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Bingo72

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  1. Bingo72
    He and I really have talked on many occasions but I always ended up saying I'm sorry but now I almost resent that I've tried this many times and I know it will be 'day late, dollar short' as in I won't want it by the time he 'gets around' to wanting it. It scares me that this feeling I have of disinterest has appeared so fast. I've only had two relationships in my life and this is the same way they started to end too. My biggest fear is that if I bring it up for the final time and it seems like an ultimatum, he will give in and it won't really be what he wants. A perfect catch 22 I've got myself in now.
  2. Bingo72
    I have been with my boyfriend for just over two years. I liked that we were both single for a few years before we met each other so that we know exactly what it's like to live on our own, without a S/O, etc. We've had a pretty great relationship considering his past, (his mother and father put him into a foster home at the age of 9 while they both went to jail and never returned for him). I have been able to understand to some point why he has issues about being afraid to get married and I don't fault him for that, but suddenly during the last weekend, I have started thinking about getting married and having a real home, not renting. We both make decent money and live in our own places but I don't want to keep doing just this all my life. I am 30 and he is a very young 35. I don't know how to bring this up. We've had fights about marriage already. Because I wanted it someday and he doesn't feel we are ready. After two years of this kind of talk I really think that he just doesn't have the ability to do it because he is a little messed up about what he went through all his life without his parents being there. I don't want an ultimatum given to him but I am exhausted over wondering what kind of future I am going to have with him if he can never commit to marriage, hell, I don't want children, I am not a money waster, I take care of bills, money and my credit is execellent thanks to my parents's good advice. I don't want anything but to be married to him and be able to go home to a great husband everynight but he can't make the commitment. I feel like I am fallling out of love with him and don't know if it's too late to bother talking with him about this now or if it's just over. I don't think he takes me serious about the fact that I've said I'd rather be alone than unhappy but that's where I am at this point. Any advice?
  3. Bingo72
    I am better than you in any way you look at it so give up, there is nothing you can say that will get to me. And as for marriage, I am chosing not to settle for someone that is less than I am worth. I wasn't desparate to be married at a young age as some are. I chose to live my life the way I wanted, got to college, chosing not to have children, owning my own car and home. And be my guest, I guess the next things you are going to say is that I am old, wrinkly, no on will want me, I'm depressed, I'm ugly, I'm bitter, I am lonely, I'm angry, I am selfish, I don't want kids because no one wants them with me, I had an unhappy childhood, I'm sad....and so on. Like I said, give up, you won't get to me, however, I know you are going to keep responding because you can't help yourself. You want to 'put me in my place'. You sound like you are the bitter one, purusing this board just looking to force your advice on people like you did me. I can guarantee that you will respond to this just like all the others. An eighteen year old can't help but fight her way for respect I guess. You'll never get it that way. Your turn.
  4. Bingo72
    You are contradicting yourself, you are preaching about your statement being what You believe which is exactly what I did in my original post. You are doing to me exactly what you are ripping me for doing to you. I don't want your explaination or your reasons, I didn't start this thread! Leave me alone, I gave my opinion of his situation and you are like a bull dog, jumping at everyone else whose advice is against your belief. Get it? Now quit arguing this with me.
  5. Bingo72
    Yeah, you are 18 and married at a very young age. Come talk to me when you're marriage fails because your hubby is hooking up with people on the internet and realize you gave him permission to do so............. You need a little more life experience before you slam my opinion, just like I wrote on my reply, it was my opinion. I swear, I don't even read replies from teenagers on this forum, they think they know it all and yet aren't even living in the real world yet..............
  6. Bingo72
    Just the very thought that the person I was living with and supposedly 'in love' with would even want to email another guy is reason enough to end the relationship. To me, it doesn't matter if she is just curious as to what he is wanting or if it's simply just a friendly contact, she is risking the outside chance that you will find out. I wouldn't have kept emailing him if I were her. You have to wonder if the thought has crossed her mind that you won't even put up with this and you might just tell her it's over.....I would never take that chance with my boyfriend, if it's possibly losing him or losing some of his respect for me because I've left him to question my intentions then of course I wouldn't email another man. People don't respect relationships the way they used to. I wouldn't do anything to hurt my relationship and if I did, then that is the first sign that I am not happy with the person I am with. When people are happy with who the are with they won't care about keeping contact with someone the used to like. Just my opinion.
  7. Bingo72
    I totally admit that the way I handled this was the start of the whole problem, but like I always hear people say, "If they cheat once, they'll cheat again." So what's the difference in saying "if they lie once, they'll do it again?" The worst part of this is that he didn't tell me because he didn't want to deal with whatever reaction I would've had. That's the part I have never gotten over. Had he given me the chance it never would have escalated to this. He wants me to keep him company and go to the job site since it is just a weekend thing and that's what I've always done. I always go to these things with him but I feel like I should not go even though he's asked me to just to prove to him that I trust him and it won't consume me like it did before.
