surething

My girlfriends birthday is this week. We've been together for almost 10 months. At first i thought i'd just get her something nice but not a huge gift because she didn't get me something big for my birthday. So i asked her sister for advice. She said my girlfriend has mentioned wanting a ring from me for her birthday. I'm guessing this would be a promise ring, but i'm not sure. I wasn't ready to give her one but then i realized i am. We're in love and we want to get marrried in the future. But i don't know if her birthday would be a good occasion to give her a ring. Would it? Our anniversary is in about 2 months, and that would be a great occasion. But part of me doesn't know if i should wait, and i also know she might want it for her birthday. So i don't know what to do. Also, we've been fighting pretty often lately and thats making me re-think it at the moment. Anyway, what do you think? Thanks.

I know she wouldn't like it if i "freaked" out. But the bottom line is, she knows i have the right to. And she DOES do the same thing. My gf herself complains about me and our female friend, even though there is nothing at all going on there, no flirting or anything. The issue is that my gf lied - she told me she would let me know if anything happens with this guy. She didn't. I keep hearing about it from our friend and thats wrong. Where is the honesty in the relationship? Yeah its one small thing that happened, but i feel really strongly about this one thing and she knows that. I understand not telling me so i wouldn't get upset. BUT i think this is something important that needs to be shared so that something can be done to stop this guy from further damaging our relationship. These guy friends may be "friends." But in my eyes, the fact that they have other intentions totally changes that. This guy is mainly being her friend to get close to her, in hopes that someday she'll turn around and be with him, which is ridiculous. She may think its all friendly, while he has other stuff going on in his mind. I don't know how someone could still be okay with that kind of friendship. I'll admit that she has changed and has actually been blowing him off for me, but still, hiding stuff isn't right and i have to talk to her about it. We've discussed this whole situation months ago but she didn't hold her part up fully. I feel like a huge idiot for not coming along with them. He has to know that i'm there and here to stay. I can't let anything else happen. Its happened too many times already and i haven't done enough to set it straight. I won't freak out or anything, but i'll talk to her and maybe this guy too.

Thanks for all the replies. You all made great points that make sense. I forgot to add some things. She and i are very very happy. We had some bad times but lately everything has been amazing. We're really in love and plan on being married in the future. I am not at all worried about her having feelings for him. I know thats not a problem. Part of what bothers me most is the fact that this guy has the nerve to do stuff like that. I can't stand it. I know she doesn't have feelings, everyone else says so too. She DOES tell me when she's seeing him and whatnot. We had a big talk about this and she agreed to tell me all of that. So i mean i trust her with that. That isn't the issue. Its the other things, like what this guy does. I'm guessing she knows i wouldn't like it but still, i have the right to know and she promised to tell me everything. She feels so strongly about being open and talking to each other about everything, yet she can pick and choose what she tells me. I've gotten better - i used to freak out and she knows. But after we discussed it, i got way better and i really didn't care when they hung out. She won't even hang out with him alone out of respect for me, which is a great thing. I just wish she would tell me these things. From now on i'll ask her if i can come along if they hang out. She said she would but hasn't yet. Thanks again for all of the replies. I wasn't expecting that much help.

I've been with my gf for 8 months. From early on, we've had problems because of this guy friend she's had for years. I'm fine with her having a male friend, but this guy was and still could be after her. He used to pursue her all the time. She had a boyfriend then, and now she is with me. So its really wrong and i hate guys who do that. He's done a lot of things that cross the line, like going to her window at night, and flirting and touching her and on and on. Since she's been with me, he hasn't done that much and it seems he's backed off, but i still don't like it. Those things anger me beyond belief! I hate this guy and everyone else does too. After my gf and i had a huge argument/talk about it, it was kind of settled and she seems to be more into our relationship than her friendship with him, which is awesome. She also won't hang out with him alone anymore. She insists that he does not like her anymore, and that he's into all these other girls now. I made her promise to tell me about anything that happens, like if this guy tries something. She promised to tell me out of respect for my feelings. For a while i felt better, but now i don't know. I'm posting because a few weeks ago she was hanging out with this guy. She brought a friend of ours along. After that night, i asked my gf what they did and so on. She was short with me and said it was fine. I flat out asked her if this guy did anything, and she said "no." I even asked a week later and i got the same answer. I mean i know things are better, but i don't believe the night ended without any incidents at all. This was a week ago. Last night, i was hanging out with our friend who tagged along that night. She told me some things about that night that really hurt me! She said he picked the movie "Can't Hardly Wait", where apparently the character in the movie is in love with a friend and can't have her. Her friend then said "I'm in a similar situation as that guy", meaning he wants my gf. My friend stood up for me which was cool. Anyway, he also apparetnly drove by a park, and my friend thinks he might have taken my girlfriend there if she didn't tag along. The worst part of this all is that my gf told our friend not to tell me, because i would get the wrong idea. She promised to tell me everything. She told me nothing happened and that this guy is not interested in her anymore. We had a whole talk about being open and honest, and she's lying. I can't believe it. She's been going along hiding this from me and i can't stand it. In the past she has also hidden other things about this guy which my friend told me about also. I know her intentions are somewhat good - she doesn't want me to get upset or mad or anything. But still, it is wrong to hide big stuff like that. She is in denial and i can easily see it in her face whenever i asked her about it in the past. Please help. My gf is on vacation for about another week. So i have to live with this weighing on my mind until then! She doesn't know that i know. I want to talk about it on the phone but i don't want to ruin anything. So i'd have to wait days after she gets back and i don't know if i can do that. I seriously want to deal with this guy myself. I'm okay with waiting to talk to her. I'm getting better with it but its still hard and i don't know how i can trust her. She is also dishonest when it comes to other guys hitting on her, which is another thing that bothers me. She doesn't really lie but she hides things from me and it hurts a lot. I can never trust her to tell me anything now. I can't. She hides everything that she thinks i might not like hearing. What do i do? Thank you for reading.

