Double J

I agree with dreamer. Being in sucky relationships, or in relationships that didn't turn out as expected for that matter, help people to discover what they really want in a partner. It also teaches us more about ourselves and in many instances helps us to find ourselves. Thank God for trial and error.

I am convinced that not all the good guys are taken. There are plenty of nice guys to go around. The problem, I think, is that people get impatient and want things to happen sometimes (like finding the right person) at their beck and call. Life doesn't happen that way. Enjoy it and things will fall into place over time. Sometimes I feel that there aren't enough nice girls to go around, but in reality, there are plenty out there. Just don't preoccupy yourself so much with finding love and you will find it when you least expect it. Remember, you have to make yourself happy and love yourself above anything else.

There's this girl I dated who told me she lost her virginity to some 25 year old (she's 17) in April. He lives up north, so after they did their thing, he left her here with false hopes and expectations. She told me she hated him, that he was a total jerk, etc. 4th of july weekend comes around and she goes to NY where he is and spends the weekend with him. Girls are just irrational sometimes, no doubt about it. They shun the nice guys and go for the jerks because they don't want to hurt the nice ones; it's less of an emotional investment to go for the jerk.

Thanks for the replies thus far. What confuses me even more is that when I would call her over the phone, she'd be reluctant to maintain the conversation for more than 10/15 minutes, and online I would IM her and she'd leave pretty fast. So my guess is that either it was because of her sense of loyalty to her boyfriend, or, if she truly does like me, she just didn't want her feelings to intensify? I don't know. More replies would be appreciated. Jeff

You just gotta show a little confidence. That's all. And of course, treat them with respect. I'm sure you're looking into it too much. Maybe you could try approaching ten different girls in school and talking to them about something you learned in class (fake it if you already know the material, hehe) and that will start a conversation. From there you could see how they behave around you, and you're likely to get positive responses. Even if a person has "bad looks," that shouldn't influence how a person treats them all the time. Good luck.

Hey guys. I'm Jeff, new to the board. Here's something I need you guys to help me analyze. In my first semester in college, I met this great girl. She showed great signs of interest. She flirted by touching and laughing, she would walk with me to every class, come looking for me after work (on campus), and the like. Everything was great until she told me about her long distance relationship with her b/f, who she seemed loyal to. Anyhow, she even told me one time that i'd be the perfect boyfriend. One day I decided to test her by calling her "sis," and considering she's an only child, I thought she'd like this and feel comfortable with it. Boy was I wrong - She continually told me to stop calling her that. If this girl was so into her boyfriend, why would she do all this flirting stuff, and why would she not like me calling her my sis if we were good friends anyhow? Doesn't make sense! I hope you guys can give me your two cents on this.. Thanks Jeff