EmptySoul

want to use that blade but i guess i chose to quit so i type these words. Empty

love not forgotten the first never goes away you are back again. Empty

I'm planning on mailing my internet friend some things. Just like a ring, some pictures, some drawings, and pins, like the round ones that say things on them. Are there certain rules, like will i be able mail all these things in an envelope, or will they send it back bc the pins and ring are metallic, and bc it weighs more than a piece of paper? or will i need extra stamps? i dont really know. i appreciate any help. Empty

Good job. I like the last stanza best. Empty

bloody red roses on my path of discontent i smile as i bleed. Empty

Alicia, I was already crying the other night when I talked to you, just because so much was going on with me and my body, and my heart and in my head. But when I heard about your grandfather I was crying more bc I can't imagine what it's like and I love my grandfather so so much. I know it hurts so bad, but I'm glad that you are strong enough to see that he's in a better place. It's so incredibly better than here. And just think, you're going to get to see him. You're going to get to go there, Lisha. And when you're there you'll never hear people lying to you, or not noticing how beautiful you are. You'll love it there. And a poem about myself, because it's all I have to say. The path I choose Is full of thorns I'm bleeding every step of the way I'm naked And I'm torn I touch the roses Beautiful Like silk And they draw me in Can't you see that it's raining And I'm drowning But it's beautiful The rain is always beautiful And it waters the beautiful roses Their thorns covered in my blood I love you, so so much. Empty

I really liked it. Good job. Here's one of my favorite lines: Empty

I know that I'm a lot more apathetic about things due to my depression. Or, I think it's my depression. Me being apathetic has made me more promiscuos, etc. I no longer even know what I want. Even if I try to think about it. Hard to believe, but I really don't know. Finally, I met a guy who didn't know I am the way I am...he's like that too. Just does what people wants, and that's all. What does it mean? Or, why am I, and other people like this?? Just doing what people want, not caring, not feeling anything either way, just wanting whatever it is they want. I couldn't change back to wanting something even if i tried. Please reply. Empty

I love to watch a man masturbate, and I think it is a great turn on to watch each other masturbate. Empty

Like others have said, you two can be good for each other. Because you share the same problems. The hard thing is, if he happens to be in a good mood (just saying If) or if you do, one of you can put a damper on the other. I know how it is, I deal with depression, and my relationship with my best friend has been all over the place bc she wants to get better, and I don't want to bring her down. It's a very hard thing to handle, and you just need to talk to each other about it. Empty

I hate ladybugs. Not to the point where I faint if I see one, but being around them makes me start to feel really uncomfortable, checking my hair to make sure they're not in there, makes me itch, etc. And growing old. I really really don't want to. I want to stop at about 23. Empty

I deal with depression, and am a recovering self-injurer. I don't trust people or put myself in a position where I'm going to get hurt. But even if I become totally happy, marry some great amazing person. Have a wonderful life and enjoy every day, every minute, growing older still doesn't appeal to me. What I'm saying is that I don't think I will commit suicide out of pain and sadness...I think it will be because I am done living, I don't want to grow up. I don't think about the future that much, but even when I focus on it...I can only imagine wanting to live until my early 20's. I don't know why...You grow old, if you're alone, you're just alone. If you're with someone, they are the only one's that think you're beautiful, because they love you. You focus on the past all the time, trying to remember what it was like to be young and pretty and having fun. You have your family, who loves you. You get older and older and no one really wants to come and see you, they either do it out of obligation or responsibility. Christmas isn't exciting anymore, you lost the magic of it so long ago you can barely remember what it's like. You start smiling when you receive candles or socks, things like that. I just would much rather live to be 20something. Be young, have fun...live every day filling it with as much fun as possible. I know...I'm crazy. Ive tried to change the way I feel, but I can't. I truly feel even if I rid myself completely of my depression and self injury, that it won't change. Maybe I have a phobia of growing old. I don't know. Any comments appreciated. Empty

yep, i eat normally pretty much. sometimes im low on sleep or go out in bad weather, but the neck, back of head, whole body aching seems weird for a cold or something. Empty

It flows well. Empty

No, I'm not fasting anymore. I've been eating. So what do you think it is? Empty

I think I'm sick, or something, please tell me what you think is wrong with me: My head hurts, mostly over my eyes, it pounds if I do too much or move too fast. My neck aches, it hurts when I move it. And my throat hurts when I swallow. Thanks in advance. Empty

Good job. I like it. Empty

1) I don't like boyfriends. There are certain people that I have sex with, but no relationships. It seems lately that even though they are already getting sex, a couple of these guys want more. One tells me he loves me sometimes, has talked about me moving in with him...another admitted he likes me blah blah. What makes these guys want more? I don't understand it. 2)I've mentioned before that I've had sex but never an orgasm. Bc of the talent of some, (lol) I'm pretty sure that it must be my depression that keeps me from getting there, or something like that. A guy I fool around with wants me to orgasm. I tell him not to worry about it, and that I just focus on him having one. But he really wants me to have one. It puts pressure on me, and doesn't really help. What can I say? I've never had one, so it's too hard, don't try? Thanks. Empty

Wow, "amazing". Thanks. Empty

you get done with another guy and it's hard to breath again you're suicidal you want to die but you're laughing at his jokes saying yes, i had fun too you don't remember why it started and you don't know why you can't say no all you know is that you're tired you see that you are tired your toes are on the ledge you love the darkness of the sky the stars that shine so bright like pinpricks in the blanket of night but it's not enough to keep you here you know this, you do and you whisper to god that you love everything he did for you if he's there maybe you hope he's there you're falling the sky you always loved is flying by and you wish you could've jumped up to see if there's a heaven but down is the only way to go and i guess it suits you and you know the taste of blood and concrete bitten tongue and broken teeth broken bones that you can feel, so much worse than those scars of yours you can't hear anything except the rush of the pain but even now it's fading in the background you can hear the people they're screaming they're crying and some of them just stare they know that they are at fault they ridiculed when you needed them most you can see your eyes there's nothing left to view except the live ones staring at the dead one- you. Empty

No, I'm not/never have been raped. My depression has led to me being promiscuous and I have conflicting feelings about it. Empty

It only feels right when you're silent when there are no words to remind me that you're human and so am i and what we're doing is so animal so emotionless pushed simply by the feeling in our skin in our body simple pleasure maybe that's why it has to be dark then you're just a body part without a face so why do you have to hold my hand? i can feel your fingers-5 just like HUMANs have and sometimes i guess it scares me that i can just not care and the number keeps on building it has been, almost now for 2 years 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... and now 8 Lucky, oh, lucky you You got picked to **** me too i can smell you on my fingertips from when i closed my eyes and touched your skin until we're just 2 bodies with no lives no world, no pasts or future but then it's over and i'm walking home in the dark im sleeping alone in bed and here comes the ****ing world again everthing is back again and there's one more person to add to my list... Empty

Okay...If i am going to get the morning after pill i am going tomorrow after school...everyone please tell me if i should do this or not, since someone just replied that it is a bad idea? And how much does this pill usually cost? Thanks so much. Empty

I threw up that pill like a week or two ago... Empty

It's about 4 pm right now. Sometime around 2 am this morning I had sex. We didn't use a condom, but I'm on the pill. The problem with that is a little while back I got sick, and I might have thrown up my pill that day. And you only have to miss 1 pill to get pregnant. He came inside of me. I'm really really worried. This guy isn't even my boyfriend. I know, it was stupid of me. What I'm needing to know is what options do i have as far as emergency contraception goes? The morning after pill or whatever...I have no way to get that tonight. What else?? Please reply ASAP. Empty