dotneter

According to link removed, circumcision is "the cutting off of the foreskin of males that is practiced as a religious rite by Jews and Muslims and as a sanitary measure in modern surgery." For men born in America, the parents can elect to have the procedure done on the infant because it is supposedly sanitary and prevents some diseases later on in life. To the best of my knowledge, though, it makes no difference physically. Hope that helps.

They know I don't do drugs so they never bring their stuff over here. The guy in that couple (closer friend to me than the girl) is much better about this than the girl. He's never come over when he was high, and from what I gather he's not the one addicted--it's her. In any case, the smell was actually just on her person. I'm just guessing but you'd have to smoke quite a bit to actually smell up someone's place just by going there. As for the dog, she brings her over because my dog is like her best friend. She's a sweet puppy but they are really horrible at training her. My dog's well trained and never has accidents. When their dog does something they do usually clean up--it's not nearly as clean as I would rather it be but at least they do something. The problem is when we don't know about her dog's little adventures till hours later when we have to play the "where's that smell coming from?" game. Not fun. What you say makes sense though, my house my rules. I don't have a problem laying down the rules, I just have a problem doing it nicely. They're good friends and I don't want to screw it up. Being extra careful because they're very laid back when we're over at their place. But then again, these are people whose philosophy on ferret poop is "leave it for a week till it gets hard--it's easier to pick up that way". I guess I'm just posting here to rant a little. My girlfriend and I have worked very, very hard to make our place nice and it's very easy to make a mess out of it. I guess there's no easy way of doing this, huh? Gotta set down the rules. Thanks sayer7!

Alright so this is probably a dumb problem but how do you tell someone they're being annoying without offending them? My girlfriend and I are very good friends with our neighbors, also a couple. We have a lot of animals and it gets messy. We have different definitions of clean, but that's cool because as long as it doesn't affect me, whatever. But when they come over it's very hard for me to tell them to stop doing annoying things. They have a tiny little dog that terrorizes our cats, poops and pees all over the place and destroys just about everything she touches. Our dogs were puppies once, so we know what that's like, but I don't like having to be the one to tell their dog to stop doing things while they just sit there and do nothing. In any case, that's just minor annoyances that I'm probably just being anal about. What really bothers me is something that happened today. My neighbors like to smoke pot. We don't do drugs, but as long as it doesn't affect us we don't have a problem with someone else doing it. They spent a couple of hours here and now the whole place reeks of pot. Even if the smell weren't an issue, people don't exactly act normally when they're high. It really bothers me and I really want to say something to them, but I don't want to offend them. Anybody been in a similar situation? Any suggestions on how I should bring it up?

MissJBug, sick or not, he has no right to hurt you or any other members of your familiy. The next time he does, call 911 right away and they will send an officer to your place. Explain the situation to the officer, and he will tell your father that if it happens again he will be arrested (you will have the option to press charges). Many cities also have a non-emergency line, 311, where you can call and explain the situation to the operator and they can suggest what you can do. If you're in school, speak with a teacher or a counselor there about this. You shouldn't have to just "deal with it for now"--this just shouldn't happen to begin with! Here's a link with some information: link removed And specifically, here's an excerpt from that page: Please feel free to PM me if you'd like any more information, and good luck!

I don't think you'll take my advice because I am not going to say what you want to hear, but it's something you need to hear so I will say it. You are a good person and are deserving of love and respect. When a guy tells you he doesn't want to be with you but he doesn't want to say that he won't want to be with you later either, he's basically saying "I'm done with you for now but stick around, just in case." That doesn't sound like something a "Great Guy" would do, does it? He says he loves you but doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. Obviously you do. But do you want it so badly that you want to convince him to be with you? Let's say you do manage to convince him to be with you, will you honestly be happy a month from now knowing that there is a pretty good chance he is only there because you made him? Have some dignity. Walk away from this and don't look back. Write down what it is that you're feeling, with so much detail that you will feel exactly how you feel right now whenever you read it. If he comes back to you (which he most likely will eventually), take it out and read it, and then decide whether or not you'll take him back. You deserve better.

