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PlayBrat

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  1. PlayBrat
    Shorty I know how you feel. Not getting answers to your questions is the worst kind of dumping you can get..it's cruel and heartless in my opinion. This happened to me as well, and I STILL kick myself for thinking about him....but damn it hurts. I also resorted to drinking a lot, but all that did was hurt me...and make me do stupid things...like email him repeatedly asking for closure..then getting accusatory and mean...but the truth is he could have made it easier by just being honest. There's nothing I can say to make you feel better. Just more time...and I would suggest attending a few AA meetings. I have and learned it was MUCH more than just drinking I had issues with.
  2. PlayBrat
    I think that you should tell him that you are NOT going to wait around forever, and then cut off contact. He has left you without giving you ANY time frame as to when he's coming back...that's IF he does. He is assuming you will probably always be there. YOU count too...he has not taken your feelings into consideration....so maybe he DOES need to lose you for REAL. Take care of YOU for a while and you may decide you are better off without him.
  3. PlayBrat
    Even if he IS sorry...he's still got issues with being honest.I bet he only cried because he got caught!! I think his true colors arelready came through...don't think you will be the one to change him. Better you found out now after only two months....look at this as a sign.
  4. PlayBrat
    Yes, Scout it was not the best of endings...since then things have changed dramatically. On MY end anyway. Yes, he may not want to hear from me, and he may NOT respond, but that's ok. I won't fall apart because of it. If he does he does ..if not then oh well....I have my answer. My past posts probably do not put me in a very favorable light regarding this guy. I'm not looking for the "green light" in contacting him..I am simply saying I am in a much better place NOW as opposed as I was then....and I DO believe timing is everything with relationships.
  5. PlayBrat
    Oh boy..we went back and forth for a while. We both had a lot of issues. He ended it the final time though. It's complicated. Haley, thanks for the insightful reply..especially the last part. I know he would not have contacted me even if he wanted to. I know it's not his style. I think my best course of action is to simply wish him a warm Happy Birthday, wish him the best and expect no reply....I'll keep you all posted. Thanks!
  6. PlayBrat
    You have a good point Beth. It was bad timing. I then moved out of state, and even if he DID attempt to contact me, he couldn't as my email account was cancelled and my numbers disconnected. I truly DID move on. I know there are a lot of NC advocates here. I agree with the reasons we should initially do NC...but how would we know if things can work out if we never risk trying again? I personally believe a long period of NC IS necessary. I know the stats are in favor of maintaining NC, but when do you know it's ok to try again?
  7. PlayBrat
    Hahahahahhaa SomeGuy..that was AWESOME!!!! I was ready to bust her kneecaps for you!!! LOL
  8. PlayBrat
    Ok...point taken. I'm not really a fan of playing games. I really WOULD like to wish him a happy birthday...I miss him. I would like to be honest with him to be truthful. I have no problem with telling him I would like him to reconsider a friendship with me again. Part of the reason we had a falling out was because I had a lot of issues I was dealing with last year..that I have finally begun to resolve..thus being in a MUCH better frame of mind. Although I am still not ready for a "relationship" I am willing to try getting to know him again, slowly, as I know he would need time to trust me again. I would like to send him an email telling him this..of course in much better terms.....any advice?
  9. PlayBrat
    Maybe I should have also asked HOW do you initiate a conversation in asking someone (assuming they are single) if they are willing to give you another chance to be friends...without sounding desperate or pathetic? I am neither...I want to convey that I truly WANT him in my life again, but that I won't fall apart if it doesn't happen.
  10. PlayBrat
    I would like to get back together eventually. I think I'm strong enough to contact him...but I know it would have to progress slowly again.
  11. PlayBrat
    Hey forum. I haven't posted here in quite a while. I was wondering what you all thought about sending my ex of 7 months a birthday wish via email. His birthday is at the end of June and there has been No Contact for close to 4 months. I am pretty much over him ut I don't want him to think I haven't moved on either....or that the email implies more than it is. Would most of you respond to a birthday wish from an ex after a period of NC? I just don't want to feel foolish. I am also not exactly sure what to say, aside from "Happy Birthday". Oh , if it helps, I WOULD like to find out how he is doing and to open the lines of communication again, in the least intrusive way. Any advice is appreciated!!
  12. PlayBrat
    LMFAO SomeGuy...OMG!!!!! HAHAHA
  13. PlayBrat
    From a female perspective....I think you can....but you can't be blatant about it. You can't just say "ok let's get it on"...you have to be more assertive and confident. That is a turn on ..at least for me. I tend to like guys who are a little cocky and show interest...but also aren't ALL over me. I don;t think you were challenging enough for her..even though you never made a move. You're in that 'friends" category..and the longer you remain there..the less your chances of moving things to another level will happen. Be less available to her....I mean don't be a jerk and stop calling her...just have a life. tell her you have a date.Don't talk to her for hours and hours like a girlfriend does. That's icky I know you think that will piss her off..but it will actually make her see you as more desirable. Trust me on this. She may not blatantly act jealous..but you WILL notice a change in her attitude.
  14. PlayBrat
    I completely understand Cool.....and you make some very valid points. I agree that Rick shouldn't talk to his ex AS often. I would cut it back...to even once every few weeks, rather than every week. I still agree with his strategy though..he is earning her trust back...by remaining in the background. He isn't forcing himself on her..and from what he says...the contact IS mutual. We ALL have ways we deal with things...and I got a lot of flack for contacting my ex...simply because I told my ex I was dating someone else. There were a few comments about how he would just see it as a "ploy" or not even really care....this type of judgement really bothers me. I would never force MY opinion down someones throat simply because it's not what I agree with. Every situation is different...and some people react to things differently. There is NO blueprint or patent on No Contact..there have not been No Contact experiments on Lab Rats saying THIS IS THE WAY TO DO THINGS!! Initially ..YES No Contact is by far the best thing ..but after the dust settles, anything is possible. Live and let live.....
