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PlayBrat

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  1. PlayBrat
    Maybe this is the wrong forum to post ..so I apologize in advance... I've decided to make contact with my ex for the first time in almost 5 months. Just going to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving..and yes I am going to tell him I met someone I like very much (which is true). That I hope he is happy, and basically wish him well. Our main issue was bad timing when we broke it off..it wasn't really anything mean or nasty. I don't expect a reply, so if I don't get one that is quite alright. I want to settle this in my heart. Thanks for reading my post.
  2. PlayBrat
    Take a deep breath.....and calm down. Do a lot of stuff today leading up to the event...go shopping if you have time...get a pedicure. Work out..get rid of all that nervous energy. You'll feel more calm and relaxed... WHATEVER you do...do NOT sit around ALL day waiting for the event... you'll build up scenerios and expectations in your head...that's dangerous. Just stay super busy....this way you're not pinning ALL your hopes on this ONE meeting. Hope it all goes well!
  3. PlayBrat
    Mask.. She may LIKE you...but thats it. If she wanted to BE with you...you would know it. Go NC on her....that will tell you where she stands.
  4. PlayBrat
    Yes CatLover..it is SO easy to give the advice we refuse to take ourselves! Why is that?? At any rate, I AM taking everyones advice into consideration. The consensus seems to be if I feel strong enough to handle whatever happens..no matter WHAT..then it's safe to contact him.....pretty sound advice to me
  5. PlayBrat
    Hi... I work with someone who is quiet...a woman. I have learned to appreciate this quality about her since so many others ARE so "gossipy" and chit chatty....Maybe one day you could mention this to her. I think it could just be the way she is...and you may be taking it personal. I learned to just accept my co worker as she is and not assume the worst simply because she isn't talking my ear off.... Just my opinion...
  6. PlayBrat
    Flighty, Hi. It sounds like you're being a bit self centered in this situation. You told him he should move out...and when he did you get crazy...making demands etc. That in itself is pretty mean. The guy is probably completely confused by now. You can't dismiss someone and expect them to come back on your terms when you're ready. That is a very hurtful and disrespectful way to treat someone you claim to "love". It sounds like you "love" him when he does things they way YOU want them done. It doesn't work that way... You need to apologize for your actions and kiss some butt for a while if you want him back...
  7. PlayBrat
    Thank you RC.....that was my intention. To not read too much into anything IF I do contact him. I am NOT going to allow him the chance to hurt me again in that way.....believe me. The price is simply to much for me. Besides....I have myself a little Hottie I am talking to anyway...and IF the subject comes up...Mr Ex will know about it. lol
  8. PlayBrat
    I don't have hope for a reconciliation...I am too leery of him dumping me again. I won't put myself in that position again. I haven't made a decision yet...I'm holding off. I appreciate the input though...and if I decide to make contact I'll let you all know the outcome Thanks so much.
  9. PlayBrat
    RC... He ended it with me...because of "bad timing". I didn't want the break up..but I stuck to NC. Thanks
  10. PlayBrat
    LOL Chai....the fish story is funny... I wasn't going to make up an excuse to talk to him....but the holidays are a starting point I guess. I just hope things go well.. (crossing my fingers). Thanks so much
  11. PlayBrat
    Not sure if many remember me. I originally posted back in May or June. Have been broken up from my ex since then. It took a while but I finally let him go. So it's been over 5 months since I have contacted him... I am awesome.... I am just wondering what you all think of me emailing him...to just say hi. I am thinking of doing this with a legitimate excuse...ie, the holidays. Either Thanksgiving or Christmas. I haven't decided. I have no expectations...and I am pretty much prepared for whatever happens. Is five months long enough? Do you all think he will have forgotten the reason we stopped talking, and be open to me? I have thought of contacting him many many times..but have never acted on it. No real reason to. I guess I have just been thinking of him a lot lately....and just curious to how he is... Advice? Thanks!
  12. PlayBrat
    Hey Dan I PM'ed you...but listen, you need to relax!! It's only 11 a.m! This will be a grand total of maybe 6 times you will see this girl. Believe me it is NOT paramount that you talk to her yet. Do you think she will be turned on knowing you are sweating her like this?? To be honest I think you really NOT ready to date someone even remotely seriously. This is a testament to that. I think you might want to consider this girl as just a "friend" that you hang out with sometimes, because you are putting way too many expectations on this for being what it is. Theis girl is treating this situation the way YOU should be.....casually. No expectations. Please stay calm.
