Jump to content

Double J

Banned Users
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    731

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Double J

  1. Double J
    Yep, attraction is more like a response. You cannot apply any rules because there are no rules - a girl doesn't choose to be attracted to you, it just happens. When we're dealing with guys, if a girl is physically attractive to him, that's a major first step because guys are more visual. Girls care about looks too, but if the personality doesn't appeal, good looks aren't sufficient.
  2. Double J
    If what car I drive was a factor for a particular girl in determining whether she wanted me or not, then I probably wouldn't want her.
  3. Double J
    It's very hard to be content with a friendship if one of the parties is very physically attracted to the other or starts to develop emotional feelings. If I am very physically attracted to someone, from the getgo I will try pursue her as a partner and not as a friend. It's very possible for feelings to come out of a friendship, and it could turn into more, but usually it doesn't, because a transition like that would seem weird. And usually girls don't like making that transition because if someone gets hurt, they don't want to be held responsible for it.
  4. Double J
    If two people are officially dating, then the games should stop. If I'm with a girl who continues to act this way, I will probably drop her sooner or later when I get bored of it. I think playing hard to get with your partner is stupid - it shows immaturity.
  5. Double J
    A girl should not know what you want until she has declared what she wants. Once this girl tells you directly (not your friends) that she likes you, then you can be more open as to where you want this to go with her. I don't like it when girls suggest hanging out in a group, or with another friend. I'm not saying she's not interested, but why would someone who likes someone else want a third party to be involved? She keeps incorporating her friends into this for some reason. Find out why.
  6. Double J
    happee, I admire that you're willing to take the initiative. The world needs more bold girls like you! Trust me - A guy would definitely be flattered and it would "up" his self-esteem big time.
  7. Double J
    Your instinct is usually right about things. And when a guy hesitates to approach a girl, he should keep himself from thinking so much about it and just do it. As humans we tend to always think the worst that could happen. Why not think that something positive will come out of it? Something else - if your gut tells you that a girl is probably not interested in you, or that a girl you might be dealing with is superficial, you're probably right.
  8. Double J
    Good for you. Only one more thing - shorten the conversation time over the phone. 2 hours?? Man, stick to just using the phone (15 mins max) for setting up the next date. You don't want to say too much over the phone, save more for in person.
  9. Double J
    I agree with Beec. Show it through your actions. I'm sure that as you get to know her better, you'll know what kind of guy she wants.
  10. Double J
    Back when I was in high school, there was a girl that acted like that. Her and I were sorta talking, and I was attracted to her, but she seemed superficial and like a tease. She'd bump me, touch me, sit next to me, etc, and when I hooked up with my ex at that time, she went insane and wanted to do anything to steal me from her (She had just broken up with her b/f as well). This girl seems to be out for attention - and she may have picked you as her bait. Are you sure she genuinely likes you? The more attractive a girl is, the more she can get away with things and lie. You have to make sure she's for real, and if she's just playing games, you could find someone better.
  11. Double J
    Exactly. That's like someone handing you a trophy when you've done nothing to earn it. It has no value. We always perceive something to have more value when we have to work harder to get it. It's a challenge. Resisting from verbally telling a girl you like her has many advantages. For one, if she never comes around to offer more than a friendship, at least you're conscious of the fact that you didn't directly tell her, so your self-esteem is more in check. Also, a guy should ALWAYS wait for the girl to say "I like you," and then proceed to tell her he feels the same. If you tell the girl and she can't reciprocate what you feel, it makes her feel awkward and it could even tarnish your friendship.
  12. Double J
    She's right on the money. Giving way too much too soon kills the mystery and challenge that girls love in the dating game. So many guys think that they can attract women by being nice and buying them gifts and dinners. It doesn't work that way- it has more of an adverse effect. It's like buying their affection. If a girl likes YOU she should care less about the things you buy her. I'm not saying you should never buy her anything, but if a girl isn't deserving of being showered with these things (because she's self-conscious herself that she hasn't done anything to deserve that treatment), then don't do it.
  13. Double J
    You're becoming too predictable. You're calling and e-mailing way too much. Why did you e-mail her to tell her that you're attracted to her? If she is a very attractive girl, she's probably used to hearing this all the time; thereforeeee, you don't stand out from the crowd. Make yourself less available - don't become a doormat. Yeah, most likely she's been busy too.
  14. Double J
    I agree with Day_Walker. If you're too eager to find out, get her to tell you by something indirect that you say, such as "I bet your boyfriend tells you the same thing" or something like that when you're on a particular subject.
  15. Double J

