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Well it's too hard to plan things like this since, just like a relationship, it takes two people for them to work. A one sided friendship isn't healthy, and from your post it sounds like things will head that way if your plan goes through. If he broke it off then you need to do what you planned to do, stick with NC. But trying to make him want you by putting messages of how good your doing isn't going to make a difference. For all you know he could read that and just think "well I guess she really didn't love me that much since she's so happy now without me", and if he does thats not going to make him come back any faster. If he comes back to you, he will come when he's ready. Friendships between ex's is very hard to maintain, since one person will always want more than the other person. You can tell him you would like to try a friendship, but your going to have to wait for him to be ready to make that step before jumping into it. Best thing to do is just maintain NC and take things from there. If he does contact you, then you can tell him all you have to give is a friendship and thats it. Maybe thats all he will want at the time too. As I said though, these friendships are hard to maintain, and it may lead to you two going back to NC again or just ending things completely.

Quazit in answer to your question I would say Yes. From what I've heard the penis stops growing after puberty or around 18-19 years of age. So from that I assume that you wont see anymore growth during these next years, or just a small amount (like going from 7 to 7.5). Anyways I don't know how accurate this information is, it's just what I've heard from professors and classmates in College. It may grow again (one professor said that some males have a "second growth" around 28+, which will give another inch or two, but it's not that common) or it is done and that the size you will have for the rest of your life. As I said though, I don't know how accurate this information is, or how useful it really is for you, but it's all I have to offer you for your question.

Well it sounds like he really isn't ready to talk to you right now. He may feel like things aren't worth doing again, or feels that he would rather find a girl that he can smoke with (I had some friends who dumped their girls because they didn't smoke and they wanted a girl that does). I think you've done all that you can to let him know how you feel, and he hasn't done anything to recipicate (sp?) those feelings to you. For now I guess your best thing to do is just move forward and leave him behind. He will try to "catch up" to you if you really meant that much to him, but if not at least your not wasting time waiting for him to figure things out. Sorry to hear how things went down for you, and I know it's hard to feel so strongly about someone who doesn't seem to feel the same way at the time. He may need some time and some NC for him to get things together, but he has already had some time and he still hasn't so I don't really know what's going through his head right now. Sorry an'ka, wish I could be better help for you rigth now.

Plus one thing to note is that your penis doesn't keep growing like the rest of your body. Usually the penis reaches it's final stage of "growth" by puberty, after that the penis usually doesn't grow any further than that (maybe a half inch or so, but nothing really important). I'd say that your penis is about as big as it's going to get, you may see a small amount of growth in a few years, but nothing that's going to make a difference in your eyes. That's just what I've heard though, so I'm not too sure how accurate that information is.

Well from my experience, just "hooking" up with someone to take your mind of an ex works for only a few days, if that. Years ago when a girl I was dating broke up with me, I felt the same way as you. I just wanted to "hook" up with someone just so I wouldn't think about her, but after doing that for a while (and it did make me feel "dirty" afterwards) all it did was makes things worse. Instead of filling the "void" I had, I was just making it bigger with what I was doing. I stopped doing that, decided to be single and just get my life on track and work towards my goals. After a year of this, I met my current g/f, with whom I've been with for 2 years. So my advice would be to go ahead and "do it" if you really want to, but be prepared to not feeling better about yourself (who knows though, you may be different and wont feel that way). If not, just stick it out being single, establish some goals for yourself, and keep yourself busy working towards them.

Well I would just say be careful for what you wish for. I've known many girls that said they wanted the same thing you want, and when they do get it they all of sudden feel "smothered" and don't like the fact that they can't have any alone time. Shoot even my g/f felt that way before we broke up for a while. She said the same thing. That she always wanted to see more of me, and wanted me to be with her everyday, but when that started to happen she felt like she never had time for herself and that I was smothering to her. I found all this out after we broke up and started talking about the things we did that upset each other (she admited is wasn't my fault for that, she wanted things that way and she made me want her so badly that I would want to see her everyday). So anyways, if you do make yourself somewhat "hidden" to him, it will make him want to be around you more, but be prepared for that type of situation. Best thing is to just go with the flow for now and let things work themselves out. Eventually you two may find a happy "medium" that makes both of you happy.

