DropToZero

Easiest ways...especially for guys, like the above says, 1)dont lose your normal routine(hobbies, clubs, gyms, school), 2) don't lose your friends(because the last thing you want is to get all wrapped up in a guy and forget about your friends, then when you and he are done, there are no friends left because you abandoned them all), and 3)...date more than one guy...that's the easiest way of course to keep from focusing on any one person and finding out who's best for you(of course this has to be if you're not "serious" with one of them). Good luck, hope your next relationship goes better.

I dont know the backstory, but if heloladies21 does, I 2ND that. You tell her that and there won't BE a 4th date...or a kiss. Do what the above says, calm down, move slower...and definitely don't even let the idea of "I love you" come accross your mind again for a long time....by that I mean like at least a few months, possibly more, into an actual relationship. You will scare her off if you tell her that, or keep telling her you really like her, so don't.

Kinda like darkblue said, mixed signals are a key in guys doing this. I'm not so sure every one of them does it with an 'attitude' in mind as you say, cause I guess I sort of do it without even thinking about it sometimes. I kind of even have my own rule, of NOT letting too much out too soon. Meaning...I give a little, and then I take it back. Example being, I'll kiss you(if we've been out once or twice) a few times in the beginning of the date maybe, then I'll wait a long time, maybe not till mid or near the end of the date to do it again. I have pretty good self control I've been told, and any girl I've dated said that's something they hate....but I think it's something some girls love to hate, cause I'll always leave you wanting more. Most girls like that, it's just the unexpectedness....not boring...always something new, you don't know what I'll do next sometimes. I do my best to keep everything alive and not repetitive. Another thing I won't do...is chase, yea, I mean I'll give a little, but if I have to put in more effort than I feel necessary, and you're not giving some too...don't bother. Just so you know, women do the same thing too. Some people just like the idea of being 'chased.'

Very very good, great poem and a great lesson in life. See now why people should go thru life not regretting what they've done, but only what they didn't do. Tell your friend it's great tho, and I'd even be interested in reading more if he has any others to post.

It's just the social setting, not everyone goes out to parties to get drunk. You meet new people every time you go out, and you have a good time with your friends. Just some people take it too far and don't know their limits, that's when drinking can cause problems. Yes, I'll say there are nights when my aim is to get wasted too, it's just something that puts you out there, and you forget about everything for the night and have a good time. I haven't been drunk too many times, because most of the time I just use drinking as a way to meet people. Honestly tho, musicguy, I thought the same way you did until Spring '05, and then I just gave in. It wasn't the worst of things, and I had a great time, and I've probably met more people than I ever did in the past year than when I was trying to meet people in classes...people in classes are too uptight sometimes to talk and aren't into mingling and flirting during class. It's just the setting, it's a good time, maybe go try it sometime, just see, because I judged it like you did, and in the end found out it was actually something I probably needed in my life just for a little release.

Yeah, I dont know about your 'Status', and I'm not going to tear into you about it, but don't get so full of yourself just cause you're a high socially acceptable man when a girl turns you down it's literally wrong. I don't know how you present yourself, but obviously she didnt like the over-confidence. It's okay to be confident, but if you're going to be cocky, you have to keep it at a level where it's funny, not just all out "I'm great at this, I have a million friends, I go to a party every other nite etc..." ..okay? And one last thing...You're 16, you have a lot to learn, 2 more years, and your 'status' won't mean ANYTHING...you'll be in the real world and everyone will go their own ways out of highschool. I wish more people understood that in highschool...when you're in the real world, no one's gonna care if you were a huge partier, and were awesome at surfing unless you end up actually going into the world at that profession. Just letting you know, when you turn 18 and graduate, you start over pretty much.

Yea, just like everyone else said, 3-4 days is way too soon, I'd actually say anywhere from like 6-8 dates, not 3-4...unless the girl was really just that into you and ready to become serious. Not to mention this either, since you seem to have no problem picking and flirting with girls(which most others have trouble with), you've got one of the more difficult parts figured out. So how about next time...instead of even letting the idea of being g/f and b/f crossing your mind, NEVER mention it until she does. Never talk about it unless she brings it up, if she does, don't delve into how you want a serious relationship right now, just say you're taking your time to get to know people, dating, and if it turns into something more, so be it... Basically, just play it cool about the relationship, let her worry about whether or not she wants it to 'go' further or not.

