starion

i guess i can list things that MAY help you see a different perspective but i am going to offer a concrete thing that MAY help you pick up a video game, thats right a video game, on of those multi player online at the same time ones. link removed for example even if you don't like video games or this particular game, the interaction with REAL people should give you a what you need. i know you can say that it is bunch of bs and a bunch of kids who are playing it. i can tell you for a fact that it is not true, you can meet some really nice people there who can help you in the game and you can help them and those attitudes just MAY spill over to real life. i know it is a virtual world but it has REAL people and you know YOUR world is a virtual one too, it is a made up "reality" in your head that doesn't really exist

A definite good luck to you. I tend to suffer for a while with little hope when my relationship(s) used to go bad/end. I thought I was abnormal in some ways to suffer/get depressed for so long with no hope. Maybe it is just some people are like that.

tough one, only time helped me and a lot of it too. i am sure though there must be a way to accelerate the recovery even if not by much. i wasn't able to figure it out back then, but maybe those types of questions should be asked.

As I stated about her "confused" state, don't try to understand it, it is nearly impossible to understand just believe it. She probably made up a "nicer" version of the story because back then it didn't really matter, she thought she was all set and now since she is at least considering you... Here is what I would try to figure out. Is she confused because she realized what a terrible mistake she made and she is trying to somehow put all the pieces together in her head on how to rebuild something with you OR that dude went back to his ex, she got left out in the cold, remembered about you in some ways and thinks she can just jump back in, but things are not the same and they never will be so now she is confused. am i making any sense here?

Frank, I want to give my input from two sides. This is what she said: 1. She is happy to hear and see how I changed myself. I seemed more warm. So, you were not good enough before? Kind of blame things on you! She SHOULD be warm and she SHOULD be wiping the floor in front of you and begging for forgiveness 2. She still wanted to sort things out before she decides to date me. WHAT!!! She called, she wanted something, now once she got a feel that you are still there ready to take her she begins her BS routine again waiting for some knight in shining armor to sweep her off her feet and kind of hopeing that maybe she will see that knight in YOU 3. She wanted to start fresh and on a clean slate with me...she would not ask me any questions about my past anymore and neither would I ask her about hers. She said it just sucks to have to talk about past dates. Not a bad idea, but why would she starts putting all these conditions up front, she doesn't even know * * * she wants but she is already covering her tracks, JUST IN CASE. Of course, she would have to say all about her running around and what not and she doesn't want that. But YOU should be the one putting conditions like these, not HER. 4.While she is sorting it out...she is OK if I decide to date other people in the meantime. She owes that to me she said. I am just going to take a guess here. She feels like she can snatch you back ANYTIME, women have a good intuition about this so she is not concerned if you date. Actually she wants to even the playing field a bit so she can always throw it back at you, well you "dated" too. 5.She said she would like me to call her whenever I wanted to. Well, ya, of course, she wants to see you running circle around her again. dude, I really don't want to be mean or nasty, I really don't. I would even go as far as saying if I could take half your pain away to myself I would. But I can't do it for two reasons, it is not physically possible and I can't handle anymore pain, I have had enough. Here is my input from the second side. Probably not everyone who replied to this thread can understand that state of confusion that your x-gf is going through. I could never understand it myself, hence my first response. But once I have experienced this state of complete confusion and sense of being completely lost and not able to make any decisions, other than just wait and wait and wait I can relate a little better. What can I tell you? Well, you have to decide yourself if you want to be with her or not, or are you confused as she is? Stop going to her house for dinner(she wanted a clean slate didn't she). Try not to beat the answers from her, no matter how much my gf(xgf) wanted answers, I truly didn't have them. At first we didn't talk about anything "US" just met once a week and talked about things but not "US". Sooner or later it becomes apparent that things have to move in either direction. It was very tough for me as I wanted to take things slower... Anyway, the relationship will never be the same, you will never be the same in that relationship and neither will she. It can be better, I am sure and I am sure it can last but if it comes to that don't make a mental mistake that I did/still doing of trying to "capture" the past. The past and the innocence is gone and GONE for good. It is not bad but for me it was hard realization. Sorry for long and probably confusing answer, hopefully it can help you in some ways

see if you can find out if anything happened around last may, like a break up. i am not saying good or bad, but people dont call out of the blue

dude, i have 2 60s in world of warcraft, leveling TO 60 is the most fun. Don't level TOO fast as at 60 game changes DRASTICALLY believe THAT. Zul'jin - Night Elf Druid (60) Magtheridon - Troll Shaman (60)