Oh no I was talking about the original posters situation, not your picture Anyways I love the Incredibles, and I'm thinking about going to see it again this weekend just for fun.

I think he tried to type "on a stripper" but hit too many keys at once. Anyways for the poster. Well that's just horrible. I was going to ask if it was just a personal dance, or if it was more, but it doesn't really make a difference. Have you told your dad how this makes you feel and ask why he did it? Sometimes parents can be just as "dumb" as kids, and they need someone to smack them in the face and let them know they did wrong. Does your mom, his wife, know about this too?

Hey a good vent is always helpful and nice to get out of your system. I'm glad to see that you've noticed his "true colors" now, and not when your relationship was more serious. It's also good that you noticed this since it gives you the incentive to just move on and keep heading forward with your life while he's stuck in the HS days with his buddies. Yeah maybe some day he will realize what he's done and how he has acted, but by then your going to be happy with your life and not really have a "space" for him anymore. Anyways I'm just glad that your finally "over" all his crap since he was just acting like a child towards you and making you feel worse everyday. You are better off without him and his childish games. Well I wish you the best of luck with your "new" life and I know that you will be fine now that your moving on.

Well I think that you should be mad for many reasons. One of those is the fact that he said it in a way to just piss you off (hence him asking "are you mad?"). Second is just going to one of those places. I have friends that would go to those clubs all the time and tell me about stories that go on in there. I never liked the idea of a strip club, I just see it as a big waste of money. But my friends would say all kinds of things to make them sound good, and so I finally went to one for my brother in-laws bachelor party. I have to say I was disgusted with what I saw. I think I only stood in there for about 5 minutes, just enough time to have a shot with everyone, say goodbye and went to a casino instead (we were in Vegas). My female friends say male strip clubs are even worse then the guys. They have told me about times when girls would get up on the stage and have oral sex, or sometimes just straight sex, with a male dancer. These places aren't places someone whose with another person should be going. I told my g/f about my 5 minutes in one and she said the same thing as me, "why would someone want to spend there money to see someone take off their clothes when they can get it for free at home?". Anyways, yeah you should be mad, but you should also tell him why you don't like the idea of him going to one. Or use Muneca's idea and throw it back in his face. He probably has heard about male strips clubs and those hijinks that happen, so he wouldn't want you to be there. And if it's not okay for you, then why should it be okay for him? BTW Strip Clubs are gross!! Just my 2 cents but from what I've heard and saw, I think those places are the worst places to be in.

Well your situation is a bit weird due to the words use. It is perfectly normal for people in a relationship to think of other people being cute or whatever. I know that sometimes I'll tell my girl that I think a girl is cute, even she will sometimes point out a girl that she thinks is cute. The same goes for, except I don't really think of any guys that are cute, but I know some guys can be more attractive than me. But in the end we both still now that we are attracted to each other on more levels that just being "cute". Thats where you need to draw your lines. So she thinks this guys cute, maybe cuter than you, but is she physically/mentally/spiritually attracted to this guy is another story. If she is then you should be worrying, since that attraction can lead to more kisses or other things in the future. If she's not, then I think things are fine.

Well one thing that I noticed which stuck out to me was what he said to you in your car. He's pretty much blaming his actions/attitude on you, and saying that your the one who needs to "think before speaking", when in fact he needs to preach this to himself. It just kinda stuck out when he said that, and made me realize how immature/childish this guy really is. He's not taking responsibility for his actions like a "man" should, and instead is saying "hey I'm sorry for what happened, but next time if YOU do things different I won't get that way". It's very childish indeed. Anyways, best of luck to you and I hope that things get better for you.