Like you said, I think it depends on the individual and the reason for the break too. If it's just because he/she's really busy and just needs time to sort out their life, then I think it'd be okay to wait for a little while(just don't let them leave you hanging, find out what he/she wants). If the reason is because he/she's feeling really cornered and smothered, then it could take a lot of time, if at all he/she decides to come back. That usually means something is really wrong at that point tho I would think. Just hanging around to see what could happen I'm learning is a waste of time, the idea that people seem to think "things will get better" in time usually are not true, yet they still hold onto it and hope. It's best to just leave if all you're doing is waiting, go out, date someone else during that point in time if you have the heart to(depends on how strong the relationship was), go out with friends, just do not sit by the phone and wait. Good luck

If you think you have mono, then there really is nothing that's just going to make you better. Best go to the doctor and get tested tho to find out, because if you do, and you spend time with your b/f, then you can't really have any physical activity with him(kissing etc) or even sharing a cup/drink would get him sick. Mono's not fun, it sucks I know, but there's not really a quick cure either, just drink a lot of fluids like you've been doing and rest a lot, it can take like 6 weeks for the fatigue to go away. Again, getting tested would be better to make sure of it, because also I think something like your spleen is very tender at the time of having mono and could easily rupture based on certain physical activies.

No no, of course not, you're not considered easy if you give a guy your number the first time you meet. That would be BS if any guy thought that way, you know the reason he's asking you for your number, and if you are interested at all you should give it to him. Not to mention, what if you two never cross paths again? I mean, does every guy you find attractive always seem to find a way to run into you again sometime or another? So no, getting a number is just the next step to dating or something further at least, if you didn't give it out, then you may never see him again or find out what 'could' have happened. Again too, most guys that are shy will NOT ask for a number when they first meet you b/c they DO think it is too forward to ask the first time, when in reality that's normally not true. Most girls will give out their numbers if they think they're going to have a good time with a guy, friend or more than friends. Most of the guys you meet that ask you for your number after like the 4th or 5th meeting + are the shy ones that had to build up that courage to ask you, most of them think you have to be friends first too....anyways, that's the only other time most guys would wait that long.

Yea I know exactly what you mean when it comes to "hooking up"...I can't tell half the time when anyone tells me that if they are talking about exchanging numbers, kissing, messing around, or sex...unless they actually define it and tell me, confuses me too. Everyone's got their different definitions, so I guess stratguy really is right, just make sure you and whoever you're with are on the same 'level' and understand one another and what you each want, or you're just going to end it all in pain.

It depends on the person and their standards truly, some may go straight to being b/f and g/f right away, and others may wait a while and be dating others. To me..."dating" is when you have two people goin out, or hanging together, learning about one another, but your lives are not consumed by each other and aren't hanging out every other day. Maybe date like once or twice a week...this is how you find if the person is 'right' for you and whether or not you would like to be serious with him/her. Then...if you find there is something wrong with him/her, you can end it...or you could just continue dating etc, if you don't want anything serious. If you two choose to want to pursue a relationship, that usually means the two of you have decided you want to be exclusive and you're not going to date anyone else besides one another, and from there on-out, any certain activities with other girls/guys beyond flirting are more or less going to be considered cheating. That is when you two become b/f and g/f. Understand...I hope that helps and I didnt leaven anything out...that's at least what it means to me.

Haha wow, that's some luck...that or you drive a really nice car...don't see that kind of forwardness come from girls very often. Other than that, they seem to like you, or they wouldn't have had the courage to do something like that...so give them a call, invite them somewhere with you and maybe even a friend or two of yours...get to know them....see if there's one for you. And don't forget to flirt and have a great time heh, good luck!

