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Well if you do go to a Plan Parenthood clinic for a check up and possibly get some Birth control pills, most places will give you a couple MAP pills with them. When my g/f wanted to try using BC pills we went to a clinic just because she was scared about going to a doctor and having her parents find out (she was 20 at the time, but just didn't want her parents to have a bad image of me) and the clinic gave us a 3 month supply of BC and 4 MAP pills, for those "just in case" situations. Like everyone has said before, if you and your b/f are serious about taking this next step then the two of you need to sit down and have a serious talk about the possible consiquences. Even if you are taking BC, and he wears a condom, there is a slight possibility that you can become pregnant, and if you two aren't ready for that type of commitment to each other then your not ready to be having sex. Also if you are planning on having sex and are planning on wanting to be "prepared" for this, you may want to discuss things with your parents just so they know that you are trying to take this next step (they may get upset and try to tell you that you can't see him, but we all know that parents can't always stop their kids). At least your parents could be there to help you out and discuss things about being pregnant and using BC. Just a thought though, it's your choice.

Yeah play that as just a friend thing at first, with the possiblity of more happening. Pretty much this girl is showing you that if she wants something, she will go for it (she is very determined and up front, both good and bad things depending on how you take them). Since she never said anything about just being friends, but she did say that she would like to go out with you and see you over the break, that is a indication that she is interested but don't rush into things. Play it as just friends, call her up and invite her out to something and take things from there. If she later drops the "just friend" bomb then your fine, since you already went into this thinking she was just a friend anyways.

I don't know whay your getting at, but do you mean the girl gives you her number before you even ask for it, knowing that you would have? If that's the case, then she's just showing you that she is interested (my g/f wrote her number in my notebook before leaving class when we met). Some girls do this because they feel like the person is friendly or something, and just want to let them know that they would like to talk more. Now if your talking about a girl already in a relationship and she gives out her number to another guy, then thats different. Although there are many different circumstances where a girl will do this (such as a work friend, or study friend from class), but if she is just going out and giving her number, then she's trying to keep her options open. In case things don't work out in her current relationship, she already has a few guys on the backburner that she will be able to go out with. I don't know if this stuff helped or not, but if you could be a little more clear on your question, then maybe I (or others) would be able to give you a better answer.

Yeah this may not make sense RL, but sometimes no reason is the best reason to leave someone. By not giving you an answer, she's basically telling you that she can't think of any reason why she should stay with you. Even if a person gives you a reason for leaving you, it will still leave you with more questions and wanting more reasons. The perfect example of this was when I dumped this girl I was with in HS. The relationship wasn't that great, and we were just way too different for each other. I eventually just told her that things between us have gone as far as they could, and that it would be best for both of us to just end it now. She, of course, wanted a reason why. When I gave her one, it just led to her wanting a reason for that (I said "I don't care about you in that way anymore", and she said "Why don't you care anymore?"). When I answered the next question, of course it led to another question. This went on for about 6 or 7 questions before I got fed up and just said "It's over plain and simple, just accept it". So to sum it up, finding a reason why will not give you any closure or make you feel better, it will just make you dwell on it more and more. She couldn't give you a reason why she's leaving, so it's just like her not giving you a reason why she should stay.

Yeah congragulations Jacy on your very Merry Christmas. Starting over is a good thing, and hopefully this time around things go good for the two of you.

Well first I would say that your b/f is a punk for saying it to you like that. Yeah everyone has seen a person that they think is "hot" or whatever and are in a relationship, but to flat out tell your s/o that they aren't the most beautiful person is pretty harsh. If he has stopped complementing you then yes I would say that he is either loosing interest or having some type of issues in his head about you. You may want to sit him down and have a talk with him and see if he is still interested in being with you or not.

Pretty much everyone here has sumed up all the advice you will ever need. Every girl is different, and different positions "hit" different women. The whole "does size matter" debate is really just in your head. Sex is more than just how big your are and how far you can go in, but it's about the emotional connection felt during sex. Anyways, if you want to learn about some new positions and stuff then check out this link here and read up on it link removed

Give it a day or two. That's cool that he took the inititive to make the contact to you (even if was just for a happy holidays), and if you sent the message and he didn't get it thats cool. Don't stress on it too much, if he was interested in hearing from you he won't mind waiting a day for you to get your things together and wait for service in your area to work.

