confused987

Are teens today rushing into love? One of my friends just started going out with her boyfriend.. today is their 2 week "anniversary" and they're already using the L word. He initiated it first, saying how much he loves her and telling her all of these things, and she's returned them, but it's making me think about how much adults flip out about the L word and how relaxed teens today are with using it. I don't even think they know what they're talking about, but they're really obsessed with each other, like, they call each other every day after school and always talk about each other. They've even planned out getting married after high school. She's known him for a few months, too, but I still don't agree with it. I think they're just too fast. What do you think?

It's funny you should say make it "OBVIOUS without straight out saying an awkward "I like you"" because just last night, I spent 4 hours on the phone with someone who I really like (and it's mutual) and I finally just said "Oh, hell-- I really like you!" and that was sort of awkward, but it got everything out on the table, lol We're dating now, so I think it depends on who you're talking with; some people like being blunt and others prefer just sort of hinting at it..

Usually I say "I'm just teasing" if I'm flirting with someone.. like, for instance, last night I was on the phone with someone I really like, and I said "Oh, you're so funny... funny looking!" and he knew I was joking, but I backed it up with "I'm only teasing." I dunno. I only do it with people that I know well and have this understanding with.

i have a friend who i've known for a year, but we really started getting closer as friends in the past 7 weeks. first of all, he's 26 and has a girlfriend. i've met her, she's extremely nice and wonderful, and they seem great together. in the past, maybe, 3 weeks, we've really gotten closer. he told me about his past and i told him a lot of things about myself... we just really hit it off. this past week we spent together because of a program that we're both apart of.. im a student of the program and he's a staff member (he's teh 2nd oldest staff member, but he acts and looks like he could be my age, not that that makes a big difference).. it was us and like 30 other people, and about 1/3 of the trip was spent on the bus, and we were together, always talking and laughing and hanging out. tuesday, the whole program went out to a dinner theater, and we dressed up and it was a nice place; very official and very fancy, so it was taken seriously by the program directors... we were about to get off the bus when everyone was asked to grab a partner (not necessarily couples, either-- a lot of guys picked their friends and most of my girlfriends were paired with each other) and he took my hand and asked i would "be his date for the night." i said yes, and i had the most wonderful time of my life! he walked me inside, pulled my chair out for me, and when time came to get our appetizers (the restaurant was a buffet-ish style) he asked when i would want to go up, and when it was time for dinner, he waited for me to finish... when i stood up for the bathroom, he stood up like a gentleman and.. everything was perfect! come time for dessert, we went to grab a bowl of ice cream (which you could indulge with your personal toppings) he asked if i wanted to share one. i was kind of shy ( ), so i gave him the option, and he decided that i would be more comfortable with our own bowls.. the play started, and he put his arm around me.. every little while, he would switch from that to putting his hand on mine, or grabbing my hand and just.. little things to show contact, ya know? wednesday, the program took us shopping for the day, and besides the little things i've mentioned before, he also gave me a mini-massage at lunch (we shared a meal) because my neck was cramped, and he was always asking what i wanted to do. then he tried to kiss me. he leaned down, but the first thing i thought about was his girlfriend, so i slightly moved my head and he caught my cheek. he asked me why, and i told him that i didnt expect it (and later, on the bus on the way back to the place where the program was staying, i explained it was because he had a girlfriend). he was a little angry that i didnt tell him that in the beginning, even though it should have been pretty obvious, so before he walked off, he told me he was going to call his girlfriend. that hurt me. instead of hanging out in the lounge that night, i went straight to bed, and my room mate was there and she comforted me while i was crying.. i couldn't understand why i was crying!! thursday, everyone woke up, went to breakfast, and then packed up to leave. we all got on the bus, and its about a 3 hour drive, so i was sittnig by myself for about an hour, when it was announced over the bus intercom that he was sorry for hurting my feelings, and that he hopes i can forgive me. 20 minutes later, he came back to talk to me, and explained that he was an idiot. he didnt know why he did what he did, and that he was truly sorry for hurting me. he also said that he didnt know why he would want to ruin what he had with his girlfriend. this hurt me a lot. the thing is-- he is still flirting with me. he still tells me that i have beautiful eyes, and that im very attractive, and that my previous boyfriends are stupid for ever ending our relationships. there's always an awkward silence when we finish talking about something,a nd we both sort of look away.. WHAT THE FLIP IS GOING ON? I still have feelings for him, and i think he still has some for me... i wont see him until September 1st, then i'll see him again, about 2 times a week, after October 10th. help! does he still have feelings for me, and is trying to supress them because he feels guilty about his girlfriend, or what? just please, tell me something!

i wasnt planning on meeting him any time soon, so there's no worries there. i just.. i dont know. i guess what i'm trying to say is: you don't know him like i do. thanks for replying. i wanted some honest opinions, and thats what i got. thanks.

my friend here has a question and will be speaking through me (lol) i have a boyfriend... but he lives 3000 miles away...oh, and i met him on the internet. we've known each other for about 2 months.. when we first "met" we chatted for a couple days but eventually stopped talking, (which is understandable because of the time difference.. he's about 5 hours ahead of me.. when i get online, its usually the wee AM hours where he is..) and about a week ago we started talking again we really hit it off and it all happened so fast.. we're now considering ourselves a "couple" and in a long-distance relationship. i'm almost 16 and he just turned 21... i know, the age difference is a big no-no, but with some of the things i've seen here, i think 6 years is an acceptable age difference. (after all, that's the age difference between my parents). he asked me waht i would say if he told me he loved me... i didn't know what to say (but i knew i liked him a lot) so i said that i'd probably say it back. every night for the past week, we've talked.. he'd stay up to talk to me (on the net, plus we have mics for the comp since it costs too much to use the phone) and we've said "love you" and "love you too" he told me that he's falling really hard for me and can't wait until my 18th birthday so we can meet. he knows the state that i live in and i know the general idea of where he lives (it's hard for me to understand the non-state stuff..lol) he's... hard to explain. i love talking to him and he makes me feel like i'm floating.. it's kind of corny, i know, but hey, i can't explain it any other way. so tell me: is this way too soon? is it wrong? what's going on? and most importantly: could this be for real? thanky for any replies! -confused987 and friend!

