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saltwatergirl

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Everything posted by saltwatergirl

  1. saltwatergirl
    Have you two had other stressful situations in which you snapped and didnt remain calm cool and collected? Think back. Maybe she has picked up some sort of vibe that when the going gets tough , you start running around like a bangee instead of calmly tackling the situation at hand like a man. Im not condoning the break up i too think it was RIDICULOUS of her to do, but perhaps this is the idea she has gotten in her head about you. If so, it would be cause for alarm for her. As a girl, you want a man who you can trust is going to handle life's crises, take care of you two, who will get done what needs to get done without causing even MORE damage (resort to dipping when you said you'd quit) ... if you have been less than stellar in this area, it is perhaps why she snapped and did what she did. Your next move? I'd back off let her have time to cool down, calm down, and then the actual "i broke up with him' realization will settle in. At which point, I'm sure she will call. At that time, ask her if the above is a concern for her...you will get points for even THINKING it might be. if it is, acknowledge it, say how you can see that type of behavior would let her down or worry her, and how you are learning as you go here and will start working on your stress handling skills if given the opportunity (and im sure after 2 years, you will be). Then, for future references, even if on the inside you are TRIPPING over something, please maintain an outward "Im In Control, We Are Fine" appearance, at least around your girlfriend. Fake it if you must, until you develop the self confidence to be sure of your ability to navigate life's challenges without a freak out. Salt
  2. saltwatergirl
    Wow. That's really out of line. This isn't good. you've shared this with him? Told him this? And he hasn't responded to you? Agreed. Very disrespectful. You have alot going on here. You are really coming accross to me as a person who is lonely, neglected, and unappreciated. And I'm a stranger! i cant imagine the man living with you not noticing or caring about this emotional state you are in. Im in complete agreement with you. He needs to disconnect from the internet and reconnect with you. I don't know how you are going to make him realize that, or see the importance of it. But I would not stay in a situation with a man who not only treated me this way, but seemed completely unaffected by it when I told him about it. He loves you, he's willing to do what it takes to maintain the relationship---up to and INCLUDING getting off a message board if it makes you uncomfortable (and clearly, it does). He needs to take care of his business at home, and he is not doing that. I'm not a fan of ultimatums, but in this case i cant see any other alternative. Youve suggested compromises, and he isn't interested in doing that. At least that way he has the CHOICE to choose you over the internet...rather than just waking up one day and finding you gone, which is the likely outcome if this continues. I hope he isn't that blind. The internet is entertainment, escape, sometimes even personally or professionally helpful. However, it has never, and will never, replace having someone in your life that you LOVE and want to keep around. If it starts to intrude on your relationship, or make the other person uncomfortable, you stop it. if not, you have a serious problem and it isn't online addiction, its more about just how important you really are to him. You are slipping away. He is losing you, and he doesn't even realize it. I hope he wakes up before it's too late, because sooner or later, it will be. Salt
  3. saltwatergirl
    As declared by you. As expected by you. ^^^^ READ THAT^^^^ Salt
  4. saltwatergirl
    You could always have your people call her. Salt
  5. saltwatergirl
  6. saltwatergirl
    I'll never understand this position. Salt
  7. saltwatergirl
    I concur with the 'kick to the curb and move on' sentiments expressed above. Salt
  8. saltwatergirl
    I sense you're in need of a flashback, a trigger, a reminder of why you don't want to contact her ever again. Let me see if I can help you. HER WORDS TO YOU WERE: "know what it is like to climb in bed with a georgeous man with a hard body that could please you for hours without making you sick at the thought of having him inside you. praying for it to be over" She is a disgusting, cruel, heartless beiotch. Remember? Salt
  9. saltwatergirl
    I think its a progression that follows the subtopics in this forum. Posting niche going from "Breaking Up" to "Getting Back Together" to "Healing After BreakUp" Someone should investigate the pattern. Salt
  10. saltwatergirl
    Who does that? What would be the motive? Anyway, I am glad you are taking steps. I really am. If she really is doing the above, she is really, really mentally off-balance, and who knows what she might do next. You are going to be fine, just get this thing ended before she really does something drastic, and potentially physically harmful to you. Salt
  11. saltwatergirl
    You asked her to meet up, she declined, and now you are ... let m find the quote...."I'm pretty much at the end". After one declining of your suggestion to meet up. You know what, the problem is you. You really want to know what the main thing is? I'll tell you: IT ISNT GOING THE WAY YOU WANT IT TO GO. It's all about YOU. Things are not happening as quickly or perfectly as you want them to happen...you are the director and the play isn't following your script. You seem demanding, overly critical, and Im sorry but you also come accross as a spoiled brat. "I know for a fact that she isn't do much in her spare time".. Wow. Really? There's nothing in her world but you? Gawd. How insensitive. I have read everything you posted. And you know what I think? I think you're selfish. I think you have all these expectations that she must meet, and when she doesn't meet those expectations, or act/respond in the way that you deemed appropriate, her value sinks. Id be willing to bet this is EXACTLY how she feels. Hel, she's probably afraid to do anything at this point because it might not meet with your ever high standards of acceptance... You agreed with this person to forge a friendship. You suggest an outing. She declines. She (and everyone else in the world) has that perrogative. How do you know it was a lame excuse? What makes you the judge of what is and is not an appropriate excuse? And now becuase of that, you are at the end? You're done? You're pulling the plug on a friendship; it's no longer worth the trouble? Wow. You sound arrogant, conceited, and spoiled. If this is any indication of how you conducted yourself in this relationship, I can see where she would be hesitant to consider a friendship with you. Because a friendship, just like any other relationship, requires the acknowledgment and value of people other than yourself. Salt
