DropToZero

I'll say I've thought about it, but not to an extent that I'd want to switch. Since you mentioned having sex, I'll definitely have to admit I really wonder what an orgasm is like, since girls seem to define it as something that pretty much seems amazing. I mean, I think sex is great and all, and I have an awesome time doing it, but when I've been with a girl and she's like "that was amazing"...I'm not trying to be mean or anything but, I'm thinking along the lines of..."what was?"

I have two to decide from...because one girl couldn't really kiss all that well, but it was still somewhat interesting how it happened...so I'll tell both...one happened just the other night actually. There was a girl, which whom I had-had sort of a friends w/ benefits type thing going, but...I still feel very strongly for her...I just know it can't really go further. But a long time ago we had stopped speaking, just due to our separate lives and mainly just to keep from the drama...well now summer's begun...so we started talking again for the first time in like 8 months. We'd seen each other a few times, and each time we'd hug in public etc...even get close to kissing, but never did it b/c we still weren't sure what the other was thinking. So...then the other night I got to see her and be with her alone...and we hugged for a few mins...then I swear I slowly...I mean like it's hard to describe, but I made her wait like 7 minutes or so right in front of her face, lightly touching my lips around hers, but never kissing her, just breathing slowly and feeling one another for the first time in so long...and then after all that time my lips touched hers...and it was so much better than I thought it would be...sorry I'm just a really romantic and slow kisser...I like to build a little suspense. Sorry that got long, the other girl though, not as long, but still interesting. We had been flirting all night, it was obvious we liked one another, and we at an apartment(small party). And at one point we were outside alone near a balcony, and I'll tell you the truth I pretty much knew we were going to kiss at some point. But in order to get there...we were talking, and not facing one another perfectly(like we were side to side), so...she mentioned me going out on the OTHER side of the balcony, and straddling it hanging about 20 feet in the air( I could fall lol). And so...I did it...we were facing then, and we kissed for the first time. (too bad tho...it only went downhill with her from there, thought it was cool way to kiss though...me *risking* my life haha)

I, myself cannot be "released" through dry sex...it would have to go further or she'd have to go down on me. But like your b/f, I really look forward to it too when I'm with a girl. Truthfully, before I lost my virginity, this girl and I would mess around a lot like you and your b/f do, and push it really far without actually having sex. She would usually get some sort of release, and I wouldn't...painfully to be honest lol. See...after like a few hours of messing around, guys get blue balls(dont know if you've heard that before or not)...but it's basically when a guy's been hard for a long time without releasing...and it's painful. It sucks, but from my point of view, I didn't really care, I really liked and enjoyed what I was doing with her to a point where I didn't mind getting it at all. I was somewhat frustrated, but not to a point where I was mad about it really, I cared more about her than myself when it came to that...like your b/f probably does. The only thing I could suggest...is just, if you'd like, at your own pace...find a way to become more comfortable with him, and maybe perform oral on him if you really want to have him enjoy it even more.

I'm not sure, like everyone said ...this could be truly gender specific. But in my past year of dating at least, I'm really really good at N/C...I'm stubborn as hell lol...and I won't call or try, if I ever got the urge to(which was pretty rare...I think maybe twice in the time it was going on), I had a good friend to talk me out of it. Anyways, I did finally give in one time, she called me and I picked up...I guess things are okay. I think something I've learned though...is that when people don't have "closure" or an agreement of some sort in a relationship ending...then anything could go. Because you two didn't agree that you didn't want to see one another, or agree that you weren't "for" one another, then...it's really easy to pick up where you pretty much left off. In my case, she's calling me...expecting things to pretty much leave where we left off(with her and I it sort of just came to a quick end, no explanation, nothing, I just stopped talking to her). It wasn't a true relationship...but I don't feel the same way she does...even thought it would be VERY easy to just take it and run with it, I don't want her to just come back and expect everything to be "okay" like I'm going to kiss her or anything further than that if we hang out. I hope that made sense...and I don't want to take over this with my story haha...just uh yeah, I still think it works both ways.

