ocean9
-
Posts
264 -
Joined
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by ocean9
-
If you read my other posts, they all start with "she's pulling away" and you'll get my story there. Thanks for your time.
-
We were dating for months. She's been pulling away lately, and I was worried she was going to stop dating me. We are not officially a couple. She is interested in another guy. She asked to meet with me to talk, and then she cancelled.
-
She called me and cancelled. Now what?
-
Please give me some kind of hope or support.....
ocean9 replied to sweetsparkle's topic in Breaking Up Advice
I wish you strength, peace, and happiness. Whatever happens, know that you are worthy of love, and that what is meant to be yours, will be yours. -
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to offer their opinion and advice. I appreciate this so much! I feel grateful to you! Today she emailed me and asked to meet with me tomorrow. The tone of her email was friendly, and she wrote "I love you". I responded to her email and agreed to meet with her. I am feeing so incredibly nervous! I am thinking that I should keep it light, and make sure she really enjoys her time with me, remind her of why she is dating me in the first place, rather than having any heavy discussions about us. ALL advice is most welcome, and again, thank you for taking the time to help me out! Best wishes for peace and happiness to everyone who reads this!
-
We see each other only once or twice a week. There actually weren't many opportunities for much intimacy due to work schedules unfortunately. We see each other during the day when we can fit it in. We have spent time with other friends too, and nothing could really happen with other people around. She is a bit of a workaholic, and has hardly any free time. A lot of our communication was through email and phone calls, which I regret now! She said she wasn't ready for sex, I believed her, and I was respecting her. I don't think she could have possibly felt 'strung' along. I honored her wishes completely. Ya, we've got to talk. Maybe she was never interested enough, and I have been on the back burner all along?
-
ticklebug, We don't see each other very often due to work and so forth. Neither one of us were interested in things progressing quickly. We've both been burned before, and were feeling cautious. We went really slowly for a few months. The intimacy built up really slowly. I am VERY concerned about getting more emotionally invested. I know that if the physical activity continues, I'll get more and more attached. I have to talk to her about that. We haven't slept together yet. Like I said, we are taking things really slowly. Maybe I'm going too slow? I'm sort of old fashioned. I want to be sure that there is a strong committment before I give myself to her completely. Does it sound like she is stringing me along? I think she may genuinely need to play the field. I'm going to ask her tomorrow. I need to know what she expects from me, because I may not be able to give her what she wants. If she wants me to always be on the back burner, that just won't work for me. I don't think I could date several people at once. I've never really tried though, so I don't know.
-
We've been dating for months. We both say we love each other all the time. We are officially a couple. We both agreed to take it slow. I never thought of dating other women. I think I might have to do that so that I'm not putting all my eggs into one basket. I'm not really interested in anyone else though. I should probably get out there and meet other people too! Thanks.
-
Do you think that maybe she has bpd (borderline personality disorder). You may want to research it, because she sounds like she may be struggling with this...especially in terms of the self-mutilation.
-
lil_shank, Ya, hopefully I'll find out more tomorrow. ksko, I am concerned that I am being used for emotional support...like a friends with benefits thing. I appreciate the directness actually, thanks!
-
Well, I discovered that she is seeing someone else. A friend of mine saw them together. I called her, and we talked. I was completely non-confrontational. She is feeling 'torn' and 'conflicted'. She says that she loves me, but she has feelings for him too. She wants to continue to see me while she gets to know him. She said that she doesn't want to lose me. I told her that I don't want to lose her, and that I love her dearly. She said that she would call tomorrow, and we could talk some more (meanwhile, she is with him tonite!) We are dating, we are not a couple, so she is not 'cheating' per se. Should I keep dating her? I don't know if I can handle this. I can understand that she wants to make sure she is choosing the right person, but sheesh, the emotional cost to me looks rather daunting! How many other people will she date??? Any advice people? Thanks to all of you who have helped so far!
-
LMAO!
-
Yep...no kidding. I'd rather post than sit around obsessing about why she isn't calling me. LOL!
-
Well, it looks like she's just not that into you. LOL! I wouldn't worry about it, just let it go. Hey, it could be so much worse! Try to see it as a learning opportunity. Obviously you are a guy who needs consistency. If you want a woman who is more consistent, then hold out for her. She's out there!
-
Well, it looks like she's just not that into you. LOL! I wouldn't worry about it, just let it go. Hey, it could be so much worse! Try to see it as a learning opportunity. Obviously you are a guy who needs consistency. If you want a woman who is more consistent, then hold out for her. She's out there!
-
Cool!
-
I agree. Be direct. Don't wast time with wishful thinking and so forth. Just go for it!
-
I suggest that rather than give them your number, ask for theirs. A lot of women won't call a guy.
-
It may not seem like it right now, but I think that was a blessing in disguise. In time, you will look back at this, and be thankful you didn't slip backwards on your healing journey.
-
Me too. It's a really hard pattern to get out of. It is so easy to get sucked back in to no-win situations. We are super easy to manipulate too...and I think the manipulative types can spot us a mile off! Don't settle for crumbs!
-
You have to do what is right for you, and ultimately only you know what that is. You seem to be well aware of how emotionally damaging re-connecting with her will be. You might end up feeling worse than you do now though, which you might want to keep in mind.
-
I think that face 2 face is essential. Online people can say anything. It is really easy to develop feelings for someone's online persona, if you know what I mean. You've got to get together ASAP to really feel out the situation. I suggest that you ask to meet the woman after talking through email 2 or 3 times...just for coffee, something really casual, with very little pressure. If she doesn't want to meet, then you know she is not serious enough about getting to know you. Good luck!
-
I don't suspect an affair, but it is possible that she has met another guy. That happens sometimes. We've been seeing each other since the summer. I wish that she would be upfront with me. I can't imagine just pulling away from someone with no explanation. I would NEVER do that to her. It seems really immature to me. When she does call, I plan on listening carefully to what she says. I think I have to guard my heart a little bit now. She never struck me as the 'push/pull' type, so her behavior has me wondering what the heck is going on. She came on really strong at first too. She would email 3 or 4 times a day quite often. It just seems so bizarre. I know I'm over-analyzing the whole thing, but I think I have to prepare myself for anything at this point.
-
It sounds like you care a great deal for this woman, and she doesn't seem to appreciate it consistently. There is no balance there, and you will get hurt repeatedly. I know how hard it is to close the door, but sometimes it is about self-preservation. Deep down, what do you think you should do?
-
Hey Mentor, I have been preparing myself for the worst for the last few days. I'm not going to contact her. It seems pretty textbook to me as well. I know it could be the stress of the holidays, but then again, this is a time when people usually want to be with the people they care about. It's the 'ol actions speak louder than words thing, isn't it?