Thanks but those aren't problems for us. She LOVES it. She is always very turned on. There are no problems there. It just hurts a bit when i take it out. We've been doing clitoral stuff for months and moved on to fingering. I am her first for fingering. I ALWAYS make sure to get her really wet before i even think about inserting my finger.

Its been a few weeks and i wanted to update the situation because i have more questions. It turns out that she had her period. We were relieved. So we didn't do it for a week or so. A few days ago i fingered her. The next day she started bleeding again. I think it lasted 1 or 2 days, then it stopped for a day. NOW today she said she started bleeding again. It cant be her period so i'm worried that i hurt her. My fingernails weren't long at all, but they weren't just cut because i didn't know i was going to see her. I've read about bleeding on here but i think this is lasting too long. What do you think? Okay, fingering only hurts her when i pull my finger out. Why? Even if i go really really really slow, it will still hurt her somehow. It isn't me, she even said so. Because she can't use tampons. I think it hurts her around the area of her pelvic bone (i think thats the one). Despite all of this she still wants to do it and she says she's getting more and more comfortable with it.

I have recently started fingering my gf. This is a huge deal for her because she has never let anyone do it before. She's 18. It always hurt her and the thought of it scared her. But a few days ago i tried it and let one finger in, and it didn't hurt her. Yesterday we tried it again and sometimes it hurt her, but for the most part she actually liked it, and she said it could give her an orgasm if i kept going. (which is another huge deal) This is my first time fingering too. But i've done a lot of research on the internet about it. I was curious about what hurts her. It wasn't deep and i wasn't rough at all, i think it was around her pelvic bone. Is that normal? When i was in her, i felt something as i went in deeper, i think it was her g-spot but i'm not sure. Is it? It was kind of firm and small. I rubbed it and she loved it, and that is what would've given her an orgasm. So that made me really happy. How deep should i generally go? Later on that night she said she started bleeding. Today she said her stomach hurts. I know there are a lot of posts about that and i know its normal. But I'm just worried that i did something wrong, since it was our first time and i don't want to hurt her. I don't want to be touching something that i'm not supposed to be touching. Is there anything i should stay away from when i'm inside of her? Does it sound like i did well? Is fingering harmful? I'm very gentle and for the most part it didn't hurt. I just feel kind of bad. I mean she wants to do it, but i don't want it to be a danger. Thanks for any input.

I've been with my gf for close to 4 months now. Around the beginning she told me she has a close guy friend. She said they went out once but it didn't work out or something. Apparently they're good friends. I'll admit that alone doesn't make me happy but i can deal with it. The thing that really kills me is that he apparently loves her. He told her he loves her. I don't know if that was as a friend, but i'm pretty sure he meant it as more. My gf's best friend is a good friend of mine, and she agrees with me and tells me all of these things about this guy. He is away at college this year, but last winter he was in town and i met him at her families party. He hovered over her and basically acted like he was her boyfriend, even though i was right there. He totally disrespected me and barely said hi. I didn't realize it until a day or two later and since then i've hated his guts. I wanted to beat him down. Then, a few days later he took her to a play at a really nice theater in town. Just the two of them. She was grounded from seeing me at the time, and she still got to go out with him. This was like a date, whether she admits it or not. Then they went to her house and watched movies with her family. And during this, he would touch her leg, and hair and stuff like that. Her best friend told me this, my gf hid it from me. So i think if she hid that from me then who knows what else happens that no one tells me about. I think i have the right to know and it kills me. Thats why i don't want them hanging out alone or even doing much at all together. I can understand just being friends with someone, but i think he crossed the line that he's no good. She is so naive and she thinks nothing of this situation. That really bothers me. She knows i don't like him. I wish he would just leave her alone and stay away. Every bf she's had has a problem with it and he always causes trouble. It started an argument between us but we got past it. Everything has been fine. But now that he'll be in town for spring break, its really starting to worry me again and i HATE it. He called her a few days ago and again yesterday when we were out. I know i can't deny her to see him or be friends with him, but i don't think thats crazy because in my opinion, he isn't really being her friend and he just wants to be close so he can move in. I could be wrong but come on. What do you think? I don't know what to do here. If he's around her over spring break i will be so angry and i don't know what i'll do. And now it hits me that summer is close and he'll be around all the time then. I'm also worried that he'll cross the line more and my gf won't tell me about it. I'm really freaking out and it bothers me so much. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Thanks everyone. It all really helps. You are right about the low self-esteem thing, because i know she has that problem. By the way, she's 18 and i'm 19. I feel a little better and i'll figure something out. I asked her again the other day if she could show me how she gets herself off. She said "i don't know", like she really didn't want to talk about it. Its like there's something going on there. Oh well. I just don't get how she can enjoy what we do so much but not have an orgasm, or not want to have one. I'm not her first guy. She's been with other guys too and she's experienced in it so its not like she's new to it. She already "looses control" with the stuff i do for her now. So i don't think her reaction to an orgasm would be embarrassing to her or something.

