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PlayBrat

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  1. PlayBrat
    Hey Settinup... First of all....your ex sounds REALLY classless to me..no offense. Why do you WANT her back? Would you want to be her current boyfriend? Standing there watching how she treated you over 2 measly dollars?? She has a lot of nerve to have even ASKED you if you have a girlfriend. Where does she get off?? Personally if it were ME..and some guy did that to me..I would have slammed the door in his face. I would have bought NEW movies. It's not worth the aggravation, sorry. Yes she is playing stupid juvenile head games with you, and she doesn't sound like a very nice person. I don't care what her motivations are. Just MY opinion.
  2. PlayBrat
    I have been following this post...and Gradle these people know what they are talking about. If nothing else at least take a little bit of what everyone has said and try to apply it as well as you can. You will fall now and then. That's ok. No one expects you to get it right all at once....it takes some falling to get back up again, and you'll realize you're standing longer and longer in between falls. It takes TIME! Don't beat yourself up if you aren't getting it exactly right...just be nicer to yourself, and treat yourself as if you've been injured...because it FEELS that way. Your heart is a gaping wound right now, you need to HEAL that. Don't try denying the hurt, the longer you try to cover it up with a "band aid"...the longer you will prolong your recovery. By covering up your pain I mean using temorary pleasure as a way to deny you are in pain. Going out and partying is GREAT, filling your time is certainly part of healing ..but allow yourself to actually grieve as well. The key is to maintain balance between obsesssion...and TRULY healing. When going through a break up...I would allow myself ONE day to mope or feel down..after that I would make myself do things for ME even if I wanted to stay in bed all day, or call him, or obsess. After awhile it just becomes automatic. Hang in there girl!!!
  3. PlayBrat
    Hurtandconfused... Been where you are...and it's counter productive to sleep with an ex...especially if they dumped YOU. Sending the email wasn't neccesary but if it reinforces your decision then there's nothing wrong with it. I wouldn't expect much of a reaction (from MY experience). I have found my reasons for sleeping with an ex were to also gain some ego gratification ..ie, "He still finds me attractive" etc, but in the end, I still ended up hating myself for it. So, in short...No sending the email wasn't wrong, sleeping with the ex wasn't wrong...I just wouldn't do either again. All the best to you.
  4. PlayBrat
    ' Hi Simon.... Sounds like she is "testing" you again...hence her comment "I suppose I am one of "those' you won't call again". What was the point of THAT comment? She's merely annoyed that you're not taking her bait. Do as you've been doing...remember..SHE broke up with YOU...until she actually says the words..."I want you back" ...live your life as if she's gone forever, otherwise you're setting yourself up for a fall. You're doing great!
  5. PlayBrat
    Hey Miss Lonely... In reply to your question...think about it... He asked you for your mobile number...I am no genius but that is HIS opening I would think. Yeah it might not mean that much and no you should NOT read too much into it but you can think of a million reasons why he asked. In my opinion..if YOU feel 100% strong enough to talk to him with NO expectations, then what will it hurt? It HAS been four months, no? Four months is quite a while to not talk to someone, and it gives you much to discuss...bt whatever you do...do NOT discuss whatever happened, or anything about relationships. Leave him wanting to talk to you more...and if you can...end the call first. I hope everything goes well
  6. PlayBrat
    Hmmm Gradle.... Are you sure you aren't Stacy from "Wayne's World"? ...
  7. PlayBrat
    Thanks HockeyBoy... I realize men and womens time lines differ as well. Someone made a point on another post that made a lot of sense..which is that 1 week to a woman is equivalent to 1 day for a guy...lol... I am not sure how true that is...but it makes a lot of sense. Yeah nights are harder as well...I hope things get easier with time. Thank you for your input
  8. PlayBrat
    Ok ...this is now on Page 20..and no one is making a dent here... Gradle...Lakergrl made an EXCELLENT point when she said 4-5 days is like 1 day to a guy.It is SOOOO true. Men do not sit around counting the days..(well most lol )..most NORMAL, healthy , balanced guys have things to do, and lives to lead...and MOST guys do not like drama and chaos in their lives. YOU are creating unneccesary drama and chaos in your and HIS lives by not maintaining your ability to be alone. This man has flat out told you what he wants. You are refusing to listen...you are holding on like a pitbull to a T-bone... girl give up. At least for a while. No one is saying this is forever...you cannot control what he does, regardless of how many cards you give him...which by the way is a REAL lame attempt at contact. Let his "friends" acknowledge his birthday..that is NOT your place or your responsibility anymore. Heck I would almost bet he's EXPECTING you to show up...prove him wrong. Take a day trip out of town that day.. to avoid temptation. Treat yourself as if it;s YOUR birthday...celebrate something... just remember..every action has a reaction, so think about it before you make a decison.... All the best...