  8. Bingo72
    I feel like I am being a bit over-reactive here because the girl, I think, has married her boyfriend since then but I feel inferior to her now. I think to myself, "what was so special about her that made him want to keep things a secret?" Was there more to the story that he doesn't want me to know? I don't want him to know this is bothering me, I am better than this, being jealous and the like...........
  9. Bingo72
    About one year ago my boyfriend, who is an electrician, wired a house for a guy who was building a home. For the first few weeks I would occasionally go to the job site with him. About two months into this job I started to find out things that he hid from be because he didn't feel like 'hurting my feelings' or 'dealing with my being upset'. What I found out is that he once dated the sister of this guys' fiance and didn't tell me. He initially told me they only talked on the phone. A couple of weeks later I caught him in a lie when he accidentally said they had had dinner. Ever since this happened I don't feel like I can trust him. He has always prided himself as being a truthful person because he'd been hurt many times. Now, this may seem like no big deal which maybe it's not, but I feel explosively angry right now because this guy just called him and wants him to wire another home he is building. Which means it's like last year is happening all over again. I feel so hurt just remembering all this. It caused him and I to have a massive fight and it's taken me a long time to understand why he didn't tell me and I now believe that he didn't tell me all this because he was exactly right; I would be angry and hurt. What he doesn't understand is that he lied. Period. So what if I was going to be mad? I had spent two months hanging around this girl and had no idea that the two of them already had a history together. That is what burns me the most here. I feel like now he won't tell me basic things like this, like he had already known this girl a couple of years prior all because he was afraid of how I'd react. He doesn't realize the distrust this caused all because he kept from me something like this. On it's own it would have meant nothing to me. But because he handled it this way and I found out the way I did that broke my trust somehow. I feel like he was cowardly Now what? I don't want to go through all this again, a year later, wondering if she's going to be around like before. I can't go with him to the jobsite like before but yet I feel like I have to be there. I hate that he's put me in this position, again.
  10. Bingo72
    Get out of this relationship now! There are too many things that don't mesh. Doesn't sound like he gives a damn whether you are sitting somewhere and waiting anyway does it? You may have issues from past relationships but don't always think, "Oh, it's just me being insecure again." Go with your gut feeling. Even if he's not cheating he certainly isn't considerate of your time and whether you know what's going on with his life or not. Do you really want him anyway?
  11. Bingo72
    in my opinion if you feel you have to lie then you know it's wrong and you know someone will be hurt by it. Like the post above said, forget about the ex, live in the moment. There's reasons why you are not with the ex now so why keep any kind of attatchment going?
  12. Bingo72
    Also remember that even though you haven't been with anyone else and he has, which you said makes you uneasy just knowing there were others, turn the tables on him. Think about how worried he might be that since he is your only experience that YOU might stray. I think it all equals out in the end.
  13. Bingo72
    Almost 100% of the time a person that does something like this is somehow wanting you to know that they are a "desireable" person too. The worst thing to do is to let him know it got to you. I think it would bother that girl more to see that he's with you now. Sometime he'll have to see one of your ex's. He may not say anything but I can bet you that he'll think the same thing.
  14. Bingo72
    No matter which way you look at it or whose advice seems the best in the end you will not feel good about this marriage. I hope you don't go through with it because even if he has his "reasons", you will still not feel that you are "together" through it all He will end up holding all the cards on this and making all the decisions here because it seems as if he feels that since he brings home bigger earning, that he'll have a bigger say in everything. Please don't take the chance on this!
  15. Bingo72
    All I can tell you is that if this kind of thing is happening before a baby or marriage is brought into the picture then what makes you think this kind of act will stop after the baby is here or if you two were to get married? The first thing I thought after reading your post is that he is one of those men that doesn't want to be tied down and seems to be angry about the situation he's in by having a baby on the way. Think of yourself here. It's not going to get better. What kind of guy takes off leaving his pregnant girlfriend alone knowing you couldn't get back home without help and second, maybe he is screwing around on you. I hate to be so blunt but what is so appealing about him that you feel you don't want to leave him for? He sounds like a mean tempered brat that could affect your child in a bad way.
  16. Bingo72
    I have been the same way for about 12 years. I'm like an on and off smoker. I can quit it for a few months at at time and then suddenly find myself doing it every night for a couple of months. I am not overweight but could be thinner. I know that doing this doesn't help me because my weight stays the same but there is something about it that makes me feel in control of my body or something. It's like if someone makes me mad or I think my boyfriend looked at a girl I thought has a better body than me, the end of the day I can be found binging then throwing it up. I really, really don't know what it is but something about it makes me feel better about myself. Go figure. I am in your position in needing to probaly get help but there is no way in hell I could tell my family. They'd watch me like a hawk and I can't put them in that position where they feel they have to "follow behind me" everytime I eat something. It's just not serious like the people you hear about on TV. Those people seem to do it everyday, throughout the day but my habit just isn't the same so I don't know what to do either. I ask myself if it really is a problem that I have or if what I do really doesn't hurt me. Hmmm.