I think I can understand this somewhat, based on something, or at least an excerpt from this article called "Beauty redefines the male body." I had to read and write a paper on it in an english class a few quarters ago....so it would be interesting for any of you to find or read if you want to know what it's about. Anyways, it's kinda like darkblue said, most, not all, but most guys aren't as secure about their bodies as women...there's just something that doesnt seem as sexually stimulating to guys when they think about stripping, yet women have really well defined bodies that almost seem like it's normal for them to be able to strip. I can't think of everything I remember reading, but it is about how women when they are naked seem more in a natural state, and guys almost feel awkward about it if they are. That's just based on what I've read though, that's why I think guys aren't usually set to go home and strip for their partner.

Let me guess too...in every dream, everything is great(that I get by you saying you've been kissing her and such)...and then you wake up, feel great, then it takes you like a split second to realize it was a dream, none of it was true and you feel like crap again?

Same problem man, past 3 of 4 nights, personally it's making me feel like contacting too, because I know my whole situation was never truly put to rest...and keep thinking that maybe contact would help...but I'm doing my best to fight it.

Ah...what's the quote so famously heard about this... "It's better to have one and not need it, than to need one and not have it" Hehe, well anyways, I don't think every guy carries them around...I had before but figured that was stupid, and I leave it hidden in my car. That and I read a 'story' about that convinced me to leave it in my car and not in my wallet hah.

One SXXY lady, I understand where you're coming from, but like I said, what mad people mad is that you called it a game, you're doing it on purpose. I'm not mad at you or trying to change your mind, I just hope you don't end losing a good opportunity with one of these guys possibly because of this. I don't suggest you throw yourself at ANY guy for attention or call too often, or too little. The point is to be a self-controlled individual that can function on their own, doesn't become insecure because it's been "a few days and he/she hasn't called back," and to be yourself. Some girls I've dated would argue that I don't call often enough, and that could be quite possible especially in the earlier stages of dating. With your story, you say you've gone N/c with one of the guys because it's been 4 days right? For me, that's nothing, I usually call maybe twice at the most, but usually once a week and nothing more. That's just me tho, I use the phone to set up dates and/or meet, and do my best to not use it for anything else. So by what you think is no contact for 4 days, is just something normal to me. Possibly this guy could be the same way too...just be in control and don't let your "fun" limit you and what could happen out of this. Personally, like someone said before, and I've had it done to be recently(you read), if I found out you were doing this on purpose...you're gone in my book, who's to say you wouldn't pull some sort of game like this later on in something that could be more serious....? You should just be careful, it might just be fun now, but you're being judged based on your actions and personality right now, if these guys think "this" is how you are, you're just goin to make it harder to change their opinions of you if it does turn into anything more.

Yes, I understand that you're doing this right from the beginning, no one should get hurt or anything. The idea that you called it a game outright and you're doing it on purpose like a test for the guys is what I imagine pissed some people off. The other thing is like I said, don't pull this stuff way into dating when you know someone really cares about you(which probably isn't the case now, but could be in the future). It's really easy to think something like this could work later on in a relationship and end up hurting someone, or finding someone just as stubborn as you, and neither of you call or contact and it's over. You could just end up losing a good guy because you wanted to play a 'game'.

Uh huh, see I believe you can be right at times....but giving it 30 days? That I disagree with. I was dating a girl, the it was put on hold for a while, then we started dating again, and this girl used to call me all the time, like every two days, at the most, and never longer than a week in-between contacts whether I had called her or not. You know what happened, I thought after we got back together that we would be past all the games now since we were more serious, and what happened was she pulled the same 'crap' you're pulling right after she said she would "call me." This late into the game, I consider to hold someone to their words and won't contact if they say they'll "call me," a month and a half later, she tries to get back in contact casually and act like nothing's wrong(a MONTH and a HALF later), by then, I'm pissed at her and told her that, she screwed it up, and now I'm dating someone else....so don't mess with people and how they feel about you.

Hah, I dont know about that, I think you're just taking in too much liquor. You keep saying you're not getting drunk?...yet you also say you're getting ill and throwing it up. Possibly you're not eating enough while or before drinking and the alcohol won't settle well with your stomach. Either way, if you keep getting sick and vomiting, then ....it makes sense, yea you're not goin to get drunk if the alcohol does not dissolve into your bloodstream, sure a little bit will, but not enough to make you more than buzzed because you're vomiting it before it can take it's "effect." Try drinking slower...like someone said, maybe beer, but drink it over a much longer period of time, even mix in some liquor if you want, I'm sure you'll get what you want without vomiting it.

