DropToZero

Yea, I think GuiltyAsCharged has it, but if that's what it is, he's doing it all wrong. It's okay to tease, but if the girl herself is not laughing or able to take it as a joke, then the guy is not doing his job right. Like he said, I think it's just a guy that doesn't know how to flirt well.

I guess it sort of depends on what YOU want too...not just the guy. But really, I believe a saying I've heard " the quicker you hook up, the quicker you break up "....so it depends on what you want. If you want a relationship, I'd give it a few months, if you don't want it to turn into anything serious, then by all means, it's just when you feel like it.

First of all, slow down man, You've never even heard her voice and you say you're in love. I think you're just infatuated with an impersonation of her, so slow down. Second, she more than likely won't give it to you just in case, because women should be somewhat cautious because by giving you her home number you could find her address. So trust may be an issue, but I think she's being reasonable with the fact that she's never even heard your voice and should be a little apprehensive about giving you her home number. And I dont even know your age or hers, but if you guys are younger, I could definitely understand if she didnt want her parents picking up the phone when you called and they wanted to know who you were and she'd have to tell them, and she's never even met you. Just slow down tho....love's a big word for only online conversations.

I know the testosterone part seems a little out of wack, but I think what you're interpreting isn't the point he's really trying to get accross. He was talking about bulking up, and you're right, not all men have to be huge(or women for that matter) in order to attract women. Some women aren't attracted to really muscular guys at all, and to some it doesn't even matter. But that doesn't mean when you go to the gym and you see a really muscular guy that's 'cute' in your words you won't look and think he's hot. Just like guys seeing a lean, tan, blue-eyed blond girl that has a nice body won't stop them from looking from time to time. Anyways, the point I think he means in cutting down on masturbation, is so guys will get OUT and stop staying at home in front of their comps watchin porn. The 'idea' of cutting down on masturbation is too realize that as a male you need to get out and date girls, and stop sitting at home in front of the comp. So, the point he has is to let a male's 'drive for sex' drive him into going out and meeting other women. So cutting down, go longer without it, some guys will cut off masturbation until they've had sex I've heard. It's not just a goal, its just a use of 'sexual drive' to go out and actually have sex. I mean, monetlisa, are you more attracted to a guy who sits in front of his porn every other day masturbating and would never want to make love to you, or more attracted to a guy who doesn't do that, takes some intiative and will make love to you on occasion, but always leave you wanting more. I dont really know about the hunting tho man, I'm guessing it's just a more male thing to do even tho I know women that do it too. Male's job is to 'bring home food' for dinner at nite, like if you had to hunt for a living to feed your family. Other than that, if that's not what you mean, you're on your own hehe.

Finally...someone else who understands... I thought I was alone on here

Shows a lack of interest? Uh huh...I'm pretty sure if he's been online and messaging her every single time for the past couple of weeks, that shows interest. If I were him, I'd wonder why she isn't ever messaging him first because I think that shows a lack on interest on her part. Anyways, I think that right there shows she's not really all that interested if he has to message her first every time. That's why I suggested he try testing her and being a little laid back about the whole thing. And trust me, if she's interested, she'll do what I said. I did the same thing with a girl I met on AIM thru a friend on campus(long story). I would flirt with her all the time(like he does), and she'd laugh and we'd talk for an hour or so about nothing. Then I would end conversations and leave...and even without meaning too, I went like 3 days without msg'ing her first and she began to msg me first, a lot, I mean she wanted to talk every single nite of the week and was getting mad b/c I would come online and be on for like 5 mins and had not msg'd her yet. So yea, to the original poster, if she likes you, she'll msg you, if she doesnt, then she won't and you're just friends...like said, you'll get your answer no matter what. If you want to be a little safe, then go ahead continue what you're doing and wait another week before you try and 'stop' msg'ing her. In my opinion tho, you've showed enough interest and you're going to scare her off with too much attention. It's your choice, but don't worry about what's goin on in her mind about the situation, that's her problem, not yours. You just worry about yourself and keep goin with your life and meeting other girls etc...

