77streaks

hang in there anti love superstar... if you need time off, take it. it sounds like you are considerate of your parents feelings, which is causing you the fear of letting them down...but i think they will understand, and they would have observed that you did try when you enrolled in a new course and got good grades. you can let them know that you don't want to hurt them, but this is the truth that you can't cope right now, and you need time and counselling. they will be supportive. if you think you want to bite the bullet and do it, then come up with a schedule and a timeline on how you are gonna finish your work and stick to it. best of luck!

that's so inspiring. i ended things with my ex, cos he had been hiding things from me...such as a card he made for his best friend, an underwear model who calls him the "love of her life" and introducing me as a "friend" to his exdate, whilst kicking up major fusses about me not being committed to him. He would get upset when i refused to answer as to whether i would marry him. and all of this in a 4mth relationship, and while he quit his job. yea, so i know its good to "Just Let Go" because its never going to work out, and i wouldn't be happy with someone as inconsistent and dramatic as he is ( keeping me up at 3am, cos he is not convinced i love him) Some of this problem is his insecurity and immaturity and my refusal to work it thru...cos i think he needs therapy, he won't get it. i ran into his good friend other day at my bus stop and it was disgusting for me, that "underwear model" girl who irritates me. She wouldn't stop talking, and i found her sickening. Part of me just wanted to ask her why she behaves in such a way, she puts up her nude pictures on msn etc. But, i try not to judge or to put her down, but plainly i am sickened. ergh. I just want to let go, but this nasty aftertaste lingers. I just want it to go away. i doubt confronting my ex will do any good, i have ended things with him and don't trust him... the thing is i actually believed him before. now, there are a couple of guys after me asking me out, but i just feel so sickened by guys in general, or rather in my judgement that i just feel very un-able to move on. its been about two weeks, and the rlnship was short...but i still feel so nauseated. I am recovering from an accident, and while the rlnship was good, i felt so safe and happy having someone who cared so much for me, but now it seems so fake, and i feel so disillusioned and unable to let any guy close to me. i just feel terrible, and angry, and i don't know how to express this anger. I feel so pent up and now having to recover physically i try to keep an even temper, but i am so pissed off. i don't know how to deal with it, cos NC keeps me calmer, but i am still simmering... any advice?

i understand. i am on NC. its tough, i've gotta get my stuff back from him, and since i bought a second hand laptop from him, i need the password etc, its a pain. i don't feel like seeing him... in fact i ran into this girl whom he had a duboius relationship near my house, and i was just so irritated, whilst she just kept on chattering on and on. i feel alot of anger still. The only thing that keep me doing NC, is that it seems to have a cumulative benefit...cos moving on has a momentum, and that frail momentum can be halted by meeting the ex which triggers a mixture of emotions. hang in there yea...good luck....

if you do not feel anymore love for your wife, then maybe its time to leave. Pity is not a good reason to stay. But, yes i pity her too. Why prolong her misery and yours? If you will not take the steps to leave S and rebuild your relationship with your wife, i suppose the best thing you can do is to let your wife go. Now you "have one feet in each boat" and you're gonna fall over. let her go, your wife deserves someone who loves her. boy, this sounds so painful. i can only really believe that you don't love your wife, because you've cheated on her repeatedly and you don't really care about her feelings, or try to understand her...which leads me to think, you don't love her, maybe you only loved her for what she could contribute to your life, by being the wife in the location you want, when you want. you really don't sound like you want to rebuild this with your wife. in fact this relationship seems "dispensable", and what is serious is that this other person invested 14 yrs with you, and had two kids with you. Her heart must be so broken. suggest, you speak to a counsellor for your own personal development, perhaps you have some issues that you need to work on. Even if you go off with S, the same issues could re emerge...

hi there, i'm no expert, but it sounds like he's addicted to porn! he needs some counselling, maybe...can't say what's normal, what's not. but, just so you know u're not alone...i would be very uncomfortable in the situation you're in. good luck.

hi Stryker, it sounds like you are the kind of person who likes being there for people. perhaps to distract yourself and to be of positive impact to others, you cld consider becoming a mentor or getting involved in charity work? just my two cents worth. i m sure when your ex is sorted she will realise what a good intentions you had towards her. in any case, you are not responsible for her life, she is. and you've tried before, so you've done your best, so its time for you to concentrate on your own healing. Sometimes leaving a person is the best thing you can do, for her and for you. She has to realise that you find it unacceptable, because it affects her life negatively and affects you. I hope you feel better soon, and definitely with time these feelings will lessen in degree,

just to add, alot of the reports i read...a grape diet tend to help. as in eating only grapes, as it has large qty of anti oxidants. you could google it. all the best wishes

dear ray kay, my mum had cancer when i was 7 and passed away when i was 9. after that i started to read up alot on cancer therapies when i was 16 -20. amongst the readings i did, many people reported that having a vegetarian diet helped. I sincerely hope to help, although i am no doctor. My friend's mum who had breat cancer too, went on a vegetarian diet and sought therapy to talk out whatever issues she had experienced, as cancer could also be linked to some kind of unresolved issues. Your mother is lucky to have such a supportive child. I am sure she feels the love and that will boost her morale and chances. Good luck! God bless your mother and all of your family.

oh dear, hugs. its common to feel bad when your partner has a porn thing and had an emotional affair, but it may not be you. perhaps you guys cld consider going for marriage counselling? is he stressed about somethings else? are you having post natal blues? I'm not an expert, but i am wondering if there are other underlying issues. Good Luck, and remember you are beautiful in every single way and always treat yourself well.

hi there, sounds tough. hmm...so you guys been married before, and divorced. Are the issues causing the divorce still there? are there things to resolve? if so, if you guys talk about it, it may be good to have a relationship counsellor involved. i've never been married so i can't be a good advisor on this. do you still love her, or are you just lonely? Good luck.

if you don't know what to talk about, you could ask questions and then listen! Listening is a very attractive quality! notice what's special about them, could be something they are wearing, the hobbies they are keen on. try to talk to the girls without expectations, just "practice" and if you have no other motive than to be a sincere friend, one or two girls will eventually stand out...and maybe more will develop! good luck

hi there! what triggers the desire to cut yourself? Is it some kind of emotions, any particular person(s) you come in contact with, post party, post alcohol, post drugs? I just hope to understand what makes you want to cut yourself...cos that's probably what you may need to deal with. cheers, and breath in deep!

instead of meds, consider a therapist or a hypnotherapist...someone to make you aware of the thought and memory patterns that's hurting you? good luck! cheers

hi there, i just broke up with a guy who rushed the whole marriage thing, and wanted to meet with my parents, and wanted me to meet his parents etc... he is very insecure and i found out dodgy things about him as time went by. He could be rushing you cos he wants you to be commited before you have enough information to change your mind. Now i think, the guy ought to be happy just spending time with you getting to know each other. Slow down. Perhaps he is just elated to have met the girl of his dreams, but you are entitled to take your own time, and remember to spend time with your friends too. Cheers and good luck

its beautiful that you want to be there for her and stand by her as she changes her habits and way of life...but does she really want to change? you said that you "settled her down, got her a job" etc, but in the end she's gotta want to settle herself down, and change because she wants to. the fact that she calls you when shes in trouble means that she knows she can count on you to be the rock of stability and strength. but...it sounds tough. I hope your car stuff gets sorted out soon. I think if you ever get back together with her it should only be when she's decided to sort out her own life and decides she wants to be with you. good luck!