Well I guess my only question would by why do you send e-mails if you know he rarely checks it? My g/f will probably check her e-mail once every two weeks, at the most. Today was her first time checking her e-mail in the past month. So if I ever have something really important to say, or want her to know I usually just call or write a letter and leave it at her house/car. This way I know that she gets it and I'm not contemplating on whether she got it or not. When she checked it today there were 2 e-mails I had sent her (1 from last month and 1 from almost 2 weeks ago) and I was like "good thing it wasnt' something important" and we just laughed about it (they weren't important at all, just an e-mail sent to say hi or something like that). Anyways, if he rarely checks his e-mail, chances are he checks it even less now that you two are apart. Unless you know for sure that he will check it at a certain time and read the e-mail, you should think of a different approach to contact him. And yeah your rigth though. If he wants you back then he should be putting in that effort, but once again things can be confusing. I knew I really wanted my g/f back when we broke, but when she told me that she wasn't ready but she would want me to contact her when I was ready, it made me confused. I really wanted to call her sometimes, but then I knew if I did all that was going to happen was her telling me she still wasn't ready or she still needed space/time. It got to a point to where when I did contact her and we talked for about an hour, I told her that she should be the one to initiate the next conversation, since now she knows I'm ready and if she isn't it's too hard for me to figure out what to say/do until she's ready. She called me back like 3 days later, and said she was now ready to talk again, and we picked it up from there. So maybe you need to call him, or write him a letter again that he will get for sure, just so he knows that he can contact you as well, if he wants. Right now I think he may be a bit confused on how/when he can contact you, or confused on what type of contact he can/should make. A little clarification may make things better for both of you, since you can have the peace of mind knowing that you laid everything on the line and he knows it, so there's no room for "what if's" anymore.

Well for some guys to get that message the girl needs to be upfront and clear with it. Just try to talk to him one time at work and drop the "friend bomb" on him (you know like saying "wow your such a good FRIEND" or "I really like talking to you since your a good FRIEND"). You'll know what to say and how to say it to get the point to him, and that's pretty much the only way he will get the point. I honestly can't say if he likes you or not, since his actions seem to say yes. He tried to make you feel sorry for him (by being mad at you, hoping you would come around), he tried to make you jealous (by talking to other girls in front of you), and now he's trying to make you comfertable around him again (by being nice again). It sounds like he likes you, but then again he could just be trying to test the waters and see how you feel about him, since all he knows is that you think he's cute. But as I said, the only way he will get the point that you just want to be friends is if you drop the "friend bomb" on him so he knows. Once a girl drops that bomb most guys know there's no chance of breaking out of the "just friends" category.

Wow it's incredible to see such a turn of events. Actually every since I came here during my break up you have been giving lots of help Hockeyboy. And I do appreciate the help you give, not just to me but to other people. Sometimes I'll just read through a post and you will post something that I needed to read without me even asking. Also your information is very helpful since most of us guys are the same as you, very stuborn and not wanting to give up. I know I was at first, and after you and Iceman told me that I just needed to back off and stop talking to her I accepted what was going on and went on with life. Both of you also said that she would come back if I let her go, and sure enough she did come back and apolagize and now we are back together. Anyways, I just wanted to say congrats on your 1000 post, and thanks for the help.

Okay sorry. I just read into it too much I guess, because I thought that you were comparing you ex's values to other girls, and I just knew from experience that it wont make you happy doing that. Anyways, sorry for missreading things.

Yeah but it's still a comparision being made. I did the same thing. My g/f is very head strong and goal oriented as well, plus she has very high religious and moral beliefs. Whenever I met a girl that didn't have those same values/beliefs as her I would start to loose interest in the "new" girl since she wasn't the same. I'm just saying a comparision is a comparision, no matter what, and you wont ever find something that compares to your ex.

Yeah your post was quite "out there" and I figured you were on something to be speaking the way you were. One thing that I notice though is that you seem to compare people to your ex. This is not a good thing, because in your eyes no one will compare to her. I know I did this during my break to. Every girl I met I compared to my g/f (or ex at the time) and of course no one could match up to her. Even when 2 girls offered to have a threesome, I was like "geez even 2 girls at once won't compare to just being with my girl". I know you want your ex back, but in order for you to move on you need to stop "idolizing" your ex and just live for the moment. Just my 2 cents, and I may be way off too.

Tiger beat me to the same point. He wasn't considerate of you when he was with another woman, or now when he's being secritive, so why should you bother being so considerate of him.

Well you can never have a happy relationship if you don't trust him. Plain and simple. If the trust is gone, the love will soon follow. Okay he cheated, big mistake on his part. You took him back, big mistake on your part. Problem is humans tend to be repetitive and creatures of "old habits" and although he said he's done, those were just words to say. Since you took him back you gave his mind a loop hole in your relationship. He can get away with whatever he wants, and you will still take him back. Sorry but I've seen this all to many times (I was on the flip side with girls that cheated and I took them back). I don't want to tell you to just end the relationship if that's not what you want, but I've been there and sometimes it's just easier to cut your losses and move on then to live months of torment just find out the same things are happening again.