  13. PlayBrat
    Doug... I have those same "up and down" days. I can totally relate to how you feel. Your ex sounds like she is not sure what she wants. I can say..as a woman ..I change my mind a lot. It is frustrating not only for OTHER people..but for myself as well. Our needs change day to day...and some days we think we NEED or want something more than others. I think women go through this a LOT more than guys...due to hormonal changes , etc. Don't be surprised if you DO hear from her again...and then she leaves again. I am not speaking for ALL women, I am just trying to give you a female point of view from someone who has been where your ex is. I can't tell you HOW to react, because thats not my place..but for ME..I always appreciated someone who was more stable than I was at these times...and who even though they didn't UNDERSTAND me..accepted me despite these times. ..and yes, I always went back. Hope that helps some.
  14. PlayBrat
    I must say this for you Dan...for whatever reason, your posts ALWAYS generate a LOT of responses, so you must have SOME appeal
  15. PlayBrat
    Dan.... I know you appreciate STRAIGHT up and HONEST advice, so here it is. As a woman... you are right I would be repelled by your actions. You just met this woman. She doesn't owe you anything ..nor you her. I understand if you feel upset and bad about your actions...but you need to CHILL! Women like and respect a guy who can keep his emotions in check. You are all over the map here. My advice about Thursday would be to delay the meeting until perhaps next week. Get your bearings...and give her some space. Don't cancel on her..just say you think it might be better for you both if you take a step back..and then start over. My reason for this is because I think you will still be over apologizing and worrying ...also by YOU delaying the meeting..it will put YOU a little more in control again emotionally. I think she will respect this approcah...rather than you jumping all over the opportunity to see her. Don't squeslch the fire before it has time to heat up..... You'll be fine. Just relax.
  16. PlayBrat
    Hey Gradle.... I'm in NO way disappointed in you. In fact I see you as more human than ever. I hope you have a better day today Hang in there. I will also give you my AOL IM if you would like to talk sometime. You me and Hope can chat..lol. How's that?
  17. PlayBrat
    Hahaha Gardens...I like your thinking . My ex is a HUGE college football fan. I should hex them for the next five years..then randomly email him..."Sooo how's Penn State Doing?" LOL I can imaging him seething.lol
  18. PlayBrat
    Hiya BuzzBee..... I have followed this thread and you are an inspiration to me. I am SO elated that you are at this point. I agree with Napolean...you do seem very sweet and sincere. I also am NOT trying to get a "date'...plus I'm female LOL I think your ex is having regrets about breaking up with you and you're NC is driving him CRAZY!! Why in the world would he need to tell you he's dating someone and is VERY happy?? lol Unreal!! Please keep us posted! This should be a blueprint on HOW and WHY doing NC works!!!
  19. PlayBrat
    DN is right...wait it out. He likely is expecting to hear from you....since he knows you now regret your decision. Most people find it annoying when someone says one thing then does another...it makes you seem weak and flaky. I am VERY guilty of being that way in the past. We ALL have our moments of weakness..believe me, I wish I had found this site a few years ago....lol I would have learned SO much more..and would have saved myself a lot of heartache. Listen to the advice here...believe me it does help. Another thing you might want to do... while I am posting ....is to distract yourself with other things. I am going to start volunteering soon. It is very beneficial..it makes you feel like you are doing something worthwhile and good. This has been a VERY theraputic thing for me during past breakups. It fills in those "empty" times as well.... Keep us posted
  20. PlayBrat
    Don't beat yourself up over this....HE isn't worth it. Did he say anything other than the fact he didn;t want to be in a relationship? Did anything lead up to that? I am sure many of your unanswered questions are what keeps you stuck and wondering....but you know what? Some people just really suck at dealing with any conflict and would rather take the easy way out by running. In the long run is that someone you would want to be with? Someone who runs at the first sign of trouble or who doesn't even have the integrity to give you answers you deserve? I wouldn't. This is an indication of the type of person this guy is....and you are much much better off without him. Consider this a blessing in disguise. Best of luck to you
  21. PlayBrat
    Alphonsepha... You did everything RIGHT in this situation believe me. This woman sounds like a basketcase who would suck the life out of you. You are FAR to good of a guy for that! This kind of reminds me of the movie Forrest Gump. Look at how long Forrest put up with Jenny's crap.....of course he WASN'T the brightest crayon in the box either....but my point is that people like that probably really do NOT know how to appreciate something really GOOD. It takes years of counseling for them to be able to function normally in a heealthy relationship. Don't ever beat yourself up over this kind of thing...there was NOTHING you could have done differently other than what you did. At least you can sleep at night knowing you WERE a good ,decent loving guy. Totally HER loss....and I bet if she saw you with another woman, she would kick herself...which she should. Let her go.....she does not deserve you.
