Hannibal

This girl is doing the same crap to you that my ex did. "its not cheating because there are no feelings involved" is what she said. I told her to stick that where the sun didn't shine because its a load of crap. If she can take a bath with another girl, well then why can't you aswell? I promise if you tried to do this she would freak out and you'd be the cheater. In my books, cheating is anything that you do that you know your partner wouldn't be comfortable with you doing. I'm sure that you're not comfortable with you girl taking baths with another girl and I would call this cheating! Seriously think of what would happen if you tried to do what she does. Do you think she would be perfectly ok with it? I highly doubt it. However she's getting away with it because its with another girl and they were "just being 'girly' and 'acting like little kids'" I would be extremely angry if I were you.

I believe in clinical depression. I deal with it because I have it. You know what? Your mind has the power to make you feel extremely crappy but it also has the power to make you extremely happy. There are lots of things that you can do to battle with depression. You just need to find that reason to do it.... and i know its hard when you're depressed but it can be done.

Thats exactly what I'm talking about! And the road out of "suicidal-feelings-land" can be a long one (it was for me anyways) but don't worry, you'll find your way out in due time. I found that offering my advice really aided me in getting away from that land as it forced me to really look at what I went through and why I went through what I did in order to give advice that I thought would have helped me when I was feeling poopy.

Again whats wrong with being lost in your own thoughts? I spend the majority of my day in my head and I see nothing wrong with that. Everyone thinks about themselves a hell of a lot. Its only natural to think about yourself quite a bit, you do live with yourself most of the time right? As for the projecting yourself as how you want to be seen by others bit. Just try being yourself, don't worry what other people think about you. At the end of the day it doesn't really matter what the hell other people think about you, just what you think of yourself. I can't remember who said this, or the quote exactly but it went something like A bad conversationalist is someone who talks about themselves A good conversationalist is someone who talks about an idea A great conversationalist is someone who talks about you.

I've been around for a quite a while. I've seen a lot of things on this forum. I've even been through a few suicidial times myself. Many people helped my through my tough times, both people on here and very close personal friends. I've always held all the advice I get close to my heart and never forget what people have done for me. Now I find myself in a very good place in my life and remembering what was said to me and done for me when I was down. That always makes me want to "pay it forward" I guess. So anyways enough with the rambling.... What I'm really trying to get out is that there is a lot of people that come through these forums needing help and suicide is a very difficult thing to deal with. What I ask of those people who come here for help, is that when you begin to feel better (I know, given time you will) and things start to look up in your life that you remember what others have done for you and try and "pay it forward." Once you get through this you'll be amazingly equiped to help someone else in a similar situation because you've already been taught by the best teacher of all.

Once again I didn't read the whole post just the first few messages. I agree totally with the first one. However in regards to a bad day everyday.... Having a bad day is all in your mindset. I found that when I was really depressed I didn't laugh very much at what happened during my day. Now that I'm feeling better I find myself laughing at a lot of things that I see during my days, I actually have a lot of fun just going through my day.

I just read your most recent post. In it you said you would much rather be dead..... Tell me, what is so great about being dead? Dead people seem pretty boring to me.

I didn't read through the entirety of your post. However the major points I extracted were that you got hurt by a girl and you're out of a job. Well the simple solution to the no job part is to get out there, put in applications and find a job. You're not going to find one if you don't look. As for the girl I recently got dumped by a girl who cheated on me, with another none the less. Then she went out with this guy who she left me for and her and i continued to sleep together for quite a while. I went through all the crap that comes with everything that happened. I did miss her for a while, but once I finally cut her out of my life she found her way into my head less and less until i realized one day I hadn't even thought of her in 3 days. Now I have finally realized that she was no good and I'm actually quite glad to be rid of her. Looking back she was just a pain in my side anyways. So what I'm trying to tell you is that what ever is wrong is only temporary. In time you'll find a job and a better girl and forget all about the no good one. Just try not to force anything to quickly, let yourself heal at a normal pace. Suicide is a very permanent "solution" to these temporary problems. My younger brothers friend took his own life almost a year ago now and I often find myself wondering what his last thought was as he hung himself. I promise you that it was something along the lines of "What the hell am I doing? I can't come back from this." By then it was already to late. If you want to talk about it some more then send me a private message. I've been through the works my friend and let me tell you, it does get better.

I ask you this... Whats wrong with going to bed alone? Theres no one to kick you in the night, steal your sheets, snore, make it to hot in the bed. The list goes on. As for dealing with the loneliness Why is it so imperative that you get into a relationship? That wont solve any of these problems that you speak of. You need to be happy being on your own before you can ever hope to be happy in a relationship. Next time you're out for a walk, stop and smell the flowers. Doing that simple act has helped me tremendously when ever I'm feeling bad. It really opens your eyes to all the beauty there is in the world. Learn to enjoy it my friend.