Yeah, I went out with a girl who was the same way. She was...the exact same way, she'd never lean in first, kiss without me kissing her, or...anything. Even after a long time, it was still that way, so...I had to ask what was up...because the girl before I had gone out with, if she wanted to kiss me, she would(plus if a girl is the one making the moves from time to time, it's pretty hot, it's a big turn-on). So I had her over, and asked her why she would never kiss first etc...and she said she didn't really know why, she just wasn't used to it, every guy she had been with before always kissed first. So me thinking that was it, I told her it was okay for her to kiss me whenever she felt like it, it feels better to know you're not the ONLY one that wants to kiss...because I could never tell if she REALLY wanted to kiss me..or was just "going along" with it. So I had her, on my lap, and told her, I wanted her to kiss me...she STILL would not do it, it took me about 15 mins to convince her and finally she leaned in and made the first move...and I'm completely serious. She was really THAT shy about it. I don't know...her and I never really went anywhere, just thought I'd share, some girls are just that shy... (except when they're drunk lol...she did really come on to me one time at a party)...eh emmm It's cool though, after a bit of time, she should become more comfortable with you and she'll do as she pleases...watch, in a few months you'll be posting something like "how do I slow her down?" j/k

I couldn't tell you if that's how you really feel about him or not...that's something you'd have to figure out. Just thought I'd share, one time...in a very intimate moment with a girl I was with(just making out for a long time...but I was somewhat drunk), I caught myself almost saying the same words... I got out like the "I lo- " and stopped myself...I don't think she heard, even though it was right in her ear. I'm pretty sure I don't feel that way about her, but...god like you, I would have wanted to die had I actually said it. I think it was just a thing where I got caught up in the moment.

Haha...great post...since these girls are all I seem to be running into lately... Ummm...since everyone pretty much posted about guys doing it, girls...they are really forward in the fact that sometimes they'll make the first move(not always a sure thing though, because some girls will make the first move and not push it any further), some will just come out and SAY it(only had that once though), and if all she wants to do is sleep with you, more than likely when you're making out, she'll grope you a lot or grind her hips into you. Keep in mind, most of these things, I'm saying happen within the first like 2 dates/hang-out's...after a few dates or so, and actually getting to know one another, then they're a safe bet and I wouldn't mind them. One last thing, another sure tale sign she just wants to sleep with you(guys probably do this too), is she won't make much effort to actually get to know you...she'll just want to get together late at night...no real "dates."

I know exactly what you mean, that's why I give. I just posted in some other post about my position on it. I'm still young, so I give on trying to be in a relationship...every girl I meet I'm met with resistance on that too(even if I'm not the one to bring it up)...every girl just wants to keep it casual or just ...sexual(despite what they say to me). So yeah...I'm done with relationships...I'm going to enjoy my prime while I still have it and stay "single." So to you, my friend, I say since we both seem to have this problem, lets just both agree to stop trying to figure out what girls we meet want, and lets just enjoy our time meeting as many people as we can. Lets get out there and have fun, forget the games, and just enjoy life. Lets take an oath, we're not going to be the ones to mention the word "relationship" again till we're a few years older and 100% sure about the one we're picking....deal? If you're having problems even meeting girls and moving forward...I guess between me and Diggity we could help you out though, just PM one of us, diggity's even got a guide I think you may want to check out.

I think I know what you mean, but I'm coming to huge crossroads, not sure at my young age if I really want a relationship, or just keep everything "no strings." I'm finally beginning to lean more towards the latter, but...I don't know, I guess I'm open to anything. The only thing I could tell you about "no strings" sex, well even though I've never done it, it wouldn't be the same as a relationship. I could sleep with a girl with no strings, but it wouldn't be "as good" as it would be if I were in a relationship. I've always been told I'm a really good kisser etc...but I don't think I could kiss a girl I'd just met the same way as I'd kiss a girl I'd been with for a while. I don't know though, I've never done it as I said, but I don't think I, myself, would be "into" it as much as I would be than if it were in a relationship.

Seriously man...just leave it all alone, you're trying to date the girl in the middle, and she's playing games, may be easier said than done, but you're just going to cause yourself a lot of drama, so get out now and leave her be.

Yeah, In my case...nothing ever changed, despite what she said and says, it's only the "actions" that matter, and in her actions, she'd rather hang with her friends than take the time to get to know me beyond just hanging out at parties and making out from time to time(despite what she says again). I just have my own personal problem, because when I go party with my friends, I don't get drunk often, but when I do and she's there...I'm really easy hah. I can go to this party saying to myself I won't touch her and I'm not going to give in, and I end up doing it anyways sometime later in the night ugh. And because she's just a part of my group of friends, it's not like I can just stop hangin out with her, because, then I wouldn't see my other friends...and I don't want that. I've just got to be determined to not give in, and at the same time not let any of this ruin my friendships. To be truly honest, In the beginning I did sort-of want a relationship w/ her, because I thought she was that type, but as time went on...I'd never want one with her now, it would just be hell. The thing that just bothers me is that after like...a year, I don't think she even knows the first thing about me, the only things she knows are what she's asked my friends, and they may all know me, but they don't know me inside and out that well. I think ...that's just sad, but I give. I really wish I could just bring a girl that I could be dating to one of the parties where she was to sort-of teach her a lesson for pulling all this crap on me, but...I realized that's not my job to teach that to her...it's just not how I am. She'll learn in time...and I'm just trying to keep meeting others. Whoa, kinda went on a ramble there...oh well, maybe if you read my story, you'll get a little out of it, because I put up with mine for too long, if your girl doesn't show effort to try and change(meaning wants to hang out ALONE from time to time away from friends) soon, just take it from me...she probably won't.

