pablovblack

yeah send it, I'm gonna send one to my ex on 23rd august even if she hates me or whatever, it shows maturity and respect. Just watch out you dont get hurt, be on yoru toes.

I had that feeling this morning, it was the first time I have felt like that in 6 long weeks, I'm no where near recovered but Its nice to know that there is some progress there. It will all be good in the long run man, we will meet that someone, we will.

I was just thinking, how hard must it be to try and grieve a breakup without this website, what did people do before!! it must have been so much worse, feeling like you was the only one in the world with that pain. Knowing there are others makes it so much easier, like we are not totally alone in our grieving. This forum has helped me so much, when I get better I will make it my vow to stop by from time to time and try help others, such a great community.

Ross man, I think you really need to just let go of the scared thoughts and proper just get in there, get yourself down to a bar, anyone thats notoriously known for being a "cattle market" get yourself real drunk and just ask girls if they want a drink or if they want to go out sometime. I have a mate who isnt even good looking and he asks on average about 10 birds when hes out, he always pulls, you need some confidence man, get to the gym or start pumping up. Dont be scared of approaching chicks, you have nothing to lose. Go on fella you'll be ok. They never come up to you (rarely), they like to be chased.

It looks to me like shes giving you the cold shoulder, I would say that you need to come away and let her decide what shes doing, If you stop talking to her full stop, she will probably try and contact you in a better mood. My ex did this to me, so im just going the whole NC thing, Ive tried to be nice to her and if she doesnt want me then she can take a hike.

Oh man, this is exactly what I'm like, I have a website for my band and I know pretty much who visits by looking at the stats, shes on AOL you see, So if I get a hit from AOL I always imagine that its her and that shes looking on there because shes interested in what Im doing or just wants to look at some of the old pics of us on it (Which I should delete). I had a couple hits a week or so ago and it was from AOL, I really thought it was her until I realised it was a friend cos they told me they was looking on it for the next gigs, Yes I was upset...... Again.....

Where in the UK are you living bud?

Thanks Man.

It doesnt in Huddersfield either, tell me about it....

I feel for you man.

When I had my chance , I really didnt know how to be successful in a relationship, I couldnt see it from the outside and thereforeeee failed, I am very confident that now I am capable of having an awesome relationship with this girl, We was very much in love, Lots of amazing times, but a few of my "issues" caused the split. But your right Süsser Tod I need to accept the breakup and move on. Its just so very hard when you become enlightened and begin to appreciate what you had and what you could potentially give. Ive been very blind and I can see it all clear as day now. Yeah, your right RayKay, I try and imagine it happening and then think it would actually be easier because I could then really begin to push them out of my life as I know there is simply nothing I can do and all the hope is gone. Well..... I thought this life had been hard in the past, but boy did I not know about this little emotional rollercoaster.

Now I've done a lot of reading here in the past few days, and many great posts have really helped me out in certain areas of overcoming a break up, posts by the great SuperDave and Mix Maxter, Ive learned how to not beat myself up over the thought that its all my fault and to stop dwelling on what I have done in the past and that It can't be corrected now and also the reason you did it was because you did not know you was doing anything wrong at the time. You can only learn and apply your failures to the future no matter what outcome you have. This has helped me immensley. But what is the hardest part for me to get my head round is the thought of some other guy trying to score with my ex, it absolutely destroys me to think about it, Knowing that some other guy is going to be allowed his chance, when I know now if I had that same chance It would be all good. Does anyone have any experience of how to actually overcome, dare I say a little bit of jealousy and the thought of your loved one with someone else. I think this is the hardest thing for me to get my head and self around. We have been broken up 5 weeks, She told me she still loved me 2 and a half weeks ago, I have recently started No Contact. Any thoughts?

I walked past my ex'x car the other night and had a quick glance inside (like you do), She had Kelly Clarksons Since youve been gone CD. It kinda upset my because thats a song when you really want to get over someone. Left me feeling there was even little chance for reconciliation.

I think what your doing is good man, your in a similar position to me as I mentioned before, except you still have contact, we really need to learn from what we have done. What gives me hope is that I know when I meet someone else, that someone whos out there and doesnt know it yet but there going to really get the best of me, and I WONT make the same mistakes again, I cant because I simply do not want to lose someone I love again, Its a tragedy.

I had a dream 2 nights ago that my ex was in bed and I had my arm around her, I woke up and my hand was in the postion like she was there, I was totally mortified.

Come on Dave your next man!!!

Max, This was a very nice article indeed. Well done and thanks.

I still have things that belong to my ex at home such as bath robe, slippers, bras, hair straighteners. She still has keys to my house but hasnt dropped them off. Should I have got all this sorted before I started NC, (im 2 days in) or would it be good to leave her for a few weeks and then request getting our stuff back.. please help...

Thanks HardShowingAffection Yes I really can see now where I was going wrong, and I know that Ive changed, sincerely. Your words ring bells in my situation, that you only learn after the relationship.

This has just helped me very much thank you.

Ok here goes, Ive been with a girl for 5 years 3 months, she is now 20 and Im 23, Im not going to lie here but I didnt really treat her so well the time we was together, I took her for granted and always thought that she would be there when I needed her and she always was. Now dont get me wrong we love each other and we shared some very loving intimate beautiful moments, but my downfall was my inability to say I wanted to commit and also that I used to put her second to my friends If I was wanting to go out etc. In fact Im surprised she put up with me so long. What happened was me and a friend stayed over at a girls house, now before you think it no I didnt sleep with her but I never came home I fell asleep on the couch, all the while my girlfriend was asleep at my house wondering where I was, she was very upset, then a week later this girl who's house I stayed over at started to text me, shes a friend, but It didnt look good and before I knew it my grlfriend had had enough, she walked out of my life and that was that. Now I thought I would be able to handle her leaving me and that I could just get on with it, but I cant I feel like i've let her down and I feel now like I can offer her so much as I can now truly see where I went wrong. I know it might not be a good idead but Ive tried letters, writing songs, making her a treasure hunt, everything, but she has had enough of my s*** for so long and does not want to feel like that anymore... My question then? I really want her back I know I can make her happier than anything now I can truly see what a complete idiot I was, but she isnt willing to let me try, what must I do, perform the fabled NC routine or what? I really dont know what to do its been 5 weeks since we split and two weeks ago she told me she loved me on the phone and seemed interested in making it work, Then she got cold and just stopped after a text message which said "I know its hard, Please Leave me alone" this was a few days after the call. She has some very persuasive friends aswell and I cant help but feel there telling her to do the NC thing and wash herself from my life. It the toughest thing I've ever experienced, Ive never felt so low, I have so much to give but Ive messed it up now, I hope theres something I can do. Should I have not contacted her? Its hard when all you want to do is make them see that you have changed. Oh and she lives 5 minutes away (walking)and works accross the road, its so hard....