Hannibal

No touching, thats a huge sign that someone is flirting. Maybe try to find something on the subtle hints that we give off when we are flirting, like girls touch their hair a lot. Once you know these maybe you can recognize that you are doing these and catch yourself (if you are doing them at all). The subtle hints are what most people will pick up on and lead them to think that you are flirting, although they don't know it. Then again there are just some people who are completely oblivious to everything! In response to your first question, I would feel a lot better if I got turned down honestly than if I thought that she was making something up as an excuse.

Coming from me personally when I say a girl is cute that is meant as more of a compliment than her being hot. Cute is for sure a good thing!

Talk to him about it. This stuff puts a lot of pressure on a relationship and can lead to things falling apart. Tell him that you would like a future with him but are not ready to get married next year. Tell him that you just want to see where things go on their own.

Ok well really, all you need to do is to show her that you love her. If nothing comes of this at least you'll know that you gave it your all.

What went on between you two? Like what was the reason for the break up?

I felt this way aswell. You have to look at exactly what she did that made you over react. I found that I was not infact over reacting, the simple thing was that she made me feel like I was over reacting, when in reality I had every right to react the way I did.

So well said.

Printed that one out. Put it on my wall and will read it everytime I feel low. Very nicely put!

I've felt like this before, very recently actually. Try not to do it to yourself, it doesn't solve anything and it only makes you feel worse. After a break up you tend to only see the good things your ex did while you two were together. In reality she did do somethings that didn't make you to happy.

I honestly think that teens in this day and age are taking things a lot slower with love. Sure you fall into the lust phase of the relationship and the only thing you can think about is the other person. However this is far from love. They will soon realize this. Anyways if you think that teens now are moving fast, imagine that back when your grandparents were your age most if not all the people in their school would have been married as soon as they got out. Then it was baby making time. I once asked my grandma why everyone got married so young when she was my age, her reply was a shocker to me and it was that "everyone just wanted to have sex." Today extramarital sex is not such a big deal as it was back then. So no need to get married so quickly!

Thanks very much for all the replies! I've kind of moved into a different stage of things now. I starting to realize that maybe I don't want to be with her at all anymore. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Now I'm trying to deal with both the fact of losing her and also the fact that something that I was so sure I wanted is not what I want anymore. Kinda tough. Anyone with any relations to this is more than welcome to post their experiences.

Just out of curiosity, how are you supposed to know if the ex wants to come back if you wont talk to them?

Personally I don't think you should ever tell you SO if you've cheated/ are cheating on them. This is a very selfish thing to do. By telling your SO you are only trying to relieve the guilt that you have from doing this. You know what? If you were able to cheat you damn well better be ready to deal with the guilt on your own. I really hate it when I hear about people telling their SO that they've cheated because they felt that they owed it to them to be honest. Its such a crock. So in the end if you've cheated you should never tell your SO.

Thats what I want to do so bad. Is just break down and cry, but I have a really hard time actually getting the tears out.

I feel so low right now, lower than I did when we first broke up. I just want to completely break down so I can start to rebuild myself, but I can't get myself to do it. Any wise words?

I'm not saying that you should throw yourself at them. That is kinda scary. What you're doing is playing a game with them. People are not toys. How are you protecting yourself from getting hurt? YOU are the one who is dating two people at the same time and using "NC" as a way to find out which one likes you more. You're not attached to either one of them yet so the chances of you getting hurt are pretty slim. Also in "protecting" yourself from getting hurt you will end up hurting them.

Ok so today I've been thinking a lot about my ex. I realized that I'm actually sick of her being so unsure about me. I don't really want her back and am happy all by myself. However I still have this heavy feeling in my chest and feel kind of depressed. I have been going to the gym on a regular basis and seeing lots of friends. Anyone ever felt this way, when you know that you don't want your ex back, you're sick of the games and yet you still feel crapy? Any insight as to what's causing this and how to get rid of the sadness is more than welcome.

I didn't read all of these but I have to say that what you're doing is really not very nice. You just want to see which one will chase you around if you start to back off. No contact is made so that people can heal after a break up, not make someone they are dating chase after them. That is just playing head games with those guys. I don't think that is right at all.

I personally would not like this gift at all. For me just being with the person that I'm in a relationship with is more than good enough for me. Having a threesome would just mess everything up. I would talk to him about this. Make sure that you and him are both comfortable with sharing your love with another person.

I was out with some friends of mine tonight and was talking about the situation with my ex. They brought up some good points and really made me question myself. I found this very helpful to me, to be able to realize somethings for myself. I think that everyone that reads this should ask these questions to themselves, honestly think about them and then write down the answers. 1. Why do you want your ex back? Is it really them or is all you want back is the security a relationship gives you? 2. Would you ever be able to fully trust your ex again after they left you once? If you say yes right away, think about how much pain they've put you through already and think about how hard it would be the second go round. 3. Why are you chasing someone who left you already? 4. Do you think things would be perfect if you two got back together? There is more questions that I asked myself but can't seem to remember them right now. Anyways my answers 1. I honestly just miss having someone to hold and to love. The key word in that sentence is someone, not her just someone. Another girl will come along in due time. 2. I really don't think I would be able to fully trust her again after this. More importantly why should I? I don't owe her anything. 3. I guess it was more of a feeling like if I stopped chasing then maybe in her eyes my love wasn't real. You know what? I know my love is real, I don't need to chase after someone who left me to prove that. I have nothing to prove to her anymore, she made the choice to leave and thats her loss. 4. I really don't think they would be very good, if I can't trust her then a lot of fights will ensue. When ever she did something that was a bit off I know feelings of loosing her would come rusing back. So in the end after asking myself those questions I started to realize that maybe I don't want her back anymore. She chose to leave me for another guy and thats her loss, not mine. I'm choosing to share my love with someone who wants my love, not someone who takes it for granted and flees. How about the rest of you?

I like the analogy. I do have to disagree with you though, by not letting go I think that it does hurt you moreso than anything. That means that you obviously haven't moved past those feelings that you had for that person, which is hurtful towards you no matter which way you cut it. By letting it go you free yourself from that relationship and are able to jump wholeheartedly into the next relationship. Thats just me speaking from personal experience. Sure some people never talk to the ex again, thats normal. The reason why they don't is the question that should really be asked.

From the side of the dumpee, 1. Never do it in a public place, honestly its the worst thing you could do. 2. Let the dumpee ask all the questions they want, if you don't then you're not really being fair. 3. Be honest 4. Don't lead them on.

Let me ask two things. Why can't you let it go? and What good is it doing you by not letting it go?

I agree with the above post. If you're the dumpee you will think that your relationship never got a fair shot. When I reality it did and unfortunately things didn't work out the way that you hoped they would. The sooner that you come to the realization that your relationship got a fair shot, had its problems and was unable to move past those problems, the sooner you'll be able to start forgive both yourself and your ex and really move on.

Ok yeah theres a lot of posts here and I didnt really read all of them. However I must tell you that you did an excellent thing. Something I wish I would've done, telling her that you dont want to be just friends. That is honestly the best thing that you could've done in this situation. She took away something from you, the relationship, so what makes her think that you owe her a friendship? All that is is her keeping you around as a back up, something that she knows she can go back to. You don't have that comfort so it's only fair to take that away from her. She broke up with you, you don't her squat! Now to follow my own advice!