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ocean9

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Everything posted by ocean9

  1. ocean9
    yep...it worked! LOL!
  2. ocean9
    Exactly! I can imagine how she may have sounded, but I could be way off. There is no way at all to know if her words mean anything to her! I think that might be why some people choose to use email in the first place, because they can hide behind their computer screens and say whatever the heck seems like the 'right' thing to say! It really BUGS me big time! She knows how I feel about email too, we've talked about it lots of time, and still she continues to rely heavily on it. With email, and texting and all that, it is so easy to project emotions into a message that are NOT even there. It is easy to think people care much more than they really do!
  3. ocean9
    you press "quote" at the beginning...then paste the words...then press "quote" again
  4. ocean9
    I responded to your other post. That must be hard to be treated like that by a so-called friend!
  5. ocean9
    amanda, It really sucks that he is not into your offer of friendship. Some guys just say that, but they really don't mean it at all. If you leave the present on the doorstep after he already clearly said 'no thanks' he might accuse you of being a stalker, which could totally ruin your reputation. As much as it hurts, and I know it does, don't give him the gift. Maybe you could donate it to a woman's shelter or a homeless shelter or something like that...someone out there would love to receive a present this weekend...and it would be great karma for you!
  6. ocean9
    Call her. Show her the respect she deserves. Don't ask her out through email, that is really super cheezy!
  7. ocean9
    hey amanda...email is like "conflict avoidance 101" LOL!
  8. ocean9
    amanda, Ya, time away will bring some clarity. Email is very impersonal. How do I even know that what she types is real for her. It could all be a bunch of bs. I think her actions are speaking way more loudly than her words lately...and I don't like what I've been hearing! hockeyboy, Maybe I've been 'too available'. Either she respects me or she doesn't though. I think I've been far too easy going, and she is taking me for granted because of that. I think that 'space' will maybe wake her up a bit...or not. It really depends on how much she ACTUALLY cares about me. We'll both find out soon enough, huh?
  9. ocean9
    Thanks Amanda. She's bugging me too! It's like she isn't even considering my feelings in all of this, only her own. I think it was immature to send an email, why not just pick up the phone and apologize? I just don't get it! I deserved a phone call and an explanation at the very least. Ya, I'm proud of myself too for not respoding to her email. It was hard, but I think it was the right thing. I've got to get some of my dignity back! I've got this woman's footprints all over my back! Hey hockeyboy, I'll be around. We can help each other get through this!
  10. ocean9
    do you think that'll work?
  11. ocean9
    I agree with the others. Take it slow. You may actually not want her back if she has changed too much. So far, so good though! Good luck! Happy Holidays!
  12. ocean9
    Hello everyone. She emailed me today. She said she is really stressed out. Her family is coming for the weekend, the whole Christmas thing and all. She wants to see me next week. She asked me what I was doing this weekend. She said she would call me when they leave. (why can't she call me when they are there?) I don't even know what to think at this point! I'm like, huh? wtf? Suddenly everything is okay again? My head is spinning. I didn't reply to her email. I didn't call her today. I am trying to just be with my thoughts and feelings. I don't know what to make of her inconsistency at all.
  13. ocean9
    I would love to talk with her...the thing is she cancelled...so there's nothing I can do tonite about this. It is pretty obvious to me that I am doing all of the work, and that is not healthy for me, or for her for that matter. I am going to try not to call her tomorrow. I may be here posting a lot to deal with this! I figure I'm better off posting here than making a fool out of myself.
  14. ocean9
    The truth is hard to hear, but I do need to hear it. If this is over for her, I need to hear the words. Is that too much to ask? What do I do with all of her stuff that is here, and all of the stuff she gave to me? I'm sitting here surrounded with memories.
  15. ocean9
    I don't think she was just playing because I think she gave way more than a player would. Players don't give things to people, do they?
