EmptySoul

My friend lives with her abusive grandparents and I live with my (normal mother and) bipolar, angry father. We both very much want to move out when we're 17, and we're afraid of our guardians getting in the way... When I got caught sneaking out to see my boyfriend, my father tried to get an exparte. It didn't hold up in court because my boyfriend is 17. But then a few days later a man from juvie came to talk to me...he told me they could lock up my boyfriend because I was only 16, because we'd had sex and because I'd asked him to pierce my back. (that was child endangerment, they said.) I'm 16 and 1/2 now, and the boy will turn 18 next month. I'm planning on living with him. If my father finds out is there anything he can do? I will be 17, the boy 18. That's all I am looking forward to right now, getting to be with this boy again... to move out on my birthday...And I'm so worried that these twisted people will find a loophole, once again. It doesn't help that this boy and I both like black eyeliner, converse, piercings, rock, etc. The man from juvie seemed very prejudiced against it and was asking me pointless questions like "How many piercings does ____ have?" He spent about an hour that day telling me how stupid I was for dressing the way I did, for dating someone like this boy, etc. (I had to get my hair color stripped using the money I'd saved up to move out, take out my small 2 gauge plugs, give my parents all my black clothes, and I'm not allowed to wear eyeliner.) it's like me and the boy are at a disadvantage because of the way we dress and look. Even my nice mother was only okay with it until she realized I wasn't growing out of it like she did... My friend's granparents are horrible to her. They tell her she's fat and ugly when she's pretty and only weighs 97 pounds. Her grandfather weighs 500 and sometimes hits her. They treat her like a slave, only letting her use a sponge to clean the whole huge house. They tell her that her dead father didn't have a heart attack, that he probably killed himself to get away from her. The horrible list goes on and on....But her grandmother is a reverend, and her grandfather owns a Country Kitchen....no one knows what goes on in their house, and everyone knows them as nice churchgoing friendly people, I think. Her boyfriend was living with her at her grandparents, but they kicked him out bc she "wasn't cleaning the house good enough" They made her sign a legal agreement saying she can't move out until she's 18. The said if she didn't sign it they'd tell everyone she was crazy so she couldn't get a job. They keep threatening to lock her up in a mental ward even though she shows no signs of depression or anything around them. She can't even get her permit bc your guardian has to sign that....Can they really keep her from moving out until she's 18? Is she really going to have to live with them? I know people do the best they can to make the law work....but some of it seems so unfair. Like if people are your guardians, you're stuck with them no matter what.... If you know a good link for this information, or you just know your facts about this sort of thing, please reply... EmptySoul

i like to cut, i am going to continue to cut, and ive started taking my own blood with a syringe. i'm going to do it no matter what you say, so please just tell me the information. empty

Hello. I weigh about 130 pounds, sometimes less.... 1#how much blood can i lose before i pass out? 2#before i die? I DO NOT want to kill myself, that's why i'm asking so i know how much blood i can lose. Empty

It's beautiful stitches, and I don't use the word beautiful lightly. Empty

Stitches, I don't really know what to say. I've known for a long time that I want to die on my own terms too. I'm wanting to wait until I'm 22, but sometimes it is oh so very hard. I don't think anyone should have to go alone...I remember talking about it a long time ago, going together instead of being alone. I wish you the best of luck with that girl you care about and I hope you keep pming me or write me bc you're great. I'll talk to you as soon as I can. Empty

Thanks everyone for the replies, especially Kinjy. Empty

First of all, yes, I am 15 (16 in Aug.) and I have sex. Yes, I used to be very promisuous and anti-relationship. Yes, I have had sex with many people. If you are going to ooh and ahh and lecture on my lifestyle, don't waste your time typing. Now, I've been with 12 males sexually. I have depression and have cared about 2 out of the 12. I am aware that my depression and lack of emotion most likely have an effect on my ability to have an orgasm, but I didn't think it would still be holding me back. I've came close many times, but never had an orgasm, even through masturbating. I have a problem with enjoying masturbating, I can only seem to enjoy being touched by someone else. I don't know what to do anymore to be able to have one. I don't focus on it during sex, so it's not like I'm too worried about it to have one. I posted recently about my boyfriend having multiple orgasms, telling me that he'd had 4. He asked me if he'd beat me. I didn't say anything, I didn't want to tell him I didn't have any. (Though it wouldn't be a big deal if I felt the need to) Especially since it seems when I tell people I've never had one they focus on it and that does make me nervous. And it makes them feel as though they're not good enough. Any tips? I get close, but never there. *sigh* I probably need to masturbate, but... Empty

