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Double J

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  1. Double J

    Bad boy??

    Double J replied to thunda's topic in Dating Advice

    Maybe she thinks that becomes you give off an air of c0ckyness, confidence, etc? If you really don't, maybe she's getting that vibe like the other poster said. A lot of girls love the bad boys - the ones they can't control.
  2. Double J
    Voice tone isn't really a telling sign. Human beings alternate with tone of voices all the time. Maybe around you she sees you as being more tranquil and laid-back, so she adjusts her voice accordingly, while your friend might be more outgoing himself, so she feels more leeway to act the same way. If you really like her, why don't you ask her out?
  3. Double J
    Dumping you - not once, but twice - shows that she definitely questions how she feels about you, and that's never a good sign. It's usually indicative of low interest level. She might be going through a period where she doesn't know what she wants (again), or she just doesn't want to settle down yet date different people. The truth is that a person that deeply cares for another would not so much think of ever acting this way and risk losing what the person has. Perhaps she sees what a great guy you are and feels you're definitely worth being with in a long-term relationship, but maybe that isn't exactly what she wants right now. Good Luck to you.
  4. Double J
    Yup, sounds all too familiar. I had a girlfriend that was like that. This girl you talk about sounds immature and may be commitmentphobic. She doesn't know what she wants, and only knows what she wants when she doesn't have it. Girls like these are usually teases that lead a guy on to savor the attention they're getting, but when a guy gets too heavily emotional, they get scared away. They only seem to like the chase. Honestly, you might be digging her, but I wouldn't waste time with a girl like this.
  5. Double J
    No way. If a girl I liked a lot showed interest in me, I'd be dumb to turn her down. Maybe he hasn't received your text messages.
  6. Double J
    It's possible to meet that right person at a time and place you might never expect, e.g. at a new job, in another country, etc. So you should just go about your business and not place any limitations on yourself and the places to meet potential partners.
  7. Double J
    I think you're reading into this too much. You need more clear-cut signs. I don't think a person looking at your lips when you talk means anything - it's more like a natural reaction. You need something more concrete, like her touching you a lot, trying to be around you as much as she can, etc. That's what you need.
  8. Double J
    I think you're reading into this too much. The stuff I bolded above from your text are the bits of info you've given that lead me to believe that she just considers you a friend. A major red flag is the fact that she talks to you about a guy she likes. She also calls you whenever she has a problem or is feeling sad? I hate to say it bud, but a girl that likes a guy won't call him to be a shoulder to lean on. In fact, she'll try to refrain from getting into those subjects until the long term relationship has been established. Right now it seems like she just considers you a friend, and you're confusing her friendly behavior with something more. It's not impossible for this friendship to turn into more, but based on what you've told us, her behavior is characteristic of how a girl would treat her male friend.
  9. Double J
    She very well might like you. That's probably the case, unless she's an attention hound or has ulterior motives. Wait to see when she calls, and when she does, ask her out (If you like her).
  10. Double J
    If you see her at the bowling alley again, tell her you've seen her there before and you were wondering if she'd like to play a game with you.
  11. Double J