You really want to 'test' her to find out, go a week or so without talking to her and see what happens. Get online, be available at times, then away at times too, but don't message her. In time, you'll find out depending on how she reacts. If she seems to be getting upset, she'll message you because she'll wonder why you're not messaging her. And if you've gone more than week without contacting her b/c she's not messaging you, trying IM'ing her first again and see what's up. See if she's just casual and doesnt seem to mind, or if she's like 'Where have you been! Why havent you msg'd me!' You'll get your answer...one way or another.

Anyways, you're not 'ugly', man, like they said, it's just one girl. If you really want to work on anything, work on your flirting, I would have never admitted that I thought this girl was gorgeous, no matter what she looks like or asked. When she asked for a rating 1-10, you should have been like (playfully), "Can I use negative numbers?"....and honestly, after she did answer your question with a 1, I would have used a negative number and then stopped talking to her cause what she said was pretty mean really man, she seems shallow to say that. The thing you'll learn, even with time, is that all girls seem to love some sort of a challenge. So no matter what you look like, as long as you're a good challenge, and know how to flirt and stay in control of yourself, girls will love hangin around and talking with you. See, by admitting that you thought she was a '9', you pretty much handed her power and control, you think she's beautiful, and she knows it now....she's not worried about whether or not you like her, b/c she knows you do or you wouldnt have said that. As for you, you're lost because of her pretty cruel answer...and you really don't have any control over the situation. Best thing...move on, find someone else, dont make the same mistake twice.

I dont know about funny...but anyways, no matter your age man, if you're masturbating 10 or so times a day, you're not going to have -anything- come out because there won't -be- anything left. You should read up on reproduction of sperm in the body, I'm pretty sure it takes a few days to really become 'full' or whatever. That's why when guys go for a while without sex or masturbation, you have 'wet dreams' and rid of old sperm for newer...or whatever. Have to read up on it some tho, but that's why you're not having 'anything' because sperm doesnt fully reproduce in your body every hour after you've masturbated.

Yea, I'm wondering too, sorry I don't really know if there's advice I could give. But women, is THIS one of those subtle signs that you give off and guys usually don't catch, or is it something he should just leave alone. An example would be say, you call your girl up and she sick, and she mentions some soup would sound really good....and guys are supposed to pick up on that and bring her some over to her house. Is this one of those things...if you're in a bad mood, is there something we should pick up on and make it better? It's up to you man tho, you've only had 2 dates with her, I'm not sure if I would buy her anything just yet....but maybe there is something you could do. I'm just not full of ideas right now, sorry.

I think kellbell has it right on too, this shows that you are really unsecure about your own life when you can't deal without another in it. I sort of had this same problem, but not with a girl I had been dating a year, only like a month or so. Everything had been fine, I guess the 'fire' just seemed to have died down a little, but the calls that used to come every other day or so, declined to about once or twice a week. Like you, I started over-reacting and almost messed up everything b/c my mind was thinking something was 'going on' behind my back, and in reality, everything was fine. Your best way to get over this, is, even with a woman I think you've been dating a year, is to kinda wean yourself to less contact. Make her miss you a little and want to give you a call. You need to go out and do stuff without her, with the guys, whatever...just something that won't let your mind fall back on her 24/7. You need to have your own life, and she's just a part of it...she is not your life. That's what your g/f is doing...don't you see? She more than likely cares just as much as you, she's just less insecure about everything and knows you are just a part of her life and not everything. So...take a little break, go out with the guys or something, don't call for a few days...anything, get your life back and that will help you to be more understanding with her.

It's just the inexperience I think man. I mean, I was pretty much exactly like you until this past summer. I mean, nothing, no real kiss beyond a peck, and no great dating experience. I had an interest in sex, but it wasn't so much that I was about to pressure any girls I had dated for it. But within this summer, the girl I did end up dating, had more experience, and she knew it. We dated for a little over a month before we did have sex, but I was the one that was making her wait. Sounds weird, cause most girls probably don't expect that, but I was really unsure of whether or not I wanted to do it. I mean, obviously it happened...and I'm much more experienced now. But you want to know the truth, I do not really think sex was that big of a deal. I'm not saying it cannot be a great thing, but I think it really has to be in a true relationship for it to mean something more. Your thoughts may change some, I dont know. I'll tell you one thing tho, I did sort of lose an interest in porn, I'll admit that. My thoughts have changed some tho, I guess it's everyone's own experience that makes them who they are. I think with the next girl I date tho, I'm going to wait longer, I'm not in a rush to get into just a physical relationship. Your time will come, you'll make your own decisions...and you'll deal with your own consequences...it's your choice once you're put in the situation in the end tho. Just thought I'd throw my personal story in b/c I was so recently just like you. Don't worry about it so much tho man, nothing's wrong with not being sex obsessed hehe, cause I'm sure their are other people that ....are thinking about sex just as much as you aren't thinking about it.