  15. PlayBrat
    For the Girl Who's Been "Dissed"... Revision to Gloria Gaynors 'I Will Survive' At first I was afraid, I was petrified, when you said you had 10 inches Lord I almost died, but I'd spent oh so many years just waiting for a man that long, that I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on. But there you are, another lie, I was ready for a big Mac and you've bought me a French fry, I should have known that it was bull****, just a sad pathetic dream, should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans. Go on now go, walk out the door, don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4, weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out, don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count. Chorus: I will survive, I will survive, Cos as long as I have batteries, My sex life's gonna thrive, I will always have good sex with a handful of latex, I will survive, I will survive... hey hey. It took all my self control not to laugh out loud, When I saw your little wiener standing short and proud, But to hell with all your egos and to hell with all your needs, Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed. Go on now go, walk out the door, don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4, weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out, don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count PS......Now, where's a good karaoke spot?
  16. PlayBrat
    A 34 year old man acting like a 2 year old having a temper tantrum is what it boils down to. I don't blame you for feeling fed up. This guy needs serious help. I pity people like that....and if you stay thats exactly the reason you'd be doing it. Men like that only get worse and the more you give in to them ...the more control they will try to wield. You deserve to be happy....and you will never have happiness with this man. Ever. Glad you've decided to leave him...best of luck and be safe.
  17. PlayBrat
    NAtalie The book "Women Who Love Too Much" is excellent for women who are involved in relationships where the woman feels like she needs to "fix" the other person in some way. Or relationships that are unhealthy ..yet they are unable to give them up. I read it years ago...and it's one of the first books that helped me see a pattern I did not even realize I had. It's a real eye opener. Couldn't hurt to read...but remember, the only person you can TRULY help is yourself. Good luck!
  18. PlayBrat
    I just started talking to my ex again....and it was quite a while before he gave in and was willing to talk again. I think giving someone LOTS and LOTS of space initially after a breakup is essential. This is that phase when we are feeling our rawest emotions. Talking will only do more harm than good. After an initial period of NO Contact..INTERMITTENT contact...as a FRIEND is necessary to gain back that trust and comfort level with contact again. You broke up..your relationship is NO longer the same, so you HAVE to learn to communicate on a much different level again. I admire Ricks standpoint with his ex..because he seems to have HER best interest at heart..and isn't that what love is all about?? The OTHER persons best interest? Think about it..if Rick started hounding his ex about what she isn't giving HIM...she would shut him off like a switch. He is also right in saying he is NO longer with her...so he is NOT her first priority. Rick sounds like he has the slow but sure strategy....and I don't think his approach is that of receiving "crumbs". He is just not allowing his emotions take over and start demanding things on his terms. Remember the old story about the race between the tortoise and the rabbit? Who won?? There is some merit in not rushing things.
  19. PlayBrat
    OCD, I finally got a response from an ex ...and I think it was partly because I told him I am dating someone else. I did not tell him this to provoke a reaction but rather so he didn't think my intentions were to "get him back". I cannot say he replied out of jealousy (only HE knows that)..but after months and months of not hearing from him..THIS is what he responded to. I think you should go on this date. You are not with your ex..so you're a free agent, as she is. If she is jealous..so what? As you said SHE broke up with you and she has NOT said she wants you back...and truthfully, even if she did ask you back, going right back to her might backfire. My advice is to start over slowly...become friends..and let her see what she's missing.
  20. PlayBrat
    Liquid Cherry.... Congrats on a successful reunion. I am very happy for you. There are not very many happy endings in these situations..and sometimes we only get ONE shot to make it better. Make this time around count..and don't EVER settle for less than you deserve. You came a long way to get where you are.... Please keep us posted!!
  21. PlayBrat
    AC.... She's over you....let it go
  22. PlayBrat
    I contacted my ex and it went great. He was very happy to hear from me...His email was short but there was NO animosity. Just wanted to update everyone...and believe me I got a lot of flack for this choice. Remember contacting an ex does NOT always mean it needs to end up as a reconciliation. It means different things to different people, and not everyone is cynical and bitter in their hearts. It's ok to just want the best for that person, whether or not I was the person they wanted to be with. Loving someone is about what makes that person happy..not what makes YOU happy. No Contact is a choice we make when we want to heal US...when you are healed enough to know that person is NOT necessary for your happiness or you no longer feel the need to HAVE them...it is only then that contact is ok...otherwise it is fr the wrong reasons. Thanks for reading.
  23. PlayBrat
    Wow....well it's been five months. Where in my post does it sound like I still want him? I am simply writing to say hello and wish him a happy Thanksgiving...my reason for telling him I am with someone is so he does NOT think I am still pining for him. . Just because two people don't work out does not mean they have to hate each other..there is NOT always an agenda. So basically...it IS cut and dry.
  24. PlayBrat
    Natalie I've read through your posts and your last post says you were finally crying. That's a good sign..and it also means you are fnally letting go of that perfect image you had in your head about this guy. Tears are very healthy. Cry as much as you need to...it will heal you. Being angry motivates you..but it never heals you. This is near the last stage...sadness...next is acceptance. You'll be there soon.
  25. PlayBrat
    I used to....but I have moved on. I still think about him a lot and would like him in my life as a friend at some point.
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