  12. saltwatergirl
    I don't undestand the point of this statement. Your email already stated you were with your g/f and her family in Europe....why add this detail one paragraph later? To show you aren't interested? Wouldn't the g/f statement already mentioned have sufficed? I don't know, I think the creation of a fake email address was odd. Why couldnt your friend just email her from his email? Why did he have to create a new one? No, I agree with the other poster, you are playing games; you are participating in the drama. Creating a fake email is not upfront, honest, forward, direct. It's a sneaky, under the table act, and that sort of undermines your position in this deal (in my opinion). I think that was a mistake. Something isn't being said here. If it is truly as you claim, that means she really is mentally unstable (in a fatal attraction kind of way) and you should have already gone to the police. What is stopping you? If someone were creating a fantasy world and casting me as the star in their show, I'd be scared enough to go to the police whether it causes her any legal problems or not. Why have you let this thing go on? Why did you choose to create a fake email account and set up "scene 1, act 3" of this drama, when all you have to do is go to your local police department and share all this 'evidence' of harassment with them? If you really are just sitting here doing nothing and she is living in some delusional, schizophrenic mental state.....I don't understand what's stopping you. Is there something you're afraid will "come out" if you take that step? Why would you even come to the possible scenario that someone out there is using your name to email her husband? Why would that happen? That isn't even a realistic or plausible event, but you actually thought of it and asked if it is possible???? Im sorry, something is fishy here. Salt
  13. saltwatergirl
    Ditto. by the way I liked your email letter. Straight to the point and no room for interpretation. Stay away from the blog. She sounds childish. Salt
  14. saltwatergirl
    Im so glad you are out of this verbally abusive relationship. Keep moving forward. Salt
  15. saltwatergirl
    How old is she? Salt
  16. saltwatergirl
    I dont think there is anything wrong with you at all. You are missing someone who was once a big part of your life. You were hurt, but that doesn't always diminish the feelings or cause you to have no hidden hopes or go through what if's from time to time.... I'm no expert. I myself struggle with these things. I think really, it is just one of those things that takes time. As I said to someone earlier, you have to go through a process of unraveling feelings, and creating new "truths" for yourself. That's hard, and it doesn't just happen, even if you were hurt or realize it isn't a good situation for yourself. We are human beings, and as such our hearts tend to have ideas of their own, sometimes in direct contrast to what our brains tell us. And it's normal I think to be confused and struggle with the very opposite "poles" (heart vs. brain). You may make a ton of progress, then you may digress, it's just a process of untangling and you might sometimes do or think things that are in direct contrast to what you did or thought yesterday. Like a relapse. Broken hearts are just hard to heal. I think as long as you follow your gut instinct and try to always act from a place of peace and doing what is right for YOU, it will all work out in the long run. I wish it was easy and swift but, in my experience, it isnt. I wish you well in your healing and I hope you begin to feel better again soon. Salt
  17. saltwatergirl
    LOL WHATTTTT??@!! Yep, this guy is a nutjob. Salt
  18. saltwatergirl
    this is so true!!! He is manipulating you, my gawd the nerve of him to say that to you and then suggest you two still hang out sometime!!! ACK does he really think this low of you? Does he think you think this low of yourself? If I were you I'd NOT have ANY FURTHER COMMUNICATION with this idiot. What a lowlife!! Some people are so good at manipulation, it's almost an art form for them. I know one myself. He is giving you a load of crap, and actually thinks you'll take it! Wow, how you aren't mad as all heck is beyond me. Salt
  19. saltwatergirl
    Yes, nothing worse than hearing these things from a third party. Salt
  20. saltwatergirl
    There is your answer. Salt
  21. saltwatergirl
    This is just a hair trigger reaction. He ended things; but now he is lonely here and there, so he wants you to be his fallback. Nothing written in stone, no "labels' or anything...just be there when he needs you. I'd personally be offended by that. Go back to not answering the phone, only now realize you have to ignore the blocked calls as well. He made his bed, let him lie in it. salt
  22. saltwatergirl
    Exactly. Thanks, I needed to hear that today. Salt
  23. saltwatergirl
    Really? And you think the way he has handled this is mature? This guy just randomly out of the blue after 4 years decides he is stressed over your cultural difference and that it just "won't work out" now?? Before he knew it 4 YEARS went by? What?! Yeah okay, whatever. That isnt whats going on here. I dont know what the real reason is, but I am 99% sure it's not THAT!! Please tell me you aren't falling for this lame excuse. Salt
  24. saltwatergirl
    Great!!! Now internalize that anger! Focus on this one line, because it isn't about him leaving you, it's about YOU LEAVING HIM: Now your askin for me back--your just another ACT---look elsewhere cause YOUR DONE WITH ME!!!! Scream it outloud if you have to. He has shown you what he thinks of you. Fine! Be Gone Then! Remember: YOU are leaving HIM. Because he is a @!#$. Salt
  25. saltwatergirl
    I think you crave having someone around so much that when you b/f left for his trip, you replaced his physical presense with your old ex. I don't think it's about either of these men. I think you just don't want to be alone. Remember, you don't 'need' anyone. It's fine to not need, as a matter of fact it is better that you don't. PS Buyers Remorse: Jumping on impulse to buy something that sounds good "at the moment"; then when reality hits a day or so later, you regret that decision. But because you act on impulse to satisfy immediate emotional need, you make damaging, careless decisions that you later wish you hadn't. What it is that makes you feel as if you need someone around all the time? Salt
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