Jotech

Lily, I was like you too. Nothing helped. Finally, I told my dr. about my problem and he suggested Xanax. From the moment I took it, all my anxiety, chest pains, blackouts, etc., went away. Sometimes, meds help. It did for me. Hope this helps, Lil.

First off, thanks to all who replied. Explaining our situation more thoroghly now. As I said, not seeing her much for the last 5 years because of our work conflicts, I took it upon myself to confide in a female friend that I've known for quite some time. I know her as I come in contact with her on my job. I would visit her at her home and we would discuss each others woes. We would email each other now and then. One day, my wife spotted the email from my friend. This obviously was the straw that broke the camel's back. I explained that there was no physical contact between us and that we only consoled one another, which was the truth. My wife took this very hard and this put her through the agony which I guess I'm going through now. She said she believes me, but deep down, I think she suspects that we were lovers. I can't blame her as I would feel quite the same. As time went by, the pain she had subsided and we decided to reconcile. Things went allright for a while, but I could tell it wasn't the same. A violent screaming match erupted between my son and I and this set her off again. The next day she told me she is filing for divorce and soon after she left me. Well, there you have it, I brought you the "rest of the story". I still love her immensely and wish I had never confided in my friend, but it happened and I can't change that. I guess we must talk to one another, if she's willing. I will suggest counseling if it will help. Again, thanks to all for your help on this matter. John

My wife and I have been married for over 30 years. 5 years ago, she got a job working from 3 to 11 seven days a week. She did this to help financially. I appreciated this, but with my job, we hardly came in contact with one another. We also have a 20 year old son living at home. He is unemployed, but always says he has a job. He contributes "zero" on the homefront. When I confront him about helping out, we usually get into a loud shouting match .......sometimes making contact with each other. My wife usually takes his side in these confrontations, which irks the hell out of me. Recently, things came to a head. She has told me she is filing for a divorce. The state I was in, I did not object. We agreed to a no-fault divorce. We sat down and discussed who gets what and agreed to keep it friendly. She found a lawyer and I will be served papers soon. She has moved out and said she is living with one of her female co-workers, leaving me alone with my son. It has been just over 2 weeks since she left and I find myself actually missing her. We talk on the phone and I tell her I don't want the divorce to happen, but she tells me she has changed. It seems as though she has made up her mind about this. My stomach is churning constantly and she is always on my mind. I find myself taking off work because I can't function properly. Is there anyway that I might try to win her back? We have not spoken about counseling. I think it's beyond that. As far as outside influence on her, I'm sure she is getting plenty of advice from her co-workers. I on the other hand have only told a select few of what's going on. Anyone, please give me some advice on how to stop this divorce. I don't know if I can handle life without her. I have told her I love her many times since she left. She only responds with an "I know" . Thanks, Jotech (John)