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ocean9

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Everything posted by ocean9

  1. ocean9
    Thanks people. Ya, I've got to wait for her to call. I have to trust her to do what she says she will do. Do you think it is possible that she is testing me to see what I will do?
  2. ocean9
    He may have said that he wanted to be friends, but his actions say otherwise. Friends don't ignore one another. It's over for him. He doesn't want your friendship for whatever reason. Often people say the 'lets be friends' thing, but they don't really mean it. It's a cop out. It is time to stop initiating contact with this guy.
  3. ocean9
    I think she might be on the verge of breaking up with me, and I don't want that to happen. Any advice would be great!
  4. ocean9
    The girl I've been seeing is pulling away. She doesn't email or call as often, and she has cancelled a couple of dates. The last time I called her, she said she would call me later this week. I'm thinking she'll call by Thursday maybe. Should I give her space, not initiate any contact, and see if she comes around? Shoud I pursue her more? I think I may have been 'too interested' at first, and I may have turned her off a little.
  5. ocean9
    From reading your post, I think you already know the answer...go for the new love interest!!!
  6. ocean9
    falloutboy, Why not just go with the flow of life? You don't have to figure this stuff all out right now. If you are open, experiences will come your way. I have always found that hanging out at cafes is a great way to meet new people. Go to places, events, bookstores, and so on that you enjoy, and you will meet like-minded people.
  7. ocean9
    Hey fallout, How are you doing?
  8. ocean9
    I agree that he already knows he acted like a jerk. If you really don't know what to do, why not just let the whole thing go for awhile? Maybe you just aren't ready to communicate with him in any form yet. Maybe all you really needed to do was to write that letter for yourself. You are going to have to give yourself closure.
  9. ocean9
    Why does your psyc. want you to send the letter? For what reason(s)? I've never heard of such a recommendation before. I think that writing the letter is therapeutic and healing...but sending it? How can actually sending this letter benefit you...or him?
  10. ocean9
    Bruce, Who knows why she really called? I think that because she didn't follow through with another call, she may have changed her mind about seeing you. Maybe she called to see if you were still interested in her? Are you? Do you want this woman back in your life? Do you want to be her friend? Only you know what you really want at this point. The next time she calls, ask her for her phone number...see how that goes. You will know from her reaction whether or not she wants to actually be friends. If she won't give you her number, that's a huge red flag. Don't let her have all the control, that's not healthy or balanced. It's not cool if she can call you, but you can't call her. I think that's really weird actually. NC works both ways. I think the whole thing about having some of your stuff or whatever is just an excuse...if she seriously wanted to return your stuff to you, she would have by now. She may have wanted to hear your voice. She might be missing you. There is no way to know, unless you ask her directly...and if you asked her directly ("why are you calling me?") she might feel put on the spot, and she might not be honest. Good luck man! Keep us posted!
  11. ocean9
    I agree...stay away from email and texting...there's such a high risk of misunderstanding, assuming, miscommunicating and so on. Talk on the phone, or in person. I would call within three days.
  12. ocean9
    sorry to say this...but I think she may have wanted to see if you were still interested...with no intention of actually exploring it
  13. ocean9
    Yes!!! I had that feeling more than a few times when she and I talked!!! It was like my brain knew it was getting played with...but the rest of my body had to catch up! It must really suck that she is dating a friend of yours! Yikes! I rented a comedy tonite to cheer myself up, and irony of all irony, one of the characters had her name! (not a common name either!) I didn't know this when I rented it. Just what I needed, another freakin' reminder!
  14. ocean9
    If you know that she played games before, be careful...be very careful. Don't call her. Don't play this little game of hers. If she is interested enough, she'll call. It is up to you to decide how long you are willing to wait to hear from her. I suggest getting on with your life in the meantime. Don't focus all of your energy on her. Get out there and have some fun with people who want to spend time with you and who have the respect and decency to return a phone call!
  15. ocean9
    I think that going to the movies on the first date is not a good choice, because there is so little conversation. Next time go for lunch or coffee first, and get to know the woman a little more to see if you are compatible. Ask her questions, listen to her, smile, laugh, etc. Save the evening dates for when you know a woman a little better. Take it slower...but not too slow. You might discover that you don't want to see the woman again! It is really important that the date can include conversation...maybe that's what the problem is?
  16. ocean9
    S4il, How long did it take you to get over her?
  17. ocean9
    I never thought of that actually...although I think she may have used me for positive attention and emotional support. She may have just wanted attention from someone who cared. I don't think I will ever know what she really wanted from me.
  18. ocean9
    Thanks for the replies! There is probably nothing I can do. Chances are she is in a really bad relationship, and it's up to her to end it. I know that I have to move on. All the wishes in the world aren't going to change a thing! I guess all I can do is go with the flow of life! The next time I see her I will ask her how she is doing. If she wants to tell me the truth, the door will be open. I really do care about her, and I want her to be happy in her life.
  19. ocean9
    Long story short, she gave me her number, I called, we talked a few times, it was nice. When I asked to get together (I didn't want to always be on the phone) she pulled away and said she was 'too busy'. I felt played. I let it go. A year later, we kept running into one another. I thought it was some sort of sign from the universe, and I chose to call her, because I still felt attracted to her, and I believed on some level that she really was 'too busy' before (she is a workaholic type). We had some amazing conversations, and everything seemed to be going really well this time. She said she was single. I was glad I called. Then suddenly, she went cold. She stopped returning calls, the typical stuff. I let it go. I ran into her, and I talked with her...again she said she is too busy, and that our needs are different (what a cheap line)...plus, get this, she wasn't single, she never left the guy! About a month passed, and I just recently ran into her again. I was polite and friendly, nothing more, but I felt embarrassed to have to face her yet again. I feel embarrassed about the whole thing actually. I was a fool for her beauty and charm (she was sooo sweet and attentive on the phone, she said all the right things, but her actions did not match her words, and she lied about being available). Lesson learned. Anyway, I am going to run into her again and again because we live close to one another. I am still physically attracted to her, and I'm certain it is written all over my face. I realize she is not relationship material, and that I need to let this all go. She is the typical player, female version. Should I just ignore her when I see her? Has anyone else been through anything like this? How did you get over it? Thanks people!
  20. ocean9
    Ouch! Have you talked to him yet? Personally, I'd move on.
  21. ocean9
    If you don't want them to call you, don't give them your number. Instead, get their numbers, and call them when (if) you want to see them. Slow it down a little with these guys. Play it safe.
  22. ocean9
    Email is not a good idea. Seriously, she can type anything, and there is no way for you to know if she is being honest or if she is playing some sick game. When you are ready to talk, I suggest that you insist on a face-to-face conversation. Eye contact, body language, tone of voice is ESSENTIAL when communicating on a heart to heart level. I got seriously screwed over through the use of email, and so have my friends, that is why I don't recommend it at all. Good luck with no contact!
  23. ocean9
    She might think that having sex too soon would ruin a good thing. Try to think positive! She might be taking it slow because she might think there is real potential with you. Seriously, don't assume. Talk to her...don't go seeking information behind her back.
  24. ocean9
    Do you like him? Is that why you are wondering? Be open about the fact that you are gay, and maybe he will open up to you. Good luck!
  25. ocean9
    If it is hurting you to hang out with them, don't do it! Take care of yourself. Maybe hang out with your other friends for a while. You don't have to say anything to either of them unless you want to. You don't need to explain yourself or justify your decision to them.
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