked when i tried to talk about this stuff. So ladies, is this a turn off in general if a guy tried to talk to you about something like science or foreign affairs? Do you think it would make me come accross as pretentious? Should i save these conversations for only with my buddies at college?
  7. byates5637
    I never saw the benefits of living under an authoritarian regime until right now. We must immediately switch production from guns and bombs to cheater tags.
  8. byates5637
    You have only been dating this guy for 7 weeks. Usually that is not enough time to really love someone. If you plan on being with him for a while i think you have to tell him now. If i were you i would be more worried about how you made your ex feel. Is he not over you yet? Make sure he knows that there is nothing between you two.
  9. byates5637
    I am really a wreck from my recent breakup. I am finding it nearly impossible to give up hope of us getting back together even though i know she doesn't want me. I obsess about her all day. I barely eat anymore. I cannot stand the lonliness. Is there a time when i decide my pain is too much for a normal break-up and seek a therapist? Has anyone here had any experience going to see a therapist, and did it actually help you? edit- And if you do seek a therapist, how do you go about finding one that specializes in the area you are having trouble with?
  10. byates5637
    Hey shamus I feel your pain man. I am going through a very similar situation right now. Me and my ex are broken up for the 2nd time now. She dumped me one month ago. Just like you, i cannot understand how a girl can one week tell you she loves you every night, talk about a future together, and the next week just walk out of your life. My relationship was also filled with fighting and pain. Of course there were good times too, and i wanted to work to make the good times more and bad times less. She wanted to give up and move on. It hurts man, it hurts so freakin much. I did a month of NC and was feeling slightly better. Then she started calling alot and saying she wants to start spending time with me again. I said why did you break up with me then, and her reply was "i didn't think that it was working." So of course i get all excited and think she wants to give it anoyher shot. We hang out yesterday and today, and now i feel crushed. She told me there is nothing between us anymore. Keep doin NC man, it isn't worth getting hurt again. If you need to talk i'm here man...you can PM me.
  11. byates5637
    I just got back from my ex's house. We just laid around all afternoon. Nothing good came of it. Basically we had more relationship talk and she still doesn't want to get back together with me. I should of stuck to NC because i feel terrible now. I feel as bad as i did the day we broke up, if not worse. I think i am ready to go back to NC. I didn't tell her this so she may still try to call me or see me. I know for sure i am not going to be contacting her at all. But I still havn't decided if i am going to ignore her when she tries to contact me. She told me directly that she just doesn't feel the same about me anymore, but i still can't get hope out of my head. I still keep thinking that maybe one day, maybe if i play my cards right, we will get back together. I know this is very unhealthy but how can i control my own thoughts? I need help changing the way i think so i can move on and let go. I have been thinking about maybe seeing a councelor/therapist. Does anyone have any experience with this actually helping?
  12. byates5637
    I am weak right now. Even after reading your advice, and knowing in my heart NC is the right thing to do, i just called her. I asked her if she wanted to hang out this afternoon. She said yea, when she wakes up a little more she will call me back and we will hang out. She said she only wants to hang out if it is just as friends. I feel so weak right now that i agreed. I have been so strong for the last month. I stuck to NC and was starting to heal. Now i feel like i am brought to my knees. I couldn't resist but to call her. Over the summer we broke up and she acted the same way. She just wanted to be friends. I didn't try to get the relationship back, i just hung out with her as friends. After a couple weeks she decided she wanted me again and we got back together. I think this is what keeps giving me hope. I wish i could find the strength to do NC again.
  13. byates5637
    Yea i have the same problem for the last week. I think when i am truly ready to give up on my ex-girlfriend, I am going to have to give up on enotalone too. It is kind of like a constant reminder.