  17. Bingo72
    I wouldn't spend anymore time thinking she might come back, do you really want her anyway, after she left you? I wouldn't worry about the lie you told. It's none of her business anyway and you must ask yourself "why do I care what she knows about me now." If you guys had been together that long and it isn't working out then in my sincere opinion I think you need to move on. You never know who you might meet and then realize how much happiness someone new can give that you were missing from your ex the whole time.
  18. Bingo72
    Tell me this, would you really want him back after he found the gumption to tell you that he was not in love with you anymore? In my opinion, someone knows whether they want to be with you in the first year you are together. If he is so unsure that he actually broke it off with you then I think you should really consider your true feelings about him. If he does this once to you then he could do it again say, after you are married. Also, how do you feel going from a fiance back to just a girlfriend? I don't mean to sound negative here but think about yourself first. And if you do go back to him, make him really earn it this time. You have to know that it really does feel right.
  19. Bingo72
    First and foremost, if the relationship is this new, he wouldn't even want to do this even if it's just because his buddies are going. Let him know that you are not comfortable with it and then see what he does with that. That should be a sign for how things would be down the road for the two of you. I wouldn't tolerate it at all. This kind of stuff leads to other things in most cases. Even if you are sure it wouldn't, do you really want to have this kind of thing to worry about??
  20. Bingo72
    Similar thing for me too. He says I am the best thing that's ever happeneded to him (me 29, him 34) so why wouldn't he want to just do it? I really do think that a little bit of withdraw is good just to see what he thinks of it and if he shows a little concern. My bf and I have been together for 11 months, together everyday so suddenly not getting together in the evening for even one day is not an option. Red flags would go up immediately. Just show less interest in his activites and what he says. If he notices that you are feeling a little different, still don't spill the beans as to what you are doing. But, be prepared if it is a case where you really begin to feel that he won't ever commit. There's nothing wrong with waiting to actually "do it" but I know the feeling of wanting to know that someone wants you as much as you want them. I wouldn't be one of those girls that waits another two or three years though, why give him the rest of your youth and then realize it was all for not. If someone wants to marry you they will do it and not need even more time to be together as just bf and gf. Re-read what Kipster said again, I truley believe you'll start getting some answers if you take this advice.
  21. Bingo72
    If I were you I'd wonder, "do I want someone back that did't want me even for a minute?" I think she is using you as a backup, someone to always come back to if she found out that she doesn't find something more interesting out there. How would it really make you feel if she showed up at your door tonight and said she wanted it all back? You'd always wonder when the next break up might come but it wouldn't be worth the respect you'll eventually gain for yourself. My advice is to give her a call and tell her you want her to make arrangements to stop the mail and get her things. Play cool about it, if she asks why don't give her any reason. Make her wonder about you and what your private life is like these days without her. Trust me, it works. Even though she's the one that left she'll still want to know what you do these days but don't allow it. Feel good about yourself and cut ties with this.
  22. Bingo72
    I have been on depo for over four years now. The problem with it is that you don't usually have a period, but if you finally do start to spot then it seems to last a few weeks. I don't think there is much you can do about it but you are just starting out and I think once your body adjusts then this continuous spotting will stop like it did for me. It would happen about three time a year and last about two to three weeks for me. Other than that I've never had bad side effects from it at all.
  23. Bingo72
    Also, I am thinking of not continuing this relationship because if he can change that quickly or never meant it and was all talk, I don't really want to be with someone like that. I won't be the kind of girl that begs a man for his love. I'll be alone before I ever do that....
  24. Bingo72
    My guy and I love each other and knew it from the second week we were together. It's been 11 months now and starting back in February he talked often of us getting married and that we are both ready since we are 29 and 34 years old. Suddenly he had a 1200.00 car repair and now says he can't do the marriage thing because he has no money for the ring. He is saying now it will be a year when before he said he wanted to do this in September 2004. I thought he was maybe trying to throw me off or something but I really do believe him now. How can someone go from wanting something so much to suddenly "we can't because of money" thing? Our relationship hasn't changed in anyway to make me believe that he no longer wants me like that but what did cause this change? We both make decent money and have few bills so what is the truth here?
  25. Bingo72
    He spent time in a foster home for kids from the time he was 13 on. He seems to have had alot of counseling over the five years he was in this group home but he doesn't have much to say about that time in his life, just that he had few friends and it wasn't a caring place to be.
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