Whats wrong with thinking about yourself? If you want to take your mind off of yourself try volunteering and helping other people maybe? And don't forget there is nothing wrong with being single! Just sit back, relax and enjoy what life has to offer you. Take it all in and love will find its way to you.

I get that a lot acutally. Mine varies from very rapid twitching on my bottom right eyelid to exactly what you described about the heartbeat type of feeling. I wouldn't be to concerned about this at all. Its just a muscle spasim and lots of people get them. Ask your parents if they've ever felt the same thing, chances are they have!

Today was really tough. I couldn't wait to get away from all the people around me. I couldn't even make eye contact with people i didnt know. I feel so dirty and empty inside..... Is that how you felt aswell? Please post more advice if anyone has any!

ok so my ex and i broke up about 3 months ago. She started to date another guy soon after and we continued to sleep together. That was hard enough. Anyways today I went to her place and we ended up in bed again. Then we went to campus and she texted me saying she forgot something at her place and asking if i could go get it for her. So I did. Then I saw some pictures on her computer from a time when we were together but she was in another city. The pictures were of her kissing another girl. This had happened before and I told her that I considered that cheating and wasn't very happy. It sounded like she understood what i was talking about. Now however after seeing those pictures I feel like the whole relationship has a taint on it. To top it all off the guy that she is seeing (he is the reason we broke up) was most likely the one with the camera. Anyways so I feel completely crushed. I was wondering if there was anyone out there who has been cheated on and what advice they could give me for dealing with this? Please share.... I really need some advice here.

I didn't read all the posts but I'll tell you one thing. I'm coming from the exact same place as you are. I couldn't sleep for 3 whole months and I'd wake up feeling so terrible because I'd be waking up from a nightmare and thinking about my ex. Well I thought it would never end either but then a couple of days ago I woke up and felt great. It was so nice to feel that way again. So trust me it will get better, it'll just happen on its own.

Today for the first time in three months (and i mean a solid three months) I got a decent sleep. I woke up from a happy dream of an engagement to someone other than my ex instead of a terrible and very violent nightmare. Let me tell you I felt like a million bucks. I forgot how good it feels to wake up normally rather then with tears streaming down your face and sweat pouring off your body. Unfortunately my friend is just going through a break up right now with his girl. I can't help but wonder if maybe waking up today feeling ok was a way to help my friend. I'm kind of intoxicated right now so please forgive my rambling.

I've done all that aswell. Let me tell you after burning her break up letter I felt like a million bucks. For some reason though I still come down from those highs, and I seem to slip right past normal into depressed. And that goretex thing made me laugh. All I thought about was George on Seinfeld.

A good friend of mine told me last night that I need to let go. I agreed with her but I really dont quite understand what letting go exactly entails. could anyone add some specifics of maybe what they think letting go is and how they came about doing so?

Ok well its been about 3 months since we broke up. She left me for another guy more or less and they're together now. I have yet to have one good nights sleep since we broke up. Everyday I wake up sweating and really really upset. It takes me about 20 minutes to finally calm down from this, sometimes it ends in me crying. I feel so helpless, I can't do anything but think of her and how we were. Its destroying me and I just want it to end. I'm so sick of having my life be in a complet mess over this and I really don't see a way that I can change things as they are generally out of my control. I do get out and go to the gym and all that stuff. It makes me feel physically good but my mind is still a terrible terrible mess. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm fighting a battle that I can never win and its ripping me up inside. Any advice for someone who desperately needs some?

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. EVERYONE loves to talk about themselves. Not just some people but everyone. The best thing to do on a date is to ask them a lot of questions about themselves, nothing creepy, just something to get them talking about themselves. Honestly you'll be surprised at where the convo will lead to. In doing so you also learn about them, show them that you're interested in their life and most importantly find out very quickly what you have in common!

I think that they only made you feel like you were on cloud nine because they unleashed something from within you. You have that capability all on your own, the only thing that you need to do is learn how to get it out yourself!