  14. byates5637
    Me and ex dated 3 years. I am the only "real" boyfriend she has ever had. The only man she has ever loved. We have been broken up for almost a month. I did NC for the whole time after day we broke up. She started calling alot this week when she was on vacation and called as soon as she got home. I agreed to hang out with her for a little while last night. A little while turned into all night. We had good chemistry. I could feel that she was into me. We started talking about relationships (I know, bad idea). I basically told her that i'm still in love with her and want to give things another chance. She told me that she just wants to be "best friends". She said she is to young (21) to be in this relationship any longer. She said it didn't work(It didn't we fought all the time). She got way to drunk and slept at my house. She tried to sleep on the floor in my room. I woke her up and said i needed to talk so she got in my bed and we snuggled. In the morning when we woke up she didn't want to snuggle anymore. I tried to talk relationships a little more and she still didn't want anything besides being my "best friend" She just left 5 minutes ago. She sent me mixed signals. I relapsed after a month of NC. I miss her like crazy right now. I love her to death and wish things worked out differently. She doesn't have many friends or a job, so she is not busy very often. I know i could see her fairly often if i wanted to. Maybe even tonight again. Do i go back to NC again, or is there a chance that things will still work out with us? Should i keep her in my life and give time to see if her feelings for me return?
  15. byates5637
    As i am slowly realizing that my ex is really missing what we had together, and she is really questioning wether she made the right decision is ending it, i feel like i am gaining power. I am going to be the one in control. I have the power to see her when i want, or not at all. I have the power to dictate what we do together or what we don't do. I have the power to let her back in my heart or not. I am not one to play games. But my ex messed up my life, and if she is really serious about wanting another chance i am going to make her prove it beyond a doubt. If she gives up and walks away i am ready for that too. I have been alone for the past month and i can do it for many more months if i need too. Don't get me wrong, i am not going to be "controlling". I am just going to live my life exactly like i want to without bending for her right now. I did that enough in the past. If she wants me bad enough, she can try to fit in my life when it is convienent for me. And i will take her back and love her with all my heart if she can prove her love for me.
  16. byates5637
    Definitly need more details. The answer to your question depends on how long you have been together for. I think a month in advance is asking way too much though. Where is there any room to be spontaneous when you have to always have your life scheduled a month in advance? I wouldn't be able to deal with that. I think this would be more reasonable. At the end of the weekend when you are spending time with him, you and him agree on the next time you will see each other. Or better yet, just don't talk about it at all. If you are secure in the relationship, you shouldn't even need to make plans that often. Just expect him to call you, or you call him. You don't need to go through every weekend for the next month making plans.
  17. byates5637
    First of all, go ahead and be a jerk. No reason to be nice to someone after they treat you like that. Say whatever you want Second, it sounds really strange that she wants you to text the last 4 digits of your credit card. DO you think she would ever try to scam you (Credit card fraud?) Why wouldn't she just text YOU the last 4 digits and ask if it was yours? Third her grammer is that of a middle school student. Be glad she is out of your life.
  18. byates5637
    Great advice cooolsome. I Already know that though. Last summer i made every mistake that you just warned me about and it was horrible. Where were you last summer? lol just kidding. It is still good to be reminded of how to act though thanks -brandon
  19. byates5637
    So my ex called me this afternoon and i ignored it but called back in the evening. She said the reason she called me was because she was having a bad panic attack and she knows i can make her better. She apologized and said she knows she shouldn't call me for something like that. She was in a rush so she had to go, she was at dinner with friends. It turns out she is coming home from her trip early. Tomorow they are leaving. She said she wants to see me when she gets back to give me back a CD of mine. Something else happened that is kind of hard to explain but i will try. Before i talked to my ex today, my friend Jon told me that the reason she broke up with me was to go mess around with guys on her trip. He said he heard that from a reliable source. So i asked my ex about it and she denied it of course. About 10 minutes later i get a call from my good friend Matt who is dating my ex's best friend who is on vacation with her. He said my ex just called him freaking out. It turns out my friend Jon really just made up that story to make me hate my ex so i can move on. Matt tells me that he has been talking to his girl 3 times a day and he knows for a fact that my ex has not tried to get with any guys down there. He also tells me that he hears my ex is thinking about getting back together with me. He said my ex sounded heartbroken when she called. She said to him..."I love brandon (me). I cannot stand that he is thinking i am a sl*t like that" He said she seems conflicted as to what she wants with me, but that she still loves me very much and most likely will try to get back together with me. So i really hope my ex does try to get back together. But i am going to need some serious promises and commitment from her for me to accept. I will see her either tomorow or the next day. I'll let you all know how it goes.