Having never been in your situation myself, I can only imagine how much pain you must be in. But I am very close to your son's age so maybe my perespective can help you. I moved out for college when I was 17, but my mom never approved. Now that I'm completely independent, I make decisions about my life that she doesn't approve of, and she blames him for ever letting me move out. In any case, their disagreement over this has sparked so many more issues in their marriage that it just baffles me. No matter how small an argument may be, it always comes up that he let me go and now she lost her son. Think about it, do you have an issue that's just never resolved and is constantly eating at you? Maybe she has one that you're not aware of? My dad used to tell me that for a conversation to go well between two people, one must play the child while the other must play the parent. If you're both being the same you accomplish nothing. When was the last time you had an actual parent-child conversation with your son? How about your wife? Like aireyc and K8tie suggested, you may want to consider family counselling. But if that doesn't work for you, you need to really get those hamsters running and really WORK on getting her back. SHOW her that you care. SHOW her that you're willing to change, if that's what is needed. Show her that you're WILLING to FIGHT. She's seeing the world without you and she's beginning to get used to it. No matter how much she may love you, her life right now must be much easier because she doesn't have to worry about you or your son (at least not as a 24 hours a day conscious thing) You don't have much time left. You don't have to buy her something really expensive or reenact a scene from a movie--you just have to show her that you're not willing to let her go without a fight. And about your son, I'm sorry man, but he sounds to me like a mooch. If he's not in school he needs to be helping you guys out. It's not fair that your mom works 50-60 hours a week and you don't help out. I don't want to be presumptious here but it really sounds like she meant a lot to you--please don't let her go like that!

Your boyfriend sounds a lot like what I used to be like. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now, and when we first started dating it was long distance (she lived in the same town as my parents and I was away at college). For the longest time, I didn't even realize that me setting a date and then postponing it over and over till sometimes finally just cancelling it could cause so much stress on the other side. I mean if I just told her from the beginning, "I don't think I'll be able to make it", at least she wouldn't waste her time waiting. But I was close with my family and I just never even thought about it. The first few times she actually brought it up, I was kind of annoyed and thought she was being petty, but once I finally understood that I was making her feel always second-best, I realized what her point was. On an unrelated note, his mom sounds a lot like my mom! I can just imagine him saying he has to go and his mom saying, "what's more important than your family?" and that's that. Seriously, though, you should talk to him about this. But be careful not to be accusing. If he's so close to his family, he may take offense easily. Reiterate it, over and over if you have to, that you're not trying to make him pick between you and his family, but he needs to understand that he needs to set some time aside for you and ONLY you so you at least know that you're important to him. You should never have to compete for his attention, and you shouldn't have to settle either. If he wants you in his life he needs to make sacrifices. (It's strange that I'm telling you this--I remember my girlfriend telling me the same things not long ago!) Good luck, and feel free to PM me if you want to know what things my girlfriend said that worked on me!

I know no one likes to think that their mate thinks about someone else sexually, it's bound to happen. And especially when this is a long distance relationship. Even if it weren't a long distance relationship, even if the two of you were so sexually involved that that is all you did all day, do you honestly expect him to have so much discipline that he doesn't even think about anyone else sexually? Can you do that? I agree with bzborow1. I'm sorry if it sounds harsh, but you are the one with the problem here...

Call me cynical, but I think your friend wants to have her cake and eat it too (and at the same time, doesn't want you to have any cake at all!). If she's important to you, you may want to have a talk with her and let her know how you feel. If she takes it well, good. If not, then she's being irrational and you're better off without her. It's okay if you being with her ex bothers her, but she has no right to make you pick between the two of them (even though eventually you will have to) if things are really over between them.