  9. PlayBrat
    Hi all... I have been doing NC for only about 4 days... but I am posting here trying to gain some perspective and strength through others wisdom and encouraging words. I realize you are NOT to do NC as a way to get your ex back but as a way to move on for yourself and heal...however I know the majority of people initially do NC in hopes to gain the attention of the person they want back. I have read many many posts where the ex will contact again after a certain period. My question is..through all of this, was there ANY point you just thought..I mean REALLY thought they were never coming back? At what point did they contact you? Has anyone ever gone months and then heard from them? I am having a down night...thinking about him a lot...but not feeling weak. I have been very busy, but night time is especially hard for me. Any encouraging thoughts would be appreciated Thanks in advance...
  10. PlayBrat
    Caveat is right in everything he said in his post...follow his advice... he's a smart "cat"...lol By the way Caveat...how have things progressed? I have not seen an update on your posts lately.
  11. PlayBrat
    Dan... It is quite ok to think of doing this....you are hurt, and the feelings are raw right now. ..but please think this over before you act on anything. Remember..every action has a reaction. ..but in THIS case there be may be NO reaction, so just remember it could backfire in your face. What is you are hoping for? To piss her off? To make her blow up? What are you hoping to achieve by doing this? Be honest with yourself here...you are in NO way over this woman. Look at the reaction she is bringing out in you. If you were "over" her...you would be able to react with complete indifference. Now is NOT the time to try to contact her because you are feeling completely out of control. Be angry, be upset..just try NOT to project that to her. Do you realize how many OTHER ways you could get to her ...without even trying? Dan...sometimes the HARDEST thing to do is just walk away... but sometimes it is the ONLY thing to do, and still maintain your dignity and self confidence. Your ex does not even deserve to know if you have another girlfriend, or if you are with someone...and her SEEING it will not change what SHE did to you. She is STILL doing the same thing. This is about that...don't take your focus off what this is about. You will never change her....she has way too many problems. Stop trying to "one up" her..or "up the ante"...it doesn't change a thing. Use that energy and turn it inward...because really it is ALL you can do. Anything else is going to destroy you even more... Please don't react now.
  12. PlayBrat
    Hi Trev... I KNOW how you feel being back at square 1..I have been there quite a few times myself. I am there now. I can tell you I have "started" NC at LEAST 6 times..and I always get weak...lol. I am resigned to finally do it for REAL and stick to it. Believe me, if there was a "cure all" to break up pains there would be one rich mofo out there lol. I agree , it was selfish of your ex to contact you when she did...but her intentions were most likely innocent. I am sure she felt a lot of guilt about breaking up with you, and yes her calling you was most likely to alleviate some of that. So what is she is out partying all the time? That does not mean she is happy with it. Some people have to drink to forget things... like you... to fill a void. I won't go into the usual "spiel"...find a hobby, take a class...yada yada..you already know that. Keep posting on here. Give others advice. It really does help to help others. For me...I try not to ask for advice on my situation because it seems to just keep mme stuck...so I prefer to turn my attention to helping others...and in the process I take a little advice from everyone and apply it to my situation. It really DOES help. Keep your chin up...and keep us posted
  13. PlayBrat
    Dan... Yeah..the evil laugh and everything else you described spells.. S O C I O P A T H.... I read a lot...so this sort of stuff, the human mind is rather interesting to me. If you know what to look for, people like this really aren't hard to distinguish. The good thing in all this Dan....and this is VERY important..is that you will never get suckered again, because you will have the knowledge to know what to look for, so don't feel bad...in FACT , embrace this experience because she has taught you a very very valuable lesson. No one can take that from you...EVER. She soes not know exactly what a big favor she has done for you...but if you can turn this into a POSITIVE for you..you will win this. As for the check...I would mail it ...and leave it at that. It will be your last link to her..and you can walk away knowing you lived up to your end of the bargain.
  14. PlayBrat
    I have to pipe in here again Dan....the way you are describing her is that of a "Black Widow"...not the spider kind, but the human kind. The woman who uses and manipulates men into believing she loves and cares about them...weaving them into her web of deceit, taking what she wants and then killing them slowly and painfully without a thought for their pain or what she leaves in her wake. This type of person is VERY dangerous....and also very much a sociopath. Most people (men or women) with this tendency are very charming and are able to gain trust from their "victims". They are also very twisted and very good at turning things into THIER favor with mind games. This is why people like this never seem to get what they deserve and always come out smelling like a rose. Most people are TOO blind and TOO naive to see past that part of their sick personality. This indeed sounds like the type of person your ex is. Whether she was abused or not is not even relevant...the person we are concerned about here is YOU. Please don't make excuses for the sick behavior this woman has bestowed on you...you are worth SO much more than that. Be strong...
