First timer here. I love him so much. My boyfriend was raped by a man when he was 12 years old. Among other issues, he's had a horrible childhood in all. Jailed father, drug addicted sisters, mother comitted suicide last year. I am afraid that he will never let me be a full part of his life because he thinks I may abandon him as everyone else in his life did. He is now in his thirites and admited to me that he never dealt with any of his past. I have no problem helping him and do not feel that his 'issues' will in anyway cause me to leave.
Here is my problem. I recently found porn clips downloaded on his PC. I asked him about it and he told me the reason. He said that he has no sex drive which I did suspect because we've had discussions about it before in out 10 month relationship. Initially I was furious because I thought he found the women attractive but then I realized that with the life he's had and the things he's gone through, I can understand why this issue came up.
I am afraid though, because of the embarrasement of me finding out, that he will hide it from me again and that next time I will be so angry that I will feel he is just a liar and give up on the relationship. He has a difficult time "maintaining" it during intercourse. But any other kind of sex is just fine. Why of all things is it intercourse that he can't do? He never initiates anything which I am okay with but I need to know that it's not me physically. He told me that he goes to the sites before I come over because he can't get interested in sex without some help.
Any advice would be so helpful right now.