Danm your ex is such and idiot Hope that helped with the amusement a little. It is the truth though, and a bit scary that after 3 years he found a way to "track" you down. But he still is an idiot for more that one reason. Hope things get better for you and hope the power comes back later on.

That is a really hard question to answer. Yes women like a man that could be funny, but they mainly like it when a guy can make them smile. Doing this requires a bit of work, and there really isn't no set of jokes that you can use to help you. Each girl is different, and some may not understand the joke, some may get offended, and some may think your trying to hard. The best thing is to just be yourself, and let the "jokes" come to you naturally. Some jokes can be made by observing the situation (like when walking and you see somthing that is funny), some jokes can be made from similiar experiences (if she says she did something, and you happen to have the same experience), and some jokes can be personal (maybe only you and the girl know about something that only you two find funny). A good start would be to watch a comedy together, since it gives a few jokes and laughs that you can share together. It will also give you an insight into what type of humor she has so you know what the boundries are. Plus this helps in establishing those "personal" jokes that only you and her could share.

Well life will always beat down on you and try to bring you down, it's part of life. It's during these times that we really find out what we are made of and what type of person we want to become. I'm not gonna lie, I've been in your shoes. I've tried that a few times in my past. I have the scars to show, I had the pills all ready, I had "Goodbye Letters" all written and sealed, and even had a rope all set and ready to go. But you can't let those thoughts get the best of you. You can't just give up. You may not see it now, but there is so much more out there for you that you see. You say you can't go to the pool because your hairy, well I'm Italian (the hariest race of people) and just to give a little FYI, most girls love a hairy man. You say your parents don't listen, but have you ever really sat down and talked to them? I sure as hell didn't until my second suicide attempt, and thats when I realized that they do listen and do care, I was the one shutting them out. The holidays can be a bi*** when you feel this way, but don't give up. Don't take that path. If you can conquer this during this time, it will show you how strong you really are, and how capable you are of handling some of the most stressful situations. I hope things can get better for you, and that you don't feel this way anymore. Live life to the fullest.

I think thats how my sister got around things as well. I don't know how our insurance was back then (I was in JH and didn't pay attention to stuff like that) but I know that she got some doctors to say that it was unhealthy for her to be the size that she was, and that the reason why her lower back was hurting so much was also due to this problem. They put a report together saying this stuff, and saying that if she didn't get a reduction soon she will be left with permanent back pain and a possible "hunch" in her spine from it. As I said though, I was young and didn't pay attention to all this so I don't know if this was the way they got it done or not, but it is something to consider.

I didn't read what anyone else has said, and I'm sure someone might have already said this, but if you have to "think" that your in love, then your not. There are alot of feeling/emotions that we have that are either a firm yes or a firm no. There is no in-between and maybes when it comes to being "in love". People who are "in love" know that they are "in love" and the ones who don't also know that they are not. If you have to think about it and your only answer would be "Well I think I love her becasue of x reason and y reason", well your not "in love" with that person yet, your just really attracted and comfertable being with that person. Give it some time, you'll come back to this thread and think "yeah there right, I can only be in love or not, I can't just think I am". Merry Christmas, Happy New Years, and God Bless Everyone here for all there help/support to everyone else.

Well I would say no, don't send it. You already tried to make contact with him and he hasn't responded. Yeah he may be busy at work and stuff, but people always find a way to contact the people that mean something to him. It's not that hard to give a quick 2 minute call to say hi back to you and say the he's really busy. Also you already know how bad you would feel if he doesn't reply back to you, so why put yourself through that. It sounds like you only want to send it just so he would call/contact you, but then you know that your going to feel really down if he doesn't. I would just leave it alone. You've done what you can and he hasn't shown any effort to try and contact you. Just have a Merry Christmas with your family/friends and leave him be, if he really wants to contact you he will put in the effort to get it done.

Thats cool. Hey I had my whole "first" date planned down to every last detail 3 weeks before asking out my g/f. What's even worse is that we never even talked to each other yet, we only made eye contact a few times in class and exchanged a few smiles and "how are you" conversations. It wasn't until 2 days before I planned the "date" that I finally started to talk to her and asked her out (luckily we both had a huge crush on each other before knowing each other, so things worked out just fine). Anyways it's not a bad thing to have that type of thought process, but it's good to have a bit of spontinuity as well. Merry Christmas and have a safe (and sober for some) New Year.