  22. PlayBrat
    Mt...I admire AND respect the efffort you have put forth. You seem like a GREAT guy...BUT here is the test. Can you be indifferent and somewhat "arrogant" with this woman? That may be in order I'NOT saying be a jerk by any means...but being little a little indiffernt and arrogant can go a long way Are you funny?? If you are...make her laugh. Be ANYTHING but "clingy".....god women hate that... Women like men to be strong, tough...and yes....even indifferent..BUT...we ALSO want you to have a heart..just not a bleeeding heart. We need to know YOU can rescue us.....IF we need it., but we also need to know you admire and love us for being able to rescue ourselves!!!! Laugh at our foibles..find them "endearing"...but be proud if we can change a flat tire at 2 a.m. by ourselves in a downpour..... Get my Drift? Women want you tell them you find them absolutely ADORABLE.we want you to stroke our hair...and tell us about your day.... We want you to tellus about that hot chick you met...BUT how much better or gorgeous we are compared to her.....believe me....we DO listen! On the other hand..a woman who CARES or wants to be with you..will listen...care...and reciprocate your thoughts AND feelings. Just remember that. Hope that helps some.
  23. PlayBrat
    I just wanted to give a few thoughts for those who are home pining, crying, or HOPING against all hope that they may get back with an ex....whether it be because of a break up...a "break"..or whatever...that there IS hope. Hope is all we have. Why do we hang in there? For that OCCASIONAL crumb of niceness? Or that ONE email that we dissect for a week....wondering what it REALLY means??? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we check our phones incessantly for even a "missed call" that went unanswered? Or just a chance meeting?? Why do we feel like such LOSERS because this ONE person on a planet of BILLIONS, does not want us anymore? Why do we beat ourselves up and live in misery?? It all comes down to US. This person does NOT control our thoughts, our actions OR our emotions. We are in complete control. This is what HAS been lacking all along. We gave THEM all the control. They know this...and they abuse it. They WANT us to take that control back....this is absolutely paramount to them gaining respect in us again. No one respects the weak ...or the insecure. So to anyone who is going through a breakup...or who wants an ex back......LET THEM GO.....and get yourself back!!!!! Be the best YOU you can be...with or WITHOUT them. It truly DOES begin with you......be true to yourself..and the rest will follow...
  24. PlayBrat
    Hmmmm...sounds like he's finally realizing he is REALLY going to be away from you...I think that's going to hit him hard once he's gone. I think he still has feelings for you, ...and yes I think he's being honest about not seeing anyone. Are you going to tell him about C?
  25. PlayBrat
    Hey Gradle.... I think you try to talk yourself into the worst possible scenerio as far as J is concerned..I KNOW because I did the EXACT same thing to my recent ex!!! It drove him UP THE WALL. If I didn't hear from him or he didn't say what I THOUGHT he should I would make crazy accusations or assumptions, and truthfully, he just got tired of it. I admit...What I did was probably a self fullfilling prophecy. I set myself up for failure...so that's what happened. This is what YOU need to avoid doing. Don't assume the worst. I was cheated on by my husband with my best friend early last year....and truthfully it nearly destroyed me. I should have dealt with things then...but instead I got involved with another man (my ex)...and this is where we are now. I don't mean to hijack your thread...but the point I am making is that I should have dealt with my insecurity issues LONG before I even gave another guy a thought. Period. I would have been a MUCH better partner. Personally I think you hanging out with C is not a very good idea..because you seem to be transferring those "needy" feelings over to C when J isn't available or when you're feeling down. This is WHY it is important that you spend alone time..and find who YOU are. Think about it...
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