Jetta

Suits and ties for guys the memo said. So I'm thinking full business suits for woman (which I don't own). I have suit jackets that I usually wear with pants and some jackets with long skirts but true professional wear isn't really in my waredrobe. The below knee skirts look bad on me. I temped there once about 9 years ago (a 1 week job turned into 6 months). The department I was in was business casual, however they had some that were fully professional so I could be interviewing in that area. The job sounds really cool, but it's a new field for me (marketing coordinator). So I really think it would be a miracle if I got it. However I still want to do my best.

Well I have a job interview Monday. The jobs sounds really interesting. It's a temp to hire one and they said to dress professionally. I may have some professional type garments but I'm more business wear than professional wear so already I'm worried I won't dress right.

I just sent off more resumes fro the workforce site. I'm going to go back to bed.

I don't know where to begin. I'm so worried about basic needs I don't know where to start. I know I can do better with my daughter because she doesn't have the parential requirements he does and now I"ll have the energy and ability to focus on her. Even the social worker has said not everyone can parent a special needs child and my son is a special needs child. He looks normal, which is part of the problem (society thinks he's normal and expects normal behavior from him). But he has some additional parenting requirments that I just couldn't do, and amazingly his dad turns out to be the right fit, which I"m glad about but sad about too. I just want out of this house and I'm trying to do anything to get out. I don't know what to do since I'm not getting a job as easily as I expected to. My friend says I need to get away well if I do that I may miss a job opportunity. And I could do is go to my mom's who will just lecture me about how much I've screwed up my life. I really don't know what to do right now.

Yes it's driveable. Two light fronts are broken and something scrapes when I drive bit my ex said he pushed it up so it shouldn't now. On the phone he's mean in person he fakes compassion. My son is with his dad now permanently because his dad is more structured and that is what my son needs. He's doing really well with his dad. Really improving, getting good reports from school (behavior wise) I'm told. So he's really turning around. He's still in some special ed programs (because he needs more focussed attention, easily distracted). But overall he's better off now I'm told. I just don't know who I am anymore. I know I wasn't able to take care of him the way he needed, mainly because I'm falling apart myself these days. But hearing the word permanently well it's awful even if I know it's in his best interest. Now I sit here and think so I have my daughter and odds are I'm screwing her up too.

I've been trying to turn it around and all I hit are walls or slammed doors. I'm a very broekn person now. I can't find a way out and suicide is all I can think of now. I've tried everything I know to do. I've prayed for solutions and still have more problems. I really thought the nicer car was a sign of better times to come and now that's damaged and I can't file a claim to repair it or I won't have insurance. I've had the car for 6 days. I can't find solace in my house because my ex is always around now that he's not working again. I have no one, I have nothing. I thought I had hit bottem already. Everyone is sick of my problems, well I'm sick of my life.

My jobs have varied a lot. I've worked in customer service (taking reservations for a car rental company) 1 1/2 yrs., transportaion (qualified drivers, maintained files) 10 months (too much filing which I hated, boss suggested I apply for the 2nd accounting position), accounting (reconsile past due accounts (1 1/2 yrs.), freight invoice payments (3+ yrs.), and various other mixed in there positions (longer term temp jobs). Stayed Best Buy for 5 years, varied positions. Basically I'm looking for anything with regular business hours (ideally full-time, but have started applying for part-time). I was making about $3-4/hr more than most jobs are paying now. As far as computer programs I'm intermediate level (Access, Oracle, Excel, Word, etc...), alpha number data entry about 11K, typing 60wpm. Learning this from the various tests I've been taking at staffing firms. I did call about housing they suggested subsidized since section 8 is full, well I need a job to pay the rent anyway. We're on state medical. We did food stamps for a while when she was a baby and he was laid off, but I never used them because she couldn't tollerate the formula.

My ex is not working. He gave notice at his job because he was offered one pending a background check. Well domestic assault showed up so the offer was revoked. He had just bounced a bunch of checks putting our joint account in the negative for a while. That is when I opted to take the money I had leftover from the car and open my own checking account. He's trying to find out how much I have and get me to buy food that he'll eat, otherwise he goes to parents for meals but does't take our daughter. Since most places don't take checks anymore I can't really access the money until I get my new ATM card. As for the other job, I figure I have no choice but to go now, but I was trying to find a paying job. I mean the hours for this one suck, there's no way I could maintain that long term. I have to work when daycare is open (that job requires a lot of evenings), which is fine as a married person not when I'm single. Then there's the whole wasting time and gas to get someplace that most likely won't ever pay me anything. Average timeframe for a loan to close is 90 days they said. So really is it worth going? I'm not sure but at this time it's all I've got so I guess so.

I couldn't find the staffing firm that I drove an hour from home to get to. I tried calling and the number didn't work. On the way home I got in yet another car accident. I have had nothing but one problem after another and I can't take anymore. I've had two staffing firms tell me I was their only applicant and then I never hear back from them. I mean what is so wrong with me that no one will offer me a job, even a temp job? We have almost no food in the house. I have about $60 to my name, only because I've been using my credit card. I'm beyond discouraged. I don't care how long I've lived and how much I've made it through, I've peaked and I can't take it anymore.

Give a try. You won't know unless you do and you sound really excited about it.

Thank you both. Haha darkblue. Yes I do feel special. Very good points. So much change at once is paralyzing at times. I've had to really figure out what I needed to do first.

I've been really confused about my marriage (former marriage). I've been wondering if I should really try to work things out or move on. I mean moving on hasn't come very naturally. So that is really what has me wondering if it was the right decision. Then I have the stuff where whenever I think of returning to him something bad happens. My car accident happened literally seconds after thinking about making it work. His recent job problem happened again after me wondering if I'm just giving up too easily. He was offered a position pending background check, which brought up domestic assult so now he's again jobless because he gave notice at the one he was at. Okay so I know I need to move on, but then why are things progressing so slowly? It's very frustrating.