What about stuff like playboy pictorals? They usually just have one person, and they don't exactly engage in a sexual act. Porn is entertainment. Prostitution is physical stimulation. Look vs. Touch, whole different animals there.

My girlfriend is the smartest person I know, and I know some really smart people so that's saying something. So to answer your question in short, yes. There are TONS of guys who like girls for their personalities, BUT... here's the long version. Alright feel free to disagree with me on this one since I'm generalizing a lot with no proof to back it up, but when they're young (high school age), girls like the pretty-boy types. The atheletes, the famous guys, etc. During this time, the smart guys are busy studying and worshipping one of the pretty girls that's out of their league. In college, things start to change for some girls but many are still after the pretty boys, who have now become big beergulping frat guys (again, HUGE generalization) and the smart guys are still studying their butts off. Few years pass and after having their hearts broken by a bunch of airhead frat guys, they start to go the other way, and look at the smart guys. I imagine a pretty sorority sister pondering on this in her head, "sure he's not great looking, but hey, at least I'll be the pretty one in the relationship!" and say what the hell. I can also imagine some nerd going through the idea in his head that even though she won't appreciate him he'll have a pretty mate, and going for it. But if you think about it in the long haul, the ONLY relationships that WILL work are the ones that aren't based on looks alone--because sooner or later everyone gets old and "ugly". You're 60. She doesn't have her looks. You can't get it up. It's her mind you're going to want. ...or maybe your hot 22 year old secretary. So yeah, not implying that you're not pretty at all (I'm digging my self in deeper and deeper...) but don't worry about it--a pretty flower may attaract a lot of bees but if it has nothing worth sucking on, the be won't stay for long.

How about passing her a note saying, "Hi there, my name is [insert name here], what's yours?" and see where things go from there? Oh and do a smiley face. Smiley faces make everything pleasant!

schön, I am very sorry about your breakup. You must be going through a really hard time right now. I don't claim to understand your situation, but if there's one thing that's universal it's that time heals all wounds. It's okay to be sad right now, but find ways to make it end. Go out with your friends, read a book, take a bath, go for a jog--do something. Whatever you do, just don't feel sorry for yourself. Things suck right now, but there are people living on the corner of a street in India, living in filth, with no food or clean water--not even clothes. Things could be much worse--try to keep them in perespective. (Sorry if that was a bit harsh--I'm travelling in India right now

inneedofhelp, I don't want to serve you more what-if's when you already have a full plate, but could it be that you're afraid of commitment? (Well duh, you're a guy so you must be afraid a little), but subconsciously do you think it's possible you were trying to sabotage your relationship? Think about it, if you really wanted to, that would be an easy way to end things. You're the bad guy but you don't have to say anything other than you're sorry, and she is the one that leaves you... Of course, it's also just a possibility that you were just really really drunk and took whatever came your way! In either case, the fact that you're grieving about it shows that you're not a complete scumbag (you're still a scumbag for doing it, sorry I echo RayKay:

You're in a sticky situation, herewegoagain. I was in a similar situation a long time ago, although my "girlfriend" and I weren't quite "together" (it was high school, go figure) and the other guy was her best friend's boyfriend (they had an actual title). It was the hardest thing to deal with because before the actual bomb dropped he used to show up everywhere we were, and I couldn't really object because he was her bestfriend's boyfriend--they're supposed to be *safe*. And when it actually happened I felt like the biggest fool ever. In any case, I wish there were an easier way to do it but there really isn't. The point anon made is absolutely right, no foundation = no future. "Relationships" made like that almost never last. Until something like that happens (and it will), take solace in knowing this: I got an email from her a couple of years later saying how sorry she was for what she did to me and how it all came back to her (because their relationship was always rocky and finally ended in the guy doing the same thing to her)... There is some justice in the universe afterall! ...just make sure you're not the *best friend* she comes and cries on the shoulder of, because there is an excellent chance that that could lead to the whole thing happenning again. Good luck!