The best way is just practice...or not so much that, that makes it sound like a game, how about ...repetition is a better word. The more you work on something, like approaching girls at parties, in lines, etc...the easier it will become, and the better you will become at it. It's confidence, you have to have that in yourself first man, then everything else will just sort-of follow. I got a job where I kind of have to work with different and new people every day, so I don't really have a problem approaching anyone now. And you say you want a sense of humor, and you're not thinking of things to talk about, you've got to really open up, because you're thinking TOO much about the whole situation. That's why you get stuck on boring topics that no one is really interested in, you need to stop caring what others think, and define yourself, talk about yourself, and listen for keywords in someone else's speech to ask them about(like nouns, or things they do). It will help create conversation to listen for words like that and build off of them. "Yes" and "No" answer questions are bad...they leave gaps, go more for 'who, what, where, when, and why.' And all-in-all, when you stop caring, you'll learn to have more fun and be playful, a lot of girls, the best way I get in when flirting with them, is to roleplay. Make up something, and if she's into you, she'll go along with it and flirt back. When I say that, I mean like...as example, ask her if she has a job, and if she says "yes" or "no"(yea I know), ask what it is and play it off like she's going to support you in the future and pay for the times you hang out. If she says no, tell her she'd better get one hehe...the idea is just to make it all come out as a joke...she'll catch on. Have fun and good luck!

First of all...the fact that he'd rather hang with a guy than you, is not something you should be offended by, YOU need to learn to respect that because he's not going to blow his plans with his friend because you all of a sudden want to go out. Personally, that's something I think you should be glad of, would you want him to blow plans to hang out with you last minute if he had made plans this weekend?...didn't think so. As for the fact that he hasn't asked you out, he may not be interested, or busy...if you really want to hang out, go ahead and ask him to do something, nothing is stopping you. My first real date was with a girl who had asked me to come over and watch movies with her...so eh...go ahead and ask. You should have said when he mentioned being free monday, "well I'm not doing anything on monday, what's your cell number?"...done.

I know what you mean... Um...as a guy, I've been told by a few girls(without even asking), that I am a really good kisser(despite the fact that I'm not THAT experienced...it's just not something I tell everyone). I had one girl though who I was/am(big mess) dating, and at first she was horrible at kissing. I mean, to a point where I hated just even intiating a kiss cause it felt like a ...fight almost. As I'd heard too, you never want to tell a girl she's a bad kisser or something, because for some reason girls take it very personally and hard. The problem she had was that she was too forceful, it didn't seem like a natural kiss, almost like she was fighting or something for control. What I did, was just keep kissing the way I always had, never tried to change or fight her back, and slowly she actually seemed to catch on and she got much better. I wouldn't say she's the best, but after a little time and work, she's much more natural at it, and I'd feel much better telling her she was a good kisser now, than back then.

Haha, I have an exact example from last night. I consider myself, about like you, I can do well with meeting girls and new people etc, but there is still something you feel like you lack. It's completely all in the way you present yourself, like you said, we have confidence, and a great sense of humor, that's what most women will fall for ASAP...not all, dont take it literally and flame me haha. But again, I still feel like I'm just not that kind of guy. As for my example... Last night I was out for a friend's birthday party, and we were all dressed up in 80's costumes/wear etc... It was a good time, but there was one guy in our group, he was not really strong, not the best looking guy around, just tall and kinda lanky, but he had great confidence haha. He was wearing this wig that was HUGE, like it was poofy hair that kinda looked like Jesse's from the show Full House ...except much higher and crazier. He went over to not one, two groups of girls in bachelorette parties, and hit it off with ALL of them. He even kinda-sorta hit on the bride-to-be for the fun of it(no real intentions). I asked him later about how he was doing so well, and who he was probably gonna hook up with. He said he wasn't going to hook up with any one of them, but I asked him how he did that looking that crazy. He just said "Cause there's no way in hell any girl would think a guy with this sort of outfit could truly be hitting on them, and really what they notice is that they can laugh and have a good time with me." And basically that was true, he ended up getting pictures with like all of them at the place we were out at. He didnt explain much more, because we all left, but that's what it is...just pure confidence and humor, even one of my good friend's who'd known him for years said he's always been like that. I mean, I think I get understand what you're getting at though, this guy just has that *magic* personality that all these women loved to be around. I can entertain maybe one or two girls at once if I feel confident enough, but he walked into a group of like 10 and they accepted him like they'd known him forever haha. I dont know, just an example...