    Girl I like

    Double J replied to Derge's topic in Dating Advice

    Well, find out if she has a boyfriend first. That's the first step. And if she does, why bother? Good for you in losing weight and gaining confidence. But remember - if you do things like lose weight and work out, you should do it for yourself to look good and feel good about yourself - not for a girl, because she might be gone before you know it. IF she doesn't have a boyfriend, ask her out and take it from there.
  12. Double J
    I know of some people who are in their late 30's and early 40's who have never really been in a serious relationship. But one has to question whether these people are actually making an effort to put themselves out there where they can meet others. My belief is that if you just wait at home for someone to come knocking at your door, you're in for a major disappointment. I believe you could meet several people you could be compatible with, so long as you become involved in activities and other things to increase your chances. You have to make the effort to help yourself. As Jefferson once said, "The harder I try, the more luck I seem to have."
  13. Double J
    Three years? Dude, why have you waited so long? When you meet a girl you like, you should go for it right away before you permanently fall into the friend zone, unless you started to like her within the last year or so. But since it's too late for that, I think you should go for her before you explode. However, as good as it is to be optimistic (which you should be), also be prepared in case she gives you the "but we're good as friends" speech. Hopefully that won't happen, but you have to be mindful of other scenarios that aren't just the best-case scenario.
  14. Double J
    Shinobie, I posted in response to another thread you started a while back. It really bothers me to see you feeling so down all the time. Lighten up a little. Stop making girls your world. Distract yourself in other things. You seem to depend too much on girls to make you happy with yourself, and if you continue on this path, you're going to be disappointed for a very long time. I understand that you come here to vent, and we're always open to give you advice. But we're not the ones that are going to change you - only you can do that. Quit worrying about jerks getting girls. You don't want to become a jerk - because it's obvious that's not you at all. You have to work on your confidence.
  15. Double J
    I hate to say it, but it sounds like she's using you as an emotional counselor. She seems to really want that other guy. Your story sounds like the typical "Girl goes for jerk and uses the nice caring guy as a shoulder to cry on" case. Even though she told your friend that stuff you said at the very end, don't pay attention to her words as much as her actions. Actions speak volumes, words are only mere whispers. She might care about you, but her behavior seems so flaky. If I was you, I'd be very careful not to get too emotionally sucked into this relationship. She feels the need to mention a guy that likes her? Why could that be? She could be trying to make you jealous, but she's well aware you care so deeply about her so what would be the need? You both are young - she might be going through a stage in her life where she really doesn't know what she wants, so emotionally pressuring her might not be the best idea.
  16. Double J
    I too have had dreams of girls I've liked or been attracted to. It's normal.
  17. Double J
    Go for it. You have nothing to lose. Even if she doesn't feel the same, at least you tried. But be positive and think that she will feel the same way.
  18. Double J
    You haven't given us enough information to go by. Just because she briefly looks at you doesn't mean anything. You have to watch for more signs like touching, playing with her hair when she talks to you, etc.
  19. Double J
    Dude, don't waste your time. Just move on. Revenge isn't going to take the pain away. If anything, let her know you're seeing someone else (even if it isn't true) so that she knows you could care less about her.
  20. Double J
    Most girls that are very very good looking are just full of themselves, whereas those self-conscious of not being pretty are the most wonderful people you'll ever meet. I'd honestly settle for a girl who isn't as attractive, but whose personality stands out and matches mine. Life isn't fair sometimes for people out there - Very good looks do help you land jobs, dates, and other things much easier. But as long as you're confident and happy with your life, and as long as you treat people with respect, people could find you more attractive than a "cute" person who's obnoxious and self-absorbed.
  21. Double J
    Hey Ty, I do think human beings are naturally competitive. I've especially seen a competitive nature among girls going for the same guy. Girls do like to compete a lot with each other - over who has the nicest clothes, makeup, fashion, guys, etc. Us guys usually aren't like that. We human beings always seem to want what we can't have, and many times when people see you happy in a relationship with someone, they start to think that there must be something good about you that other people have a liking for. In high school, when I hooked up with my ex, there was this other girl that had been interested before, but now she went crazy and wanted to win me over more than ever. Why? Because she knew another girl was interested and she wanted to come out the victor. On the other hand, if someone is always single/alone, people start to think that there's something about the person that people do not like.
  22. Double J
    So far so good. Ask her out as soon as you can so that she knows you see that way and not only as a friend.
  23. Double J
    Experience has shown me this. Isn't it funny how looking too hard for love can actually have the opposite effect of what you're hoping for, yet when you're not worried about that and focus on other things, it seems to come to you? I think the forces of fate and free will are at play here. Fate brings people into your life, but is up to you and your capacity to use free will to ask out the girl if you're a guy, or if you're a girl, to give the guy hints to show interest. Life seems to be characterized by a "natural flow of things and events" that we sometimes don't seem to have any control over. It's almost as if life sometimes wants to do the finding for you, but that doesn't exactly mean that you're going to last forever with the person. A person could enter your life, but eventually it doesn't work out, and it serves to help you decide what you really want from a relationship and what you're weaknesses are as a partner. Just want to read what you guys think of this.. has there any been a time that you've looked hard and to no avail, but when you stop worrying about it, you received an unexpected surprise?
  24. Double J
    You'd be surprised at how many relationships are initiated without an exchange of "feeling declarations." Just show her that you like her by openly flirting with her, touch her, tease her, and just have fun with her. If she feels the same, she'll respond to you and you're in.
  25. Double J
    lady00 is right. The more you think about wanting a girlfriend - the more it conquers your mind - the more depressed you'll get. Work on yourself to become the best person you can be, and the girl will come when you're not looking. Life is strange that way.
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