It's a 100% commission job. They provide free training and well training was truly lacking with the place I choose as a real estate agent. I had no idea loan officers were commission based. Anyway I accepted because it's the only offer I've had in a long time, and who knows maybe it'll work out in some way or lead me to something better (at least I'd be doing something). But I'll admit I'm nervous. I'll be working off hours (great for my internal clock, but not for daycare). I'll also be paying for childcare and have to rely on my ex to pick her up (yes we still share a household but he's unreliable). Already trying to come up with excuses. I really think he just doesn't want me working (then I'd be stuck here longer). At any rate. Things are looking up. I have a job offer, a car, childcare figured out, and a new checking/savings account opened. Now I need to bring in a check and find a place to move to. Then I would really be on the road to a better life. At least things seem to be looking up. I'm almost there.

Oh that sucks. You both made a mistake and you've been given an out. So take it and break up. Yes it sucks, yes it's hard but like the others have said you can always get back together after things simmer down. BTW the pic of you and your sister is really cute. Glad you explained it in your signature.

Okay I debated about saying anything because I'm really no expert on dating. My advice is to let him make the move. You've already shown interest, don't push too much. If he's interested he'll let you know. The fact that he's locally famous, well it sounds like you're starstruck really. That would be a turn off for him truthfully. He'd see you as a fan then.

Truthfully divine intervention has prevented me from either doing it or being successful at it. Suicidal thoughts/tendancies usually occur when I'm at a point in life that is demanding change, a change that goes against my tranditional beliefs and societies beliefs. My purpose in life must be to go against the grain because I certainly have, and it's not an easy road to travel. The latest transition of sending my son to live with his father has nearly killed me (not kidding). It was THE hardest thing I have ever done, and I did it because it's what he needs at this time of his life (he's doing really well with his dad). When the cop said after my accident that I was lucky to be alive I just looked at him and shook my head. It's not the first time someone has said that to me. Really I've heard that about 3 or 4 times in life and always at times when the last thing I want is to be alive. Sorry I went on a tangent. But the truth is I've pretty much learned I have to stick it out now. I made it this long I guess I'm in it for the duration now.

RUN AWAY. She bought a dress? Now that is crazy.

So glad I'm not alone. Only one bartender was met while working, the others I met elsewhere and had no idea their profession was bartending until after the fact. They weren't studs or anything, but they are charismatic. So maybe that's it.

Okay I met a guy at a class, he's a bartender/restaurant manager. I met a guy I worked with in highschool at karaoke one night. I later find out he's my good friend's neighbor, divorced (wife cheated on him) and also a bartender. Then of course there's the guy I totally fell for, again a bartender. What the heck!? Okay my dad was a V.P. Civil Engineer. A white collar professional all the way. Is this some wild child syndrome thing? Seriously why is it that every guy that really interests me is a bartender. I don't smoke, rarely drink, and just don't get it. Yeah I quit going to karaoke night at least until I have become employed, moved into my new place, and have a respectable life going. But I'm sitting here thinking about the guys I really become interested in and how coinsidentally they're all bartenders! WHY? Curious if anyone can help me figure this out.

It sounds like he was instrumental in your family. Have you tried a grief support group? The local hospitals usually have them for free, it may help you work through the stages. Denial is one of the stages of grief. Yes losing a member of the family changes the dynamic of the family and people adjust/cope in different ways.

Okay I'm going to be totally honest with you. It sounds to me like neither of you are anywhere near ready to have a child. You are very status focussed and because of that you will be very unhappy having a child at this time of your life. Finish doing the things you want to do, and then rethink the baby thing. You're still young there is no rush. Once you have a child there is no going back. You need to be prepared for a huge lack of control. A child is something that will alter your life in ways you can never plan for, never. Now that's the bad. The good is you will love this child more than you ever thought possible and see the world in a completely different way. A child will change your focus and you may not always like the way your focus has to change but they're needs come first. So if you're not ready for your world to turn upside down then hold off.

Well it's not just because your bisexual. Although I don't normally fall for gay guys, I fell hard for a bi guy. I still can't get him out of my head and I've tried. I didn't even notice his feminine traits, until I caught myself picking up on them (he probably thought I was mocking him). I don't even know what it was about him that caught my attention originally aside from thinking he was really attractive. My friends think it's because he's well groomed and takes pride in his appearance. Well my 1st husband took pride in his appearance, was well groomed and he's not gay. So I guess I just like well kept guys. Maybe that's it. They tend to take better care of themselves (hygiene wise).

Sugar, It's never easy to face the loss of someone. I know I spent years worrying about my dad dying. When it happened I felt like I spent all that time worrying for nothing because he's not really gone, he's just in a different form. Granted we had/have a special connection. I feel my dad is around, but my mom hasn't and doesn't. So perhaps I'm really blessed or just more open to it. I don't know. I just know that death isn't the end it's just a transformation. My dad said to me after his death that "We spend more time in the spiritual world than we do in the physical, so make the most of the time you have in the physical." Really they're okay wherever they are, and they're watching over us and sometimes trying to reach out to us (in any way they can). Enjoy the time you have left with your dad. Make your peace with him now so he can move onto peace when he passes.

Oh that was a good answer darkblue. Wow.

The only thing I can say is talk with a pshychologist and see if there is some kind of disorder that can be treated. Maybe this is a learned thing that you somehow picked up on in childhood. In that case retraining your thinking would be beneficial. A book that really helped me at one point in my life was "Mind Power" by John Kehoe link removed It's mostly about our thoughts create our realty.