I dont know if it has to do with anger or cutting, but yeah I've had those random types of urges, and I'm not a violent person at all...it takes a lot to piss me off. But...I won't lie when I say I've been somewhere walking down a street on campus or mall at work and felt like just randomly clocking the next person I pass...just feel like it would make me feel better...lol...and no I'd never act on it. I've even had the opposite urge, and want to kiss a random girl I may have just met or something...whether I was really attracted to her or not...eh...no I'd never act on something that random either...but the thoughts do quickly enter and leave my mind from time to time.

Easiest way put...because I've tried all 3... 1) Nothing in common : you both will never hang out, never want to do anything together because you hate one another's interests or don't like one another enough to put him/her before you and do what they want to do and at least TRY it to see if you may like it. 2) Middle ground, have same and different interests: 3) Everything in common: it's okay at first, but in the end, I dont think it's the best. You end up spending too much time together possibly...and since you have such similar interests, arguments and problems arise due to the smallest things in those similarities. Also, if you decide to go do one of these similar interests with your friend and don't invite he/she to go along, they'll feel left out. ...maybe not the best explanation, and I'm sure there are others to attest otherwise to this, but I guess you could say I've tried it all ways...and the middle ground relationship seemed to be the best. Good luck! and yes it seems he likes you...so go...

Oh I see what you're talking about in that sense. See easyguy, it's like...let's say you're having trouble asking a girl for her number, because you have lower confidence, and you've taken time to build up that confidence to ask. After you finally get it up, you ask like this "Could I have your number?" or "May I please have your cell number?" etc, you get the idea...it's asking though. All those ways will show doubt in your words, no matter how you say it. In the past I used to ask that way, now when I meet a girl I like, I just say "What's your cell number?" or "Give me your number", and girls have even asked me that way. It just displays the confidence, and most girls aren't going to say no...if they do, maybe be like "oh com'n, I'm only gonna call you like every 20 mins daily", if they say no after that...just leave it alone and walk away.

It's just a low self-confidence thing, I've had that with a girl I've on-and-off dated. It doesn't drive me crazy, but it helps to know someone's really telling the truth and cares when they can look you in the eyes and speak. I've literally had to put my hand on her chin, pull, and kind of ask her to look me in the eyes, she was drunk one time and said she didn't feel like she was good enough for me. So...there-in lies the problem, but yeah...it's just depends on how shy and confident someone is to see if they can hold your glance. Personally, though, if I've ever had a girl I couldn't look in the eyes, it's because I'm lookin at her body...and I'm not really trying to...my eyes just wander ...can't help it.

Try doing the same thing...but for ...oh about 7 months, except I'm the guy and she's the one deathly afraid of being in a serious relationship. Take it from me...keep seeing other people, because until the time comes, you don't want to be the one waiting on him because he may never come around. Personally, I think since he doesn't want a relationship(unless he's stated why and you believe him), it's because he likes you etc, but he still thinks there could be "someone better" possibly. That's why you shouldn't sit and wait...it may never become a true relationship, and that's what I've accepted with what situation I'm in right now. Good luck

Yeah man, don't worry about it, I can get it easily from just a really passionate kiss, and because that's normally how I kiss, I can get it anytime-anywhere haha. I've never had a girl complain either too, I'm pretty sure most would be glad they turn you on.

Hey guess what, not sure if you really care haha, but I landed the job I wanted, RIGHT where I wanted to be. Not a waiter, but it's a job where I'll be around plenty of new people my age each and every day. God I'm excited to just start...

As for the first question, yes I've hidden from my friends that I've dated someone. Why...because she was younger than me by a little too much, but I kinda fell for her anyways. I just hid it because, not everyone needed to know, and in the fact that it was hidden and forbidden, it made it a little more exciting. There's no clear-cut answer for what the definition of date is, I think...you just "know" when what's going on is a little more than a couple of friends hanging out. He shouldn't feel obligated I guess, but it wouldn't hurt for him to call and ask you out. I think you could sort of feel it out, call him up, mention having a good time etc...then bring up maybe doing it again sometime...I'm sure that would do it. Good luck!

Yes, very good post, makes you want to sit back and think...and sorry haha, I think I know what you mean by this phrase, it really made me laugh aloud.