icechilly

so today me and my 2 buddys john and chris were playing world of warcraft and we got into an argument because john was lvling up too fast and we couldnt party with him anymore, he got all pissed and said we were trying to control him and said were always ganging up on him and making fun of him and putting him down. (the kid is like brick from anchor man, except is actually inteligent) anyway the servers shut down before we can get anywhere and we take out aurgument on msn, i acted like the middle guy because the argument was mostly between the 2 of em. well i tell john to just cut chris some slack because a girl he liked just told him she wanted to be friends and hes a little peeved off so then ron asks what happened and i say well she lives far away and what not so then he brings up this girl i like (its his gf's best friend)and for the last 2 weeks his gf has been telling me that she would come over and hang out with us all so ican get to tknow her and maybe start something up. i was seriusly pumped. but then yesterday i leave her a msg on msn asking if the girl i like is for sure comin and i come home from work to see "i dunno". i was pissed, so i bring it up in the convo about what happened what changed in the last few days? and he says "i bet she didnt even ask her to come over face so now im thinking she just played me like a complete fool and never even did ask, and for some reason i keep thinking its to get back at me for all the times we make fun of john......i honestly dont even know what to think. maybe its all in my head but later today ill find out for sure. to anyone who actually read that thanks, its 9 in the morning and i never went to bed last night, my mind is going a mile a minute trying to put everything in perspective. i hope i dont lose john as a friend, but if what i think did happen its for sure over. i will go as far and knocking him the * * * * out.

i find it extremely hard because i rely totally on peoples facial expressions when talking talking on a phone is like riding a bike blind

being a nice guy isnt bad, just dont be a toal loser, you can be as nice as you want but just dont let people take advantage of you, got a problem with something? speak up, there is no reason to be a "bad boy" just dont be a doormat

so the otherday i met a girl at the pub (it was my buddys gf's friend) and i made a totall * * * out of myself, she knew i liked her and when she aproached me i just kinda didnt look at her a whole lot. so after beating myself up all night and the following day i talk to my buddy and he said that his gf' was "gossiping" with the girl i like and she was very happy.......what the hell does that mean? does she like me or is she just happy that someone likes her? god i feel like an idiot.

pretty much the same thing happened to me the other day at a pub, she came up and sat right next me and i couldnt even talk to her, i gut super nervouse, id imagin he was kicking himself later that night/the next day just like i was.

if i can get her to come to the party do you guys have anyways of breaking the ice totally? what kind of stuff should we talk about? would crap like where we went to school/dreams/views on life be ok? or is that too obviuse? i really want to impress her but i also dont wanna look like an idiot again.

and the whole car ride back my buddy's gf kept yelling at me to grow some balls. and i asked his gf for her number but she said shed have to ok it with the girl in the grey first. i dont have any other way of communicating to her except through my buddys gf id so love to be able to just go up to her and talk to her like she was one of my oldest buddies but i can barely even look her in the eye without wanting to faint.

so it was my buddy's gf's bday tonight and me and my 2 buddys went and his gf branf along 5 of her friends. well anyway we get there and i notice one of her friends and she was sitting next to me, she was really hot so anyway throught the night everyone switched seats and moved around and she ended up sitting at the other end of the table well around 12 all the girls go to the bathroom except my buddy's gf and we were all talking about which one we liked and then she went to the bathroom, i dont know what/if anything was said but when they all came back the girl tin the gray sweater (the one i liked) sat directly infront of me and she smiled at me and i smiled back, we made eye contact a few times the whole night and smiled at each other and she saw my one buddy preassuring me to talk to herbut i just couldnt, my face turned into a tomatoe by then. im just thankfull it had really dim lighting there. we both just kinda fiddled around with forks/glasses/cellphones the whole night. i felt like the biggest loser and i probably am, i can talk to anyone i can make total strangers laugh but when she smiled at me my heart just imploded and i couldnt talk. so we all leave at around 1 and she leaves with one of her girlfriends and i go with my 2 buddy's and his gf and on the way back the girl in the grey calls up and asks us if we all want to go hang out at another pub. i was all for it but everyone else just wanted to go to bed so we ended up not meating up with her. i just really needed to get this out beause its destroying me up inside, my buddy might get a house party set up next week and well try to invite her. hopefully she doesnt think im just a massive creep and not come because of what happened tonight