kimono_girl2

Haha yes, the guy in the picture is hot. Now to find out if it is really the poster or not!!

Oh wow, there's actually a disorder for avoidant people? I never knew...I thought it was just me. It's good to know someone else understands. Thank you for the informative link. Now that I am back in the States I think I will see a psychologist about the problems I am having for this and my eating one... sigh. why do i have to have TWO problems now? I suck.

Haha, I feel your pain! I fall for gay guys too, because I feel they are so much more confident and in touch with their stylish side. They also know what to say more than straight guys seem to (probably because they understand the way us girls think more) and we have more in common with them than we do with straight guys. Gay guys are very well groomed (stereotypically...all of my gay friends have been this way though!) and so can look more attractive than straight guys. Clothes, hair, and confidence really help men, after all! And of course, it's a personal preference. I like effeminate men...I think they're cute! But I'm not bisexual, so i don't think it's because you like girls. You just have a preference for feminine men. Like me! And SOOO many other girls in this world. (Look at Orlando Bloom. Haha...most guys don't understand what we see in him because they think he's such a priss...a beautiful, effeminate priss. Ahhhh!)

My, how varied the opinions you're going to get will be. I agree with some of the people who told you what they thought. I disagree greatly with others. But I'm not going to say which opinions I agree or disagree with. The only thing I will tell you is that what someone else told you: those who think you look good will reply. Those who don't will keep their mouths shut. In the end, you get a skewed opinion. Also, for every person who thinks you are not good looking, there will be one who thinks you are good looking. On link removed, my picture got lots of different ratings. Lots of 9's, but also a few 1's. How varied it was!! So really, don't ask this question.

Kyoshiro, Is that avatar picture you or not? I'm not very good at telling if people are using their own pictures or the pictures of someone they admire. If that is you, I will then type something else that I'm sure will make you happy later on.

Hello everyone! I am a very insecure person...I always think that the worst is going to happen, and I hate bad news. I avoid it like the plague actually. For instance, if I was sending in a job application and I got a response in the mail, I would rather not open the envelope than possibly be told that I didn't make the final cut. The same is for emails from people I like. I KNOW that many guys find me attractive because they have told me so and when I look in the mirror I like what I see, but when they write me emails I always wait until a week later to open it and by then they think I am flakey and don't want to talk to me anymore. But the truth is, I was just scared of reading it. I'm not sure why, but I was, so I avoided. This is really hurting my daily life. I lose oppurtunities left and right because I am afraid of bad things. There must be a way to fix this. Is there?

You're very perceptive! Yes, I am asian and I live in a very traditional asian-society. My home is in Tokyo and every girl here is thin-thin-thin...in the States, people say that I am thin, but when I go back home, I'm heavier than many of the girls here. Everyone I know here is on a diet, even those who don't need it (as far as I can see). And at the same time, no one here recognizes mental/emotional disorders. It's all about self-control here. I talked to my parents about not being able to stop eating today. They said that they just can't understand that. They think anyone can control their eating with will-power and self-control and that I just have to TRY HARDER. They got so angry and yelled at me for not being able to have more control... Thank you. I really agree with that suggestion and I plan to see my free school counsellor when I return to the States (for college) in a week. I just hope I can hold out until then. (I am also a bit hesitant though because I'm embarrassed to talk about my problem. I don't like talking about myself to anyone, and meeting a counsellor means having to talk about my deepest, darkest secret!) I threw all the junk food in our house away today, so maybe that will help? We'll see tomorrow... I tell myself every day that tomorrow will be different but it is never different. But I really hope that tomorrow will REALLY be different this time... You are so sweet. Thanks for listening to me complain and helping me out. It's nice to know there are people I can talk to even while stranded all the way accross the ocean here at home.