I know what you mean man, you guys just broke up, it's really hard to forget. Do your best to keep 'moving on' tho, that's the best way to get over it. If you sit at home and are bored out of your mind, more than likely you're going to think of her ...a lot. So get out, keep your mind busy, read a book, go see a movie, find some new hobby or work harder on one you have already, try to move on emotionally too...but that could take longer than just a week. Good luck...it'll pass with time....it's only week one.

Yes I understand exactly where you're coming from, studies on people's eyes dilating when they're attracted to someone etc... I used to depend on those things, but they're NOT sure fire ways to determine if someone likes you. You can say that you 'feel' it, but she doesn't feel it...and that's what matters. Girls do NOT care how much you like them, it only matters how much she likes you. And that's the only thing that matters, you wont be able to convince her that she likes you or anything, attraction is just a gut feeling and it can't be described in words...and that's what will determine whether or not you get the 'yes' or 'no'. You got the no, sorry. And I could be wrong, unless you are 100% SURE she does not have a boyfriend, like if you confront her on it and say she lied to you tomorrow...she may be attracted to you and does have a b/f but won't break it off w/ him to go out with you, like said, those unknowing body signals that are given off are possible, but it doesn't prove anything beyond the signals...there does have to be some form of flirting or touching in order to really find out. I mean really, yea her eyes can sparkle, but I think what Belle said it right, you're just seeing what you want to see, not to mention the light could have been bad in the room, her pupils will dilate then too.

I'm sorry, but WHAT? I totally disagree with all the above people, why would you walk away from that opportunity? I love my best friend's quote, "dont regret what you've done in the past, only regret what you didn't do." Like he said, he's NEVER seen her before, he may NEVER see her again...so I dont like how people are just like "say hi next time you see her", when you may never again get that opportunity. He would NOT have seemed like a player for walking over and talking to a girl that seemed to be staring in his direction pretty often...I don't know where you'd get that from. Women get approached every day, and it doesn't have to be in a bar setting or a party in order to get a phone number and meet someone new to possibly date. What would I have done? My personal opinion, after I noticed her looking, and like you had said, "locking eyes", I would have walked over to her. Very friendly, open and smiling, and put on a great act and be like "Hey, what's wrong?", and she's goin to be surprised and be like "what do you mean?", then you say " I saw you from over there, and I was waiting like 10 mins for you to come over and say Hi and you didnt hehe, are you afraid?" Saying that with a smile, and hopefully she'd get that joke and smile back or laugh...great opening, and you're in...easy as that. Talk for a few mins, then using YOUR friends as even a good reason to leave, you talk for lets say...5 mins, then at the end you tell her you're going back to your friends, start to leave, then turn back and ask for her number(and dont say why you want it, she knows why). She writes it down, you go back to your friends, you guys leave the building...it's done. I can't believe everyone here said you did the right thing, I mean I'm not trying to rub it in, but dont pass up opportunities like that. I mean I could understand if she was glaring at you and you went over and said "Hi" and she said "buzz off" or just acted unfriendly, but you didnt even get to that point. Hope you dont miss the opportunity next time, if you see her.

French kissing is normal....it's basically what all americans call "making out"...so yea. Other than that, like the above, it's more like a gradual step thing, I probably wouldn't french kiss the girl on a first date unless for some reason she was really forward and initiated it to that point. French kissing is considered like a sexual kiss tho...some people, like myself can be turned on by that sort of kissing very easily, that's usually what tells your partner whether or not you're 'good' or a 'bad' kisser, and that's normally how you'll be judged. I've been told I'm pretty good at it, I dont really know tho, I havent kissed a lot of girls, but out of the ones I have, I know which ones I consider 'good' and others that are just average at it, and it's based on how they french kiss. Hah, it's also kinda odd, I haven't heard that phrase 'french kiss' in so long...since like grade school...I thought it was just considered a normality among people now.