Well first I think you really need to talk to her and find out why she really wants to end things (I think her family may have told her she's not ready for this, or something like that). Once you find out it will make it easier for you to show her that support you want to show her. If it's just her family, then you can still try to make contact with her to let her know you still care, but you can't put your life on hold for her either. If it's other issues (she may have told her family about things she didn't like and they told her to just end it then) at least you know what's going on. Right now there's nothing you could really do in this situation, it's between her and her family. She may not want to get you involved, so she ended things with you so she could handle this on her own. As I said, this is a really tough thing to do. When family interfiers with a relationship it makes things hard for both people. All you can do is tell her that you will be there to support her if she needs it, and that you will still want to be with her in the future is she wants that, but you can't sit and wait around either since you have your own life to live too. Hope things go well, and good luck to you.

Well being intimate with an ex is never a good thing. It always causes mixed feelings/emotions to one person, while the other thinks it's just some sex between people that already know how to please each other. When me and my g/f were first intimate during our break up (it was like 3 weeks after we broke up, and the first time we saw each other in 2 weeks) it ended up just making things worse after that. Sure that night she said she wanted to have sex with me, since I'm the only guy she wants to do that with plus I can please her in ways she knows no one will ever be able to do. I wanted to have sex with her becasue I was drunk, lonely, and horny. The next day though she started to make me feel like we were back together even though we weren't, then when I confronted her about it, it just turned into a fight and we eneded up back were we started, not talking and seeing each other for another week. Anyways, being intimate was a mistake, as you can see how he reacted when he left. I know you two have plans to go to your bros wedding next month, but I think you should have a serious talk with him before attending it. You need to let him know how you feel about him (still loving him but not wanting to anymore) as well as let him know that you two should no longer be intimate with each other for now (who knows you two could become "friends with benifits" but that is a hard thing as well). Just visit him for a bit to get all these things out and find out whats really going on in each of your heads, especially after the few nights you had together, then take things from there.

Well you shouldn't be paraniod about this, since if he says he's busy then he's busy. Yeah most guys may just put all things to the side to just have sex, but he must feel really strong for you to not be this way. Although you both talked and said your ready, he may want to make sure your first time is a night to remember, and not just a "quicky" before going to work. He's been busy, and you have been busy too, so don't go thinking that he doesn't want to be with you since he's been trying to schedule this time with you since the day you two talked. Just take things slow and everything will be just fine. That's good that the two of you talked first before just jumping into it.

Yeah suppression is really helpful for the time being, but it can come back to hurt you later on in life. I know this from experience. I suppressed a lot of my old "bad" feelings from past relationships gone wrong, and it made me feel better and stronger. But then when my g/f and I broke up, I just blew up. All of those past feelings/emotions came flooding back into my mind and I took it out on her. I was really harsh/rude to her for a couple days, and I was really surprised that she kept coming back and wanting to "be friends" during the break period. Even after we got back together, I still had some "left over" supressed feelings that came up, but I was able to handle them in a more civil manner, and talk to her aobut it. It's hard to say what you need to look for, since now one will really know all the answers to the "book of love" no matter how far they read into it. You already know what you want to look for (honesty, maturity, and so on) and you already know how to spot someone who doesn't act that way, so your on the right track right now. What's more important for you right now is that you should not worry about hurting someone else, but hurting yourself, or letting yourself get hurt. As many people have said, once you stop looking for love, then it will come to you. I was exactly like you when I was 19-20. I didn't want anything to do with girls and was tired of all the games and lies too. I pretty much just gave up on love and girls, and decided to just live my life, go to school, and keep working towards my dreams. Then I ended up meeting my current g/f in a class. It was very unexpected, and something I wasn't even looking for, but it turned out to be everything I always wanted in a relationship and from a girl. It also helped because I was ready for that type of relationship even though I wasn't looking for it (spending that time on myself and making myself happy made me ready for anything). So I guess all I can say is that you just need to keep moving forward, one step at a time and one day someone will show up to grab your hand and help you up those next set of steps.

My first serious relationship came when I was just turning 21 (I hooked up with my g/f on my B-day ). But when I was 15 and hooked with this one chick, I thought that was my first "serious" relationship, but it turned out to be just a fling (for both of us).