First of all, I'm very aware that anorexia is dangerous and unhealthy. But I am curious about it. How long using anorexia does it take to lose weight or to be able to notice a physical change? If you know any facts or have any comments on anorexia, please reply. Thanks. Empty.

Wow, a lot of replies. First, I think we used 2 condoms in this 2-2 1/2 hour period, but he said he was changing because the one he had one was running out of lubrication. Yes, I am aware of the risks of sex, and I know a lot of people don't agree with people my age having sex. I am on the pill. And as far as I know, around here, my boyfriend is not breaking the law until he turns 18. And if he is breaking the law at the moment, I'll handle that. Empty

My boyfriend is 17. He rarely masturbates; he'd rather wait and have sex. We had sex for a few hours this morning, and when we were done he told me he'd had 4 orgasms. I was just like "wow". I know it's probably because of him never masturbating but I was still surprised. And I've only recently started having sex with him, so I couldn't tell he had orgasmed. Is it normal or unusual that he had more than one orgasm? Just curious. Empty

Good job. These are the lines I like: Empty

Good job. I like these lines: Empty

I found a site on suicide methods (it's meant to show the reality of it, not to urge people to do it) and it seems that this way of suicide would be hard but: Acute intoxication and death had been reported in children following ingestion of apricot seeds which are capable of releasing 217mg of cyanide per 100 g of moist seeds. I guess apricot seeds would be better? Ha. Empty

*smiles* "Interesting" I don't want to die right now...in the future, yes. Around 25. I don't know why I hate the thought of growing old so much...I just do. Even if I'm rich, get surgery and still look 25 no matter how old I get...I just don't want to live to be 30. Empty

I don't want to live to be old... Empty

NOTE: in class today, my science teacher explained that bc of cyanide in apple seeds, if you were to eat a cup of them, it would be fatal... -Apple Seed Suicide- They say you're a freak Just like me But you don't talk of taking your life And you shake your head when I tell you my plans Of committing apple seed suicide... It's 5 years later Wherever we are You're somewhere in my life You forgot about the plans I told you Of comitting apple seed suicide You laugh at me As I eat apple seeds I just smile At the sound of your laugh I remember that you told me no But I never took those words back I kiss your lips And hold your hand As we lie down to sleep You close your eyes I cry and cry I whisper goodbye Because I'm the girl that dies From apple seed suicide... Empty

I just feel like writing about some experiences of mine, hopefully to the aid or interest of other people. I noticed that an old friend of mine posted how she wants to stop having sex now, after being with 10 guys. I've been with 11, and I'm sure it won't stop there. And we're both 15. I lost my virginity when I was 14, I turn 16 this summer. I didn't even love the guy, I'd only dated him for 2 weeks. This sounds insane doesn't it? Me and this friend would sneak out all the time, coming to school the next day sore, smiling, and exhausted. The insanity. Why do people do this? Why do WE do this? I don't know. It was just one guy at first...and then another and another.... My friend and I are different though. I think she still has sex for pleasure, and maybe out of habit, while many of people I have had sex with has been bc I'm too weak to say no, or bc I just didn't care. Sometimes it is bc I want to though. See, there's rules to just having sex. you can't get jealous, or attached. you can't be insecure. Now...even if I want a relationship, it's like I can't have one. My emotions are so screwed up from only having sex and no relationships, that I won't even think about feeling for someone unless they tell me they care for me first. I won't say anything that can get me hurt. I won't spend time alone with someone without being prepared to have sex. And you can't change a reputation so easily. I'm not telling you not to live my life. It's fun sometimes. There's something amazing about sneaking out in the dark, singing along to the radio, making plans, having a friend to do all the bad sh__ with. Coming to school the next day tired, and remembering the night before. But then there's the times when people actually care about you, and you treat them like someone who only wants sex. When you can't run away from your reputation. When you forget how to say no. When you can't remember half of the things you've done, bc all of the memories and people bleed together. When you realize most ADULTS haven't had as many partners as you. When you try to care...when you want to have a relationship....but your heart wont open up anymore, bc it was taught to stay CLOSED. Empty