    Soo happy

    Double J replied to jimmyjoe's topic in Dating Advice

    It's been a year, and one lunch meeting is all you've gotten? It seems like your interest level in her is much higher than hers is for you, at least at the moment. We have no idea what she feels for you, but if she thinks of you as a good friend, you're going to have to work very hard to get her to see you as a partner. If you start getting a little "touchier" with her and turn the flirtatiousness up a few notches, see how she reacts. If she resists, forget about it and keep it as friends because she's not interested.
  16. Double J
    Just move on Studmaster. In the long run, it is very hard for ex's to be friends with each other - there's always those past memories that come back. And it seems like this girl is just playing games with you to get attention. She's even seeing someone else this quick, so you deserve to find someone yourself. Let it be.
  17. Double J
    Pete, Whatever you do - do not display this desperation in front of her. That is totally going to kill your chances. Try to act as calm and collected as possible. Think of her as any other human being. How long have you been friends with her? If you've been friends for a long time, and you've been routinely hanging out on the weekends, then it's going to be hard to get out of the friendzone, but if you're willing to try, good luck. Try and show her that you're interested with subtle touching and what not, but please, do not give her an "I like you" speech. That stuff doesn't work.
  18. Double J
    I wish it wasn't ALWAYS this way either. It'd be so much easier for us if women decided to take the initiative. A girl will rarely make the move herself. But if you think about it, human nature is funny. We might hate risking rejection, but imagine if you took the initiative to approach a girl, asked her out, etc and eventually she did fall in love with you. Wouldn't you feel proud of yourself in a sense? I know that getting the nerve to approach a girl isn't easy, but it should be seen as a challenge that can only help you in the long run. If she accepts, you're in. If she doesn't, think of it as her loss, and it can only boost your confidence that you were able to approach an attractive woman and give it a try.
  19. Double J
    First off man, take it easy. The line that's bolded says it all - you lack self-confidence. You're going to have to believe in yourself more before you seriously consider making a move. Also, the more you think about her the more you'll feel like bursting. Try to distract yourself in school or some hobby or something. Let her see that you have an active life that doesn't revolve around her or any girl. Don't depend on a girl to be happy. When you feel comfortable, make a move, and if she rejects you, just move on. Try to establish rapport with her for the time being before considering a "relationship."
  20. Double J
    Francis, That's understandable. You're in your early 30's - a time in your life when you probably want to (or have) settled down with someone - most likely a nice and established man. But when girls are in their early teens to early 20's, they really don't know what they want, and it seems like once a guy has declared his feelings, the girl usually feels like has nothing to work for. It's not a challenge. Many girls at this age don't want to settle down yet, so the thrill of the chase and those little games appeal to them (not all, but many). It's very difficult to find a girl this age that is open to a long term relationship and would very gladly accept a guy with open arms who professes what he feels for her.
  21. Double J
    You're getting ahead of yourself. Take it easy man. Don't let your emotions cloud your judgment. Maybe she's been hurt in the past and wants to be cautious - nothing wrong with that. Don't coerce her into making a decision too quickly - she might run away before you know it.
  22. Double J
    she's just being courteous with a simple gesture. I called my ex when it was her birthday because it always meant a lot to her for any person to do that. You should reply with a thank you.
  23. Double J
    Excellent post Hazlcha. Claude, I think you should move on. It's never a good sign when you end up being a shoulder to cry on. That usually spells "friend." Yes, she may like you as a person and enjoys spending time with you, but that doesn't say anything about any potential romantic feelings. If you think about it, you love all of your friends as people and enjoy spending time with them. If you want to pursue this further, take Hazlcha's advice. Do not tell her you like her, but try to spark that by spending time with her. If she's already put you in "friend land," it's probably too late.
  24. Double J
    Try to go outdoors if you can. Run in the park, catch a movie, read a book at the library. Staying home on the computer isn't going to help much.
  25. Double J
    I've been reading through the posts lately, and I've seen a lot of you guys saying that you've told a girl you like her, and now you're waiting for a sign. You want to ask her out, but you're scared of rejection, or possibly don't want to ruin your friendship with her. Why in the world should a girl have to know that you like her? Girls love mystery. They love to ponder whether or not a guy likes them. It's much more effective to convey that you like a girl through subtle touching, eye contact, and other signs than by giving an "I like you" speech. Showing confidence and going for what you want is what attracts girls, not trying to flatter her by expressing your feelings. I know this might not sound plausible, but it's the truth guys. I know this through experience. Now, once you know that the girl is interested and you do get together in a relationship, that's precisely when you should open up more and become more emotional.
×
×
  • Create New...