  16. ocean9
    Yes, that would hurt a lot too. Maybe it would hurt more. I think I am way too emotional right now to make any sort of wise decision. Her behavior as of late just doesn't seem completely normal to me. Maybe I am over-reacting or over-analyzing because I am in emotional pain. Ya, she doesn't seem ready to settle. There is no way for me to know the real reasons behind her behavior. She was going to talk with me, then she cancelled...so I've been left hanging, left to wonder what is going on, left to wonder how she is feeling and what she is thinking. That doesn't seem like very loving behavior to me. Maybe she isn't ready for any type of mature relationship at this time...and I would just be banging my head against the wall again and again.
  17. ocean9
    ticklebug, Do you think that there is anything I can do? I feel so completely helpless in this situation. Is she going to just keep pulling away time and time again? I don't want anyone else. I want to be with her. I am hurting so much...I know that I am in love with this woman. I recognize that her behavior isn't mature right now...but what if she is freaking out because of the intimacy? I didn't see this coming. I honestly thought and believed that she needed to go slow. I would have kept going slow for her. That she is turning to someone else is really hurting me, and I am doubting if she really does love me, or if she even knows what mature love is? If I leave her alone for awhile, will she come around?
  18. ocean9
    Thanks for the support people. I am very appreciative. I cannot let myself call or email her. I have to find some inner strength. Thanks for helping me. It means a lot.
  19. ocean9
    I wouldn't even be able to face her to end this. One look in her eyes, and I'm a goner...and she knows it too.
  20. ocean9
    ya...but it hurts so much. I just keep crying over all of this. I am ready for a relationship. I don't need to date someone for months on end before getting closer. Do you think she is playing games? Could a woman be so cruel?Sometimes I think that she might be messed up emotionally or something. I know that I don't want to talk to her right now. I am feeling so hurt and so confused. I can't think straight. My heart is battling with my mind. I would never play with someone's feelings. I am having such a hard time with this.
  21. ocean9
    Geeez....this is really eating me up! This woman has given me cards, love letters, sent countless emails, gifts, introduced me to her mother, and I've done the same. She has given me more than I've given her actually. Often I was just trying to keep up to her! It all moved so quickly. She insisted that we were just getting to know each other, but in reality, in many ways we were already acting like a couple. The reality is, we were a couple...but we were not having sex. Isn't that just really weird. She kept telling me she wasn't ready for sex yet (I was!!!) She said "I love you" so often. In a hour, she would say it 10 times! I didn't always say it back, because it seemed rather obsessive to me. I said it often enough though, and I said it first sometimes too. We would like in bed for hours, just cuddling and kissing and professing our love for one another. How could she just pull away? Why would she even want to date another man? I'm hurting so much. I miss her.
  22. ocean9
    I think that just may be the reality of the situation. I am settling for less than I deserve, and I shouldn't be doing that. If it was a buddy of mine in my situation, I'd think he should dump her...the writing is on the wall...yet I have such a hard time seeing my own situation objectively like that.
  23. ocean9
    Thanks Amanda. You are younger than she is, and you sound so much more mature! I think we have been casually dating for too long, and that we should take it to the next level, but that doesn't seem to be what she wants with me. I wouldn't feel right dating a new woman, it wouldn't be fair to the new woman. I guess I'm old fashioned. LOL. It's like that book, she's just not that into me! Harsh.
  24. ocean9
    She said she had to work a few extra hours at work, and would be "too tired" to get together BUT she knew about this yesterday (the extra work) when she asked to meet with me. It just doesn't wash somehow. I think the real reason is because something "better" came up. I have to agree there. I am not seeing any real effort on her part. I'm not the type to cancel on someone, and if I absolutely have to, I make up for it big time. She didn't even suggest alternate plans. She just sort of blew me off. It was like I was supposed to just be cool with it. I feel like a chump. I was so quick to accept her invitation. I assumed she wouldn't cancel! She has cancelled in the past, I should have known she might cancel. Damn. Ya...her behavior has been really flaky lately. I'm starting to think that she has no clue as to what she really wants. She was so into me at first, so intense. I just don't get it. You may be right, she may not be good relationship material at all.
  25. ocean9
    I keep wondering if she cancelled with me because he asked her out? What can I do? I don't want to come off as desperate.
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