I am not going to give too many details, if you want details PM me, I just can't share with the whole world for some reason. Anyway, yes I left, it felt sudden even to me and even more sudden to her. I was always thinking but was trying to distract myself with life(I know sounds too general, but). After sometime started thinking more and more to the point that it became more and more difficult to just live with those thoughts. I struggled and struggled and finally gave her a call. We started meeting up once a week sometimes twice a week for a number of months. To make a long story short, yes we got back together. I have no doubt that this is a girl for me but with everything that happened the emotional impact on me has been too great. It is getting better even if little by little. I think she is doing much better than me about leaving past in the past and moving forward. I want to help you as I am greatful that we got another chance(and hopefuly not just a chance) so ask anything you want like I said. I know i left all the details and reasons, but...

you know, i extrememly rarely login, mostly just read, but i had to dig up my login info just for this post and why you ask me? the situation is extremely strangely similar. i am that guy, well not YOUR guy, but you get the point. of course, i dont know how similar in reality the two stories are but from description of yours it is just too similar. we(I) broke up after 4-5 years together(living 2-3 together), 9 months later i contacted her. i never want to have to do ANYTHING with my exs, not that I always break up, usually i am being broken up with the stories may start to differ as more infor is out but you can ask me anything you want.

dude, wake up, she has a bf, until she settles things there you are deluding yourself. does she still love you? quite possibly is she confused? definitely so is she "playing" these games on purpose? hopefully not i understand that she may be in a tough position, "stuck" between two people, very difficult i think you will get this resolved quicker if you tell her to get back to you when she has something concrete to say, not this, i am thinking but can't call you because i am at my parents BS. it has been a week and a half, if you love her as much as you say you do it must feel like an ETERNITY dude, i don't want to sound harsh, i really don't and i really wish that all will be well for you

i don't keep anything from my ex-gfs, never did, it was kind of an instict reaction of mine, a self-preservation mechanism of sorts

very interesing, i can't seem to put a finger on what the hell is going on. it has nothing to do with fireworks or lack of them, it is just something else, i can't put it in words, but you somehow did. i get this anxiety a lot too and and i just don't understand sometimes why can't i calm down and enjoy things. a big breakup happened between us and it is probably contributing to all this uneasy feelings, but why can't i just move "forward" subconsious fear of things not working out? subconsious fear of not having the "right" feelings, just like you said yourself? trauma of the breakup and getting back together and all the subconsious processes that go along with it? i have not idea myself and have been seeking these answers, just hoping that with time things will "settle" down and i can find my peace.

comalies, i am/was in a very similar situation i have sent you a pm p.s. sorry to everyone i just don't like to share details of my life story with the whole forum to answer your question, can it work out, i sure hope so am i having a tough time from time to time, yes i do

i think things are unresolved in your head. when the person is depressed it is very difficult to have a normal relationship with them, yet from what you say, nothing bad was done by him or you, that leaves you subconsciously wondering "what if" not for that depression things could have been great --just a thought

yes it is possible, but at this point in the 21st century it is EXTREMELY unlikely. one of my better friends parents met when his mother was 15 and they are happily married still like 35 years later. The point is that times were "simpler" in that regard, people met, fell in love, married, had kids and didn't think too much. now, instead of marrying and having kids, people become bf and gf, get engaged but no family, no kids. now how long can you be bf and gf for? some people long time, but bf and gf is not the same thing as marriage and kids with no way back(that was the thought back then) people 'change', 'grow up', 'fall out of love', whatever they call it but bf and gf thing usually doesn't last when you are ready for a family and kids then it will work out. if you are not ready for family and kids in a very near future, if you want to get education, get financially stable then your chances are indeed very small