  20. byates5637
    How much do you weigh? are you seriuosly overwheight to the point where it harms your health? Even if you are, i'm sure it is harming you worse to obssess about it all the time. If you really do need to lose weight, try excersize and cardio instead of diet pills and laxitives. Much more healthy and you will feel alot better about yourself. If you are in the "normal" weight range and you still feel like this you should go see a therapist.
  21. byates5637
    I know the feelings man. It sucks. Im there right now except i havn't had to see my ex yet. Next week we are going to "hang out" so i'll see how that goes... Anyway, 1 month of no contact is not that long at all. While it is something for you to be proud of, it is just a start to getting over her. Just give it a few more months and you will really be feeling better. Try to avoid her as much as you can and also try to meet new girls, it helps alot -good luck
  22. byates5637
    Thanks man i hope she doesnt mess around either. Actually the girl she drove there with (her best friend) is not single. She is in a serious relationship with one of my good friends. So hopefully my ex spends most of her time with this girl and not the single girls
  23. byates5637
    Yea actually she is on spring break in south carolina with 5 of her single girlfriends. I was suposed to be going with her this week. THe idea of her fooling around with other guys did bother me and still does. But that is not really why i sent her a text message...i just wanted to open up comunication between us again and I was really starting to miss her. I doubt she will fool around with any guys, but even if she does...oh well. Even if she does mess around down there, it is not like she will ever see the guy again anyway considering it is about 650 miles away from here. She has been faithful to me for 3 years... so i'm not to worried about it
  24. byates5637
    My full story is elsewhere on enotalone. I have been dating this girl for 3 years. We have broken up a few times in the past, but always got back together with even more passion then before we broke up. Well she dumped me 3 weeks ago and i really thought that it was the end. I told her that i did not want a friendship because i felt like she betrayed me by breaking it off when she did. I did not beg for her back or show any weakness. I went right into NC and it lasted 3 weeks, until yesterday. Yesterday i couldn't take it anymore, i had to break NC. I sent 1 text. A simple "hey how ya doin" She immediately sent back 2 texts and called me in like 10 seconds. So it turns out she didn't call at all over last 3 weeks because she thought i hated her. She said she had to fight the urge to call me many times. It sounded like she has been missing me as much as i have been missing her. We had a good light 15 minute conversation. I did not tell her that i want her back or that i miss her or anything like that. She is on vacation this week. She asked a couple times if we could "starting hanging out again" when she gets back from her trip. I reminded her that last time we tried to hang out as friends it escalated right back into a romantic relationship. She simply agreed and said "yea". Basically it seems like she really really misses me in her life and she wants me back as soon as possible. But from the one phone call I cannot tell if she just wants a best-friendship or if she wants to be my girl again. Well the phone call was yesterday and I am waiting to hear from her again. I am not going to initiate the next contact. I want my ex back very bad, and i am very sad without her. But i am not going to persue her, she must persue me if she wants another chance, because she ended it. She is not coming back from her trip until sunday, i wish i didn't have to wait so long to see her. I'll post any updates on here, hopefully pretty soon. Any advice is much appreciated.
  25. byates5637
    There is always hope for a second chance. But you cannot make her love you again. All you can do is sit back and watch what happens. Live your life like there will not be a second chance...and maybe one day you will get your second chance.
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