  15. PlayBrat
    Dan.... You are upset..understandably so... but please please do NOT react on these feelings. One of the other posters made a good point... She EXPECTS you to try to get her back...why not do something different and disappear from her life..and I mean REALLY disappear. She sounds "abusive" in her OWN right in all this. She has been pitting one against the other all the while eating up the attention. Believe me Dan, she is QUITE aware of her actions. If it makes you feel better to not pay her back the money, then don't. Let her abuser giver her the money. Let her live with her decision. I am sure she didn't even expect you to find out about the loser....so use that to your advantage. Please keep posting...we are here for you.
  16. PlayBrat
    Patty.... Imagine calling him... and what he might say. Imagine him being an "A" hole...or being rude, or being indifferent, or worse, hanging up on you....I say imagine these things because regardless of WHAT he says...you'll feel as though this is how he was anyway. Simply because it is STILL not going to get you what you are looking for. You are looking for answers he can't give you...or for an "ending" that satisfies you... You will never be satisfied with the way things ended. At least maintain your dignity and maintain NC...it will get easier...one day at a time.
  17. PlayBrat
    Hi Dan... Sorry to hear about this latest news... You give such great advice and I admire what you have done to make all the changes within yourself for this woman. Dan....sit back and re read your post...what would YOU advise someone ELSE to do? I have been reading all of your posts to so many people...and you are of such sound judgement in almost all these forums. Why is it so hard for you to see this woman for what she is? She has serious "issues"....she left YOU for someone she claimed "stalked" her...my GOD...that speaks volumes about where you are in her life! Dan...I somehow know if you were replying to someone ELSE in this scenerio you would advise them to wipe their hands of her and the situation...because it's ALL about respecting yourself. Why would YOU be any different? I know you love this girl...and we all KNOW you'll do the right thing and pay her the money back...but do not go backward now. This could actually be the point where you turn that "corner" and see things as they REALLY are for the first time. ..and see HER for what she really is , for the first time... This could be a blessing in disguise.
  18. PlayBrat
    Oops.... mascara was running..lol I meant THANK you once again..lol
  19. PlayBrat
    Thank you Danimal, You give really good heartfelt advice, as do many on here...I truly am taking it to heart an applying it. I know I would only set myself back if I contact him and I just want to get out of this hole, so I can see the sun again...and just be happy..TRULY happy again. I know that will take some time...in the meantime expect to see me here I hope I can others as much they have helped me ... You you once again
  20. PlayBrat
    I came early because I just couldn't be at work... I have been crying off and on all day. Maybe I need to get this out. I have had the urge to email him and tell him how I feel... and ask him how he could see me the other day and tell me how beautiful I looked...and then just disregard me so easily? What was his goal? Why didn't he just tell me when he saw me ? This hurts so much worse. I am not going to contact him... I hate feeling so weak and needy.....it is SO not me.I think I am just as mad at myself as I am with him for allowing myself to get to this point. Thanks for letting me rant...
  21. PlayBrat
    Thanks to those who replied... Today is just an EXTRA bad day...I can't focus, and I am at work... where I NEED to focus! I am trying to gain momentum in strength, but I think that will not come as soon as I need it to. I will post when I am feeling stronger... Thanks for your kind words.
  22. PlayBrat
    Guys it seems many of us are having a bad day today..and need encouragement.I am no different... BAD day here too... I started NC with someone and need to be reminded of exactly HOW I will benefit from NOT contacting him. I will paste and copy it in email so I can read it when I get weak... I know it won't be so bad in a few weeks...but right now, it IS bad. Also..has anyone HERE responded to NC being done to you?? How long did it take? Thanks...and hugs to all those who need it today
  23. PlayBrat
    JerseyGirl... I understand your need to believe this guy is "honest",,,but saying one thing and doing another is NOT honest..and he lacks integrity. You deserve So much more than the crumbs this guy is feeding you, don't you?? I know that hurts to hear, but I am am being objective, where you cannot. Think of a good friend telling you this same story...what advice would you give her? You would thik she is taking way too much crap, wouldn;t you? You have done NC for 2 days...consider this a headstart...and do NC for a couple of weeks ... I am doing NC too..and believe me..it sucks!!! I wish I could tell you he will come around but the fact is he may not...nor my guy..but thats the risk we have to take to save ourselves from more pain. Good luck to you
  24. PlayBrat
    Thanks Hope...those are very encouraging words... I was exxagerating about the drinking (a little lol) I hope you are right in that the timing is just off...I recall an email where he did say.."If the timing were different, who knows?" ...So I am just trying to NOT take everything so personal... The next few weeks will be tough but neccesary. I hope it pays off... .
  25. PlayBrat
    Thank you Muneca...that makes me feel TONS better..because I HAVE taken a lot personal...and he has told me it's NOT personal. The attraction between us is very strong...and I have NOT even slept with him or been sexual. This is a very new experience for me. I just wish he would just be a complete JERK, so I can somehow feel GOOD about not wanting to talk to him again....it would make it so much easier to move on... I will take your advice though...and yes it IS hard. Very hard. If you have anything else to share feel free to PM me Thanks again
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