Letting go isn't something you can really force yourself to do. I've learned that the hard way. You can't force yourself to get over someone, this will only make you rebound back into those old feelings and left you at the same point at which you started. For starters I would say you should try to adress the reasons why you two broke up. If you're still a little hazy on this subject then you still need some closure. If that's the case then you need to talk to her and get some answers for yourself. Once you have all the answers you should find it easier to actually deal with what has happened. You will start to fully realize that it's over. It took my a while to get to this point but let me tell you once I did then my road to recovery seemed a lot shorter. Secondly learn to forgive yourself and her. This was a big issue with me because for a while after my break up I felt like I was the reason that we broke up and I beat myself up over it every second of everyday. Once I learned that I may have been the reason but all in all it wasn't 100% my fault I began to forgive myself and her at the same time. Lastly the thing that finally pushed me over the edge of recovery was the fact that being away from her didn't feel so bad anymore. I still missed her yes, but began to realize that just maybe I could do things on my own pretty damn well. I don't need her for the things I thought I did, I'm perfectly happy and capable on my own. Also in doing this I started to see that it wasn't a loss to me (losing her) but in fact it was the other way around. She made a mistake in letting me go, its totally her loss. Especially because there is another guy involved. Realizing this for myself and also the fact that despite the fact that she is with a new guy she still calls me telling me things that she really shouldn't really helped me on my way back to normalicy. I really hope that this helps. While I can't tell you how to get over her what I can tell you is the stages that I went through as I moved away and onward from my recent ex. I hope that if you go through these same stages you can recognize them for yourself and in doing so you may just launch yourself into another stage. Good luck!

I read somewhere that a good thing to do when you start to think of your ex in terms of things like "oh those are the cookies she loved" or "oh she really loves this show" is to realize that your ex is not the only person who likes or does those things. There are millions of people around the world who eat the same cookies as your ex and there are lots of people who like that same band that you two like.

Well some of you may know and some may not, but either way I feel like I should share my experience with suicide on here. I dated this girl in highschool and we fell head over heals for eachother. Then all of the sudden one night she tells me that she was leaving to go out with her old boyfriend. I was completely crushed by this. After this I fell into a deep cycle of depression. I was stressed out over school and feeling really crappy over the whole girl thing. I decided that it would be a good idea to take my own life, end my pain and get out of this world. I planned the day of my death down to the very minute. I felt really good after I had finally made the plans and decided to go through with them. Then something really weird happened. A random person online messaged me on msn after reading my online diary, in which I had hinted at the fact that I was going to take my life. She slowly learned that I was going to kill myself and in doing so found out where I lived. She then contacted the school board in my city which later got back to me in my highschool. I got called down to the councilor's office to talk about this and he said that he had to call my family and let them know about what was going on. He told her everything and then let me talk to her. I picked up the phone and all I heard was her crying. That was all it took, a very big real dose of the pain I would cause the people close to me if I killed myself. I changed my mind and decided to stick around for a while to see where life would take me, not so much for me but for my mother. It's been almost two years now since that all happened and I've learned a lot since then. I never thought about the after effects of picking my day to die. There were lots of times when I felt like I was living on borrowed time but as the days past I began to feel that I've earned the right to live and no stupid SOB is going to take that away from me, including myself. I've learned a lot about how to deal with the hard knocks life throws at me and how things are never worth ending my life over. Sure there were lots of times where I just wanted to jump out my window and end it all. However I got through those times and am really glad that I did. Someone pointed out to me that if something goes wrong in my life it is always fixable, problems are never forever so why would I make a choice to end my life over them? Ending my life is forever. I don't really know why I felt like posting this, I just clicked on the forum and felt the urge to share my story with everyone. I see so many people here going through many of lifes trials and they feel like things will never get better. I guess what I'm trying to say is that taking your life is not a very wise choice to make as things can and will get better as time goes on. If you're not around to see them then you'll never know that. Just think, wouldn't you rather live to see what might be then to die and know everything that can never be? That curiosity alone is what has kept me going through some tough times over the last two years. I hope that some of you read this and start to think about what I've said. It makes sense, you and I both know that. If anyone feels the need to talk about how they're feeling or ask some questions about how I've delt with things over the years, I look forward to getting a PM from you! Good luck to you my friends, the road ahead is a long one, filled with many twists and turns but trust me when I tell you its a road worth going down. There are so many wonderful things you'll see along the way.

Well if you know you're heading down the same road again why not stop the car, turn it around and head back the other way?

For me one of the best things to overcome first stage depression is to catch yourself when you're thinking in a negative cycle. I started to think that I had no purpose and my life was lost without her. Then once I caught myself and actually told myself out loud that I was free from her now and free to do what ever I pleased in my life. That really helped a lot. Also surrounding yourself with friends helps a lot, even if you dont talk about it. I always find myself laughing around my friends and that helps with the depression. I got back into going to the gym and that has a big impact on how I feel. Eating lots of fruits and veggies helps me feel a lot better aswell. I think that if you force your body into a healthy state then your mind will catch up sooner or later.