saltwatergirl
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saltwatergirl last won the day on July 28 2006
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About saltwatergirl
- Birthday 04/30/1968
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Where did I assume? I ended the sentence with a question mark---last time I checked that indicates a question, not a statement. A question that was formed based on the impressions I got from your post. None of that = assumption. My impressions: You called her out for staying with a man who cheated on her, dumped her for you, then went back. You said "i know for a fact"she didnt know,, but if you didn't know he was cheating on her with you, how the heck would you know that? If you came to learn he was cheating on her with you after you got with him, then why are you commenting on her low self respect for wanting him back, when you seem to be doing the same thing (based of course on your past posts)? Seems to me you'd be ready to lose the cheater, not make judgements about his latest victim's character. Seemed a little misdirected to me. But, whatever floats your boat. No, I didnt take it out of context. You decided against a birthday card based on seeing her as his #1 friend on myspace. At least, that is what you posted. I just found that a little odd, considering everything else he has done, that a myspace issue would sway the vote. Salt
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Where do you post when your like 5 forums fit the problem!!!
saltwatergirl replied to alyx1's topic in Relationship Advice
Stop believing his "I will change" and "I love you" BS because that is all it is, pure BS. He has already lied and cheated so many times and you keep thinking maybe this time he has finally seen the light, but I am certain you are setting yourself up for more heartache if you keep trying to believe a LIE. Staying involved with all this could do serious psychological damage, and completely destroy your capacity to trust another human being, I know you love him but he isn't worth your mental health being messed up. Get your daughter, pack, and go stay with parents. Stop this vicious cycle and deal with the sadness that comes because you have NO reason to believe anything he says. He is a proven liar, a proven cheater, and is a cruel person saying the things he has said to you. He also takes zero responsibility and has manipulated you to the point where you now think things are your fault when in reality they are not. He is messing with your head, and you have to put a stop to it. You already have the rationalizations and perceptions of a person who has been abused in some way. It will only get worse, you need to get out of this mess, hard or not, you have no other choice. Get up and leave. In time, alone, you will start to unravel things in your mind and really see what you have been subjected to, and see how completely distorted your views have become. Find your courage, and get up on your feet and fix this problem. Salt -
is there ever a reason to excuse cheating?
saltwatergirl replied to SeaBisquit's topic in Infidelity
So True. Salt -
By the way, you're 35 years old, and you're upset about who someone has as their 'number 1 friend on myspace page"....have you said that outloud? Salt
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Why do they bother and not respect our wishes?
saltwatergirl replied to thlst3's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I bet she is! Especially since the guy she cheated with apparently didnt work out in her favor! I agree, this is hilarious! Please don't dignify it with a response. What a piece of work she is! Salt -
He cheated on her with you? You got with him when he had a girlfriend, knowingly, but you feel she has no respect for herself? Salt
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Guy she had sex with, anxious to meet me????
saltwatergirl replied to Sobo's topic in Getting Back Together
Easy answer: You're in love with her. Other men aren't. So you behave differently. As for fair, yes it is fair. She slept with another guy. Not only should you not be forced into a situation of meeting him but she shoudl have absolutely NO further contact with him and if she is balking at either of those two things, you need to hit the bricks and i mean that. Dont take this BS for another minute. Give her the ultimatums mentioned above and she either accepts them, or she's out. Salt- 22 replies
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This may sound harsh but..... First of all, you said you ignored her for 4 days after your argument. Then you got mad that she didn't continue to try and beg and call! You had no right to get upset over the birthday deal, you had FLAT OUT ignored her attempts to contact you. I dont understand that. That was childish and mean. I would have written you off as well. You have behaved in a selfish, spoiled way. I am stunned that you sat there and ignored her attempts but then had the nerve to get mad when she did jump all over calling you on your birthday. How egotistical! From reading the rest of the post: she appears to have tried on several occasions to rekindle things or was at least open to rekindling them, and each time you blocked it. You then said you were hoping 'she' asked you to move in? Let me ask you a question: why don't you ever initiate anything? Why do you wait on her to do things while your own wants and desires remain hidden? You do nothing when you are with her but then when apart you seem to want it all, but yet want HER to do all the work. Why is that? Rejoining the dating site within a week of your argument with her was stupid. It also shows a complete lack of feelings for her. So why all the sudden do you think you are 'In Love" with her? I seriously question that. You seem to think that when you are angry, you can behave however with no regard for her feelings or the relationship, that all bets are off and you can do whatever because You Are Mad! But then act like you are stunned that she isn't around, and "devestated"......How egotistical. I dont think you both behaved like children, I think YOU behaved like a child. The first thing you need to do is stop sitting there waiting for her to text you. You need to get off your a$s and do some pursuing, and face whatever possible rejection might come with it. This is the only way of proving yourself, and yes, you do need to prove yourself. Instead you sit there and wait for HER to text YOU. You still arent doing your share of anything. And right now your share is about 70/30. You told her you were sorry and wanted another shot. Well, if that's true, why aren't you going after it? Why did you just sit there tonite and expect HER to come to YOU? Then you log off after thirty minutes, because she didnt initiate anything? What do you think your effort here should be? Nothing? Again this is extremely egotistical. I see no effort from you so far. None. Im sure she thought the same thing tonite when you didn't text. You seem so far to be a joke. An egotistical, game playing joke. If you dont want to be taken as such, then start doing something constructive and really take a good hard look at how selfish you behave. Salt
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This seems silly to me. You left because of all the fighting and also she was physical with you. Now you are thinking about returning to that? Why? Boredom with the new girl? A lull in your life? Guilt? I dont see the point. Salt
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talked again, now finger crossed
saltwatergirl replied to screwedup's topic in Getting Back Together
I dont like this at all. If he had good intentions he would not be "too busy" the month of August. Nothing would take that priority above this relationship if in fact it's what he wants. I would not do this at all. I think if you do, you are in for a lot of pain. Salt- 5 replies
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Ask her again. If she turns you down a second time, accept that it is done for whatever reason, for now, and forget about it. Salt
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Severe Damage - Chance for Reconciliation?
saltwatergirl replied to jps's topic in Getting Back Together
Well, your lies and cheating during this relationship have really done a great deal of damage here and you need to accept that you may not be able to salvage anything. I cant imagine hearing all that and still considering a relationship with him. If I were you I would send the letter, yes, and then I would totally disappear. She likely needs time alone without contact from you so that she can process what she has heard. I'd also like to mention, that considering she also cheated on you twice, you both have some serious thinking to do, and I think it best to do that thinking alone. You dont want to make a rash decision to get back together just because you miss each other if you are not both totally committed to NOT CHEATING ANYMORE ON EACH OTHER. Maybe the time has come to end this relationship? Maybe it's time and purpose is over? Time alone is what you need, and her too. I'd send the letter then fade to the background and give it time and space. PS congrats on victory over the cancer and the addiction to random sex. Salt- 32 replies
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Giving passwords means nothing. He probably doesnt use those for anything and likely has other addresses you are clueless about. I would really be wary here, he seems too over the top for me. Salt
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Well, he obviously isnt going to tell you "Yes it is me". So you cant find out by asking anymore. So yes, you have no choice but to let it go from that standpoint. Should you let it go for good? Who knows...that depends. How much investigative detective work do you feel like putting in to this? Salt
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Sounds like you are different types...there are those people who dont need lots of this type of stuff, and others who do. So you have to match up with the same type. Maybe you haven't. She could easily find a man who doesnt see the all out importance of this stuff, and you could easily find a girl who does and doesnt have to be directed to do it......This is what you call not a good match, IMO. Salt
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