My gf can't seem to have an orgasm with me. So far we've only done fingering and stuff like that. She doesn't like fingering so i stick to just rubbing her. Its weird to me because she can have an orgasm when she masturbates numerous times in a row. She loves everything i do for her and i know she enjoys it. She goes crazy and she says no one has ever made her feel that way. But its frustrating to me. I don't understand how it doesn't make her cum. She said no guy has ever given her an orgasm. Its like she doesn't want to. I've noticed she'll tell me to take a break, or she'll need to catch her breath. Or she'll have to leave. I've asked her to show me what she does to herself so that i can do it for her. But she said that didn't work in the past. I'm just getting frustrated. She gets me off so i'd like to do the same for her. I know girls are different than guys, but if she can do it herself then i don't know why no one else can. I've done everything right. I tell her i want to give her an orgasm and she says it doesn't matter to her and things like that, which just discourages me even more. Is this normal? What should i do or should i just forget about it?

shygirl23, thats like the exact same situation that i'm in! Its nice to know other girls go through the same thing. I have told her i love what she does, and she doesn't believe me. She thinks i'm just being nice. She gets so emotional and upset about it and i don't know why! I don't want her to not enjoy it. And now she's affraid. Its like one of the posters said, i like what she does because its with her. Taking that step actually made me feel a lot closer to her. And I have told her this. Its not like someone can be THAT bad at sex. I told her its pretty hard to not please a guy at all. By the way, she's 18 and i'm 19.

I've been with this girl for about 2 months now, and recently we've gotten into more sexual stuff during making out. I know this sounds kinda full of myself, but she keeps saying how i'm really good at stuff, etc... Even though we haven't gone really far. Anyway, the other night she felt bad bc we were making out, and we were kinda focusing on her alot. So she took the next step and started giving me a handjob. All throughout it she said she was discouraged, and that she "sucks at everything." She even stopped and cried on me. I don't know why she is like this. For some reason she thinks she isn't doing anything for me, and that i'm not enjoying it. I do enjoy it! It was our first time doing that and we had just started, so it wasn't perfect or anything, but i still liked it. I was loving what she was doing. I even told her during it. She told me i'm "just being nice" like i'm lying. I was close to cumming when we were interrupted by the phone and had to leave. I am not really vocal or responsive during sex, and i have told her this and she knows. So i don't think thats why she's discouraged. She said "different guys like different things." I really was enjoying it and i even helped her out a bit and told her what i would like. She's still really sad about the whole thing. Yesterday she said she's too affraid to even try doing anything now. She doesn't believe me at all that i enjoy what she does. She has done things with other guys so its not her first time. Thats what i don't get. The only thing i can come up with is that she thinks i'm really good, and she wants to do the same for me. I don't know what to say to her! I don't have a problem with anything but she doesn't believe me, and she thinks she's horrible at everything. I don't want her to feel this way at all. What do you guys think is wrong? What should i do? Thanks alot.

Thanks! I will try starting off slow first. But does saying "i love you" change things? And is 2 months too soon for me to say something like this?

I've been dating this girl for almost 2 months now. We've been "official" for 3 or 4 weeks. From the moment i first called her we hit it off amazingly. We both care about each other openly, and there is a strong connection between us. She's not just another girl. She says so many nice things to me all the time so i know she feels the same way about me. Lately we've been getting even closer and seeing each other all the time. I have really strong feelings for her and so does she. I can't explain how i feel or what this is. Last night we got in trouble with her parents and i'm not allowed to see her for a couple of weeks. We've both been depressed all day. She cried a lot and so did i. The whole thing has made me realize how much i care about her, and then i got this bigger feeling. We always say how we "like" each other so much, but to me that word doesn't seem meaningful enough for what we have anymore. I know its love but i'm affraid to call it that for some reason. I don't want to be with anyone else ever and i think she feels the same way. But i don't want saying it to change the relationship. I am really happy with how things have been moving. But i have these feelings and i want her to know bc i'm almost positive she loves me too. But I don't want to tell her i love her if its too soon. What do you think i should do? I'm not in a hurry but i would like to tell her sometime soon. And do you think i should tell her "i love her," and/or say i'm "in love" with her? Thanks

Thanks everyone. I asked her if i crossed the line. She said no, and she liked it a lot. And she would have stopped me if she had a problem.