genz44

I kind of feel the same way. Sure, there're the fantasies and porn. However, even though I'm attracted to this friend of mine, I don't have a really big desire to have sex. Maybe because I've never done it before.

Guys like that aren't worth much. The only person they care about is themselves and it doesn't matter who gets stomped on as long as they get their way. I try to have as little contact as possible with these people. Even if I do talk to someone like that, I'm only as friendly as I need to be to not cause any trouble. They simply aren't worth it.

Thanks for the quick replies. I sent her a reply that of course I wasn't insulted. I just wanted to get it out in the open and see what happens. Maybe I'll give it some time and see where I stand a while from now. I won't tell her that I "just want to be friends", but I doubt I'll be doing anything with any other girls for a while. I'm one of those guys who finds it easier to win the $280 million Powerball than find a girl. Hopefully I'll be able get a better idea of what she's thinking when I see her next.

I hear that "doing it yourself" for a while will help you last longer. Anybody confirm this idea?

So, there's this girl I thought was interested in me. There was that eye contact, smiling, and long talks that always seem to be good signs. She asked me if I wanted to see a movie with her and we did. We both had fun that night and agreed to do something together again. Another tidbit of interest is when we were talking when I was driving her home. She said something about not having a boyfriend, but having alot of friends who are guys. Also, she mentioned about a bad experience she had years before when she asked a guy out who she had a crush on. Let's just say he wasn't nice about it. So, we see each other again at school and tells me she had alot of fun. She also apologized about talking about not having a boyfriend. Why? I don't really know. We agreed to go out again, but I didn't get the chance to ask her if we could call it a date. I sent an email later asking about that and this is bulk of her response... So, is this the "I'm not interested" response, or the "Wait a little more" response? Any insight is welcome.

Since she isn't reasonable, don't go into details if you apologize. Just do it and let her make the next move. That way you aren't putting any pressure on her to explain why she was so pissed for a whole week.

Enjoy your teenage years with the family you have now. It's probably best to wait on searching for anyone until you've gotten a bit older. If and when you decide to search around, looks for your sisters first.

Might as well apologize. Especially if you don't think she'll do it first. Maybe try explaining why you were so mad would also help, but I don't know how she would react to that. Is she a reasonable kind of person?

Thanks for the advice, everybody. The past two classes she's been sitting next to my seat even before I get to class. However, an unexpected kink has formed in the situation: parents. Apparently, her parents think I'm her boyfriend and have asked some questions about me. Like she asked me: how old are you/what's your major? She told me her dad picks her up on Wednesdays and I may "get grilled with questions". I'm going to ask her if she wants to be my girlfriend on Wednesday. I'm getting these vibes that she's the type who wants that clarified before we actually do something together outside of school. The answer to my question will, of course, prevent me from making a fool out of myself if I am asked some questions. The question is, how do I handle a protective father? I'll give you a rundown of myself and relevant info: I'm 23 and she's 19. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I've never been in trouble with the police. People at work say I'm a nice, helpful guy. I don't think I should have anything to worry about, but it's not like I've ever been through this before...

I brought this up in another thread relating to shy people in class, but interesting things have happened. I saw this girl the first day of one of my classes and decided to make sure I sat next to her from then on. Third day, I made a joke after class and we traded jokes till we got to the parking lot. Fourth day, we joked a bit before class and had a good conversation for about 25 minutes after class. The next day she didn't really talk all that much so I thought she probably wasn't interested in me or maybe she had a bad day. The sixth class is where it got interesting. It's the first day we've used our books in class. I get mine out and she asks me if she can share my book since she forgot her book. She sits next to me and we pointed out interesting things on the map to each other. I don't think either of us really paid attention that day. After class I swear I heard her ask, "So, are you doing anything after class?". Unfortunately, I had to get some books. She changed the subject to something funny from TV after I told her and that pretty much ended that day. Today we had to use our books again. Before I could notice, she was already sitting next to me. She just ended up writing funny movie lines on a sheet of paper and showing it to me for most of the class. We laughed a good bit and I'd say the eye contact was good too. After a short conversation after class, the day was finished. So am I hallucinating or is she interested in me? I'm one of those guys who sits quietly in the back and something like this actually hasn't happened before. Sorry for the choppy details, but I'm about to head out to work.

It's not weird to be attracted to someone 3+ years younger than you. I'm 23 and I like a girl who's 19. Do you two ever interact in any events? Somewhere you could just say high or tell a joke?

I was the same as you in high school and college until I got a job in retail. When you're basically required to talk to girls of all ages, it helps loosen you up in similar situations at school. I'll give you a very recent example about a class of mine. So it's the first day and I'm late. I sit somewhere in the back and scan the room for any interesting people or old classmates. I see a girl up in the front row who seems outgoing and interesting...and the fact I think she's attractive didn't hurt either. So I decided to move myself up to the front row next time. Second day, I move my butt up to the front row sort of next to her. This was a pretty big step for me since I never been in the front row before and I certainly never changed my seat like that before. A couple classes later, I decided to say something...anything. At the end of class, she made a joke to the teacher about something and I jumped in with my own joke. She laughed a bit and we ended up trading related jokes until we left the building. The next day I arrived early like usual. This happens often and everyone in my class has to wait outside for the previous class to finish. So she shows up and tells me she has a headache. We end up joking about things again and laugh a good bit before class starts. No conversation after class, though. Now with my complete inability to "read" women, watch as I stumble through the rest of the semester trying to steer a conversation towards asking her out sometime. Like the other guy said, just say something and see where it takes you. Good luck.

There are two important things you need to know about shy guys. First, if he is being even more friendly/flirty after something might've shown you to be interested, he's hoping hard as hell that you'll get the point that he likes you and that you need to ask him out. Second, waiting for him to make any first move may lead to absolutely nothing. It all depends on how shy he is, but you'll probably have to make the first move. Try asking him if he's going to the bbq. Hang out at a work related function like that and both of you will probably be much more relaxed about making some sort of move. At least, this is the case with my shy self. The real question here is...what is the easiest way to tell if a girl already has a boyfriend?

Try and wait so you can get over Andrew a little more. Then, see if you're still interested in Ben. That should cut back on any possible desperation.