Most likely she's just uncomfortable and afraid she'll embarrass herself. Maybe masturbate in front of her if you're comfortable with that, so she can see what feels good for you. Or if she'll let you, tell her you'll show her how, take her hand, and put it on your penis. Maybe instruct her on how to give you oral. Most of all you have to make her feel comfortable and like she's not going to be embarrassed. Empty

A little while back, maybe a month or so, I had unprotected (no condoms, only birth control pill) sex with 2 men. A friend of mine spoke to me about std's and got me worried so i went and got tested today just in case, and haven't had sex since my last unprotected time. i won't get the results back until may 9th. I'm supposed to see someone this saturday. the last time i saw him, i wouldn't even let him touch me down there, much less have sex with me or give me oral sex, just in case i have something. i haven't had any signs of anything. If I DO have sex this weekend, using condoms, what are the chances I have something without any strange symptoms having shown? I know that using condoms, skin still touches so std's can be spread, and also through oral sex. all that. I wouldn't want to give this boy anything. Don't judge me. Just look at this from...hmm..a doctor's view. Empty

greenie35, the boy/man, whatever is 24 or around there, his wife is a senior in high school. Recently my friend has overheard her talking about being pregnant... Empty

Please don't reply about how what I am doing is wrong, etc. I'll just ignore you. Only reply about my questions... This man has a young (about 18 ) attractive wife, and he cheats on her, with me. Everyone says they argue all the time, etc. Once she told our gym teacher to call her by her other last name (her maiden name) bc they had split up. But they're still together. Anyway, him cheating on her to have sex is one thing. But now he tells me he loves me. And he asks me to tell him I love him. He's asked me numerous times if I could stand for him to be the person I had sex with for the rest of my life. He's asked me if I would be with him if I got pregnant with his baby. Asked me if I'd want to have his baby. He asked me tonight if I want him to kidnap me, I said "I wish", and he said something about us going to Florida. He said, "You'd have to marry me though, would you marry me?" Of course, I don't believe he actually loves me. He may think he does, bc when I told him he was crazy, he started listing things about my body, and sexual things. Why does he fantasize/get turned on by hearing me say I love him? Why does he like to say he loves me? Why does he like to fantasize about me living with him, me marrying him. Me having his baby? He's already married, and that hasn't been going too well as far as I've heard, and it's obvious since he's cheating on her. But why in the world would he fantasize about marriage when it's already not went well once?? Empty

let me lie on your chest/while i breathe it all away/give me a heartbeat for my ear/i know it can beat without me/and maybe i don't want to let go/what if i stay?/days left to kiss you/days left to lie there/days to just be/but it's all left to chance/and i'm not strong enough to keep losing this game/you're strong enough to live through the pain/you were always winning... my black eyeliner's running/as my life runs down my face/heartbeat in my ear/to give me the bravery to do this alone/breathe in, breathe out/you're so full of life/i can feel your future as i'm sliding/i'll put my arms around you/hold tight to your heartbeat/just kiss me/it's pure ecstasy/and i'm gone... but reality is overrated/and im praying to someone who's not there/i'll lie on an empty bed/covered in sin/no heartbeat but the one in my chest/i just fade/i'll just stare at the ceiling/of my wh_rehouse/until i fade away... and no one can guess a reason/i guess maybe i don't have a reason/except i just don't/need to breathe... Empty

But don't go for the "I'm bi, screw you all I don't care what you think" thing, that will only make people intimidated or just freaked out by you in general. Hahaha. oops... Empty

I'm not going to pass any judgement on him for what he likes. I'm not a judgemental person. It's not something I've ran accross before, that's all. As far as the girth thing...*shrugs* don't think that's why... He's 19. No, I don't really know him. But bc of the way I live my life, that's not a big deal. Empty

A guy I have sex with says that to last longer, when he gets close he will slow down and kiss, etc. Then start again... Empty