Thanks DN for replying. There's nothing really that I have to say beacuse you covered it all, but my grandparents are people that are very hard to understand. They tell me that I'm a miserable, ungrateful brat who hates them jut because i like to go to my friend's house after a long day of school, work, and then volunteer work. Last week, i asked to go to that friend's house, and my grandfather told me that if i wasnt back by 8:30, they'd call the police and say i ran away! i got to my friends house and all i did was cry (until, that is, she did her thing and had me laughing-- she's the only person who can make me laugh when i'm feeling like total crap). my grandparents think that because my dad screwed up, me and my brother are going to screw up! my dads brotehrs all got privelidges like the ability to stay out until 10 pm, then after they got their license, it was midnight!! i dont even get to stay out until 9 o'clock!! i understand what you said about them worrying, but i honestly believe that they're doing it because they're still sour about my dad screwing up his and their lives.. not to mention that they hate my mother with every fiber in their being, and they even told us that. Thanks, I appreciate the reply.

for a while now, i've been thinking about suicide on a daily basis. my life is the lowest it has ever been-- i finally realize that my mother is never going to get herself together to get her children back, my father was just arrested again, i live with my paternal grandparents (who give me NO privelidges beyond the internet-- and even then i have a 3-hour max), my internet friend made up some piss-poor excuse not to talk to me anymore, and im just about to kill my brother for his instigating and irritating tactics toward me. the suicide thoughts that i have... they're not like "oh, i'll kill myself to end it all now." they're more like "i wonder who would come to my funeral? would they speak? what would they say? would they cry?" i'm convinced that there's only one person who cares and could help me-- but i'm forbidden to talk to her. she's got piercings and tattoos and that sends off red flags to my grandparents, so they think that she's a bad influence (ITS JUST NOT TRUE-- she showed up late in the school year, so it was hard for her to catch up, so she decided that it was okay to miss a lot of school and get underaverage grades and to go to summer school and start fresh next year... my grades are still in the highest honors, all of my extracurriculars are being held, and i've only missed a couple days of school, which were before she showed up! they swear up and down that i'm oh-so-impressionable, but really, it's hard to change my goody-two-shoes/worry wart/paranoid persona. and on top of all that, i get too attached to people. my internet friend who i mentioned up there ^^^, i had only known for about 3 weeks when he decided to act like he didn't know how old i was, IM a friend to "find out" and then not even tell me that we're not talking anymore. i thought we were the closest of friends, but i guess not. now i wonder about all of my other "friends."

I agree with what others have said--- just try not to think about her as an object of interest; she's just another girl. I should take my own advice-- there's someone at school who, everytime he walks into the room, I can't help but turn

i know what you mean... she did call for him to sit, but the fact that he agreed just shocked me. Lol i couldnt imagine him knowing that i like him. there's only one person who knows (the girl who called him to sit) and she didn't tell him.

He sat there because my friend (who I should go and kill right now, by the way) waved him over when she saw him buying his lunch. She knows I have this ridiculous crush on him, so she calls him to come sit over and forget about eating with the boring english teacher. He wasn't dead serious about what he was saying-- he was doing it in a playful, flirt-ish way, which is why I don't understand. I don't mind him sitting there, but i have this thing where I'm really nervous around him, so it's hard to do anything. And I haven't seen him act this way around anyone else, but i could be wrong.

I know he's been a teacher for 5 years, but you can tell by looking at him that he didn't just graduate from college. I would say he's 35, give or take a couple years.

There's this teacher at school who just started sitting at our lunch table (which is really crowded, so no one really knows why he sat down) and I need to know the meaning of things he says to me. Last week, I was in the middle of a convo with one of my friends, and I hear my teacher saying to my other friend, a couple seats down, to "not mess with me." I turned and asked him why, and he said to my friend "Just don't mess with her 'cause she thinks she's bad since she started wearing her paper-clip necklace." i wasn't embarrassed, but i was shocked that he had something to say, so I came back to him with something like "At least I don't have to grow facial hair to look cool." and we kept going at it until lunch was over... was he flirting or was he just trying to blend into the teenage atmosphere with all the teasing and poking fun at people? It seems kind of petty, i know, but i really would like to know. thanks for any ideas on whats going on. confused987, who is really confused!

I sorta understand what you're going through, but with a few differences. Maybe you're misreading the signals. A lot of people, in reality and television, misread signals from other people and they end up blowing situations completely out of proportion. Maybe you could ask him. Just ask him, straight out, "Where are you going with the friendliness that you appear to have over me compared to the other students?" so it doesn't sound like you're asking him if he's seeking you out sexually. If you think you're too shy, or you're afraid he might try to pull something, have a friend (or a couple) stand near you, inconspicuously while you talk to him, just for some backup. Also, I think you should look for someone you can talk to about this in REAL LIFE. Not necessarily another teacher, counselor, or professional help, but maybe a friend who you think could understand. Good luck with this.