Thank you for your reply, phrecklesrsexy. I will check out something-fishy like you suggested. The thing is, I am not overweight, nor have I ever been. I suppose I have always been lean, and when I went on my diet last year it was because I had gained fifteen pounds in college, which I finally lost. I just don't understand why, if I am so scared of gaining weight, I can't stop eating. I thought it would be the exact opposite. I binged again today badly. I started again with salad, and ended up consuming in something like an extra 1500 calories. I won't be surprised if I become twenty pounds heavier again. BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE 20 POUNDS HEAVIER. I JUST CAN'T HELP IT!!! I don't understand!! I have a happy life. I have no reason to use food to numb anything because there isn't anything to numb. Yet I can't stop. And I'm gaining weight. And I HATE HATE HATE myself for it. I especially hate myself for not even being able to at LEAST be bulimic. I try so hard to throw up. i shove my fingers down my throat, but all i do is gag. I sit in the bathroom for an hour trying to throw up. I hit myself in the stomach. I drink loads of water. But I still can't throw up. If I have to ave an eating disorder, I'd rather it be one that helps me lose weight, not gain weight. If I am so scared of being fat, why do I do the one thing that makes me fat?

As a girl who is very conscious of her body weight (and I know many other girls would agree with me on this), a quip like the one above would make me VERY angry at the guy who told me "it's the fat that makes you look fat". This would not be a good example of "c0cky-funny" as you guys are calling it. It's just plain insensitive, even if you mean well. I like it when there's light-hearted teasing from guys such as "oh gosh, how could you like eating that sort of thing?" but telling a girl, even playfully, that she looks big in any outfit is a death wish for a guy. Even if he's dating a supermodel. By the way, I have read David DeAngelo's articles and I really hate them. That guy's ego is through the roof and yet he sounds like a complete prick in all of his articles. I can see how his behaviour might help him get laid in a one night stand, but I definitely can't see any girl dating this guy for a long period of time. In all honesty, I find his "advice" to be a load of BS and it seems that he feels a constant need to back up how sound his advice is with testimonials, as if he's afraid if he doesn't have any, no one will believe him. (true)

Thank you for your reply. That was quite helpful. I had actually just finished a pint of ice cream when I read your reply and it made me stop reaching for my food. I'm so disgusted with myself for not being able to stop. I want to SO BADLY but I can't. And of course no want seems to understand this because they think I just have no will power... You said you chose a diff. path from OA. May I ask what that was? Are there other people here who have/are gone/going through what I'm going through? I feel so messed up for not being able to stop eating, especially when I had so much will power before to lose lots of weight last year. It's like all that will power just left me stranded. I'm so scared of gaining any more weight from my problem. I'm currently overseas in a country where people don't believe in psychological disorders so I won't be able to find much help, much less an OA group, here. Are there any suggestions for helping me not gain weight until I can return to the states in one week?

Dear all, Hello there...I think I have an eating problem and I can't go to anyone else for help. My family doesn't understand...they think it's just a matter of me not having enough will power. They say it's all psychological and I just have to have a stronger will power to not eat and it will all fix itself. I have a problem with bingeing a lot sometimes. I have no reason why, but whenever I start eating, I can't stop. I will seek out every fatty and sweet food in the house and eat it. I already threw all the ones I knew of away, but then I just find hidden stashes that belong to my brother or family members and eat them. After I finish eating my 1,000 extra calories, I feel disgusted with myself and try to make myself throw up, but I can't. I try so hard, but all I can do is gag. And it makes me feel so disgusted that I can't even get rid of everything tha I ate. If I could just throw it up, it would make me feel better and I wouldn't get fat. I have already gained three to five pounds because of my problem. I tell myself every day that I will eat healthier today. I start with oatmeal and salad. Then I somehow fall into a binge again. I can never get through one day without bingeing. I used to be able to, but it's getting worse and worse. And I can't make it stop. AFter a binge, I always feel like I can control myself the next day. But I can't...it repeats itsel the next day. I know I am a pretty attractive girl. I have a good, fit body at the moment since I went on a major diet/fitness rehaul last year and achieved my perfect body. But now that i have my perfect body, I can't stop it from reverting to it's old, fatty self. I get a lot of compliments, whistles, cat calls, men hitting on me, etc. now with the body I have. I don't want to be that nobody I used to be, but my eating habits are making that come true!!! I know people will tell me to get therapy, but I can't at the moment. I don't have the money for it and my family doesn't believe that I need it so won't pay for it. I don't really want therapy anyway. I just want to know how I can make myself stop bingeing FOR REAL. Please help. I just got back from the bathroom after trying to make myself throw up, but I couldn't. I CAN'T EVEN MAKE MYSELF THROW UP. I'm so disgusted.