Interesting little story....trust me....you'll always remember your first kiss and what led to it. But....in light of the situation, as much as you have told a story, we don't know your feelings. I really think you're the only one who can sort this out and take your own chance. This one good friend of yours obviously likes you, and from what it seems, she has had these feelings for a while, so she'll probably be interested in something more like a relationship....but then again, I don't know, you're going to have to find out what you want. I'm not sure if I can really tell you what to do...its up to you to choose who you want. Just because this girl gave you your first kiss, doesn't mean you have to be hers though, remember that.

It's more or less a 'not interested' that way response...just in masked words. At least she still wants to hang and stuff tho. My advice, keep doing what you're doing, hang with her, but don't sit around and wait for her. Go out with other girls no matter how much this girl may seem to overcome your mind. Hey, she just may end up wanting to call what you two are doing a 'date' if she thinks you are out with other girls and not sitting around waiting for her. Either way, just don't wait...and good luck.

Welcome too, yea, you're not alone. Surprisingly...I've learned a lot this summer alone, and one thing(even tho I'm not like a 'karma' believer) that's shown itself, is "What goes around, comes around." It seems too somehow always work in my case, b/c a girl I dated earlier in this year, did pretty much the same thing your b/f did(even tho I wasn't her b/f, we were just dating). She just kinda cut me off without much explanation, but then...sometime along midsummer, I get a random call from her, and after a little small talk, she dove into it and apologized for what she'd done and wanted to make sure I didn't hate her. Actually just saw her this weekend too for the first time in a while. Anyways...enough of my story, I think in some way or another, this guy will get what's coming too him. Just move on and date other guys, and in more ways than one you'll learn how that's the best way to forget about someone and what they've done to you. Good luck

Yea, one thing I've learned, even tho I'm your age too man, is that girls love to dance. If you can dance...you're in so easily. But I don't mean just grinding like it seems to be at about every party and club you go to these days....you have to know how to dance and give her some space at the same time. Anyways, get that girls number....if she asked you to dance, that's def. not a bad sign, ask her next time you see her. Good luck!

As much as I see the point you're trying to make with her, that's not going to work. I still think it must be kept in perspective of the fact that most people don't really start dating till they've reached puberty at least. So that can't really be used. Age gaps always look bad when they're young, but I still can't help to defend them a little. People don't truly understand them(at least most wont) until they are IN one...or at least the situation has presented itself to you. Trust me, I was the same way, and you're right, 21 does seem a little over the top for someone who's just reached maturity, but I used to give one of my better friends crap all the time because he was a college freshman dating a younger girl in highschool. Then come time this summer...I ran into something I never thought I would have to deal with in life...my own dilemma of falling for a girl that I never should have even gotten involved with because she was 4 yrs younger than I. Anyways...I ended up apologizing to my friend for all the crap I gave him, quite recently actually. Even tho I think it's better to wait for someone to reach true maturity, you still won't understand the situation unless you're in it. It's just one of those things that you never think will happen to you. It's her choice, but I truly think she'll regret it...I'm not out to defend the legality of the situation, just trying to show both sides of the story because everyone assumes cause a guy's older and involved with a younger girl, he's got ulterior motives. I don't really think that example of a 7 yr old a 14 yr old will work tho, like said, I get your point you're tryin to get accross, but you have to be a little more realistic.