Just on a side note, I wouldn't ask her out for a beer or drinks until your sure of things. Coffee and tea is a safer medium without having alcohol cloud what you (and her) want to say to each other. Plus it's a bit more relaxing and comfertable to go to a little coffee shop or something instead of a bar or resteraunt type place. I just think that a coffee afterwork would be a better invite then going out for some drinks, just because it doesn't seem so much as a "first date" situation (although they mostly are) and more like a "getting to know you" type of situation. Well anyways, best of luck and have fun.

I really don't like the idea of plastic surgery to make a womens breat larger (since everyone should be happy with what they got) but I don't see the harm in getting a reduction if necessary. My sister had a reduction done years ago, because a few doctors told her that she would suffer a large amount of back pain as she got older due to her porpotion. She did notice a big difference, I didn't really pay attention (I don't look at my sister and see how big she is) but I did notice that her posture was getting better. She said the pain lasted for only about a month, but it didn't really interfier with her life. The only other thing that she said was a problem were the scars left afterwards. She used some Coco butter and vitamin E oil to help get rid of those, and so far she has said everything is fine. Her surgery was about 5 years ago in case you wanted to know. As far as the sagging and stuff, I agree with ticklebug on needing something to properly support you. During HS my sister had that same problem because she was on the swim team and was going to get a scholarship to a College for it. She ended up needing to buy a properly fitting swimsuit and sports bra for her training and because she was having the same problems as you. Hope everything goes well for you.

I wasn't trying to say that you were using NC in a mean way, I was just trying to say that if it's not right for you, then it's not right. NC doesn't always work, and it doesn't always help couples get back together either. For some people it just pushes them further away, to the point where they want nothing to do with the ex. If that is what you want to accomplish then stick on the path your on. If you do feel that getting back together with her is something you want, and you feel that she is reaching out to you for your company, then stop the NC and see what happens. Yes it does suck when you let an ex back into your life just to be dumped again later on (when my g/f and I first started talking, we went out and had fun, but two days later we felt we were rushing and ended the relationship again for a short while) but it's something that happens to help you grow. It isn't until you really mess up and dig yourself into a huge whole, that you realize how to handle situations properly (although no matter how hard you try you may never know how to handle the oppisite sex). If you do let her back in your life, it doesn't mean your letting her back in completely. Once you accept her back into your life, you know have control over the relationship and were you want things to go. If you want to keep things slow, make sure you establish that when you start talking so she knows (I told my g/f that I wouldn't be "fully" with her until I felt that I could trust her back into my heart when we got back together over a month ago, and it wasn't until a 2 weeks ago that I felt I could trust her again). If you only let her in to you life in a very small portion, you don't really have to worry about how you would feel is she did decide that things are wrong and doesn't want to be with you.

Well it is hard to say whether she really likes you, is interested in you, or is just being friendly to the "new guy" from her actions, but there is no harm in you making a move to see what she is really getting at. Since the both of you know and work with book all day, try using that to your advantage on asking her out. Try to see what styles of books she likes (if you don't know) and see if you could invite her out to talk about a story or passage from a book you know that she will also know (most women love a guy that reads and can discuss literature). Just ask her out for a cup of coffee and sit down and talk. If you don't want it to really look like a date, just so you don't put her in the wrong situation, try doing it after work. I think that she is "into" you a little bit due to the physical touching she does (most girls that are just flirts don't usualy touch a person, they just say things). The best way to get over that fear you have of letting that other girl "get away" is to not let this one get away either. If you like her go for it, just be subtle enough to make her feel comfertable. If she doesn't like you in that way, and you are subtle about the whole thing, you won't have to go through that whole "I only like you as a friend" conversation since her actions will show you how she feels. This will also help you in noticing what a girl does when she likes a person, or is just being a friendly flirt.

