meiscreative

I could never go up and say that to him. That's the reason I'm here, posting this; it's because I can't go to him about it and I can't confront anyone else about it, I know they won't understand. I probably am misreading the signals, but something happened today that confused me. I got into a really heated argument with another student over something that happened a week ago (other students brought it up because they seemed to find it amusing that we argue) and I told her: "Let it go. It's over, it happened last week, the boys are just trying to get a rise out of us, and we resolved it. Just stop." and anything she said after that I ignored. The teacher, when the bell rung, dismissed people one-by-one, and left myself and the other girl in the class to speak. He told her that she shouldn't have gotten up and started cussing, and then sent her away. Then he sat with me (no closer than a classmate did just a few minutes ago) and said: "Her mother, who is the Dean of Students, wasn't able to make her connections to get her into the program that you both applied for, and because you got in, she's taking it out on you. You were extremely mature in telling her that it's over an to drop it, but It's better if next time, you just ignore her." And he walked me to the door and let next periods class in. Am I reading too much into this?

I agree with PAdreamer completely. Age is something to worry about, legally-speaking, but I believe maturity level (not to mention other things like humor and personal understandings) is the most important thing to think about.

Today was really hard. He was back from a weeklong relocation (at some other school) and he came back with this facial hair that just makes me melt. Arrgh, I changed my class this afternoon. Thanks for anyone who has been reading and posting... I'd post all this in my online journal but there are people at school who read it. Thank you. -MeIsCreative

Heh, I would date, but the whole problem with me is finding someone... I guess to my standards, you could say. I have a low tolerance for pervertedness and that seems to be mainly what guys my age like these days-- they like calling a girl names and having her get a high from it and, call me crazy, but I'm more of a romantic "hero saves the damsel in destress" person. I like to be swept off my feet. If I date, I'll be tempted for someone older and I just can't deal with the problems. Thanks, again. -MeIsCreative

Thanks for replying. What you've said kind of helps me understand what's going on, but not fully. I appreciate it. I just feel that I should put this out there (because I realize I didn't specify before): His dirty jokes weren't pointed towards me.. when he tells them, its in front of our whole class, so it's not like he's pin-pointing me. I understand completely that teacher/student relationships are strictly forbidden (as a matter of fact, at school, there was an assembly about it, which brought me to confront these feelings, which I now realize is a really bad crush on my teacher). I think I was just overevaluating the fact that we have a lot of things in common, and his interests in those things (like Lord of the Rings... he got his DVD before I got mine and I didn't talk to him until I got mine.. it was a playful joke thing). Thanks wellswomyn... I guess I am pretty mature. I've also come to the decision that I'm not going to date at least until I'm 18 because any guy that I'll want to date will be older and I really don't need the government to intervene. I need to know how to figure out these damned signals, too. I don't want to make this mistake again.

I'm new here... I'm just looking for some insight and advice from other people. (The next paragraph is sort of a background on what has happened to me and why I think I've a right to post here, I suppose.) I'm 15. I've gone through many things that have heightened my maturity in the past (i.e. at 11 I was the second parent in my household, quitting extra curricular activities to help my mom take care of my baby brother, helping my mom through her divorce and letting her understand that everything will be okay; I lived in a homeless shelter for 3 months and during that time, while also going to school, I held a job and managed my grades in school). Since I was about 12, I've always had thins thing for guys. Not boys.. of 13, 14, 15. Guys of like 21, 22, 23. I've always had this kind of attraction to them and they to me. When I was 12, I had a relationship with a 16 year old which only lasted 3 months, and within the next 5 months I was 13 and in a relationship with a 19 year old. That school year (8th grade), I had this flirting (or so it seemed from my point of view) relationship with one of my male teachers (whom I knew for a fact was in his early 30s) and I always enjoyed hanging around him, but it never left the flirting stage and it ended with the school year. This year (10th grade) I'm in a similar situation. I've got this teacher who, besides being a friendly guy, seems to have a maturity level (not to mention similar interests in Fantasy and SciFi books/movies) in sync with my own, which only creates a bigger dilemma for myself. I'm 15, I've got this really horrible crush (which seems to be starting a pattern every year) that causes these odd feelings and deep misunderstandings on my part; I'd like to think that this teacher finds me attractive in some way, but then again, I feel more than guilty because I've met his wife and I've met his two daughters (who are both now in college) and they are wonderful people. I'd hate to think that I could be the problem that breaks them apart, or ruins one of their lives or.. something else. This teacher... he seems to treat me different. I try to tell myself that it's just the crush that's making me feel that he teases me more with different things and purposely makes dirty jokes to get me to blush or is constantly seeking my approval on different things. I feel self-conscience and confused and ugly when I'm around this teacher, I'm constantly avoiding him any way that I can, while still trying to catch sideway glances at him. I ask: Is this normal? What is wrong with me, what's happening? What do I do about it? I have this longing for a meaningful relationship with a mature, experienced, and understanding guy, but I can't seem to wait. Please tell me what's going on. Thank you. -MeIsCreative