Everyone's different...I still don't exactly understand why these questions are asked....just be yourself...and if you're not happy with yourself, then do your best to make yourself happy. Anyways...based on stuff I remember in a class I had last year, guys are actually more attracted to a 'body type' that's generally a little larger than most women think. But if you want my opinion....I'm about 5'10", 150lbs, and I've dated a girl that had about 40lbs on me, one that was about my weight, and one that was about 30lbs less...and none of them were taller than I...so don't stress over it, everyone's different.

Basically...I seem to have a strong belief of "What goes around, comes around..." So, I wouldn't recommend trying it in the first place no matter what's goin on, if the feelings are that strong, wait till the other person has broken up with their s/o. Then after that, by all means...all's fair in love and war.

I guess you could say I'm the same way man. I have plenty of friends on campus, but because I commute, no one really around my hometown until summer returns to hang with every weekend. I go down to campus to hang with friends here and there and I am having a good time, but while everyone else just returns to their dorms or homes, I have to drive home. I mean, I occasionally would stay overnite, but floors aren't so comfortable if I happen to stay at a place with no couch hehe. Yea, also, I am feeling the same way about my classes. I came into college last year feeling really confident about myself and my grades and classes because I did really well my first quarter. Pretty much since then tho, things have only gotten worse. My grades are the worst I have ever seen them in my life and that only makes me less passionate about studying when it seems to be getting me nowhere. Materials in classes that are core to my own major are even getting so hard that I'm questioning whether or not I should be in this field b/c I have many classes to go in that certain lines of courses, and I'm having trouble with class number 3 of about 6...so 3 to go and do well in the future. So yea...know what you're going thru, and as much money as it's costing me, I may end up changing my major if things don't get better. Anyways...yea you're not alone...good luck in school.

Well...I'm sorry about your situation first of all, I can't believe someone of your own family as an adult would make threats to you. I don't think that's a great way to deal with things, but I don't know what else you can really do. You may be 18, and an adult to the world, but as long as you're in your parent's house, there's not much you can do b/c they can easily just kick you out. Makes me feel really appreciative of the fact that my parents weren't that bad and just said when I turned 18.."Don't wake me up when you come home late." I'm sorry tho man, unless anyone else has any good suggestions, I'd say your best bet is to wait until you're moved out and as soon as you can.

I dont know, depends on the friendship....but I guess this saying could go, "You screwed up big, so make up for it big." Do something a little more extra and try and make up for it, you're good friends, no doubt this will pass...but if you want to, go ahead and make sure it's a b-day(even late) that she won't forget.

Actually...no, it's not only if HE tells someone...it's you...or your parents, or anyone else that YOU tell that could get him in verrrrrry deep. You don't seem to understand the fact, that even if you care about him a lot, and ANYONE...I mean ANY ONE!...found out, or caught you and pressed charges, you can totally ruin his life....I mean, please think about that.... Because if you want to know the truth, I have slept with a younger girl at one time, and at first I wouldn't do it when we met, but she kept wearing on me and finally it just happened. The problem is, I can NEVER piss her off or get her mad at me, I mean, think about the weight this girl can hold over my head....no matter the fact that she tells me she would tell no one and that I won't tell anyone...it's still a possibility. Even I face that chance now....but that was a mistake I think and in the end, I don't think it was worth it. You want an answer tho, after which I think you should think about the fact that you can totally ruin this guy's life if anyone found out....you just tell him basically....that's what the girl I was with did. She just came out and pretty much said she wanted to sleep with me.

I think you're just running into the wrong guys....by the looks of it, ones that don't know how to flirt and have a good time. Just keep looking...

I don't really have any advice....just would like to say your situation's not really the worst, b/c in a way I'm kinda feeling exactly like you. I don't know what you want, but may as well say I relate. At least you didn't 'think' the girl you're dating was actually going to become more serious with you the 2nd time around, and then tonite she's off at a dance with someone else and blowing me off...ever heard the saying 'fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me'? Cause I'm not going in a third time....sorry to kinda take over, I need to vent sorta, but I don't really wanna start another post and you seem to have a similar situation in wanting to really see someone and they don't want to see you lately. If anything, and you're like me, I'm out to party tho, that's about the only way to keep my mind preoccupied and off of her, and that doesn't always work the best, but it's about all the advice I can give.