You do the whole NC thing until you feel it's right for her to be back in your life. There is no set time limit you can put on it, and if she is just calling to wish you a happy holiday, there is no harm in you sending the same back. If she does call you, yes you can play it short and cut the phone call off quick, but if that's not how you really feel then don't do it. Yes NC is great advice for some couples when they break up, but some couples need to keep the lines of communication open if they want anytype of reconciliation (sp?). When my g/f broke up with me, half of the people here told me to establish NC, while the other half said to talk to her once a week like we planned. At first I did the NC thing for a couple days, but when she called me and we talked, the NC didn't feel right. So I told her about seeing each other once a week to talk and keep communicating, which she was happy to do. It helped us get through the whole "confusion" (she broke up with me because she was confused and wanted to be sure that 2 years in a relationship was going to lead to something further) and helped us to get back together. It's a really hard situation to be in, especially during the holidays. Our breakup was during Thanksgiving, my B-Day, and our 2 year anniversary, so it made it really hard on both of us to try and keep the NC rule in effect. The same could be said about your ex, she is so use to that "comfort" she gets from you during the holidays, that this Christmas is really bringing her down. No need to pour salt on the wound by just giving her the cold shoulder because you want to keep the NC up, but if that's how you really feel then I guess there's nothing anyone really needs to tell you. If you really want to talk to her and communicate things with her, then do it. If you don't, then keep up your NC till the end of time. Either way the choice is yours and it depends on what you really want to gain from this whole situation. If you want to give her another chance, this may be the time that she is asking for it, or she may just want to wish you a happy holiday since you two were together for a year before.

My g/f made that same vow after we broke up. She said that there was no way she would let another man touch her body in any way unless that man was ready to be her husband, and made that type of commitment. I know she made that vow for personal reasons as well, but I also know she made that vow just to let me know that she only wanted to be with me (although she made the vow, she still talked about us getting back together and having sex before being married). Anyways, that is a good point Well since some girls will make that type of decision when they get older and "mature" a bit more from their past. I think if a girl does make that type of vow and asks for her past to be wiped clean, then you (any guy) should look at it like she is a "born again virgin".

Supernove, waiting for a girl that has the same "values" as you is fine, and no one would tell you otherwise, but if your excommunicating every other girl just because of that issue then your being very harsh. Not all girls loose their virginity at the right time (and some arn't drunk either), some girls are "persuaded" into believing that the moment is right, some are forced into it, and others are just plain raped. All of those girls wish they could go back and take that moment back, but they cant and if your going to completely push them to the side because of what happened, then I think that is a really harsh move. I was the same as you for a while, I felt that sex should only be done between 2 people who really felt like there was love, not lust. But I ended up loosing my virginity to a girl who pretty much "lied" about everything just so she could sleep with me. I felt like you and only wanted to talk to girls who were virgins, and felt that those were the only types of girls I would be comfertable with. But a few years in college changed that for me. I started meeting girls who had a "history", but is was mostly a history that they were ashamed of and wished had never happened. I think I started to feel bad for them, and maybe since my "history" was the same, I realized that I had to just let those things go. It's hard to do though, even with my current g/f, who after 2 years tells me something from her past that upset me at first, but I soon came to realize (with the help of somepeople here) that her past is something that needs to stay there. The moment was never right for her in that situation, but it happened, and when I was holding it against her for a few days it made me feel really childish and immature, so I let it go and said "hey were together now, and all that matters is what we do together". Waiting for someone is fine, just don't let it cloud your vision in meeting people who could possibly be very important influences in your life. Trying not to be judgmental is hard, but one way to look at it is think about your own past (regarding everything). I'm sure eveyone has a few things they have done in their life that they regret doing, and I'm sure you wouldn't want someone to use that type of information to make a judgment about you and your character rigth? The same principle should go with how you view these girls that you meet (I'm not saying you have to date them or anything, but you can give them the benifit of doubt before moving on).

Yes guyes like that almost as much as girls. Everytime my g/f kisses my neck I get chills all down my side and get a huge rush from it.

Get well soon PA and I hope everything goes well for you over the holidays. Hope you get to come back soon and share all of your wonderful advice again. Merry Christmas and Happy New Years.

Yeah I'm really lucky to be with someone so understanding and so caring as her. It's funny that you said that, because she called me this morning to talk, and said the same thing. First she had said "I love you" and when I said it back she said "you know I really really love you", which I responded with the same. Then she went on to say how lucky she is to be with me and to have someone in her life that is so caring, understanding, and sweet, and that she doesn't want this to end. Anyways, I just thought it was funny that you posted that since she had called and said the same thing this morning. And thank you RayKay for your advice, yours was really helpful for me to understand things better.